Parenting tips for a good trip?

[hsmamato2]

Hi- this is inspired by the" I was shocked" thread...I've been to WDW many times, been shocked many times by bad behavior(parents and kids alike) and probably shocked some others when my own kids acted up sometimes...
So i thought I'd start one where we share our best tips that we've learned for situations like this- big vacation- LOTS of stimulation- way overcrowded schedules- too much family togetherness... here goes...
I've learned to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n- my littlest is 6- this year he decided no strollers,at all. We were in orlando for 2 weeks, spent about 5 days doing Disney,and 5 days Universal-
When we hit a park, it'd be about a 10 hour day. Now,how's that slow? you may ask- well, he's 6, so walking fast was out stopping to see every little detail was in but in the process, we saw all kinds of fun little details we might not have seen otherwise. we stopped and rested when we were tired, got a snack when we were hungry,and most important of all, Mom stopped for her 2 p.m. coffee and feet up on a bench time every park day!this was a nice time for all of us to lounge in the shade and discus our fave moments of the day- So you can see how these days lasted about 10 hours, but we didn't rush to anything- that couldn't work with a small one walking,*everywhere*.
In between each big park day- we'd take a day off, play by the pool, order food in, or make a picnic, no lines, no sitting still and waiting for waitresses, lots of wandering fun time and just chilling out.
your own schedule may not be that flexible, but I've learned over the years to enjoy the moments more- do what your family wants-not what a book says...
***disclaimer***OP still has some unmagical moments at the parks, with either kids or parents melting down,and perhaps shocking others...still working on perfection...

 

[lorik]

My kids are 9 and 14. When we were planning our latest trip this past August I laid out the rules and discussed the plans for touring with them so they would know what to expect.For example, they knew what parks we were going to each day, where we would be eating, expected wake up times (they are usually very late sleepers), which rides we will and will not be going on, and the possibility that everything can change based on ride rehabs, weather etc. My kids, esp DS,14, do not do well with change. However, they were well prepared for the parks and there were no behavior issues the entire trip.

 

[traviesojmt]

Our family goes with the idea that it is more important that we enjoy what we see rather than if we see it all. We try to save for longer trips too. We went for 12 days last summer. It made for a very laid back vacation. We had two days that we spent a morning at the water park and then took the rest of the day "off" from the parks. We played miniature golf or just hung out at the pool. Since we went in the middle of the summer, we also took a couple of hours away from the park in the heat of the afternoon. I realize that it is not feasible for everyone to take long vacations, but I still think that you should not be worried about "seeing it all". Also, my DS8 had a blast looking for Hidden Mickey's. We bought the book and spent a couple of afternoons going to different resorts looking for hidden mickey's. I'm sure we looked funny to some since we would all be staring at something for several minutes trying to find the Hidden Mickey. My DS8 can't wait until we go back this summer and he can find more.
I know that it is vacation, but I would suggest not straying too much from your kids schedule. If they are use to eating or sleeping at certain times, take that into account. We have agreed that when someone needs a break, we take it. If my DD3 has had enough, either my DH or I will take a break with her while the other continues with DS8.
Last tip: Listen to your kids, regardless of age. If they don't want to ride ToT or any other ride, Don't make them if they are truly scared of a certain ride. You may get lucky and they end up liking it in the end, but often times, it just stresses them out for the rest of the day. Just relax and have FUN. When meltdown happens (happens at home so why not at Disney), remember: this too shall pass.

 

[pezpam]

I think that staying well within DD's tolerances is what's made our trips so easy and that it's a great tip.

We started going when she was 5 - thought it would be our only trip (hah!) but decided ahead of time that we couldn't see everything even if we were both rocket-powered, so I went at her pace and stuck with a schedule she could handle happily. That trip was so great and so easy that we've been back several times and are hoping for more. Did we do everything? No. Did we have a magical trip? Yuppers!!

 

[°O°Joe]

I think you have the right idea OP... most of us on this board visit WDW fairly often - so for us to "slow down" and not really worry about hitting every attraction is easier to do.

Where I think people get in trouble is when the visit to WDW is looked at as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and feel that they need to take it ALL in so as not to miss a single thing... then when things start to go wrong (tired kids, ride malfunctions, bad weather, etc...) they get all upset. And more times then not, when one member of the family is unhappy, it brings everybody down...

My biggest tip for WDW with kids, especially younger children (mine are 5 and 2), take lots of breaks... Maybe set a limit of 8-10 hours in the parks on any given day. Take a day off every third or fourth day and relax - go to the beach, whatever... Couples w/out children or w/older children may get away with the "Commando" style approach, but I can't see how it would work with younger children...

