pixie dust request

[bearbear]

Just wanted to pop in and ask you all to keep my husbands grandmother in your thoughts and prayers. Grandpop passed away today and it is going to be a tough next few days. They were married over 60years and I know grandmom is going to take this hard. He passed away on her birthday. We are packing all 4 kids and are heading to maryland on friday for all the services. Not sure what I am going to do with the baby yet, but we all need to be there for grandmom. My DH doesn't show much emotion and has shut down. I just hope that the kids handle school tomorrow ok. this is the first death that they have had to deal with. My DD11 didn't react like I thought she would. She didn't even have a lot of questions. DS9 went about playing his video games. I think it will hit them when we get down there and see grandpop is not at the house. When we would go and visit, he would take the kids to the basement and run the trains with them. He has a beautiful train garden.
I can't believe he is gone. My grandparents passed a long time ago and when I started dating my DH, his grandparents treated my like a granddaughter. So I think I have taken this really hard. My MIL and I are very close and it is killing me that I am not in Maryland with her to support her. I have back to school night tomorrow and I didn't want to take the kids out 2 days of school. Sorry to ramble, but I have kept myself busy all day and now I just needed to get this out. Thank you in advance for listening to my long rant. I am going to try to get some sleep as the baby just fell asleep. I hope he sleeps later than 4am.
Thanks
Cindy

 

[mommy2mrb]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss
Kids react differently to loss than adults, especially if this is their first loss. Just be there for them when they are ready to talk, keep it simple.
I do suggest that you give them info on what to expect at the services, etc so they are prepared. Also talk to their teachers and counselors at school so they are aware of what has happend in case they have problems at school dealing with his death.

I have learned how to deal with this over the past 8 1/2 months after my DH died in January, my DD is 10 1/2. If I can help you in anyway please let me know or PM me.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers over the next few days, remember to take care of yourself too.

Lisa

 

[joyah]

I'm so sorry to hear this and I echo everything Lisa has said. While my boys have lost more than most the last one was my husbands grandmother this past June. My youngest was EXTREMELY close to her I don't think he shead 2 tears I have yet to figure it out.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Calling hours are something I've never pushed on my kids. We are very lucky that our funeral home has a side room with a dvd player that the kids can hang out in. I survive them and the boys are respectful and come in and out of the veiwing room for family to see them but I don't make them stay in that room. Just my way of doing things

 

[morgansmom2000]

Cindy, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[bearbear]

Thank you for the kind words. I am hoping there is a place for my kids to hang during the viewing. I will ask my MIL to see if she can find out today. I did email all the teachers last night. They are all very nice. My DS was a little emotional this am, but I'm not sure if it is just him or because he is upset about grandpop. Only time will tell. Now I think I have laryngitis. Great.

 

[rlovew]

So sorry for your loss- I will be praying for you.

Rebecca

 

[New England Eeyore]

So sorry for your loss. I will keep your family in my prayers.

 

[Lisa]

You and your family are in my thoughts during this difficult time.

 

[lovingthemouse]

I am sending along my prayers that you all will find comfort in one another. It is so sad to lose a loved one but the strength of family and friends is so important - we are here for you!!!!

 

[MazdaUK]

So sorry for your sad loss, and especially for your grandma-in-law.

At the moment its probably just words for the kids - they'll be more upset that you are sad. As others said, its when he's not there and doesn't come back they will understand. Prayers for you all.

 

[party of 3]

oh i am so sorry to read this. my thoughts are with you during this most difficult time. hugs to all of you.

 

[bearbear]

Thank you all. we made it back today. The viewing was difficult for my DH. It is so hard to just watch him try not to show emotion. He didn't want to have the kids see him upset. He didn't want to see Grandpop. I of course went up with the baby. I just wanted to say that he got to see him once. My DD11 had a lot of questions and we asked if she wanted to see him and she said yes.We waited until it was almost time to leave and we took her up. It was my MIL, grandmom and myself. we all held hands and talked her through it. She did great. I'm glad we gave her the choice. The church service was beautiful, until the pastor started talking about grandpop dying on grandmom's birthday. That was tough. DH and DBIL held up well. I didn't go to the cemetery. I stayed back with the kids. Glad I did. He was buried with military honors and I would have lost it. Then when we went to leave this morning to come home, Grandmom told the kids not to forget grandpop. That was it. I lost it and cried a bit of the way home. I'm doing much better now.
The transition will be during the holidays.

I'm so glad I can come here and all of you understand.
Thanks
Cindy

 

[joyah]

Cindy
My thoughts we're with you all. I hope that as time goes on there will be an easier road. The holidays will be hard but I'm sure that they will be filled with stories of him and the wonderful times you all shared.
I think that you handled having your DD going up was a perfect choice and one that I'm sure she will remember and will help her though sad times