OT--Am I wrong to be angry??

[Lovin' Disney]

Hey all. Sorry for the off topic. My son, who is in the 4-year-old preschool program at our town's public school, was supposed to go on a field trip this morning to a children's museum about an hour away from our town. The teacher sent home a note last week asking us to check the box whether we want our child to be picked up at our house by the bus or whether we would be dropping them off at school. This is because they usually go to school during the afternoon, and the field trip was scheduled from 8-3. Well, I checked the box that said he was to be picked up at home by the bus and sent the form back last Thursday. My husband also volunteered to be a chaperone for the field trip.

So fast forward to this morning. We were never told what time the bus would be coming to our house in the morning, but we started looking for the bus at 7:15 am. We watched from the window while we ate breakfast and then DS and DH waited outside from 7:30-almost 8:00 for the bus to come. It never showed. So I called the school and the secretary just said "The bus left about 5 minutes ago." I was really angry and so was DH. After school, around 2:55, we went to talk to the teacher, but she wasn't in her classroom and the light was off so I assume she was on her way to leave for the day. DH went to look for the principal, but she was nowhere to be found either. He talked the secretary and told her to have the principal call him. She called about 20 minutes later and said that DS's teacher told her that the bus drove by our house and since they weren't outside, they just drove on by and assumed DH and DS would be driving there. Why would they think that when we had sent the form in for them to picked up at our house?? I guess it is possible that they were at our house before 7:15 am, but you would think they'd stop and knock on the door. It's a small town and it doesn't take long to pick up 13 preschoolers...about 25 minutes when I've volunteered in DS's class and rode the bus so I am seriously doubting they were here that early. The principal said she would talk to the bus driver and call us back tomorrow. I honestly feel that the teacher is lying and she is trying to cover her butt because they forgot to stop here. What do you all think? I am looking for other perspectives on this situation. I'm just really mad because DS was really disappointed that he didn't get to go on the field trip today. Also, this teacher will be his kindergarten teacher next year and DD's teacher in the near future, so I don't want to get into a huge argument with her. What do I do????

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I can see where you would be mad but to be honest I would have asked the teacher what time to expect the bus to come especially if I was a chaperone. It just seems like a miscommunication to me.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I would have been majorly pissed off, but I probably would have touched base the day before to see about the time for pick up. Regardless though...you'd think that if the bus did in fact go by your house, it could have stopped for a moment and at least honked the horn giving you the opportunity to run out. Their explanation sounds pretty flimsy, but for the sake of keeping the peace (since your DS will have this teacher next year), I would probably let it go. I would still voice my displeasure, but I wouldn't totally flip. Sorry your son missed out on the trip-that is the crappy part of it all. I'm sure he was really looking forward to it and to sharing the experience with his classmates.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

IMO if they wanted you to wait outside, they should have told you.

 

[Hannathy]

Sounds like poor planning and communication, but I have to ask.....Why didn't you DH just drive himself and your son to the museum? If he had planned on chaperoning he would have already taken the day off. While I wouldn't have been happy about it, it would have got your son to the field trip.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

What do I do????

I can't tell you that, but I CAN tell you that I'd be really angry and frustrated in that same situation. However, take my opinion with a grain of salt since we won't be doing the school thing here. I almost EXPECT for things like that to happen, be they mistakes or CYA situations, and no, I don't think they'd necessarily 'fess up to them, either! JMO.

 

[deedeetoo]

Well I can understand why you're upset. But I think you just didn't understand how the system works in your town. Its too bad you found this out on the day of the field trip and it caused you son to miss it. Didn't they tell you what time school starts it the morning and when the bus for the trip was leaving?

In our town, the bus slows down when it gets to scheduled stop. If no one is outside waiting, they keep driving. The bus does not stop to wait for you. They have a schedule to keep to. If you're not there they assume you are sick or are being driven in that day. If my kids are running late and miss the bus, I have to drive them to school. Every once and awhile the bus doesn't show. Its happened a couple times because of mechanical problems, once because there was an accident that prevented the bus from taking the normal route, once there was a substitute driver who didn't know the route correctly. When it gets within 30 minutes of school starting and the bus hasn't showed up, we get in the car and drive.

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

I'm sorry about your frustration. Where we live, the bus just drives on by if you aren't outside waiting. When I was a kid, some drivers would stop and honk, but most just drove on past.

 

[rparmfamily]

I answered you on the budget board too--my son goes to the special needs pre-k at the local elem school and rides the bus. The buses are not allowed to honk. Also, if I didn't know what time the bus was coming I would have made sure because an open window of time is very hard to wait around for. Field trips can be nuts, there are a lot of parents/kids involved!

Now you know...for next time! Sorry!

 

[belle&beast]

I work in the public school preschool and our experience is that the people in transportation do not wait if someone is not ready. The teacher should have been more specific about when the bus will arrive, but truly the buses don't wait (at least around here.) Also, our transportation department makes the rules, not the teacher. So it is very possible that the teacher is telling the truth about what she has been told. I do believe that this was a terrible situation for you and your family and I know my kids would be crushed if it happened to us. I hope you are able to work it out.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Sounds like miscommunication to me. i would speak to the teacher but do so in a kind non assuming tone. It is very important to keep the line of comminication open. I too would have checked the day before to pin down a pick up time but the teacher really should have given you one. I too would have just assumed a mix up and headed over to the museum to meet the class. That would have prevented your child from missing out on the fun.