--Joe

 

[bamagirl@hrt]

I've been thinking, too, since the "Shocked" thread. My kids, DD8 & DS4-1/2, have always gotten along beautifully. Until recently. They don't fight, as in screaming, hitting, etc... They just bicker. The older one gets bossy. The younger one is pesky. And they feed off of each other & argue until they're blue in the face. That or I send them to separate corners.

Our past trips to WDW have been sheer bliss. We all have had a wonderful time each time we've gone. I don't want this time to be different. So, I've sat each child down separately (and then together) to talk about our behavior and how it affects the whole family. I asked each child what the other does that is annoying & then we discussed eliminating that behavior. I told them both that going to WDW is a special treat. Many children never get to go and this will be their 3rd trip. We talk about our trip daily, so they know the things we plan to do. I told them that if they act ugly to each other, we won't be able to do all of the things we want to, because I'll have to put them each in time out.

Our trip is just over 5 months from now. I told them that I want them to start practicing this nice behavior to each other now, so that it won't be so hard when we go on vacation.

It all sounds pretty good in theory. We'll see how it actually plays out!

 

[jennyl772003]

We always make sure that DS knows that this vacation is not all about HIM. We will do things that he wants to do, but he does not control the trip.

 

[traviesojmt]

We always make sure that DS knows that this vacation is not all about HIM. We will do things that he wants to do, but he does not control the trip.

Excellent tip. With the differences in our kids ages, DS8 and DD3, we always stress to them that it is a FAMILY vacation. My DS8 is going to have to endure the Princess Character Breakfast and DD3 will have to be patient while DS gets to pick things that he will enjoy too. We tell them that everyone in the family gets to do things that they will enjoy and we will all be patient and let that happen.

 

[Sweedee]

My kiddos are 12 and 14. They had absolutely NO responsibilities at all when we were at Disney. We didn't make them carry anything, we didn't let them hold anything (cause if something got lost, I didn't want them shouldering the guilt), and we let them set the pace. This trip wasn't ALL about them, but it was set up to be the most fun for them. They knew ahead of time which park we were going to, they knew how much money they had, and they knew where we were stopping for lunch. Since most of the non-variables were taken care of ahead of time, they were better able to deal with...longer lines, closed rides, rides that stopped, etc. I mean, c'mon...who doesn't enjoy sitting at the top of the Kali River Rapids ride for *15 mins* in the glaring sunshine with 4 boats bumping you toward the rapids! (Was anyone else there on Feb 15, around 1ish to enjoy the same fun ride???? ) I think much of the good parenting at Disney is preparation of kiddos, and taking into consideration your own child's temperament and abilities.

 

[Tink-n-Belle]

I have a DD8 & DD5.5 and they too get along really good, but have started to bicker recently too. For punishment, I don't let them play together for a few hours. It seems to work (at least for now).

My kids are pretty easy going and I decided to encourage good behavior now and prepare for our next trip. I am having them earn "Disney Dollars" for there good behavior. So if they help with the dishes, get ready for school by themselves etc I am going to give them 1 Disney Dollar a day. If they do something really bad they have to give ME 1 Disney Dollar. My oldest earned 2 but she didn't do her homework on time and I made her give 1 back to me. So far so good. We are traveling with friends and they are going to do this for there kids too. The kids are really excited because they can use them to buy anything they want. Since its 6 months to our trip they can earned some good money---

And I agree about slowing it down when you are at Disney. I used to be the commando type, but this last trip I just went with the flow. The 3rd day we rented a stroller, because we were at Epcot and they were getting tired by then. My kids are thrill seekers so we have a lot of fun riding all the thrill rides but they also appreciate the shows too. We also have a great time with the kids. But the most important thing is to take breaks and make sure that they get enough sleep.

 

[magicmirror]

We always try to something special with each child, separately, but also remind them this is a "family vacation", and most things we do together. Each has different interests so we always try to include some of them. Our 3 children range in age from 15 to 4. My best advice would be lots of patience, and rest. We also try to eat before they are starving (not literally starving ). All of mine get cranky when hungry or tired, even the 15 year old. Also I know children (especially young ones) sometimes react negatively to excessive excitement. Like its system overload or something. I just believe in pacing ourselves, and keeping their bedtimes as close to normal as possible. If one of us isn't having a good time, it spoils it for everyone else.
If all else fails, I will threaten to snatch a knot in their tails. only kidding.

 

[mikymouse]

Build Flexibility into your plan. I had Plan A, B and C.

Plan A was MY plan (Pefectly Planned with LOTS of fun stuff that no one but me knew).
Plan B was the Kids plan (limited walking & lines,plenty of downtime, favorite rides)
Plan C was DH plan (Pool Bar Time, Sit Down Meals, Parent's Night Out)

Plus Mommy's WDW Vacation Rules
1.) Use your Manners this is a grown up vacation and you must act like grownups
2.) Stay with Mom & Dad
3.) Have Fun
These were mine but you can make up your own... the kids almost always shapped up when I asked them the "Vacation Rules".

