OT - Potty training 3 year old

[carissanboys]

My youngest turned 3 in May. With my older 2 boys, they were both trained around 3 years 3 months and it went quite smoothly. My phiolosophy has always been, if you wait until they're older and really ready, it'll be very easy.

The way I trained my other two was to leave them in just a t-shirt during the day (we didn't go anywhere obviously!) and leave their bottom half naked. When I tried this with my youngest, he'd just pee wherever he was. I'd take him to the toilet beforehand and he'd stand there, but he just couldn't seem to figure out how to release the pee. So, sticking to my "philosophy" I decided maybe he wasn't quite ready and figured we'd try again in a month or two.

My problem is that he wakes up every morning dry! He's been doing this for about a week and a half I guess. Every single morning his diaper is dry as a bone (and it's not because he hasn't been drinking enough...he always has a cup of milk before bed). So, I know that physically he is probably ready. How do I teach him to release his pee on demand? I don't remember having this issue with my other two. I've tried pressing on his lower abdomen while he's standing at the toilet, but that didn't work.

Any tips are greatly appreciated. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (meaning no more diapers!!!), but I also am in no hurry for it either. It just seems silly to have him in diapers when he can hold his pee all night.

Thanks!

 

[nessz79]

Maybe try underwear. I think sometimes if they have nothing on bottom, that cold wet feeling comes and goes quickly whereas underwear stays and makes them feel uncomfortable.

For ours it usually took a couple days and then that was it. We always did underwear and did a lot of washing those days.

If that still doesn't work, maybe have him help you clean messes up? I've never done this, but I heard it works great.

 

[carissanboys]

Maybe try underwear. I think sometimes if they have nothing on bottom, that cold wet feeling comes and goes quickly whereas underwear stays and makes them feel uncomfortable.

The underwear is a good idea. I'll try that. I'm still concerned that it won't help with his figuring out how to release it on demand, but he will probably try harder to keep his underwear dry than if he was naked.

Anyone else?

 

[brymolmom]

With my 2 rounds of potty training…I’m actually in the other camp from you – I am a huge proponent of doing it at an early age– I have a theory that there is a ‘window of opportunity’ for ‘training’ a child – as in, they just don’t do it – you need to teach and train and get them into the habit of using the potty. This is usually around the 2 – 2.5 year old range. Once they are older, IMO, they know too much to be trained easily (of course, this is depending on personality of the child) –and sometimes they will exert whatever control they have and rebel against the training. So I actually tell all my friends with 1 – 2 year olds to start young and just go for it (switch to underwear and never go back – assuming, of course, that the child shows signs of physical readiness). I was a first time potty trainer with ds who is now 5 and I totally wimped out the first 2 times we tried training him…a few/bunch of accidents and I told myself that he wasn’t ready (which he TOTALLY was – he usually kept his diapers dry) – I just didn’t have it in me (or know enough) to do the actual training part, which can take days or weeks to accomplish. So, IMO a parent has two options – do it early and ‘train’ the child or wait until the child is older and have the child do it him/her self. At this age, especially with older sibs – I’m sure your ds knows what to do and how to do it – you might just have to convince him to do it (with rewards if you’re into that) OR just wait it out for him to get on board.

Maybe try rewards? If he uses the potty 10 times he gets to watch a favorite tv show or play a favorite game?

Best of luck!

 

[carissanboys]

With my 2 rounds of potty training…I’m actually in the other camp from you – I am a huge proponent of doing it at an early age– I have a theory that there is a ‘window of opportunity’ for ‘training’ a child – as in, they just don’t do it – you need to teach and train and get them into the habit of using the potty. This is usually around the 2 – 2.5 year old range. Once they are older, IMO, they know too much to be trained easily (of course, this is depending on personality of the child) –and sometimes they will exert whatever control they have and rebel against the training. So I actually tell all my friends with 1 – 2 year olds to start young and just go for it (switch to underwear and never go back – assuming, of course, that the child shows signs of physical readiness). I was a first time potty trainer with ds who is now 5 and I totally wimped out the first 2 times we tried training him…a few/bunch of accidents and I told myself that he wasn’t ready (which he TOTALLY was – he usually kept his diapers dry) – I just didn’t have it in me (or know enough) to do the actual training part, which can take days or weeks to accomplish. So, IMO a parent has two options – do it early and ‘train’ the child or wait until the child is older and have the child do it him/her self. At this age, especially with older sibs – I’m sure your ds knows what to do and how to do it – you might just have to convince him to do it (with rewards if you’re into that) OR just wait it out for him to get on board.

Maybe try rewards? If he uses the potty 10 times he gets to watch a favorite tv show or play a favorite game?

Best of luck!

I'm glad that worked for you My other "philosophy" is "whatever works for you and your family". Training at an earlier age didn't work for us (I tried earlier with all of my kids, but it wasn't worth it to me to continue with the battle). This isn't a case of my 3 year old trying to control the situation. He willingly will go to the toilet and "try". He just doesn't seem to get how to release his bladder. I'm sure once he does it once, all will be well.

At the moment he's in underwear and I've told him if he goes pee on the potty he'll get a sticker (poop earns a toy the first time...did the same with my older two). We'll see how things go!

 

[tadamom]

Well, my DS was pt by the time he was 3 and DD was going on the potty before she was 2 but fully trained by 26 months. Here is an idea that my DH's old boss told him but we never used it. She called it the M&M method.

She would get a cup or bowl & a bag of M&M's. She would then have her kids sit on the potty. She would slowly drop M&M's in a the cup/bowl and tell the child "after you go to the bathroom you can have the M&M's in the cup". The kids were soooo excited to get the M&M's that they would immediately use the bathroom.

