Well, I live in Niceville, so just a stone's throw from FWB and Destin. I'm actually in Destin working (ahem) right now.
The Holiday Inn Sunspree Resort is actually on Okaloosa Island and is on the beach and actually just fine. There is also a Sheraton Four Points there that is pretty good as well. The hotels are a bit older, but benefit from being directly on the beach. I would not recommend FWB proper for hotels.
The Residence Inn is in Sandestin. It is not by the beach, but is near shopping and is pretty new. The Embassy Suites is closer to the beach and across from the outlet mall.
My recommendations would be the Sandestin Hilton (I think this may be one of the properties you could use points at, but can't remember for sure), the Emerald Grande, Baytowne Wharf, or really any of the Sterling Resorts properties (my favorite being the Henderson Park Inn).
The Sandestin Hilton suits your needs the best. They have 4 golf courses, shuttle service, are on the beach, have kids activities, pool, spa and easy access to several shopping areas, including the Market Shops of Sandestin, Grand Boulevard, the Silver Shells outlet mall and the shops at Baytowne Wharf. They are running several specials right now, since it is the off-season. I will tell you that temperatures have dropped, so swimming in the Gulf (unless you're from Ontario) may not be on your agenda when you arrive. The Hilton has an indoor heated pool, a rarity here.
Oh, and enjoy our beautiful area!