OT- Any Kindergarten teachers out there? I have a question for you...

[annie34]

My DD's birthday is Sept. 16 (she's 4 now). In our school district, Sept. 1 is the cutoff date for enrolment. Her big brother is currently in Kindergarten, so I am aware of the curriculum thus far. I know she will be ready for Kindergarten next year (hate to say this, but she is academically smarter than her brother). My question is this... assuming that we can get her tested and enrolled in Kindergarten next fall; do you find that the younger kids in the class have any disadvantages? I don't care if she has to wait a year, but my fear becomes that she will be board and dis-interested. Can you tell me the pros and cons of having a student that is on the cusp of the cutoff date? Thanks a ton... registration is going to creep up on me in the spring and I want to be sure I'm doing the right thing

 

[jpeka65844]

Teacher chiming in here! I teach in a Pre-K-6 school and teach music so I see all grade levels. We are seeing more and more K students come in who are barely making the cut-off, and quite frankly, you can tell.

Especially with boys, I see a HUGE difference in the kids that are sent to K barely 5 (or not even 5!) and those who have waited to start. Social skills, attention levels, and self-control are usually MUCH lower for the younger children. I guess you can chalk it up to their immaturity. Add them to students in their classroom who DID wait to start and you have a HUGE spectrum of abilities and talents and a challenging mix of kids who can be a full year apart in age!

I also see K students coming to school knowing less and less every year. No shapes, no colors, no alphabet, no tying shoes, no zipping coats, some are still sucking thumbs and we've even had some start K with pacifers (I am NOT lying!!). It just seems like they're getting younger and younger!

But that's just my vent! We have 4 very challenging K classes in my building this year and they are giving me gray hair! They'll be the death of me!

So, OP, I obviously can't tell you what to do about your DD. Just make sure you are thorough in her evals and tests and make sure that, no matter WHAT she does, she's READY to do it!

 

[K and K's Mommy]

Former second grade teacher here - You can definitely tell, especially boys. My own son has a spring birthday, and I could even tell he seemed immature compared to fall birthdays. In Indiana the cut-off is August 1. He is in fourth grade now, and I think socially he is just catching up. Academically, he has been fine - only 1 B ever, and he is reading at 12th grade.

My own DD has an August birthday. Even though the cut-off is Aug. 1, you can waive them if you are 5 by September 1. We chose not to do that, and I love that she is the oldest. She's in first grade now. She is very confident, friends with everyone, and a leader in the class. The teacher assures me she is not bossy which is NOT the case at home! Despite her being ready academically, one of the biggest reasons I didn't send her was my own August birthday. I hated being the youngest, last to drive, last to be able to go to bars in college. The trend where I live is to definitely "red shirt" June and July boys. We didn't really want her in high school with kids 14 months older than she is.

I know every child is different, but when I taught second grade, I never had a parent wish they had sent them the year before. They always were thankful they waited.

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

Pre-K teacher here...

Just keep in mind that while she may be academically where she needs to be to start Kindergarten, there are a million different factors (social skills, emotional adjustments, even physical, etc.) that should be taken into consideration. There will also be children in her class who are a full year older than your DD (who waited for the cutoff). I think there's some merit in having her with peers who are in, generally, of course, the same developmental groups. Good luck!!

 

[aladams2]

I am a K teacher and my dd turned 5 on Aug. 30 with a Sept 1 cut off. I sent her. She had 2 years of preschool and knew all her colors, shapes, letters, sounds, numbers, and was starting to sound out words. She can sit still during a story and was wanting to go. I also have a dd in 1st grade. So they are 21 months apart. We had conferences last week and we were very pleased with dd5 progress. She is doing as well or better than some who are now turning 6. It just depends on your child. You do know best. Please make sure they can sit and do the things required. Try to have them enrolled in a preschool program if you can. You can really tell who has and hasn't had that instruction. Hope that helps.

 

[carj]

Do you have choice to send her if she isn't old enough on the cut off date? That is not an option for us. You can find private Kindergartens that will take the kids that just missed it but in public school, we do not.