I've heard other people say they used this method and it worked too.

 

[nessz79]

This isn't a case of my 3 year old trying to control the situation. He willingly will go to the toilet and "try". He just doesn't seem to get how to release his bladder.

Yep...and I think from my experience the only way that they learn is from experience. Meaning lots of messes . However, I really think that once you decide he's going to potty train, you really have to put your foot down. If you go back and forth w/ potty training it makes it much more difficult.

 

[Princess Roo]

Just a few thoughts that may or may not work...

Try telling him to "push" out the pee and make a little 'exertion' face to kind of show what you mean. (This is what they told DS at school and it worked after several month of him sitting on the potty once a day and never getting anything to come out...He made funny faces for the 1st few weeks while going potty, but those went away - LOL.)

Try working more on the bowel movements and sitting on the potty. DS seems to always go #1 in the process of pushing out #2 and that might help it click. Does he get a "look" on his face when he's about to poo or does he go at a certain time every day so that you could put him on the potty? Offer him a reward if he's willing to stay on the potty "until the timer goes off" and set it for 30 minutes. (Sit there with him and read or bring in a portable DVD.) If you pump him with water/juice, too, there is a good chance one or the other will come out!

Personally, I think there are 3 parts to potty training...being willing to be trained, having the ability to understand when you need to go (or have a parent keeping track and getting you to the potty frequently enough) and then understanding the body mechanics of elimination, and I totally agree that the 3rd may be your only problem with your son.

 

[carissanboys]

Just a few thoughts that may or may not work...

Try telling him to "push" out the pee and make a little 'exertion' face to kind of show what you mean. (This is what they told DS at school and it worked after several month of him sitting on the potty once a day and never getting anything to come out...He made funny faces for the 1st few weeks while going potty, but those went away - LOL.)

Try working more on the bowel movements and sitting on the potty. DS seems to always go #1 in the process of pushing out #2 and that might help it click. Does he get a "look" on his face when he's about to poo or does he go at a certain time every day so that you could put him on the potty? Offer him a reward if he's willing to stay on the potty "until the timer goes off" and set it for 30 minutes. (Sit there with him and read or bring in a portable DVD.) If you pump him with water/juice, too, there is a good chance one or the other will come out!

Personally, I think there are 3 parts to potty training...being willing to be trained, having the ability to understand when you need to go (or have a parent keeping track and getting you to the potty frequently enough) and then understanding the body mechanics of elimination, and I totally agree that the 3rd may be your only problem with your son.

Thank you! Those are some very helpful ideas. He is a very irregular pooper, but HE knows when he has to go and usually will tell us. And he does this very funny stance so it should be easy for me to know when he's going.

Right now we're just using the toilet (I've tried having him sit, but mainly he wants to stand...that's what having 2 older brothers will do). Do you think it would be better to go with a potty chair? I never really used them with my other two. We just had a stool that we put by the toilet to rest their feet on.

 

[dunbarfamily]

Not sure if this will help or not...

My first was potty trained when he was 2 years and 4 months in 2 days. I made sure he drank lots of water, and put him on the big potty every half hour. After two days....done! No stickers or other rewards, he just did it.

My little girl, though, is a different story. After about a month of going back and forth from underwear to diapers, I finally decided we had to put our feet down. I had her wear underwear every day, all day, and even though it meant TONS of laundry and floor wiping and a few sweet tarts every time she went potty, she finally caught on.

I think consistency is the key. Like I said with Mackenzie, we went back and forth with underwear and diapers. But when we started underwear all the time, she got it.

Have you tried just keeping him in underwear, all day and all night?

Good luck! It can be frustrating, but just remember, he will potty train. When he's ready to! Hope this helps!

 

[carissanboys]

My little girl, though, is a different story. After about a month of going back and forth from underwear to diapers, I finally decided we had to put our feet down. I had her wear underwear every day, all day, and even though it meant TONS of laundry and floor wiping and a few sweet tarts every time she went potty, she finally caught on.

How long did it take her to get it?

 

[kokotg]

I was a full-fledged member of the "they'll do it themselves when they're ready" club...until I got to my second DS. The first one just announced that he was ready to wear underwear one day when he was just shy of 3 and never looked back. DS#2 on the other hand had accident after accident when I put him in underwear (at just past 3). I kept putting him back in diapers, thinking he needed more time. Finally, when he was 3 1/2, I put him in underwear full time (except at night) and just reminded him CONSTANTLY to go. Staying dry he got pretty quickly, but he was a bit past 4 before the poop accidents stopped completely. Hmm...not the most encouraging story, I guess. But I agree with the PP that consistency is the key. I think some kids just have to learn by doing; mine really couldn't make the connection between feeling like he needed to go and making it to the potty until he'd actually been doing it, with much help from me, for a long time. As far as making him pee, the only tip I can think of is pouring warm water on him while he's sitting on the potty. That worked for my DS one time....

 

[carissanboys]

**Update**

I just wanted to give a big thanks to Princess Roo for her idea. A few minutes ago my son was sitting on the floor next to me and I heard a sound. I looked over and he was peeing on the floor (and he was completely surprised by it). So, we ran to the bathroom and I sat him on the toilet and proceeded to tell him to "push your pee out" and made the face and sound effects to show him what I meant. And it worked!! At first just a few drops came out, but I was so excited and cheered so loud that he tried a second time and a stream actually came out!!

I am so excited and so thankful for that tip. I just couldn't figure out how to explain to him how to make himself go.

He's on his way!

 

[tadamom]

That's great news!!

 

[Princess Roo]

Yay!! I hope it continues to work.