OT Soon to be ex SIL already has new girlfriend. NICE huh!

[Tiggerlovinggrandma]

For any of you that have followed my "saga" lol of my daughter's separation over the pass few months. I wanted to give an update. Your feedback, advice and support has really helped me and my family so much. I truly appreciate it.

Well my son in law was to leave for National Guard training last Monday and he did just that. However he was back home the very next dayless then 24 hours later. It seems he had a "panic attack" on the bus going to his medical evaluation prior to basic and they "released" him. He says he was given a general discharge.

Upon coming home he tells DD that they should get back together for their son's sake. She told him he had plenty of time to get his act together and work on their marriage and has chosen not too. The separation papers have been signed and she will proceed early next year with the divorce.

3 days later, he informs DD that he has been seeing someone else for the past 2 months. She is a 27 year old music teacher that he met in late May. He says he has moved on. Even though DD was upset to know he is already in another relationship, she says the fact he asked him to reconcile just 3 days earlier and now tells her this shows her how truly messed up he really is. She says the fact he didn't make in the NG and now has no job or even prospects so far shows her she was right to end the marriage. She says he has serious issues with committment and responcibility that make it impossible to continue a relationship with him. She now knows she is absolutely doing the best thing for her and her son.

Although DD still has to wait to file, she has seen her husband for what he truly is and knows in her heart, it's over. I think she feels a huge burden lifted off her shoulders. DH and I know the times ahead for her and DGS will be hard and probably bumpy, but they will managed. Our daughter and grandson have a lot of support surrounding them which will help them both get through this.

 

[cinderella73]

Seems like you installed you daugher with a strong sense of self. One of the most important things a mom can do for her daughter. Its good to know she is not so weak she will take him back because it can be really hard for some women to stay strong. Especially when there is kids involved. She made a great choice.

I am not usually on these board so I havent been following anything. I just wanted to wish you all well. My DD is starting to get a interest in boys and I am horrified! lol We all know how a boy/ man can break a girls heart. You guys could use a girls trip to Disney!

 

[micheleq]

I'm sorry to hear this but not surprised -- you said in your post about their separation agreement that he requested language included that they were allowed to see other people and not be penalized for it. That indicated to me he was seeing someone, and if he cannot be penalized for it your DD can't claim adultry as grounds for divorce (and a settlement more agreeable for her, like primary custody).

Don't trust him at all, I fear that your DD will have to shoulder the entire burden for your DGS because this man is not going to live up to his end of the bargain where he needs to be financially responsible for 50% of your DGS' well-being.

Have DD document everything, when it comes time to file for divorce, she needs to do what is best for her son -- not what is fair to her ex. And she needs to get her lawyer on board and fight for her!

Hang in there -- you're in my thoughts & prayers!