My daughter has an end of July birthday and our cut-off date is Sept 1. She started Kindergarten this year. I was a little concerned that socially, emotionally she would have difficulties but she has been wonderful. I knew that the academics wouldn't be an issue. I am amazed at how well she is reading already! She LOVES school!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My DD's birthday is September 28th and our cut-off is September 1st. She was definetly ready to go. Knows all her colors, shapes, can recite and write all her letters, ties her own shoes, she is even starting to read. She has a 10 year old brother that she picks up alot from.

Did I send her? No way! I could have requested testing and I know she would have passed but what if once she gets to kindergarten becomes overwhelmed or doesn't do as well as I expected. I don't want to have to hold her back. I figure why rush it.

She's in pre-K now, 4 days a week. She's fine and wil start kindergarten next August.

 

[Whipperwhirl]

I feel for you and your decision. My daughter made the cut by a few days and I made the academic decision to send her. It was a terrible decision ending in me ultamately insisting on keeping her back in first grade - and I will tell you - it was a fight. She will catch up I was told - give her time - but at what cost? She was spending more time trying to figure out other kids than learning.

Because she always did fine academically - the teachers, advisors, did not want to keep her back - but I knew she was struggling emotionally. She would lash out, have trouble understanding other students actions - take everything to heart. It was a mistake sending her at 4 years old - my son - who turned 4 this past september - will not go to school until he is 5 going on 6 - and I dont care what anyone thinks - it will be an advantage for him moving forward and thats what we are going to do.

Good luck with your decision - Whip

 

[5 for WDW]

I am going to be the one odd one here. Our daughter's b-day is October 10th. Our K cutoff is 12/1. She started K this September at 4. She is doing wonderfully. We had her parent/teacher conference last week and the teacher is very pleased with how well she is doing. Academically, emotionally and socially. She is right where she should be in most areas and just past where she should be in others. She has kids in her class that are turning 6 right now (as my middle son did in K since his b-day is 12/21) and she can listen and stay on task better then two of them. She is also an average 5 year old. She is just learning to read, she still struggles with tying her shoes if she is in a hurry and loves play time.

All that being said, she struggled so much emotionally and socially in Nursery school at age 3 that we pulled her out of the program. She just wasn't ready. She was very shy and had a real hard time adjusting. She did much better in Pre-K. My husband and I decided when she was in Nursery that we would hold her a year from K if she was still the same way. Obviously, a year or two in a young child can make a big difference. My daughter is a completely different kid at age 5 then she was at 3 and a young 4. My oldest is one of the younger ones in his grade (6th) and has always kept up. My middle is the second oldest in his entire 3rd grade and has done extremely well since K.

All my ramblings come down to this. All kids are different. In my experience with my three, it came down to the child not so much the age. Good luck!

 

[wehavesix]

Pre-k teacher of 20 years and mom to 6 kids here. I didn't read all the responses but I'm betting most, if not all responders encouraged you to keep her out until after she turns 5. I whole heartedly agree with that idea. Even if she is advanced academically, socially and physically she will be better off being older rather than younger. This will be especially apparent later on down the line. Of my 6 children, 4 have Sept. birthdays. Of those 4, I retained 3 in order to give them the gift of time. When my oldest son, who is now about to turn 29, began kindergarten, the cut off was Dec 31 and his birthday is Dec 26. Yes, he was 4 years old for almost half the year and it showed. He was always the youngest in his class. He was the last to drive, date, and was only 17 when he graduated high school. When my younger kids came along, we didn't repeat that error in judgement. Generally speaking, an older child is better able to handle the social and physical challenges regardless of cognitive skills. My younger ones are now 13, 14, and 15. I definitely see the benefits of them being older than their classmates in many ways. They are better able to handle those tough middle school and high school years than their brother was. I answer this question every year with parents and I always tell them that if they can afford to wait a year, then that is the best thing to do, imo.

 

[shelly3girls]

I am going to be the one odd one here. Our daughter's b-day is October 10th. Our K cutoff is 12/1. She started K this September at 4. She is doing wonderfully. We had her parent/teacher conference last week and the teacher is very pleased with how well she is doing. Academically, emotionally and socially. She is right where she should be in most areas and just past where she should be in others. She has kids in her class that are turning 6 right now (as my middle son did in K since his b-day is 12/21) and she can listen and stay on task better then two of them. She is also an average 5 year old. She is just learning to read, she still struggles with tying her shoes if she is in a hurry and loves play time.



