OMG - That Duggar woman is pregnant again

[gaelic grace]

My grandmother was from a family of 20. She was a twin and they were the oldest girls. They also employed the "buddy" system. You have never seen a closer family. She was responsible for laundry and believe me there weren't four brand new washers to do it in. It was a big pot over a fire and then wrung by hand and hung up and that was only one day of the week. A better woman never walked the face of the earth.

I think it's a bit crazy to say they do none of the childcare. Obviously their children are depended on alot but I don't see them sitting around not doing anything. I'm sure the hours they spend helping with the children are much worse than the hours the average american child spends sitting in front of the tv or playing video games. They have also shown the kids outside playing basketball, in the house playing pool etc., As for their house there were donations for the inside but the house was built by them and they were debt free long before TLC or Discovery came along. Now they are making money from endorsements and I can't blame them but somehow I don't think 20 years ago they hatched this plan to have alot of children so they would get the attention of a tv channel that didn't exist and make some money. As for using the earth's resources they probably use less of them than the average family of 4 or 5. Their clothing and toys etc., are purchased second hand as are their vehicles. They make most of their food from scratch rather than using the boxed or take out food that many of use.

I mean come on. They support themselves. They probably spend more time together than the average family and maybe most of it isn't one-on-one. I think one-on-one time is a product of this generation and I'm not sure if even that isn't a stretch. I don't think most families spend alot of one-on-one time with their kids. The average family has their children in someone else's care 8-10 hours a day and then spends the few remaining hours doing all the household responsibilities and their are some great parents doing it. Ease up and spend the time worrying about the kids who don't have parents engaged in their lives.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

That is what you see on a very edited TV show. You do not know if that is the case. And if it is, what does the number of kids have anything to do with anything? On one hand you have people complaining she doesn't parent properly and then those same people are complaining she might die and live those kids without a mother. OK, make up your mind--If she is not "an approved" mother, why do you want her mothering?

And who is the person that gets to decide exactly what the "right" parenting is and who is wrong in their parenting style?

I think this is what most people are irritated/concerned over. I could be wrong but I'll go out on a limb here. I don't care if she has 40 kids. I love kids. I have 4 and would gladly have more. I understand that tv is a lot of creative editing. I am also sure that those kids (like every kid in the world) do not just smile and obey. I am sure there are moments of tantrums and sour faces. They are human. What strikes me is that when they interview her she is very candid about her whole buddy system. Once a child is weaned (around 6 months) they are given a buddy. That person gets them up in the morning, bathes them, dresses them, combs their hair and gets them breakfast. Michelle was very open about this. For me I do not think that is right. They are children. They should not be responsible for the primary amount of care for their siblings. This is no different than that whole Polygamy compound (minus the multiple wife thing). As for her having child upon child, well doctors have told her that it is very dangerous to keep having children. She has said this and doctors have refused to treat her because of it. Isn't that somewhat irresponsible of her and JimBob? Isn't part of being a parent (no matter what kind of parenting style you have) being in good health to the best of your ability? I don't care how they wear their hair or how they dress- yes I find some of it odd- but hey, I'm no fashionista. It just seems that while I think they all love each other, the lines of parent have gotten very blurred there. Does that make a little more sense? It's hard to write exactly what I am trying to convey.

 

[lpoeppelman]

I come from a family of 9 kids. I was that youngest, but I remember my mom taking an extremely active role in raising me. I don't really remember my sisters taking care of me. I still find this amazing. I don't know how my mom did it. I have four kids and I am constantly asking my oldest to help me out with the babies! Although I never felt like I missed out on anything growing up, I probably would have had more "things".... like strawberry shortcake dolls or babies that actually had all their body parts on them rather than all the hand-me-down toys I grew up with. But these kids must have really missed a lot growing up if they never even get to go out of the house. How sad!

 

[nessz79]

I think this is what most people are irritated/concerned over. I could be wrong but I'll go out on a limb here. I don't care if she has 40 kids. I love kids. I have 4 and would gladly have more. I understand that tv is a lot of creative editing. I am also sure that those kids (like every kid in the world) do not just smile and obey. I am sure there are moments of tantrums and sour faces. They are human. What strikes me is that when they interview her she is very candid about her whole buddy system. Once a child is weaned (around 6 months) they are given a buddy. That person gets them up in the morning, bathes them, dresses them, combs their hair and gets them breakfast. Michelle was very open about this. For me I do not think that is right. They are children. They should not be responsible for the primary amount of care for their siblings. This is no different than that whole Polygamy compound (minus the multiple wife thing). As for her having child upon child, well doctors have told her that it is very dangerous to keep having children. She has said this and doctors have refused to treat her because of it. Isn't that somewhat irresponsible of her and JimBob? Isn't part of being a parent (no matter what kind of parenting style you have) being in good health to the best of your ability? I don't care how they wear their hair or how they dress- yes I find some of it odd- but hey, I'm no fashionista. It just seems that while I think they all love each other, the lines of parent have gotten very blurred there. Does that make a little more sense? It's hard to write exactly what I am trying to convey.

