Opinions please, not quite 6 year old behavior?

[AZMermaid]

Isn't every parent disappointed when their child misbehaves?

While every five year old isn't going to break a fondant figure on a cake (not smash a birthday cake as another poster stated), this is certainly not abnormal behavior for a five year old. I'm surprised so many posters here think it is.

I don't think it should be brushed aside as "oh they are five" though. I hope it was a teaching moment and the child learned from it. While not off the scales abnormal, I would not say it is typical. The OP said the child mangled it. To me this is more than played with it when told not to and his head broke off or something. To me, that is normal 5 year old behavior. But, to purposely break it in a fit of jealousy, is explainable, but in my world, not normal. To me, normal states that I would expect this out of this age group and see it often. I would not and I do not. Maybe normal isn't the right word. I don't think breaking Olaf is a sign of a serious problem child destined for a life of crime. But, it is enough of an offense that the child should be punished in some way, like going without cake.

 

[AnAmericanInDisney]

Sounds like a jealous kid being bratty, but she might have thought the fondant was more solid than it was and wouldn't be messed up easily. It would look pretty solid to a kid.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

There is insufficient evidence to provide an answer.

 

[marmalade]

Sounds like a jealous kid being bratty, but she might have thought the fondant was more solid than it was and wouldn't be messed up easily. It would look pretty solid to a kid.

This was my first thought as well. A spoiled rotten brat who was jealous of the cake. I do not think this is normal behavior for an almost 6yr old at all.

But then again my kids are perfect and I am a perfect mother, so I have the right to come to this conclusion on an anonymous message board.

 

[ktlm]

I will totally disagree! It is 'not' normal behavior for a nearly 6 year old to smash a birthday cake! Curious child has nothing to do with it - I've had three curious children that age and they well knew how to behave, also knew there were 'consequences' for not doing so.

Sounds like a jealous kid being bratty, but she might have thought the fondant was more solid than it was and wouldn't be messed up easily. It would look pretty solid to a kid.

The OP clarified above that she did not smash a birthday cake, she just damaged the Olaf. The OP used the word mangled, in regard to the Olaf, but that doen't mean that the child intentionally crushed it, as everyone seems to be assuming. Sure, the child did something wrong by touching something that she was not supposed to- but she is 5 and they occasionally do touch things after being told not to- and it has not been stated if it was explained to her why she should not touch it- i.e. because it was made basically of sugar and was very fragile and could easily break. OP can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing OP is the birthday kid's mother who probably spent a lot of money on that fondant cake, and was very upset by Olaf being damaged. As stated by the other poster, a fondant Olaf looks solid. It also can look like it is an actual toy- again the OP stated she was told not to touch, but does not state whether it was explained to the child that it was actually made out of fragile sugar, and was not a toy. If you have ever dealt with fondant, you know fondant figures can sometimes crush, break, or even shatter at the slightest touch (or if not stable on the cake, can fall over and smash), even more so if the figure was actually made out of solid fondant, and no gumpaste was used- fondant can be notoriously unstable if it is not just right, which is why for figures, gumpaste is often entirely used for them or as a mixture with fondant. Also, if the fondant is not set, or if the cake with the figure on it was put in the refrigerator, then the fondant can become soft and mushy and and can smoosh when barely touched. Everyone seems to be assuming that this child picked up Olaf and intentionally crushed him. It is also possible with him being fondant, that she just touched him with one or two fingers out of curiousity, and he fell apart, or mushed. Or, she could have barely touched him with a finger and he fell over, and then she tried to fix it, by picking him up and putting him back right and she mushed him when she picked him up to fix it. That is typical 5 year old behavior. DD had a Frozen birthday party when she turned 8 last year and had a cake with Frozen figures on it- and although I told the kids not to touch the cake, I turned around and 2 of her guests were touching the figures on top of the cake. They didn't pick them up and didn't mean any harm by it, but if the figures had been fondant instead of plastic, they would have been done for. Those kids were not being cruel. They just loved Frozen, were full of party energy, and were curious about, or wanted to touch the figures even though they had been told to leave the cake alone. They were doing something they were not supposed to do, but they did not intend harm, and would have been very upset if they had hurt the figures or the cake. Totally normal hyped up kid party behavior-still wrong- but kids aren't perfect. Now, if she intentionally picked it up and crushed it in front of the birthday child out of anger or spite and was not remotely sorry afterwards, that is an entirely different situation. That is pretty bratty behavior.

 

[SEA333]

How this relates to Disney? The object being discussed was an Olaf themed birthday cake.

A not quite 6 year old is told specifically to not touch something, they proceed to mangle what they were told to not touch.
Typical soon to be 6 years old behavior, or slightly cruel?
Incident occurred when kid was 5 years, 7 months old. Highly likely that a not quite 8 year old witnessed the mangling.
Thoughts? Please

My kids (I have three):
Kid #1 would not have touched.
Kid #2 would not have touched, and probably would have told the younger kid not to touch either. She may or may not might have come to me and said that younger kid was touching since we don't condone tattling unless someone is hurt or bleeding, however, I can see where she would come and say "I know I am not supposed to tattle, but...."
Kid #3 would probably want to touch a little, but as long as #2 (big sister) was there, he would be kept in check LOL
Fourth scenario: #1 and #3 have no concept of where their bodies are in space (sigh), so I can see them goofing off and bumping into the cake, then trying to "fix" it before I see it, mangling the cake in the process.

Fifth scenario: many of the cousins (if this was a family party, which ours always are) would have mangled the cake at age 5. They have different (broader) boundaries than my kids have - I am the strict one of the family- and, based on similar past situations, their parents probably would have laughed and thought it was cute that their kid has no self-control not to touch the cake.

