OK, super embarrassing, but so funny! AKA:The Fart Thread

[hydster]

I posted this on the mortified thread but I was told by Laurie31 to post it here so I decided it's funny enough to post it! Hopefully it's ok to do so!

My FIL is so soft spoken and is a really great guy. He was in the grocery store a year or so ago in the "cheese" aisle of all places *I kid you not* and he looks to the left and then the right. Decides he's got the all clear so he forces out this nasty sounding fart.

My fil is partially deaf thanks to construction but he thinks he's gotten away with it when he turns around to walk up the aisle and there is a woman who was bent down looking at the cheese products behind him and was at the exact height as my FIL'S behind and took the "brunt of it". She stood there looking at him with these wide eyes . He was so mortified but we still just thinking about it.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

I remember tis thread and everytime I see it I read and laugh but dont post in fear of someone that knows my Dh and I will read it ....
But I have to post the 1st fart story

We were dating and we were pulling my horse trailer to a event . Now this man has never seen me compete or seen me with my horse ( that is a site to see trust me LOL) So I am already nervous I have my dog with us , he is standing between us in the truck and I smell something BAD . I tried to ignore it but it is really bad and all I can think is this dog has farted and now this guy will think it was me . So I tell him I am sorry I guess my dog is not well . He just kinda looks at me with a blank look on his face. I then say to him that he must have "broke wind" and my Dh looks at me and says WITH NO SMILE " Oh no that was me I FARTED" then asked me where I learned to pull a trailer and if it was hard bawwhwhahaaa
Now why did I marry him again ?

 

[mommiepoppins]

lol Every time I am on the computer my dd 4 always ask's me are you laughing at the farts.. I have spent so much time laughing at this thread

 

[HollyTyler]

I posted this on the mortified thread but I was told by Laurie31 to post it here so I decided it's funny enough to post it! Hopefully it's ok to do so!

My FIL is so soft spoken and is a really great guy. He was in the grocery store a year or so ago in the "cheese" aisle of all places *I kid you not* and he looks to the left and then the right. Decides he's got the all clear so he forces out this nasty sounding fart.

My fil is partially deaf thanks to construction but he thinks he's gotten away with it when he turns around to walk up the aisle and there is a woman who was bent down looking at the cheese products behind him and was at the exact height as my FIL'S behind and took the "brunt of it". She stood there looking at him with these wide eyes . He was so mortified but we still just thinking about it.

I can just imagine the shock of the woman at target level!!!

 

[arminnie]

Here's a post that I was reading from an online forum complaining about the utility company hikes.

If you continue to charge me extreme amounts for electric,I will be forced to eat mexican cuisine everyday. Since I get gassy when Ive had spicy food, you would do well to know that when I pass wind, I can emit more BTUs of heat than your expensive imported electric. And it will only cost me 1.99 a taco per 30 mins versus your .50304 every second. Think about that!! and what the heck is a fuel surcharge????

 

[sunsprinkle24]

My sons best friend bought a fart machine at Spencers. My son came home laughing hysterically - they took it to the library. I dont know if all fart machines are like this, but this one has a "remote control" .

So DS friend puts the machine in his back pocket and my son takes the controller. Friend goes to the desk and asks a question, and DS hits the button. Out comes a loud fart. They said the librarian looked shocked. DS Friend says, "sorry we had beans for lunch at school." Then walks off.

He walked among the stacks of books and ever so often DS would hit the button, I guess they gave themselves away cause finally the librarian came up to DS Friend and said "ok you need to stop."

Friend says hes taking it to walmart next and using it in the dressing rooms.

 

[MouseJunkie]

Hey this thread blows........get it??? ha ha What kind of mood did I wake up in today??? One never knows...

 

[HollyTyler]

My sons best friend bought a fart machine at Spencers. My son came home laughing hysterically - they took it to the library. I dont know if all fart machines are like this, but this one has a "remote control" .

So DS friend puts the machine in his back pocket and my son takes the controller. Friend goes to the desk and asks a question, and DS hits the button. Out comes a loud fart. They said the librarian looked shocked. DS Friend says, "sorry we had beans for lunch at school." Then walks off.