 

[MiniGirl]

IMO if they wanted you to wait outside, they should have told you.

Are you saying the driver should stop at each house and wait for the child to come out of the house? Or should the driver have come to the door the way the OP suggested? Truthfully, I was shocked that they would even come to the door. Our elementary school bus does come into the neighborhood and makes 1 stop. The jr and sr high buses don't even come into our neighborhood. They make 1 stop at the entrance. If you live in the back, then you walk or catch a ride.

We have a great bus driver. Our house happens to be on the bus route, and she will stop and pick up my dd or other children that she sees along the route. However, she doesn't have to and we don't take advantage of her kindness by waiting at our house.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Are you saying the driver should stop at each house and wait for the child to come out of the house? Or should the driver have come to the door the way the OP suggested? Truthfully, I was shocked that they would even come to the door. Our elementary school bus does come into the neighborhood and makes 1 stop. The jr and sr high buses don't even come into our neighborhood. They make 1 stop at the entrance. If you live in the back, then you walk or catch a ride.

We have a great bus driver. Our house happens to be on the bus route, and she will stop and pick up my dd or other children that she sees along the route. However, she doesn't have to and we don't take advantage of her kindness by waiting at our house.

Thats not what I said at all...re-read my post.... if the school wanted them to wait outside, they should have said, "wait outside".... its that simple.

 

[MiniGirl]

Thats not what I said at all...re-read my post.... if the school wanted them to wait outside, they should have said, "wait outside".... its that simple.

I did go back and read your post again. Actually, I copied your whole post in my response to you. You said, "IMO if they wanted you to wait outside, they should have told you." Really, I wasn't trying to be nasty, and was just curious as to what you thought they should do since they didn't tell her to have her son outside. In our school district, preschoolers do not ride the bus, so this is something with which I am not familar. I was just trying to find out if preschoolers, in general, don't wait for the bus. Unfortunately, things on message boards don't always come across as they are meant, and I apologize to you if you took my remark to be anything but curiosity. Really, I didn't mean anything by it.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I did go back and read your post again. Actually, I copied your whole post in my response to you. You said, "IMO if they wanted you to wait outside, they should have told you." Really, I wasn't trying to be nasty, and was just curious as to what you thought they should do since they didn't tell her to have her son outside. In our school district, preschoolers do not ride the bus, so this is something with which I am not familar. I was just trying to find out if preschoolers, in general, don't wait for the bus. Unfortunately, things on message boards don't always come across as they are meant, and I apologize to you if you took my remark to be anything but curiosity. Really, I didn't mean anything by it.

I misunderstood.... no worries

 

[Tess'smom]

I probably would have been upset too, but it really could have been miscommunication about when and where you were to be.

In our school district the bus driver is not allowed to get off the bus to knock on doors and they do not usually honk either for some reason. I probably would have been waiting outside for the bus just so we didnt miss it.

If my child missed the bus for the field trip, I would have driven myself. I definately would talk to the teacher and see what she/he has to say.

 

[disneypearl]

Sounds like the bus garage/transportation department would know when the bus should arrive and not the teacher. She probably let them know the list of children riding and they should take it from there. The bus probably rode on by when they didn't see them outside. Its unfortunate your son missed his field trip. Too bad you couldn't have found other transportation.

 

[deedeetoo]

I has another thought about this...

In your post you said, that you checked the box to have your son picked up by the bus. Was this a special bus they were running just for the trip, or were the kids being picked up by the regular morning bus that picks up the older kids? If that as the case, the bus stop might not have been at your house. In fact that bus might not have even come down your street. Our bus stop is at the corner at the end of the street. The bus does not come down the street and we can't see the corner from our house so if we were waiting in the house we would have no idea the bus had come and gone.

Also on the timing... You say the trip started at 8:00 and you started waiting at 7:15. That may have been too late. Depending what the route was and how far you are along in it, the bus may have been earlier. School here starts at 9:05. The first bus pickup is 7:50 at the start of the route. My kids usually get on at about 8:10.

I know all this doesn't help now, but its some things you need to think about next year when your son goes to kindergarten.

 

[lexmas]

Sorry your son missed his trip, he must be upset, and I'd probably be upset too, it seems like you should have been given more information about the whole thing.

However, I'm really surprised that the bus just drives on by in most places if there isn't a kid outside...in our school district the bus driver stops at your house and honks...normally if the kid is sick the`parent steps outside to wave the bus on. Of course, when I was a kid we lived on a dead end so we had to walk to the bus stop, but all those other kids got to wait inside leasurely and wait for the bus to honk...

 

[Aristomommy]

Sorry to hear your son missed the field trip. We have had situation where the bus didn't come on time or at all. I usually start driving to the school so DD is not late and the bus can drive by our house and see that we are not there. I'm curious if your DH wasn't able to drive him to school or why you would wait 45 minutes? Or just driven him to the field trip location? Not that it matter after the fact, but I would rather be late myself than have them miss a special occasion. Our busses are usually reliable, but things happen and they are not perfect.