OT: WWYD with ugly gift?

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Okay, what would you do if your well meaning, fashion conscious friend gave you a gift that you thought was just totally ugly, but expensive?

Here's my dilemma...a friend of mine recently gave me a Vera Bradley satchel bag for a diaper bag. She is VERY into these bags and I know it was not a $20 purchase (because I checked online). Anyhoo...I think she mistook my complimenting her own bags as meaning that I myself must like them. To be honest, I know that her bags are very important to her, so I comment on them to make her feel good. Personally, I hate them...I think they look like blankets with a strap on them. I can't possibly tell her that though because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I'll never use the bag, I'd hate to see it sit in my closet. If it saves feelings, I'd use it when she's around. What would you do?

 

[ilovejack02]

LOL blankets with a strap. ... Honestly I might would try and return it if you know where she got it. Just tell her that it was too big, or two small or not enough pockets etc.
If that would hurt her feelings to much then just use it when she is around, but you might run the risk of her giving you more Vera bags.

 

[mom2alix]

You might also save her feelings by exchanging it for a similar, yet less "blankety" model. Vera Bradley makes a backpack in solid colors that makes a really nice diaper bag/purse (I have one in red and I've seen black as well as other colors). I think the solid color difuses some of that "blanket" look and it hangs on the back of a stroller really well because of the backpack straps. Good luck!!

 

[designermv]

Sell it on eBay?

I agree with mom2alix--VB has a very nice, understated black microfiber collection. You would never guess it is Vera Bradley! Maybe you could exchange it for something from that line. If your friend asks, just tell her you wanted a more versatile fabric--VB patterns are so "patterny," and black goes with almost everything.

Good luck!

 

[Minnie824]

You could exchange it and blame your DH saying he wouldn't carry the diaper bag with the pattern, etc. I know what you mean, I have a friend who loves Vera Bradley stuff too, and I can't stand the stuff.

 

[trulygoofy]

I personally would keep it. She was probably very happy to pick this out for you especially if she likes Vera Bradley bags. I would not want to hurt my friends feelings over a diaper bag. I would probably use it when she was going to be around or keep it in my car with extra diapers and baby stuff. Friends are worth carrying around an ugly bag and it will be good practice for when your baby gets older and expects you to use the ugly whatever they just bought/made for you!

 

[girlsx4]

Oh no! I have no idea what I'd do in that situation. I personally think those bags are ugly(just my opinion of course..I know a lot of people love them) They look like something my grandma would carry. I would probably just use it as an extra bag or when you know you will see her

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Yup, I admit that my first thought was to sell it on Ebay, but then my luck she'd ask where it was sometime later and I'd be in a bind...not worth it.

BTDT with the kids bringing home the ugly stuff...two of mine are teens so I think I'm safe now...for the moment...I hope! Somehow its different carrying around something your kid made for you though-I was never embarrassed...totally proud...even if my kids did make some rather hideous things through the years.

I'm for whatever makes a person happy...I mean, my friend thinks these VB bags are the hottest thing. They make her feel like a million bucks, so good for her-I'm glad she has something that gives her pleasure. But I guess maybe I was a bit too free with the compliments. (Kicking myself now).

Girlsx4: Yes, the thought did occur to me that the bag looks like something my grandma would carry (if she were still around)...and I'd fully expect to see yarn and knitting needles sticking out of it. The bag is this blue peacock print-no way in heck my DH would be caught with it, but then I am the usual bearer of all things child related.

If it were a cheap item, I would not feel bad about the fact that it is going to go unused for the most part, but I just can't help feeling bad because it was a pricier gift than she would normally give and I know there are a lot of gals out there who just love the bag (too bad I'm not one of them). For it to sit there seems such a waste and I'm not sure if she'd be insulted if I did a trade in on it. I peeked at the microfiber bags and stuff, but none of it really is my thing. Although I did think of getting maybe the black microfiber backpack and letting my DD use it...would that be bad of me? (Of course I would not let her see DD using it).

 

[design_mom]

My sister has that blue/brown VB diaper bag and she thinks it's "all that." She was so excited when her DH agreed that she could buy it and I couldn't wait to see it. I thought for sure it must be fabulous. But I agree with you -- yuck. (Mentally thinking back to remember what I said about it and hoping I didn't imply that I want one, too!)

I'm torn. Realistically, I think your friend would want you to have something you like not an expensive closet-filler. But, she would probably be hurt (maybe angry) that you *don't* like what she picked and have been giving empty-compliments about her bag (although I totally understand why you did!) And, whatever the gift, it was very sweet of her to mark the occassion. I was surprised sometimes at who did and who did not give gifts when we adopted.

So -- my head says exchange it... but my heart says keep it, take exceptional care of it, then sell it as "like new" on eBay as soon as you get out of the diaper bag stage.

 

[mericletwins]

Maybe you could use it as the back up bag? keep it in the car for extra clothes/diapers etc. Trot it out once in awhile when the friend is around.

