OT...I need to vent

[vernfonzndrian]

Okay so heres the story...

My aunt has a daughter who is 14, she has since remarried and had two kids, well my cousin (14) has no contact with her real father. My aunts new husband will not allow that. Okay well they have been together for quite some time, and when my cousin was about 5 or so, her hubby would giver her daughter baths. My grandma (r.i.p) used to live with them, and hated that. And would tell all of us, and to us, Im sorry but it was just WEIRD. I have a DD as well and dont think I would ever let a man that wasnt my childs father give her a bath. He gave her baths all the way up until my cousin was about 8 yrs old...=/

Okay fast forward to now...

My grandma passed away, and now my aunt is starting to have all kinds of problems with her daughter, as far as her music, clothes, and behavior. My cousin used to be this happy lil cheerful girl, always dressed so cute...Blah blah and now is dressing in pure black, listening to music about people dying and so on..In other words, she's becoming really depressed and hateful, she isolates herself from everyone. Her mom thinks nothing of this!!!!

Okay back to the husband...
Him and cousin (14) never interact when everyones around, dont talk at all unless he's telling her to do something, such as feed,bath, dress her younger brothers. ( she is seriously a MAID in that house and the mother does NOTHING!) Okay they dont talk however, sometimes He makes cousin go with him to Walmart or Church ALL BY THEMSELVES and leave for hours at a time. My grandma's sister recently started staying with them, and has caught him in the middle of the night laying next to cousin in her bed. and has done laundry, and put cousins clothes away to find one of husbands shirts in her drawer with GuCKy stuff on it...(HmMmMM...)
Me and cousin used to be close so, I've tried talking to her, all she tells me is that she hates him, doesnt say why, but says that she's talked to the mom about leaving him, and that she says that she'll do it if cousin really wants her to, BUT that Cousin needs to remember that if they leave, brothers wont have a dad just like her, does she really want that? And that if they leave theyre gonna have to leave with nothing, so that all theyre material stuff has to stay behind. ....Okay as a mother I would never tell my kids that! I've tried to tell cousin that it's okay cuz material stuff comes and goes, and can easily be replaced.......My mom has caught him slap/grab her on the butt, playfully, but concidering they dont even talk, and he is Her STEPDAD, it wasnt right!
Okay my mom recently confronted her sister about this, when she showed up to my mom's house one night from fighting with him.And she said calmly like nuthin "No I dont think so." and changed the subject. OKAY but Im sorry, if someone accused my husband of something like that and I didnt think he did anything I would be MADDDD and would be offended. COME ON LADY!!!!!

Okay so fast foward to today....
My mom has been holding on to the 1800 # to report suspision, and has been having a hard time, reporting her little sister. So I told her that i would do it, because were better off being wrong, than ignoring it. So I called...I dont feel bad about it, but Im damn scared...I dunno why....
So I had to vent...Please No Flames, I came to get this off my chest, not to be attacked. Thanks!

 

[hollieplus2]

for you and your family

 

[mom2alix]

It sounds like you did the right thing. I hope things get better.

 

[robsmom]

you are right for caring. For your cousin's sake, let's hope you are wrong! The part of the story that concerns me is that your aunt discusses leaving with her. If you aunt didn't think there was something wrong (what you suspect or anything else) why would she even consider leaving him. You are correct that she should be apalled at your mom even suggesting it. Once she gets past appalled she should at least be looking into what your mom is saying. She either knows something, suspects something she doesn't want to know or is really a bad parent.

Just try to be there for your cousin.

 

[vernfonzndrian]

Once she gets past appalled she should at least be looking into what your mom is saying.

Thats exactly what my mom said, She said she would at least feel better if my aunt would say she was gonna look into it just to prove my mom wrong. But Nope....and to top it off, like two days later, they were at "church" together again just the two of them when my aunt called my mom.

 

[Blondiex46]

you did the right thing, I think....you know how abusers are they say never tell or......she wouldn't tell just act out...again IMO you did the right thing.

 

[tadamom]

Big hugs to all of you!!

 

[ilovejack02]

You did the right thing, better safe than sorry. I hope it all works out for your family and the cousin gets the help that it looks like she needs.

 

[vernfonzndrian]

Thank u all...I knew I could come and discuss this with all of you. Man thats why I love the DIS.

 

[tmarquez]

I hope you're wrong...but you did the right thing. Good luck to your family.

 

[DiamondD]

In my opinion Goodbye Step-father. If my step-father ever did that and my mother said the same thing i would still say for her to leave him. I love my step-father, dad, mom, and step-mom. I really think that she should leave the guy. Hope all goes well.

 

[JoiseyMom]

You so did the right thing, and your cousin will be so grateful to you one day.

 

[Chris]

I hope things work out well for your cousin and I'm happy you did what needed to be done. Someone has to look out for that child and if it's nothing then great, but if it is something good for you for not sitting idly by.

 

[disneypearl]

You did the right thing. You may be wrong but it doesn't sound good. You will feel better now that you have tried to help your cousin. You care and that is what is important.

 

[vernfonzndrian]

I made the call today, I wonder how long it will take for someone to be there out at their house...

 

[ilovejack02]

I made the call today, I wonder how long it will take for someone to be there out at their house...

You said that cousin's real father has no contact because step dad wont allow it. Is he a bad person, is he someone that could be contacted or does he need to stay away?

 

[diz8297]

I am so sorry that this is happening to your family. You are brave and wise to make the call. I hope and pray that everything works out ok. Hang in there.

 

[natenapril]

Maybe you or your mom could have her come stay with you awhile and she could have someone to confide in? I am sure she feels alone and scared.

 

[vernfonzndrian]

You said that cousin's real father has no contact because step dad wont allow it. Is he a bad person, is he someone that could be contacted or does he need to stay away?

He actually wasnt a part of her life at all until she was about 8 or 9, and then he located her, Him and his mom wanted to be a part of her life, but the Step dad was already in the picture and wouldnt allow it. Last summer my aunt was gonna take her to see them, since they've never met, but the step dad found out, and put an end to that, he says that he's the only dad that she'll ever need.

 

[vernfonzndrian]

Maybe you or your mom could have her come stay with you awhile and she could have someone to confide in? I am sure she feels alone and scared.

Her step dad is SUPER protective of her, and wont even allow her to stay the night when all the teens are staying at my moms, And they're all related so it can be a boy/girl thing that he's worried about.

A couple weeks ago, we had a family getaway and we all went to Vegas, well, all my little cousins, and little brother were going down to the teen area where the arcade was, they were all going together so we thought it was fine since they were gonna be together, well he got super Mad at my aunt for letting her go, and went down with them to the arcade and sat there watching her while they played the games.