He walked among the stacks of books and ever so often DS would hit the button, I guess they gave themselves away cause finally the librarian came up to DS Friend and said "ok you need to stop."

Friend says hes taking it to walmart next and using it in the dressing rooms.

How funny! Perfect example of boys being boys!!!

 

[goofygirl]

Thought I'd bump this in honor of Corned Beef and Cabbage Day!!

Happy St. Patty's!!

 

[ElizaB39]

I was working in a communal office one day and those of us that were temporary empoyees were sitting on metal folding chairs. One day, Abe lets out a FART and it reverberated on the metal chair and it was an amplified sound! I just sat and prayed that noone would look at me and I was biting the insides of my cheeks to not LOL. When I was walking at lunch that day with Barb, she primly asked me, "Did Abe have a GAS PAIN today?" She was smiliing and I just LOST IT! I said, "No, Barb, ABE FARTED!" We were screaming we were laughing so hard!

Farts are always funny!

 

[ferris198]

I was wondering where this thread was, glad it's back

 

[ElizaB39]

My son was staying at his grandparents one night last year. He burped as he was walking by his grammie. She said in a stern type of voice, "DGS, what goes along with that (thinking he would say excuse me)?" DS says innocently, "A fart?!"

They couldn't talk they were laughing so hard! We still get a giggle out of that one!

 

[ElizaB39]

When same DS was younger, a lot younger, he farted and I said," DS, was that a fart?" He said, "No, that was my butt talking to you!"

 

[HollyTyler]

YAY! The fart thread is back! WOOHOO!

 

[MMGirl]

These are all cracking me up! I can barely breathe because I am laughing so hard!

 

[kmp1191]

(I go to Jenny Craig on Saturday morning.....)
Well, this morning my DD7 went with me. I'm sitting there talking to my counselor and my wonderful daughter lets one rip!!! I was shocked!! (not really....she does it all the time!) Anyway, my counselor looks at me and I said - "don't look at me...it was her!!!" My dd was just cracking up laughing!!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

(I go to Jenny Craig on Saturday morning.....)
Well, this morning my DD7 went with me. I'm sitting there talking to my counselor and my wonderful daughter lets one rip!!! I was shocked!! (not really....she does it all the time!) Anyway, my counselor looks at me and I said - "don't look at me...it was her!!!" My dd was just cracking up laughing!!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

YAY! The fart thread is back! WOOHOO!

Well, with all the corned beef and cabbage consumed today, I am sure we are going to have some new stories added to the fart thread. Thanks goofygirl!

ETA: nothing from me....YET.

 

[jmskinner]

My DH was home from leave just a couple of weeks ago and after we laid down to go to sleep, he let one rip and the dog jumped. I guess she forgot what it sounds like having him around.

Oh, and my mother will kill me for this one, but we were in a Mexican restaurant one day (many years ago) and when she was trying to get out of the booth, her foot got stuck. Well, I guess she strained or something because she farted. He butt was practically in the man behind hers face when she did it. I just looked at her and said did you ? and she is dying laughing at this point. So course she can't hold it in and so she farts several more times. We are crying at this point. The cashier is looking at us like we are stoned or something. We get out to the car and I say I am going to pee my pants. Poor Mom says, "I just did!".

 

[Disney1fan2002]

My DH was home from leave just a couple of weeks ago and after we laid down to go to sleep, he let one rip and the dog jumped. I guess she forgot what it sounds like having him around.

Oh, and my mother will kill me for this one, but we were in a Mexican restaurant one day (many years ago) and when she was trying to get out of the booth, her foot got stuck. Well, I guess she strained or something because she farted. He butt was practically in the man behind hers face when she did it. I just looked at her and said did you ? and she is dying laughing at this point. So course she can't hold it in and so she farts several more times. We are crying at this point. The cashier is looking at us like we are stoned or something. We get out to the car and I say I am going to pee my pants. Poor Mom says, "I just did!".

That must of been hysterical. I bet you crack up everytime you think about it!