OT: What's Your Opinion?

[ColleenG]

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there! So I had a pretty nice Mother's Day. DH got bagels for breakfast, got a beautiful flower/plant arangement, and really cute stuff the kids made at school. Those are always the best. Really sweet cards that DH picked up from him and from the kids. BUT at no point did any of the kids nor my DH say "Happy Mother's Day, Mom!" It wasn't till after all the above and I had gotten a shower when DH asked, "What's wrong?" And I told him I was really upset that no one had wished me a Happy Mother's Day. To which he responded, "What are you upset about, they gave you cards." Which don't get me wrong, I appreciate the cards and the gifts, but I would never dream of not saying Happy Mother's Day to my Mom. So am I wrong to be really mad at DH? Of course after I told him he told the kids to go say it, but I shouldn't have to ask!

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Well....I think the intent was there....but yeah my feelings would have probably been hurt a little.

DD (5) woke up this morning and the first thing she said was "It's Mothers Day - Happy Mothers Day mommy"....talk about my heart just melting.

 

[3babyws]

I have friends whose husbands wouldn't do anything for them on Mother's day so I say count yourself lucky and remember the old saying... Actions speak louder than words. Hope you still had a great day anyway!!

 

[taylor3297]

I would be disappointed too. My DH gets the kids to say Happy Mother's Day, kids give handmade cards and pictures (which btw are my favorite) and he buys me an expensive gift. The rest of the day is normal for me. He doesn't do anything different like helping with the kids or handling meals.

 

[mom2meiko]

i would say the thought and intent were there - it's unfortunate that they didn't verbalize it but they definitely paid attention to the fact that it was your day and made effort to show you that they love you. also - kudos to your dh for recognizing that you were upset - so many dh's are oblivious!!!

 

[karen624]

It was probably just an oversight, I can see how you would be hurt, but I would not let it ruin the rest of the day. Be glad you had people to celebrate with you and bring you breakfast. I am sure I am not the only mom on the board who was alone today. I had great big hugs from my two little girls, but my husband is out to sea and I have no family near, so there was not pampering of the mommy today. For me it was a day like any other.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Part of me is saying don't post here, but here I am typing anyway.

I often tell my kids, don't say sorry if you aren't going to show it. Don't tell someone you love them if you aren't going to show it. If I never heard i love you again but felt it, I'd prefer it over the words without the actions. I think you seemed to have a very nice Mother's Day, and the meaning was there just because the words were not. I agree with a PP, many families do nothing for mom. I have a good friend whose husband has never said a word on Mother's Day, she is mom to their 4 kids. I'd say count your blessings and not let this ruin a perfectly lovely day.

Thanks for the good wishes to all the moms, I hope your day in the end was a good one.

 

[eeyoremum]

I would count myself lucky if I got so much. It was a regular day for me. One DS made a card at school. The other through a card together this morning when he "remembered".

DH did nothing. I cooked, cleaned and did laundry like usual he didn't even say anything about Mother's Day until I told him to go see his Mum. The he said let's go. I bought her a gift at the nursery on the way to her house. Came home and cooked dinner.

You are blessed that you have a DH who will make your day special.

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

I say the thought was there and they did say Happy Mother's Day just in words in a card not in words from the mouth.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

To be honest I think you are a bit over the top for being mad. It seems like your dh and kids made a nice effort to celebrate you today. Did they just sit in silence while they did all this? I might joke about it to dh to razz him if they did that but I wouldn't be angry. IMO - and yours might be different- I think that is just ridiculous.

 

[ms_missy66]

Think about it this way...now hubby knows it's important to you to hear those words next year. I'd probably be a little upset, but not mad, especially since they did all of thsoe other things to recognize the day.

Hopefully you've been able to enjoy your day!

 

[ksjayhawkfan]

I would count myself lucky if I got so much. It was a regular day for me. One DS made a card at school. The other through a card together this morning when he "remembered".

DH did nothing. I cooked, cleaned and did laundry like usual he didn't even say anything about Mother's Day until I told him to go see his Mum. The he said let's go. I bought her a gift at the nursery on the way to her house. Came home and cooked dinner.

You are blessed that you have a DH who will make your day special.

Yeah. Me too. I got a magnet that my 4 yr old made at school. And a card from my sister. Thats it.

 

[Minnie]

Sorry, most vents I can atleast "sort" of understand. But this one.... sorry I just don't get it.

Your DH took care of breakfast, got you a nice gift, picked up cards from not only himself but also the kids and your still upset because they didn't say it? Seriously?????

Trust me you are incredibly lucky to have a DH that cared enough to do what he did..... To be upset over this -

 

[ColleenG]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful for what they did do. It was his response when I told him I was upset about no one saying it. It has pretty much happened every year, every birthday. And in his family birthdays are a much bigger deal than they are in my family. For us Mother's Day is a day to be spent with family.

This is one of my biggest problem with him. If I tell him something is bothering me, he tells me I am wrong for feeling that way.

I guess as a kid, and even now I would never dream of the first words out of my mouth to my mother on Mother's Day wouldn't be "Happy Mother's Day."

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I don't think the words are so important. Its the thought that counts.

Now having said that, I was a little surprised that my DH bought me a flashlight for mothers day. About a week ago our power went out, and I complained that we didn't have any good flashlights. So he thought I would be happy to have my own. It was just a strange gift.

I also got homemade gifts that the kids made at school. My 8 year old DS loaded the dishwasher for the first time after breakfast. Those were the best gifts.

 

[mjkacmom]

OMG - don't know if it's a NJ thing, but we had almost the same morning! DH got bagels (at my request), the kids gave the stuff they made at school, and no one said "happy mothers day" (and no one said "happy birthday" in February, no cards or anything), and I told DH that I was upset with him, because I don't blame the kids (BTW, he didn't get me anything from himself or the kids, until I mentioned it - no card). I'm a SAHM to 5 children - please put in a little effort.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Ignoring your birthday (or Mother's day, etc) is a whole different thing. I don't think OP's family ignored her, just didn't speak the words.

 

[lisaj68]

Sorry. I would never dream of handing someone a gift and not saying "Happy Birthday" or "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Anything Else".

"Here you go, here's your gift" doesn't cut it.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I'm ackward about telling people, "Happy ---(fill in your favorite holiday)"

My husband didn't tell me at all but he kept having our son say it over and over. I'm not terribly big into the holiday and actually insisted that they not get me a card. I got a used Cricut for scrapbooking (which I paid for...) but my DH was the one who found it for me for a great price. That was enough for me that he found something he knew I would like. My family makes me feel like it's Mother's Day everyday, so I personally don't need a card or flowers to say thanks.

That being said, I can totally understand why you got upset. It's one thing to hand someone a card and that's it. It's a whole other ballgame to actually emote the sentiment. Sorry it was a bummer to your day.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Sorry. I would never dream of handing someone a gift and not saying "Happy Birthday" or "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Anything Else".

"Here you go, here's your gift" doesn't cut it.

While I agree with that, I just can't see letting it get to you (OP). They didn't ignore her, just celebrated in their own way. I too can't see a situation of me not speaking the words, but they did, and if everything about the day was special but that, I'd say it was still pretty special. Sure, now they know what the words mean to her and hopefully they remember that next year, but really with so many things in the world to worry about, this doesn't seem like one (to me anyway.)