Parents-only trip...guilt!?!?

[lindaso]

DH and I are seriously considering a long weekend away for our 9th anniversary in October. His parents have agreed to watch our kids. In October, our kids will be 7, 4 1/2 & 2. We've never done more than 1 night away.

We've been talking about going to Vegas for this trip. We've never been and we've always wanted to go. BUT...now that we're planning another WDW trip for April of 2005, I'm thinking we should do a couple-only trip to the World for October. Our last 2 trips down, I dreamed about us going on whatever rides we wanted, eating quiet meals, going to DTD, etc...just having some freedom in WDW!! It's always such a compromise. We even brought his parents last trip but we didn't get one night alone!!! FIL got sick and then 2 of my kids got sick so it just didn't happen. I spent part of my anniversary night watching fireworks on the Poly beach ALONE...DH in the room watching baseball with a pukey kid, his parents enjoying the fireworks on Main Street...ugh!!!

Anyway, he won't even consider going to WDW without the kids. Says he'd feel too guilty.

So...for those that have done it, do you feel guilt the entire time? Do your kids get over it? I mean, we are taking them back next April. Or should we go to Vegas and enjoy something new? Any and all feedback appreciated!!

 

[buzz'smom2]

DH and I did this for our 10 year anniversary. We had a great time. We did not tell the kids we were going to WDW. We just said we were going to Florida. (We encourage them not to "brag" that they are going to WDW to their friends, so not "bragging" to them about our trip seemed natural to us.) We have talked about our trip with them on subsequent trips to WDW as a family. They seem to think it is cool that we went to WDW by ourselves.

I have to admit that we had a few brief moments of missing the kids during our trip. (Not guilt--just moments we would have liked to have shared.) We got over it very quickly, as we realized the fun of doing what we wanted when we wanted. It is the only time we have ever been to PI. Also, as other parents were dealing with a temper tantrum or carrying a tired kid, we would giggle. (I know that sounds awful, but it felt so liberating to be there with no responsibility. We were giggling at our freedom--not the parent or kids. Okay, maybe a few of those giggles were directed at my parents who were watching our kids and undoubtedly dealing with some of the same issues!)

We have also been to trips to Vegas as a couple. We prefer Vegas as a crowd--i.e. with at least one other couple. For us, WDW is just more romantic and relaxing.

Where ever you go, I suspect you will have a great time.

 

[MELSMICE]

We went without our DD's for the first time this past October. I thought I would feel terrible guilt, but to be honest, I didn't!!

We had a wonderful time. I missed my kids but I really enjoyed spending time with my DH doing some adult things. We went to some nice dinners, he went golfing, I relaxed by the pool & read a book in silence, we went on the Keys to the Kingdom tour. I did promise my DD's I would ride Mission: Space & tell them what it was like, so as soon as I got off of it I made a phone call to them.

When we took them back in Nov. we showed them what room we stayed in at the BW & they thought it was "neat" to see.

I say go & have a good time at Disney with your DH if he'll do it. I had always said I would never go without my kids, but now that I have done it I know we'll do it again. It is a whole different experience. It's almost like being somewhere new because you get to experience things that you don't when you have your kids in tow.

I hope you get the opportunity to experience WDW on an adults only trip!

 

[Lollipop Mom]

We're actually thinking of doing this too for our October anniversary this year! Our kids will be 4½ and 2½ and we've never done more than a night away from them either (only exception being me being away for a few nights in the hospital after DS#2 was born but that was hardly a vacation! ). We have APs this year and live within an easy drive so WDW is actually a less expensive option than many of our other choices. DH is worried about feeling guilty too. I just remind him of how happy he was on our last trip when the kids fell asleep in the stroller so we had the chance to leave them with my parents while they ate lunch and we got to actually ride ToT and RnR TOGETHER rather than doing a baby swap!

Our friends think we are nuts saying that Disney would be an inexpensive option for us but when park tickets are already paid for, we can drive there and (hopefully!) get an AP rate on a room, it's more affordable than any of the other options we've considered!

 

[marv]

My eldest dd has been abit of a hand full over the last year especially at school. Last June we planned a trip to Alton Towers here in uk, our little amusement park! After alot of problems at school we decided to teach her a lesson and she spent the weekend at her grand parents and didn't come with us.

I felt guilt,sadness, missed her so much i endeed up crying in my cornflakes the first morning of the trip. My Dh was nearly in tears as we left her at grand parents.
I know it's a different situation to yours, your children havn't misbehaved, and the choice not to take them is that you would like some quality time together.
We have a forthcoming trip to Disney World to look forward too, and have threatened in past not to take her. I really couldn't imagine what it would be like there with out her, and wouldn't dream of leaving her behind. Weve been there done that and don't wish to do it again. I really dont fancy crying in my GRITS every morning!

