planning the honeymoon....frustrating....

[jeank74]

I am frustrating because I have trouble communicating with my fiance about what WDW is. about....

He has never been to any Disney park before. So he let me do the planning. But when I have trouble and need his advice, he would then say "i don't know because i have never been there."

I have asked him to browse trough websites like Deb's unofficial guide to WDW. But it does not work. In addition, my fiance and I are in a long distance relationship--He is on the East and I am on Pacific. That along makes everything tough.

Can anyone give me any advice on how I can get my fiance involved in the honeymoon planning? I am so stressed out on planning the wedding already, and the school work.

Thanks!

Jean

 

[amw5g]

If he's not interested in WDW, perhaps you should cinsider a honeymoon elsewhere. I've often read that newlyweds end up having less then wonderful honeymoons when a place is new or undesireable to one or both of the people.

Perhaps you could have him plan certain aspects of the trip. If he likes recreation activities, have him plan your boat rentals, fishing excursions, spa visits, horseback riding, etc. He likes to cook/eat, have him plan specific meals and make the PSs for them. He's a financial/spreadsheet whiz, have him devise a calendar and budget giving alternate scenarios for different meals/hotels/extras. Giving him the resources without a direction is likely to be pointless (you are finding that out). He needs a specific task that piques his curiosity. Consider the vast array of activities and opportunities that WDW offers and you'll see that he's overwhelmed.

As for the long-stance thing, well you're on your own there. You can't be his mother and hound him about it or he'll backlash even more. Again, the key might be to find a niche for him to work on. You two can compare notes on a regular basis that makes sure he doesn't feel nagged, but that comforts you. We set aside Wesnesday nights as our wedding planning time, which was a good idea. Of course, we quickly broke that rule now that we're less than 2 weeks away, but you get the idea.

Hope this helps,
Andrew

 

[maxie]

I can relate. (well not about the long distance thing but..) I've been to WDW and DL ( not recently but have been) but FH has not. He actually owns most of the Disney vidoes and has literally $1000s worth of Disney animation cells. AND he loves rides and water parks so I know he will love Disney and really wants to go. SO I know we are on the same wavelenth -BUT he refuses to plan at all. I have several guidebooks, pamphlets, etc and he doesn't flip through any! I'm so excited, more excited about Disney than the wedding!! (it's my 2nd marriage - so been there, done that - when it comes to a wedding - I just want to be married!!).
He's NOT a reader and so can't seem to get him to read a guide. He'll help if I explain all the choices to hime - re PHP vs Ultimate, etc. If he had to do the planning he probably would have let travel agent do it and we would have paid 2x as much!
I would just plan it yourself and not stres about it! I find planning the WDW stuff was fun and a nice break from the wedding stuff. (except stuff like car rentals and airplace fares which was NOT fun or interesting)

 

[jeank74]

Maxie,

your FH sounds like mine... Mine would give me that look when I give him the guide book...

 

[Timon71]

Jeank74,

Please don't be upset by this reaction. I had my first ever trip to Disney with my FH this past April and now we are getting married there in October. I had the exact same reaction to looking at books, reading articles, etc. for the first trip. I felt that he already knew what was good and what was not so good and knowing what I like he would better lead our first trip. This is what we did finally. We printed out different restaurants' menus from Deb's site - the ones he liked or hadn't been to. I looked through them (I'm a picky eater) and decided if I would like to eat there.
Don't get discouraged... After being there once I feel much more comfortable picking restaurants and activities, but I didn't feel "educated" enough the first trip. Plan things he likes and you would do if you were honeymooning anywhere!

Good Luck!

Monica & Jay
10/29/02
Sunset Pointe

 

[renessa]

Don't dispare...my new DH (just back from honeymoon) wouldn't even look at a Disney site to pick out the hotel. I had to find sites with pictures. Pictures caught his attention. Brian thought that I had it under control and he had complete faith in my planning capabilities. (Me disney expert him not!!!!)

But, on the ride down, he started asking questions, wanting to know all about each day's plans, looking at literature we found at the Florida Welcome Center, etc. I am so proud of him now, showing the pictures to our families and knowing resorts, restaurants, etc. He learned so much so quick (maybe a good teacher came into play???) LOL!!! He even plans to return in a few years. My guess is that he will turn around. I really can't imagine anyone having a horrible time even if he doesn't turn into a disney nut. Just plan things you know he would like and hope for the best. Good luck!!!!!!! Ren

 

[jeank74]

thanks for the support, everyone!

Ren, congratulations! I will be staying at CBR for my honeymoon, too. My FH is like your DH. I have to show him pictures to get him interested in the planning. Hopefully he will like Disney as much as I do. I am a disneyfanatic!

 

[Dopeygirl]

My husband just isn't a planner, so when we were planning our WDW land/sea honeymoon, it was hard. I tried to find out WHAT he was interested in planning and then just did the rest myself. He wanted to be involved in picking the resort (he wanted Contemporary, I wanted Grand Floridian, we compromised on the Polynesian and loved it!). He also wanted to pick out a couple places to eat. He thought Teppenyaki sounded cool, so he picked that. And then he wanted to do a nice steak dinner one night, so I gave him a few choices and let him pick (Concourse Steakhouse and neither of us liked it). On the plane ride down, I gave him a copy of WDW for Couples, With or Without Children (a book I'd HIGHLY recommend!!!) and he went through the rides section and highlighted ones he wanted to make sure to ride, while he was ambivalent about most rides/shows.

Other than that, he really had no desire to plan, so I did the rest. Worked out well because he wasn't stressed about me trying to get him involved and I wasn't stressed trying to GET him involved. Occasionally he'd take a peak at my Birnbaum's guide to look at the pictures and would make a remark about this or that that looked neat. We took the same approach with our wedding planning and it worked well for us there also.

 

[ZPT1022]

Good luck Jean, my FH is the same way. He really wanted CBR so we are staying there. His input for restaurants- "That Japanese one where the cut everything up at your table with the huge knives (Teppenyaki)" and "The one inside the aquarium (Coral Reef)" Literally that was his entire input. I have been scouring info from all these different sites and I am always telling him things and he never seems interested. But about a week ago, some of our wedding plans fell through and we thought we were going to have to cancel our trip to be able to keep the wedding on. Come to find out he has been paying attention- he told me he was upset since he was starting to get really excited since every day I was coming to him with some new little piece of information, he thought it was cute (just apparently not his thing). So even though your FH may not want to be involved the way you want him to (mine still isn't), he probably is paying more attention than you realize- he just may surprise you yet. Good luck!!!

Becky