OT-How do you get through the pain of losing a loved one?

[princesscj]

Grieve! Like others have said, don't hold it in! Cry when you need to cry!

I just learned about this the hard way. We lost my 22 year old cousin who was more like my sister due to some family issues, she had cancer, yes 22!

I tried to be the "strong one". Well, a year later, I was completely torn up! I ended up going to counseling. She asked me, have you been to her grave since her death? I said no. She asked why, and I said because I would cry. Duh! I needed to cry. So, I went to grave, cried like a baby, "talked to her", etc. I did a few things to commemerate her, etc, and I am feeling tons better.

And, by the way! My son is having issues grieving, and guess what his counselor asked me - have you ever cried with him, or in front of him? I answered no, he said, well, then he feels like he has to hold it in as well, and is causing him emotional distress - turning into to anger etc.

I tried to act like everything was OK, and it bit me in the behind. So, take it from one who knows, GRIEVE now, go thru the processes. Please!

Lastly, I am very sorry for your loss! Here is a hug and pixie dust for you.....

 

[Kayla's Mom]

I am sorry for your loss....I lost my grandma on January 9th of this year. It was very unexpected and I was very close to her. Sometimes I still think "Oh, I should call Gramee...." and when I do that it really hits me. I also lost my 21 year old cousin (very unexpected) to a cyst in the stomach on May 28th. It's been a rough year for us and sometimes the smallest thing makes me cry, especially when my 4 year old asks when she will see her Gramee again.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I'm so sorry...

I grew up with my mother and my grandparents. My grandfather was the only "dad" I ever had. He died on Christmas Eve 1998. To this day, I hate Christmas. There is simply no joy in it for me. I also get upset around his birthday in March, Father's Day, etc.

Last week I delivered some of his ashes to one of my uncles in Chicago. My grandparents moved from Illinois to Connecticut in 1973 and Grandpa had never gone back. I cried over the fact that I took Grandpa "home" - it really felt like the most important thing I'd ever done.

 

[faindrops27]

I am so sorry for your loss My prayers, and sympathies are with you, and your family. I know the pain oh to well. I lost my grandfather 3 years ago. He was the only real man in my life. Before my husband. When he died a piece of me died with him. Then, I lost my sister, 2 years ago, and my brother, just this past year. Whew,. It is so very difficult. Sometimes, i still cry, because, I miss them. But, there is a light. I know they all were are at peace with God, and if I live my life right. My beliefs are that I will one day see them again. But, anyway, there is a time to mourn. What you are going through is very normal. With time. Things will get better. Take care, and God bless.