To each their own....and the lesson here is to keep the cake away from all little hands if you don't want it ruined before blowing out the candles.

- 95% likely there was no malicious intent on the part of the 5 year old. Just a whole lot of lax boundaries. But that is not anything you can do anything about. Just keep the cake up high next time.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

How this relates to Disney? The object being discussed was an Olaf themed birthday cake.

Although it doesn't have to do with "tips and information for anyone visiting Disney with families of all types and ages".

But then again, I've given up complaining about the amount of OT threads on this subforum.

 

[SEA333]

Although it doesn't have to do with "tips and information for anyone visiting Disney with families of all types and ages".

But then again, I've given up complaining about the amount of OT threads on this subforum.

Given up *after* this particular mini-rant, or are you 'just sayin'....??!!

"Let it go...let it go-o!!!"

 

[ajwolfe]

How this relates to Disney? The object being discussed was an Olaf themed birthday cake.

A not quite 6 year old is told specifically to not touch something, they proceed to mangle what they were told to not touch.
Typical soon to be 6 years old behavior, or slightly cruel?
Incident occurred when kid was 5 years, 7 months old. Highly likely that a not quite 8 year old witnessed the mangling.
Thoughts? Please

I think you need to provide a whole lot more info before a person can give their thoughts. And I think there has to be a whole lot more to this story if you are choosing the word "cruel" to describe what a 5 1/2 year old child did.

 

[MamaBearJohnson]

What's the end game here?

If the consensus says the child was being crueled, you're able to call up your sister-in-law or neighbor or whomever and let them know they need to do something about their bratty child before they become a serious disgrace to society?

If the anonymous online posters say it's normal behavior, you huff and puff about how society is going to heck and how your child would never do that?

I understand the desire for validation, just not sure what difference it makes. What's done is done. How you react to it can either make it the "worst disaster a birthday party has ever seen and the whole day is ruined" or "oopsies! So-and-so got a little upset and Olaf fell apart. That happened in the movie! Good thing he's used to falling apart!" and life goes on.

I teach kindergarteners at a lovely, structured, wholesome family, private school and I can say that every single one of my students would do something like that depending on the circumstances. It'd just be different triggers for each of them. 5/6 year olds have very little impulse control and very strong emotions.

 

[Sadie22]

In the movie Olav comes apart. I can imagine a five year old wanting to see how an Olav on a cake (or anywhere) comes apart and expecting to be able to put it back together. No five year old I know knows anything about the properties of fondant. Assuming any sort of malicious intent is misplaced.

 

[mrsbicewdw]

Using the word "mangled" to describe a broken fondant snowman is a little overkill unless the kid picked up and hulk-smashed the whole darn cake, making it inedible. This makes me assume that the OP is the person who paid for the cake, or made it.

This isn't out of the ordinary behavior for a five year old (who is not "almost six", child development doesn't work that way; a couple months can make huge differences in reasoning and reactions). The child could have been curious and not have great impulse control yet (that is actually an area of the brain that has to develop, not a magical skill), or thought it was a toy since five year olds don't understand fondant or cake making, or they accidentally got close and bumped it and then tried to fix it, or maybe they were jealous but didn't know how to express it in a better way (I know adults who can't either).

As I said, unless this kid picked up the whole cake plate and smashed it and stomped in it, I don't think the word "cruel" needs to be thrown around. A five year old is going to have lapses in judgement or accidents - just like anyone else.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Given up *after* this particular mini-rant, or are you 'just sayin'....??!!

"Let it go...let it go-o!!!"

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. Gave up a few years ago griping about it.


... Mostly.

 

[AC7179]

I wonder if the kid didn't think it was a toy like the cake toppers on the (cheaper) cakes that are just plastic toys?

 

[Oakenshield]

Using the word "mangled" to describe a broken fondant snowman is a little overkill unless the kid picked up and hulk-smashed the whole darn cake, making it inedible. This makes me assume that the OP is the person who paid for the cake, or made it.

This isn't out of the ordinary behavior for a five year old (who is not "almost six", child development doesn't work that way; a couple months can make huge differences in reasoning and reactions). The child could have been curious and not have great impulse control yet (that is actually an area of the brain that has to develop, not a magical skill), or thought it was a toy since five year olds don't understand fondant or cake making, or they accidentally got close and bumped it and then tried to fix it, or maybe they were jealous but didn't know how to express it in a better way (I know adults who can't either).

As I said, unless this kid picked up the whole cake plate and smashed it and stomped in it, I don't think the word "cruel" needs to be thrown around. A five year old is going to have lapses in judgement or accidents - just like anyone else.

THIS. THIS. THIS. All. Of. This.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

What's the end game here?

If the consensus says the child was being crueled, you're able to call up your sister-in-law or neighbor or whomever and let them know they need to do something about their bratty child before they become a serious disgrace to society?

If the anonymous online posters say it's normal behavior, you huff and puff about how society is going to heck and how your child would never do that?

I understand the desire for validation, just not sure what difference it makes. What's done is done. How you react to it can either make it the "worst disaster a birthday party has ever seen and the whole day is ruined" or "oopsies! So-and-so got a little upset and Olaf fell apart. That happened in the movie! Good thing he's used to falling apart!" and life goes on.

I teach kindergarteners at a lovely, structured, wholesome family, private school and I can say that every single one of my students would do something like that depending on the circumstances. It'd just be different triggers for each of them. 5/6 year olds have very little impulse control and very strong emotions.

Exactly. Some posters here have been really harsh.