I understand what you're saying. However, it's only been recently that our children have had sooooooo much free time. And it doesn't appear to always be beneficial. I think someone brought up how much video games, tv, etc our children watch today. I have 2 boys and although they don't play lots of video games, etc, I do think that they would be very happy to have more responsibilities around the house.

I do think they are very different from the polygamy compound. I was watching an interview with a woman who used to be from a polygamy compound. She had many children and managed to escape the compound. The compound is VERY oppressive. You are not allowed to leave the compound, outsiders are looked on very suspiciously (Duggars obviously don't have a problem with that). One thing that struck me is that the women are encouraged to be very aloof with their children. Mother-child affection is discouraged. I just don't see this with the Duggars.

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

I think some people feel if you dont' fit into the NORMAL society then there is something obviously wrong. I think that the modesty in their dress is a wonderful thing and more people should dress modestly. You can see the love they have for one another in the shows. The buddy system is what works for them and you will see that in alot of large families. Just because it doesn't work for some doesn't mean it is wrong. I wish I were able to have more children.

 

[higgy66]

As a UK member I haven't seen the show.

I used to "frown" upon families of 8+ but then I saw a documentary a couple of years ago following families of 12+ and I had to eat my words.

Yes the kids did help out more around the house than perhaps you're average kids but they were such lovely kids.

The parents did all the wasing/ironing etc with the older children helping out supervising the younger children.

yes - it could have been clever editing but the kids all seemed to get on - sometimes 4 or more shared a bedroom but they just accepted this and were happy to do so.

I definitely changed my point of view regarding large families and hats off to them. I LOVE looking after my 2 young children but the thought of more would turn me grey!

 

[KerriL]

They make most of their food from scratch rather than using the boxed or take out food that many of use.

I don't know about this statement, from what I've glimpsed at on just one episode their pantry looks like a grocery store with lots of prepared and canned food. It would almost have to be. It would be quite a chore to be preparing all fresh vegtables for dinner...especially if the kids were doing it
Yeah, that "Tater Tot Casserole" , I would not consider that food from scratch!! Yuck! lol

 

[KerriL]

I think some people feel if you dont' fit into the NORMAL society then there is something obviously wrong. I think that the modesty in their dress is a wonderful thing and more people should dress modestly. You can see the love they have for one another in the shows. The buddy system is what works for them and you will see that in alot of large families. Just because it doesn't work for some doesn't mean it is wrong. I wish I were able to have more children.

I do agree in some cases, like at the beach. I really don't want to see anyone's bum in a thong!! But this may be overkill....
Here, check it out. It's a link that was on the Duggar's website.
http://www.wholesomewear.com
To each his own....

 

[rt2dz]

Apparently the Texas judicial system.

I think there is a huge difference between family size and 50 year old men having sex with 14 year old girls. There are no laws saying what type of playdates your kids should have, but every state has laws against statutory rape and multiple spouses. The TX incident had nothing to do with their clothes and hair, but the in-breeding (another 50 state law broken), the physical abuse, and girls (sometimes being forced) having sex below the age of consent.

 

[kim_o]

no relatives with dark secrets,

There are rumors...

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I understand what you're saying. However, it's only been recently that our children have had sooooooo much free time. And it doesn't appear to always be beneficial. I think someone brought up how much video games, tv, etc our children watch today. I have 2 boys and although they don't play lots of video games, etc, I do think that they would be very happy to have more responsibilities around the house.

I do think they are very different from the polygamy compound. I was watching an interview with a woman who used to be from a polygamy compound. She had many children and managed to escape the compound. The compound is VERY oppressive. You are not allowed to leave the compound, outsiders are looked on very suspiciously (Duggars obviously don't have a problem with that). One thing that struck me is that the women are encouraged to be very aloof with their children. Mother-child affection is discouraged. I just don't see this with the Duggars.

I think I get what you are saying.

