Dear Santa,
Don't bother to bring me your usual gifts,
These days they don't bring me the slightest of lifts.
I'll even pass on the Christmas with snow,
Latest of gadgets and gizmos from Ronco
You can keep all the jewelled bangles and balls,
And even all your Cabbage Patch dolls.
Here's what our family this year places on order,
For delivery when you come over the border.
Please read it and tuck it away up your sleeves,
Then pull it out once again on Christmas Eve.
Give us a shunt that stays connected,
And doesn't even get infected.
May its flow not ever turn sluggish,
Nor it's tubing ever get plug-ssh.
Two kidneys staying healthy,
Would make us feel wealthy.
As a matter of fact,
Make that the whole urinary tract.
Can you make a spine that will stop its curving,
Listen, I tell you, it's really unnerving!
A whole year without a single operation,
Is what we need to feel jubilation.
Please put your elves right to work,
Inventing an IV that don't hurt,
A spinal cord that won't ever tether,
And a wheelchair that's light as a feather.
Can you put to rest all my suspicions,
That our insurance won't cover pre-existing conditions.
And please help our doctors develop an appreciation
For our endless list of question after question.
Another thing I wish for around the clock,
Is a disabled parking space on every block.
And while you're at it, we'd like a vacation away,
That would last for a least a week and a day.
I could go on and on in a similar vein,
With lots of ideas that would take away pain.
But the chime of the clock just make me realize,
That it's time once again to catheterize.
If you think there's entirely too much that we need,
And if it seems to you that we're chock full of greed,
Actually when you get right down to it,
Any one of the above would just about do it!
Don't bother to bring me your usual gifts,
These days they don't bring me the slightest of lifts.
I'll even pass on the Christmas with snow,
Latest of gadgets and gizmos from Ronco
You can keep all the jewelled bangles and balls,
And even all your Cabbage Patch dolls.
Here's what our family this year places on order,
For delivery when you come over the border.
Please read it and tuck it away up your sleeves,
Then pull it out once again on Christmas Eve.
Give us a shunt that stays connected,
And doesn't even get infected.
May its flow not ever turn sluggish,
Nor it's tubing ever get plug-ssh.
Two kidneys staying healthy,
Would make us feel wealthy.
As a matter of fact,
Make that the whole urinary tract.
Can you make a spine that will stop its curving,
Listen, I tell you, it's really unnerving!
A whole year without a single operation,
Is what we need to feel jubilation.
Please put your elves right to work,
Inventing an IV that don't hurt,
A spinal cord that won't ever tether,
And a wheelchair that's light as a feather.
Can you put to rest all my suspicions,
That our insurance won't cover pre-existing conditions.
And please help our doctors develop an appreciation
For our endless list of question after question.
Another thing I wish for around the clock,
Is a disabled parking space on every block.
And while you're at it, we'd like a vacation away,
That would last for a least a week and a day.
I could go on and on in a similar vein,
With lots of ideas that would take away pain.
But the chime of the clock just make me realize,
That it's time once again to catheterize.
If you think there's entirely too much that we need,
And if it seems to you that we're chock full of greed,
Actually when you get right down to it,
Any one of the above would just about do it!