All my ramblings come down to this. All kids are different. In my experience with my three, it came down to the child not so much the age. Good luck!

The big difference here is that your DD does make the cut-off for your school. I do not know what it is like in the OP's district but around here many people choose not to send their kids with birthdays near the date. As a result many kids turn 6 before or around the start of K. My DD's b-day is in March and she was one of the younger ones in the class. I think fitting in socially is a huge deal.

I honestly think you should hear from 4th -6th grade teachers and ask their opinion. In my experience (and of course there are plenty of exceptions) I have seen a couple of children be ready with academics so they started K young. By 3rd or 4th grade it started to catch up to them. Not to say that they will not succeed but things just seem harder for them. Most likely if they were a year lower they could be at the top of the class. Most schools now offer curriculums as challenging as each child can handle so their are ways to challenge her without pushing her up a grade.

One thing I always think about with kids who skip a grade or go a year early to K is that they will graduate HS a year earlier and leave home a year earlier. To me that is one year lost of their childhood that I could not get back.

 

[kerstfan1]

its funny to see that in the states kids dont start attending schooluntil the are 5.

Here in the Netherlands the start when they turn 4 yours old.

joyce

 

[zoemurr]

Here the cut off is Dec 1 (why, I don't know) and you can have Einstein that was born Dec 2 and there is NO getting them in early.

Anyway, around here you will find very very few kids with birthdays close to cut off. Everyone with fall birthdays holds their kids back for whatever reason. In K my son with a July birthday (so only halfway through the year) was the 2nd youngest. I was very surprised. So, if you don't hold her, don't be surprised if she is the youngest by far.

That being said, my DD was reading chapter books by 4. They made me start her in K on time, but then let me skip her to 1st part way through the year. She is still doing fine years later in all areas and this was the right decision for us. Good luck!

 

[MiniGirl]

My mom taught K for over 20 years, and she always knew within the first few weeks of school which children she would recommend repeating K. She always referred to them as her "babies." She also always said that it wasn't because these kids weren't "smart enough" for first grade. It was always a maturity issue. Occassionally, one of these kids would show enough growth in that area that she'd change her mind by the end of the year, but that was the exception.

Now, my oldest was born on Sept. 8, and we have a Sept 1 cut off date, and I knew that she was ready academically for K. There is a private school that would've taken her a year before the public schools would have, but in the end we decided to wait. It was more because of things I worried about "down the road." I didn't like the idea of my 14 yo dd being friends/classmates with 16 yos who were driving, etc. My dd is smart but she is a follower, and I liked the idea of her that extra year so she'd be one of the oldest in her class. I thought it would help make her a leader rather than a follower -- at least enough to where she wouldn't be so pressured to do things she knows she shouldn't do.

We homeschool her now, so those reasons no longer apply; but I am still glad we waited.

 

[lastminutemom]

Here the cut off is Dec 1 (why, I don't know) and you can have Einstein that was born Dec 2 and there is NO getting them in early.

Anyway, around here you will find very very few kids with birthdays close to cut off. Everyone with fall birthdays holds their kids back for whatever reason. In K my son with a July birthday (so only halfway through the year) was the 2nd youngest. I was very surprised. So, if you don't hold her, don't be surprised if she is the youngest by far.

That being said, my DD was reading chapter books by 4. They made me start her in K on time, but then let me skip her to 1st part way through the year. She is still doing fine years later in all areas and this was the right decision for us. Good luck!

I have to agree with this. Around here, almost all educated parents hold kids back with mid-summer to late summer birthdays and our state doesn't allow kids to be pushed forward. My daughter (who is a third child and began to read at age 4) has a mid September birthday and is NEVER the oldest in her class. Generally there are two or three kids with late summer birthdays who are oldest.

Keep in mind, that the differences you don't see now, will probably be painfully obvious about the time middle school hits. (the worst years, if you ask me.)

 

[Aristomommy]

OP: I was in the same situation as you. DD has a Nov. birthday and our school had a Aug 30th cut off. She went to a private pre-k and her teacher highly recommended that she started K early. I didn't know this was even possible when she recommended this and we had her tested. She more than passed (99.9th percentile). She was also tall for her age, mature and could sit still etc. Our public school still adviced against it, because they feared she would be in class with kids almost 2 years older, since so many parents red shirt their summer kids.