 

[rt2dz]

I think this is what most people are irritated/concerned over. I could be wrong but I'll go out on a limb here. I don't care if she has 40 kids. I love kids. I have 4 and would gladly have more. I understand that tv is a lot of creative editing. I am also sure that those kids (like every kid in the world) do not just smile and obey. I am sure there are moments of tantrums and sour faces. They are human. What strikes me is that when they interview her she is very candid about her whole buddy system. Once a child is weaned (around 6 months) they are given a buddy. That person gets them up in the morning, bathes them, dresses them, combs their hair and gets them breakfast. Michelle was very open about this. For me I do not think that is right. They are children. They should not be responsible for the primary amount of care for their siblings. This is no different than that whole Polygamy compound (minus the multiple wife thing). As for her having child upon child, well doctors have told her that it is very dangerous to keep having children. She has said this and doctors have refused to treat her because of it. Isn't that somewhat irresponsible of her and JimBob? Isn't part of being a parent (no matter what kind of parenting style you have) being in good health to the best of your ability? I don't care how they wear their hair or how they dress- yes I find some of it odd- but hey, I'm no fashionista. It just seems that while I think they all love each other, the lines of parent have gotten very blurred there. Does that make a little more sense? It's hard to write exactly what I am trying to convey.

What I don't get is why people are saying the buddy system is so wrong. It used to be very typical that the kids did a huge portion of the chores. I don't have one child care for another child, but they do help out in the house. Just because I don't do something doesn't make it wrong for someone else too. Another poster said it, and I think I did too (sometimes I just decide not to post my thoughts, so it might have been a scratched post), parenting doesn't happen in the mechanics. There are tons of kids who are cared for by nannies rather than the parents. Are they awful parents? Be careful what you say; I'm sure there are a lot of those parents on the DIS who might actually be able to defend themselves.

 

[mpls_mm]

I think this is what most people are irritated/concerned over. I could be wrong but I'll go out on a limb here. I don't care if she has 40 kids. I love kids. I have 4 and would gladly have more. I understand that tv is a lot of creative editing. I am also sure that those kids (like every kid in the world) do not just smile and obey. I am sure there are moments of tantrums and sour faces. They are human. What strikes me is that when they interview her she is very candid about her whole buddy system. Once a child is weaned (around 6 months) they are given a buddy. That person gets them up in the morning, bathes them, dresses them, combs their hair and gets them breakfast. Michelle was very open about this. For me I do not think that is right. They are children. They should not be responsible for the primary amount of care for their siblings. This is no different than that whole Polygamy compound (minus the multiple wife thing). As for her having child upon child, well doctors have told her that it is very dangerous to keep having children. She has said this and doctors have refused to treat her because of it. Isn't that somewhat irresponsible of her and JimBob? Isn't part of being a parent (no matter what kind of parenting style you have) being in good health to the best of your ability? I don't care how they wear their hair or how they dress- yes I find some of it odd- but hey, I'm no fashionista. It just seems that while I think they all love each other, the lines of parent have gotten very blurred there. Does that make a little more sense? It's hard to write exactly what I am trying to convey.

So as parents we are not ever socially irresponsible? No one smokes? No one is overweight? We don't make bad food choices and clog our arteries? Those are risky choices 24/7.

 

[caroline1851]

that's ridiculous. The older kids are assigned a younger kid....SO WRONG! Homeschooling all of them? Overpopulation?

 

[Disneygirl26]

Ok I think I'll add my 2 cents, I really don't think that people are upset that she has 18 kids to each their own, I just don’t see that kids are that happy I think that’s what they want us to believe but I think if given a chance to be candid they would say they rather not have anymore brothers and sisters. I’ve seen the show and I believe the younger kids are probably are genuinely happy kids but what about the older ones, you can not convince me that they enjoy having to be responsible for a baby that’s not theirs. I agree kids should do chores but, what about time to have friends other than your family. At what age are the kids allowed to leave home and start their own family maybe get a job, or go to collage. What skills are the children being taught besides being mommies and daddies? I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a stay at home parent, but are they teaching there kids anything else do they have the option to go to college because they never talk about what are the future of the kids that’s my concern.

 

[Amirah95]

Ok I think I'll add my 2 cents, I really don't think that people are upset that she has 18 kids to each their own, I just don’t see that kids are that happy I think that’s what they want us to believe but I think if given a chance to be candid they would say they rather not have anymore brothers and sisters. I’ve seen the show and I believe the younger kids are probably are genuinely happy kids but what about the older ones, you can not convince me that they enjoy having to be responsible for a baby that’s not theirs. I agree kids should do chores but, what about time to have friends other than your family. At what age are the kids allowed to leave home and start their own family maybe get a job, or go to collage. What skills are the children being taught besides being mommies and daddies? I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a stay at home parent, but are they teaching there kids anything else do they have the option to go to college because they never talk about what are the future of the kids that’s my concern.

I've always wondered about the oldest boy who is 20 years old in regard to this ^.

