Jeff,
Don't you worry, if you are chosen as the Speedo wearer I will make sure to bring along a might fine Speedo for you. And if Malcom wants one then I can give you two, you can trade tassels, or hang them wherever your little heart desires, and then give him one of them.
We all will make sure you feel reeeeaaaaallll comfortable in the Speedo, no one will make fun of you, I promise.
And, if you do the Speedo modeling, then they will have to pick on, sorry, choose someone else to pray to the gods. You would have done enough entertaining for the entire weekend. Peggie