We listened to the professionals that knew DD best. We kept her in the private school for K, they did a wonderful job and DD has been very happy with the decision. She is now a young 5th grader that goes to 6th grade for Math and Language Arts.

I would suggest that you:

1. Ask a professional such as a per-k teacher, family/friends in the field, sunday school teachers etc.

2. Test her and then look at the big picture. A young child needs to academically further ahead than the older children IMHO. I have a nephew who is a young 1st grader and as an "average student" he is struggling with reading.

3. Consider her size, maturity, excitement for the learning process.

4. Take it year by year. Each year we have been ready to repeat a grade, consider social issues , but it has not been necessary. Don't look at it as an all or nothing, a struggling child will be happy to slow down the pace of learning.

Good luck with your decision. I have a DS with a January birthday and I am glad I don't have to make the same decision with him.

 

[nessz79]

My son's birthday is August 27th. Our cut-off date is Sept 1st. We plan on sending him on time. Academically he is doing fine. Learning his letters with no problem, knows a couple words, and catches on very easily. He's had a couple of behavior problems with being too "talky", but I see that more as a gender issue than anything. The other boys in his preK class seem to be right on par with him. He's very social and seems to be popular with his classmates.

Sorry to go off topic (kind of), but if he did need to be held back in K, would that need to be a traumatic event? He's greatly looking forward to K, and I think his self-esteem would be just as hurt if I kept him back a year from starting K. Any thoughts on this?

 

[Aristomommy]

One thing I always think about with kids who skip a grade or go a year early to K is that they will graduate HS a year earlier and leave home a year earlier. To me that is one year lost of their childhood that I could not get back.

That is a legitimate concern, I admit. Since I have a child who will graduate at 17 (or earlier) she will not go out of town for college right away. She wants to go to veterinary school eventually, but she can get her initial classes done at home. Colleges are becoming more flexible as HS becomes more flexible. Many kids in our school district graduate HS with first year of college already done. Since she will be home, I don't feel like I am missing on her childhood, but providing her the best learning environment considering her abilities and interests.

 

[mjkacmom]

My oldest dd has a late July birthday, October 1st cutoff, and although she was academically ready (2 years of preschool, reading actual books, simple addition and subtraction mastered), she was socially more immature that a lot of the girls, some of whom were almost a whole year older than she was. I believe she caught up emotionally in about the 5th grade.

There's a lot of red-shirting here, and you can't test if you miss the cutoff - my gf's dd missed it by 3 days, and she was THRILLED that she wouldn't have to make the red-shirt decision on her own.

 

[princesspwrhr]

I think you need to look further down the line also. How old will your child be in middle school?

Will she be ready to deal with boys, make up, dances, flirting, cell phones, the mean-ness of middle school girls and all the drama that makes up 6th- 8th grade?

Will you if she's a younger middle schooler?

We have a Sept 30 cut off. I have one summer bday currently 10 in 5th -academically should be in middle school, but isn't interested in the drama so I'm not pushing a grade skip. She'll graduate when she's 17 as it is, and if I push a grade skip will graduate at 16. And I have 2 winter birthdays. 1 will be 4 in 2 weeks. She'll be fine in K when the time comes (she'll turn 6 halfway into the year) and we've got another year and a half to work the wiggles down to a socially acceptable level. The child is an exercise in patience and the laws of physics! LOL My other winter bday will be 5 the week of New Years. She's calm, quiet, will sit for hours with a book or a project, academically on target and seemingly the perfect canidate for Kindy. Except she does not want to go. At all. She is an emotional wreck when her sister leaves each morning for school, overly elated when she comes home, can't stand for any of us to be gone (except daddy - she seems to accept that he goes and comes back, but he was deployed for her first 2 years of life so that may be part of it), she's just not emotionally ready to handle it. In our state you can opt out of Kindy as long as they are not 6 by the cut off. So I'm going to opt her out of Kindy and when her little sister is ready to go I will send DD2 to 1st grade and DD3 to Kindy. DD2 seems to need the extra year to mature and I think just having her sister on the bus with her will help the separation anxiety. DD3 will be fine when the time comes. She's secure in routines, so the first week will be hard until it becomes her routine. Then all will be well.