There is another show...I forget their name and they seem to be more like my family but I think they have like 16 or 17 kids too, but the feeling in their home seems to "feel" different than the Dugger's home. The older boys would go and work with their dad away from home. One of their daughters had a hand and foot disorder. I wish I could remember their name. Their show used to come on the same network. Someone help me out here.

 

[mom2prettyprincess]

I totally agree with you disney26....First of all, the 20 year old still lives at home and doesn't have a job or go to school? That is not really in my opinion producing a productive member of society. I think it is truly doing a diservice to your children not to let them exprience things that most american kids get to exprience, going to the movies with your friends, having your first job as a teenager, going to school dances, prom, graduation. When I found out she was pregnant again I thought why would you even think that it is your duty to produce that amount of children, and we will continue to procreate as long as god is willing to bless us with babies! Give me a break!!!! This to me is a publicity thing. Only hours of giving birth to her 17th child she was on national TV. Ummm.....not the picture I paint of a god fearing family who is doing Gods work. That to me is a picture of a family who needs the money and can't afford to unless they have the tv specials. There is going to be a point when those babies may start to be babies that will have special needs the odds are not stacked in their favor the older they are getting. And what happens when another baby comes along after a special needs child may be born...Will that one to also get passed on to a sibling to be shoved into the buddy system! Enough is Enough! I mean come on when it gets to the point that your children are paired up to take care of the kids so you can have more babies..That is when I think you have lost sight of what a family is all about, to me that is a factory. Flame me all you want with this response but, it really just makes me wonder what the meaning of family really is to them? Because family to me is not all about having all the babies I can have! There is NO possible way they can even spend quality time with the children! Those kids are just getting lost in the shuffle. I mean comeon...when they purchased the piece of land that they live on now, the dad had envisioned each one of the children being able to build a house on the land and living there with there families? To me that seems much like overkill, a control issue and kind of a weird cult like thing!

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I didn't take the time to read through all the posts because I just don't have time being a busy mom myself.

This is my $.02:

I couldn't imagine giving birth to 18 children. That's just not for me even if I could give birth. Adoption is our only option.

Anyhow...I must say in defense of this family that I think it is very courageous of them to want to bring 18 children into this world. Their children seem to be extremely bright, well-rounded and polite children. But this also seems to be the case with all the families I know who have home schooled their children. Most of my friends who have 4+ kids have home schooled because they couldn't afford to send their kids to private schools and I am just amazed at how much ahead of the curve home schooled kids are.

We are a military family and our squadron commander is one of 13 children. He is also an identical twin whose brother is stationed here as well. He is the most kind, thoughtful person I have met in a long time and because he comes from a very large family he really does a great job taking care of his military family and makes sure he can do whatever it takes to help all of us out.

Although I'll be lucky to adopt 2 or 3 children total, I wish I could have a bigger family. Most of my friends are from families of 4 children or more and they're amazing people. I don't always understand people who say that a family doesn't need more children. So you don't want that many. That does not give you the right to belittle a family who wants lots of children especially if they have the means to take care of them.

And to those who have said the Duggar's are just in it for the money. Well, they didn't make a big deal out of their choice. The news outlets sought them out to chronicle their lives and make a big deal out of their large family. I know they could've said, "No we're not interested" but I think they just want people to know that big families work. I'm sure what ever monetary amount they get helps with raising that many children but they seem to be a very humble family that takes nothing for granted. I think more people in this world need to be like that.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

What I don't get is why people are saying the buddy system is so wrong. It used to be very typical that the kids did a huge portion of the chores. I don't have one child care for another child, but they do help out in the house. Just because I don't do something doesn't make it wrong for someone else too. Another poster said it, and I think I did too (sometimes I just decide not to post my thoughts, so it might have been a scratched post), parenting doesn't happen in the mechanics. There are tons of kids who are cared for by nannies rather than the parents. Are they awful parents? Be careful what you say; I'm sure there are a lot of those parents on the DIS who might actually be able to defend themselves.

I bolded. Look, my kids help out at home also. We are a family and we work together. I would venture to guess that most families are the same way. The issue -for me anyway- is that it is more than just household chores or the watching a sibling while Mommy showers stuff. The "buddy" assumes most of the care for the child. That "buddy" is a child. Not a Nanny or Babysitter or hired help if you will. I feel sad that a child has to have so much responsibility. That I think is pretty much what I mean by it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

So as parents we are not ever socially irresponsible? No one smokes? No one is overweight? We don't make bad food choices and clog our arteries? Those are risky choices 24/7.

I am sure that all of us make risky choices at some point in our lives. That is what makes us human. However, if you are told that you need to change or you will die wouldn't you change? If not then I would think the same of you that I think of someone who has been told that having a child is a severe health risk for them.