 

[bluejaygirl]

You have my sympathy!!

i always think they are Granny bags too, I just "dont get" why people are so crazy over them, even college age girls.

 

[DVCLiz]

Pack the Vera bag with diapers, wipes, a bottle or two, etc. and put it in your closaet. Use another bag for "everyday" and tell your friend you are using the Vera bag when it's a nicer occasion. You know how beat up a regular diaper bag can get - tell her you don't want to ruin it by schlepping it around on the back of your stroller, and that you will use it for travel and nicer visits somewhere. Do it a couple of times so she sees you using it. Then forget about it until your kid is out of diapers, and sell it on Ebay or regift it to someone you know will like it.

I wouldn't hurt a friend's feelings about this - and as DISers always remind each other when someone is complaining about a gift (usually because someone has cheaped out) it's the thought that counts. That should work the other way, too - when the gift is more expensive than it should be.

Jst cope and be nice about it and you'll be glad you won't have to feel bad about it every time you see your friend twenty years from now.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

You could exchange it and blame your DH saying he wouldn't carry the diaper bag with the pattern, etc. I know what you mean, I have a friend who loves Vera Bradley stuff too, and I can't stand the stuff.

I was going to say this as well. When we were in the diaper bag stage, I would carry the baby and DH would carry the bag. He said no way to anything pink or anything that had bears, ducks, flowers, etc. We got a nice navy blue diaper bag from Land's End and everyone was happy.

Although he almost never went anywhere alone with the kids when they were babies, we used the same bag when they were toddlers for snacks and extra clothes. The navy was great for him to carry and also easy to keep looking nice.

If you can exchange it, maybe get the plain bag if you like it. If you can't exchange it, I like the idea of using it as a backup - just keep it in your car.

 

[Aristomommy]

If it was me, I would put the bag away for a while. I would buy the bag I like and if friend asks about it, I'd say "I'm using this one today because...it's smaller...more gender neutral for DH....or whatever is different about it". When your baby is older and you no longer carry so much with you, sell the bag on ebay. It's not worth it right now to hurt your friend's feelings. She likes the bag and thought you would too. I have friends that wouldn't care if I took the gift back and include a gift receipt. Others would be very upset and I'd rather have the ugly whatever than hurt their feelings.

 

[dougsmom98]

I like the idea of keeping it in the car with extra supplies. It's just a bag. I am amazed at the ugly stuff I carry around with four kids - I am always filling any old bag I can find to have stuff just in case I need it. Fill it with baby toys and books to have in a pinch, or use it as the bag you take to story hour at the library and put the books in.

 

[trulygoofy]

If you recommend the Dis Family Board to her just remember to never tell her your user name! She might run across this thread and you'll be busted.

The waiting until you're out of the diaper bag stage and then parting with it was a great idea, but then you might get sucked in and start actually liking them.

 

[Mrsduck101]

I'm cracking up because I just bought a peacock Vera Bradley bag for myself and I love Vera Bradley bags
I'm 31, so not even a grandma

(No offense taken by any comments, we all have our own tastes)

I say keep it in the car with extra supplies. It will still sell well on ebay gently used and you'll always have extra supplies in the car

 

[LuvOrlando]

I personally would keep it. She was probably very happy to pick this out for you especially if she likes Vera Bradley bags. I would not want to hurt my friends feelings over a diaper bag. I would probably use it when she was going to be around or keep it in my car with extra diapers and baby stuff. Friends are worth carrying around an ugly bag and it will be good practice for when your baby gets older and expects you to use the ugly whatever they just bought/made for you!

I agree

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I'm cracking up because I just bought a peacock Vera Bradley bag for myself and I love Vera Bradley bags
I'm 31, so not even a grandma

(No offense taken by any comments, we all have our own tastes)

I say keep it in the car with extra supplies. It will still sell well on ebay gently used and you'll always have extra supplies in the car

I'm glad you weren't offended because my intent was not to insult anyone who likes those bags. Like you said, we all have our own tastes and I'm sure there is plenty I have that somebody else may say "ICK!" to. LOL! What is that saying...one man's trash is another man's treasure? So true.

Anyhoo...I guess the right thing to do is just for me to hang on to it and use it in her presence. What is funny though is that I don't really compliment her bags so much as her...I've made comments like "look at hot mama with her new bag" and do the obligatory hoot and holler (okay, not really, but you get the idea)...but I guess that was enough to give the impression that I must like them. I don't know...I figure its like somebody just getting engaged and showing you the ugliest engagement ring you've ever seen...it just doesn't seem right to say, OMG...that is sooooo ugly! So what can you really do? Oh well...hopefully DS will be on the potty training trail within the next 6-9 months (I can only hope). Then yes, the bag will be retired to the realm otherwise known as Ebay.

 

[maxtomsmom]

You could exchange it and blame your DH saying he wouldn't carry the diaper bag with the pattern, etc. I know what you mean, I have a friend who loves Vera Bradley stuff too, and I can't stand the stuff.

I was going to say the same thing, blame it on you DH Just be sure to include him in on it.