OK, super embarrassing, but so funny! AKA:The Fart Thread

[starsandpixiedust]

i officially cannot read this thread any more becuase it gives me stomach aches i laugh so hard!

 

[HollyTyler]

Bumping for more stories! Somebody must have something funny to share after all the holiday food we've all been eating!

 

[Narnian_Princess]

Oh, my goodness! I am almost dying!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

HAPPY NEW YEAR my fart-loving friends!!!

What would the fart thread be without this little gem????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp-6XVgLCmU

 

[HollyTyler]

HAPPY NEW YEAR my fart-loving friends!!!

What would the fart thread be without this little gem????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp-6XVgLCmU

Always makes me laugh every time I see it!

 

[cinmell]

HAPPY NEW YEAR my fart-loving friends!!!

What would the fart thread be without this little gem????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp-6XVgLCmU

Love it!

 

[Tiggerific711]

OMG you guys have given me my best laugh of the day

My story was of my dear father(God rest his soul) drinking carrot juice one day. Carrot juice gave him the worst gas. He was getting ready for bed and let one rip. The noxious fumes were so bad that our poor cat came racing out of the bedroom as fast as he could, ran straight into the bathroom door and knocked himself out cold. Poor kitty stayed away from my dad after that.

OMG, this one really got me! I was laughing so hard I was almost screaming with tears rolling down my face that I scared my family. I think they're ready to have me committed...

 

[steffali]

I want you all to know that my DSis hates the word F A R T she won't say it and won't talk about it, she calls them Zippers or Nutts ????? So of course the first thing I did when I saw this thread was forward it right over to her

 

[crazyme5kids]

I can't believe it took me so long to read this thread! Guess it's the laxative I'm going to be taking in a few minutes for a colonoscopy I'm having tomorrow . Needless to say all my children have desserted me for other houses .

Anyway, I have one to share.

When I worked in retail there was an older man who had wicked gas problems. One very hot day the store set up those huge industrial size fans because the air conditioner wasn't working right. He was having a bad gas day so I was glad the fan was near me to quickly blow the smell away.

He finally moved away from me and went to put things away on the back wall shelves. I was so happy he was not near me and even happier he was up on a ladder leaving he oder up above.

Two women came up to the counter. I start ringing them up when all of a sudden there is the godawful stench!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swing my head around and see that he is still on the ladder. To my horror I realize that the fan was sucking his nasty killer gas in my direction . Now I'm standing there looking at these women looking at me. My eyes are as big as saucers and I am mouthing, "It wasn't me!".

I don't think they believed me though.

 

[ferris198]

Years ago, David Bowie played at a small club downtown. I got tickets for myself and hubby, aswell as my brother and his girlfriend.
For some reason, I decided that it might be wise to pack my fart spray as it was a general admission event.
We arrived and were near the back, but I secretly pushed the magic button and people started to move. They looked around for the offender, as did I, but we moved up.
I did this a few more times, and before you know it, we are right near the front of the stage.
My brothers girlfriend wasn't impressed, but hey I didn't like her anyway.

 

[Wishes2you]

OMG I am laughing and crying at the same time. DH just got upset and left the room because he is trying to concentrate on a game and I am laughing hesterically. I have a story but I will have to share another night. When I can see to write.

 

[HollyTyler]

Years ago, David Bowie played at a small club downtown. I got tickets for myself and hubby, aswell as my brother and his girlfriend.
For some reason, I decided that it might be wise to pack my fart spray as it was a general admission event.
We arrived and were near the back, but I secretly pushed the magic button and people started to move. They looked around for the offender, as did I, but we moved up.
I did this a few more times, and before you know it, we are right near the front of the stage.
My brothers girlfriend wasn't impressed, but hey I didn't like her anyway.

Hey, what a great idea! I'll have to remember that next time I'm going to be in a big crowd. Too funny!

 

[chell]

Years ago, David Bowie played at a small club downtown. I got tickets for myself and hubby, aswell as my brother and his girlfriend.
For some reason, I decided that it might be wise to pack my fart spray as it was a general admission event.
We arrived and were near the back, but I secretly pushed the magic button and people started to move. They looked around for the offender, as did I, but we moved up.
I did this a few more times, and before you know it, we are right near the front of the stage.
My brothers girlfriend wasn't impressed, but hey I didn't like her anyway.

Making mental note to self that I don't have to move when at a concert since it is probably someone trying to sneak their way to the front.

 

[ClaraBug]

I need my daily dose of fart fun.

 

[HollyTyler]

OK...just got back today from an 8 day Carnival cruise on the Liberty and I learned that in the casino, filled with smoke, it's not a problem if you have bad gas because the smoke completely kills gas smells! My friend who cruised with me thought I was absolutely nuts for even telling her that!

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

OMG I thought this thread was dead. Now I'm going to have to start reading it all over again.

 

[HollyTyler]

OMG I thought this thread was dead. Now I'm going to have to start reading it all over again.

Long live the fart thread!

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

Viva la Fart Thread!

Come on... someone has new fart stories. We know you do. Tell us all about it.

 

[HollyTyler]

This isn't as funny as most posts on here, but DS4 was shoveling with me this afternoon, and for some reason my shovel was working better if I used it just like a rake. Well, doing that made a sound you don't usually hear coming from shovels and he said, "Mom, it sounded just like your shovel tooted! Do it again!"

Like I said, not too funny, but at least it's something!

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Even the word "fart" makes me laugh... I'm hopeless.

DH is the master of all farts in our house and several years ago he bought this brand of underwear called "Munsing." He figured it was something German. Anyway, whenever someone gets gassy, he says, "Get da Munson Wear out." I guess b/c he's the king of all farts and the king farter wears Munsing wear...For awhile I "wore" the Munson Wear when I was 6 mos. pregnant with DD (now 5). I was at my mom's house, DS7 was with me (2 years old at the time). I had a terrible case of gas at this time and everyone was kind of gathered at the kichen table so I went in the next room, let one rip and lingered a little too long. DS and my mom came walking in at the same time and my mom says, "Uh oh, do I smell poopy pants????" I laughed so hard I was actually worried about damaging my baby. I had to finally admit after all the laughter that, uh, no, that was me.

DD went through a wonderful phase where she would shout out as loud as she could in the store, "Euuuuww Mom you farted!!!" even though I hadn't. I'm glad she's over that-that was sooo embarrassing!