 

[christinadei]

I would do it. I think that you need to convince yourselves before you go that it's okay for you two to enjoy your anniversary without feeling guilty. It would be great fun! I know that we went to Wild Adventures alone (me and DH) and I kept thinking, dang, I wish DS were here. We took DS3 back and he had a great time and I honestly had a better time with him. I think Disney would be a lot different though and that as long as you can get past the guilt before you go, it will be a nice relaxing time. Besides, you will be going back a few months later. You are entitled to a great anniversary, so go for it

 

[BelleNJ]

You should go for it! DH and I did it this past November without our 18 month DD. It was our anniversary of our Disney Wedding and we stayed at the same resort. I thought I would feel really bad, but once we got going at the airport and I got into the groove everything went really well. We enjoyed nights at Epcot and sleeping in late and having breakfast at the resort before heading off to the parks. We did get caught up in our typical Disney "lets do everything" mode. We told each other we had to slow down and enjoy this time, but how can I be expected not to ride TOT three times in a row with no wait. Please!
Enjoy yourself...you deserve it and there will be other trips with the kids in the future.

 

[Chess]

We've done it twice without the kids. I say do it. It is nice to do the parks on your own pace, get on the rides you want to and eat at a nice restaraunt. Now we did have a few moments where we were like wouldn't it be nice if the kids were here to see this but knowing we were bringing them back within i few months made it feel okay. We also did the behind the scenes tour (something we would not have been able to do with kids actually we were at the park from 8am that morning until 1am). It was neat seeing the park empty in the morning before the tour and empty again at night when e-night was ending. Of course we do bring them back a nice gift that they want.

I also agree with buzz-smom2 that it was nice to see other kids having melt downs and know you didn't have to deal with it and also that your kids are not the only ones that act out. It made me feel as if my parenting skills were okay.

 

[AreWeThereYet]

We moved from California to Georgia in 93. The first time we made a trip to WDW it was just my wife and I for our anniversary. It was a great trip and we did not feel guilty at all leaving the kids behind. It was a good time for us to get recommected and it allowed us to find some things we liked to do that we could share with the kids when we took them.

We came back refreshed and reenergized and reconnected - and feel that the time we took for ourselves was well worth it.

Go for it and think about the benefits for your marriage and your parenting when you get back!!

 

[crystalrp]

DH and I did that a few years ago. It was the first time we had ever taken a trip alone...even after 15 years of marriage! We ended up bringing more stuff home to the kids than they would have gotten if they had been with us!!

 

[HeatherC]

Hi - We're actually doing this in May for a week. My kids are 7, 5 and 3 and have no problem with it. Really. We were all just there in November and will probably go back next year with the kids.

But...we try to take a week's vacation once a year for just mommy and daddy. My dh gets 4 weeks and we always use 3 for family time. Last year we did a Celebrity Cruise and the kids handled it great. We are also very lucky because both grandma's and grandpa are very helpful. They actually come to our house...split the week between them and basically spoil the kids silly. So the kids still keep their schedule and are in their own home.

The kids will also be in school for the week and between that and gymnastics, toddler time, etc., the week will go fast.

Yes...I'll feel a little guilty, I'm sure. But....I say go and have a ball!!!

Heather C

 

[Kmygrl73]

I personally would go to Vegas. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 10 month old and we always go to WDW every year, sometimes twice a year. I love sharing the experience with my 2 1/2 yr old because she loves Disney so much. I know I would feel really guilty without them. I had to go to Vegas in November by myself because a family member was getting married. I missed my husband and kids and wished they could have been there. But mostly, I want to go back to Vegas to experience it with my husband and I know it wouldn't be very fun there with 2 small kids. So, I think if you and your husband can go away alone without the kids, I would definitely choose Vegas. You won't feel like the kids are missing out on anything. I am sure you will be going to WDW many more times with the kids and I know that personally I would miss they way too much if I was at WDW without them. Thanks for letting me share my opinions.

Kim

 

[4DisneyfansinNC]

On my last trip, I went with a girlfriend and we left the DH's and kids at home. It was her first trip, so we went to MK first as that is what she wanted. That was the hardest day. Just seeing all the things I know the kids would love. The guilt really set in big time that day. Then the other 2 days we were there, we made sure to do things that were more grown up, lol. Visiting the countries in Epcot and actually looking at the stuff as opposed to just walking in, finding the KidCot stop and on to the next.
Enjoy your trip!

 

[lindaso]

Thank you everyone for your opinions and advice. DH and I sat down this weekend to figure out where to go...believe it or not, money-wise it worked out to be within $200 of each other if you factor in a certain amount of gambling money per day to lose. Anyway, we decided to go to Vegas this October and go to Disney alone for our 10 year anniversary in October of 2005.

I figure that by 2005, our youngest will be 3 and we'll have 2 in school full time so maybe we can get away for 4 nights instead of 3 which means one more day at Disney for me!!

Getting away anywhere will be great. I know I'll be stressed and nervous but hey, by October it will be 7 years since we've been a couple alone!!

 

[Arielle22]

My dh and I went on an adult only trip with 5 other adults in Nov '00. My dd's were 5 and 7 at the time. We explained to them that it would be adults only and that my sister and bil would be staying with them at my home. My dd's thought that would be great fun and had no problem with it.

Turns out one of my other sisters took my dd's in August '00 so we had nothing to feel guilty about. However I did keep checking for them as we were in the parks. It is a hard habit to break, making sure the littles ones are with you.

We had a great time and plan on a Disney Cruise with just dh and I in 11/05 for our 20th anniversary.