Well we never do Plan A but most vacations it's is a little bit of something for everyone and it works well. So I think planning is critical for a First Time to WDW, since you don't know what it is like or how everyone will respond. So I would recommend an flexible plan for each family and then don't worry about how it really goes on the trip just go with the flow and have your family help pick the stuff they really want to experience or you know they will love.

 

[hsmamato2]

Wow! Awesome ideas- it seems like a key element is helping prepare our kids for what to expect,and what NOT to expect- b/c if it's even going to resemble those families in the planning video the kids have to plan for things too!
I especially like the reminder to not force a kid of any age to ride something they don't wan to ride on- I have been guilty of this in the past
but I'm trying to stop myself...

 

[akalittleeva]

My kiddos are 12 and 14. They had absolutely NO responsibilities at all when we were at Disney. We didn't make them carry anything, we didn't let them hold anything (cause if something got lost, I didn't want them shouldering the guilt), and we let them set the pace. This trip wasn't ALL about them, but it was set up to be the most fun for them. They knew ahead of time which park we were going to, they knew how much money they had, and they knew where we were stopping for lunch. Since most of the non-variables were taken care of ahead of time, they were better able to deal with...longer lines, closed rides, rides that stopped, etc. I mean, c'mon...who doesn't enjoy sitting at the top of the Kali River Rapids ride for *15 mins* in the glaring sunshine with 4 boats bumping you toward the rapids! (Was anyone else there on Feb 15, around 1ish to enjoy the same fun ride???? ) I think much of the good parenting at Disney is preparation of kiddos, and taking into consideration your own child's temperament and abilities.

I am taking the same approach with my 2 (8yo dd & 10yo ds) this Fall. They have chores and responsibilities at home and this is meant to be a vacation for us all. We are planning together as a family to make sure we all get something out of it and everyone will have an understanding of what to expect and help problem solve when need be...hopefully not to much...the planning has been a great learning process for them using research skills, reading, writing and math, not to mention having to think of the needs/wants of the rest of the family. It has been fun, too. Each of us are planning our "ideal day" at each park and then coming together to make a working plan that will make everyone happy - so far so good...we'll see how it goes.

 

[Boncho]

When we do to WDW it is my sister, my son (10) and myself. We relax and never rush doing anything, we eat when we are hungry, drink when we are thirsty and relax when one of us is tired. All three of us decide what we are going to to together and make sure we take turns doing what each of us wants to do. I have found that including my son in the decision process and taking everything slow and relaxed makes for a much happier vacation.

 

[slk537]

We stumbled on to one of my favorite ways to battle the "I wants" on our last trip. It was DS's 4th birthday on one of the last two days and that is how we inadvertantly discovered how well this worked with him:

We gave him some Disney dollars in the months leading up to the trip for potty training and good listening at daycare - he earned $1 for each good report. We told him he could buy absolutely anything he wanted at the end of the trip with his money.

We also told him he could pick out any birthday present he wanted and we would buy it on his birthday (again - the second to last day). We picked up a really inexpensive toy at the outlet at the beginning of the week, so he had something new and "WDW" to play with back in the room. It was GREAT! Everytime he saw anything he wanted, it was "I'm going to put that on my list!" instead of "I want...can I have?"

He ended up picking out a $20 Buzz watch with interchangeable bands for his birthday, and a bag full of orange taffy with his own money. We were left to get him anything else at our discretion and instead of meltdowns when we would say "no" to all the things that caught his eye throughout the week, we could say "put it on your list and maybe you'll pick it."

The beauty? It worked when we got home for Christmas too!

He's already earned D$$ for our trip next week, and we'll let him pick out one toy at the end. Add that to non commando park touring and we hope to have a happy boy again.

Now...anyone have advice for PARENT meltdowns?!?!?

 

[Hannathy]

FOOD! Disney is not the place to turn into the nutrition police. I do not want to hear your child screaming when you insist he eat cooked carrots, green beans, you name it while everyone else has fries, or doesn't want to drink milk when it is 95 and lemonade sounds so much better.. Relax unless your child has a medical condition it is vacation have fun. No child will suffer if they eat chicken nuggetts every meal for a week. My nephew once ate popcorn everyday for lunch for a week. He lived and grew up fine. I can't afford a mickey bar 5x a day but once or twice a trip it is a nice treat and no, granola bars from home don't cut it everytime.
Listen to your kids, if they are hungry, thirsty, tired, scared, deal with it.
Talk to your kids, explain what and why kids can deal with being hungry if they know why they can't get a hot dog now-because we have lunch reservations in 10 minutes where you want to eat.
Give them some choices, we can wait for 30 minutes for this ride now or get a fast pass go ride x and come back or wait in line.
Don't ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to ! If you don't want to go back to the room don't say if you are that tired we'll go to the room and then be upset when they say ok.
Be the adult!
Have Fun.

 

[littleladykaty]

I agree that sticking to a normal-ish routine is key. The same expectations should be in place in terms of behavior, manners, how many "sugar" snacks are allowed (my soon2Bstepkids big issue) etc. I t hink a lot of parents don't want to be a drag on vacation so every "Mommy can I have..." is given in to, but honestly that only makes for a rough vacation...after four days of "Mommy can I have..." and mommy responds with "NO! I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT AGAIN!!!" Hellooooo Meltdown!!

I can tell y'all what worked with my new family!

Our kiddos are on a "behavior plan" that stays in place no matter where we go. There are three rules:

1. Be Kind
2. Be Respectful
3. Be Responsible

basically every single behavior out there falls under one of these three rules. For every set amount of time they "earn" three marbles for each rule if they managed to follow it. (they also earn an "extra" marble for having nice table manners!) (of course you can use anything...stickers, slips of paper in a plastic bag...whatever gives them a tangible account of their progress) We DO NOT ever stray from the one marble for each rule! DD7 trys every single time "I think I should get an extra marble for being nice to DS4" We do not give marbles for doing things they should do anyway and that falls under "being kind". Giving extra marbles just jacks up the system. After they get a certain # of marbles in their bucket they earn a reward. (We have a list for them to choose from that can change within reason, nothing over $5.00) This totally eliminated the "Daddy can I have..." that was constantly happening every time we went out. If it even starts we respond with "That would be a good thing to earn for next time" Initially we did "marbles" a few times throughout the day to get them used to the system and excited about earning marbles. Now we are down to Morning Marbles and Evening Marbles. (there is also a community bucket in which they earn marbles for joint "fun thing" so if they earn their three marbles 2 go into the communit "fun jar" and 1 goes into their individual bucket...the manners marble can go into the individual bucket if it is earned!) But the community bucket can be forgone for WDW...

This plan can so totally work at WDW...if they can behavior appropriately they can pick out a special something from a loose list of previously chosen items (which eliminates too many choices and meltdown danger) at the END of the day. When the kids know before hand what to expect, when to expect it and what is expected of them, there is a lot less stress on them AND the parents. There need to be allowances made for crankiness that takes place in very hot weather with very tired feet.(such as, "It doesn't sound like you are being very respectful...let's remember what we are trying to earn" but only a very few allowances should be made as they will soon figure out if you are seriously going to make them stick to the rules and possibly NOT let them get something if they don't stop the fresh mouth!) But all in all this plan has done WONDERS for extremely over indulged children. We are talking massively over the top rediculously over indulged. This plan put all the power in their hands and when DS4 was only barely 3 he grasped the concept and could remember all the rules. DD7 is great on this plan and it has eliminated a lot the anxiety that is often presented with too much stimuli and the anxiety of "CAN I HAVE..." You can have when you earn!

A lot of "I really appreciate how respectful you are being DD7, thank you" does lots to remind them of their rules and what they are earning and it just plain makes them feel good to be acknowledged in that way. I'll also mention that DS4 has ADD issues...and this has really helped him as well. Lots of praise and very deep breaths and WDW will be a success.

Anyhow, this is the plan that changed our lives quite literally...I was struggling with the idea of being a step mom to kids who had every wish they ever had granted. I wasn't raised that way I couldn't stand it. They are much calmer happier munchkins now! hope this helps!!

 

[Belle1111]

We always plan a day in the middle of the trip that we do not go to the parks. It's a day to sleep in, spend the day at the pools, I do laundry, etc. The kids love it and I get to lay by a pool and sip a cool drink most of the day!

It's good for everyone!

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

Remember that no matter how much you are spending on the vacation, it was your choice to do so. Don't burden a kid with "I am spending X$ on this trip and you better enjoy it!" or words to that effect.

No matter how much I love the parks, DS would much prefer to spend his days at the pool, gameroom and watching cable TV (we don't have any of those things at home). Once I accepted that, we have had great times together. I keep his preferences in mind, and let him know that I expect that we will do certain things together. These things are discussed and agreed to in advance.

As far as spending $$ is concerned, we give a daily allowance. It is supplemented with other money DS may have to bring on the trip. We hand it out at the start of each day--along with whatever amount DS asks for from "his" $$. When it is gone, it is gone. If DS wants something and he is out of $$, we tell him to keep it in mind for the next day. Shopping day is at the end of the trip and we usually buy him a souvenier and clothing item of his choice.