Oh the guilt!

[ashleymrush]

Can someone tell me if I'm crazy or if I should listen to my guilt?! My DH and I are taking my first born DS to WDW for his 5th birthday in June. I have another DS that will be 3 weeks away from turning 2 when we go. I have been planning since before my first son was born to take him for his 5th birthday. We plan to do the same for our 2nd when he turns 5 as well. I have always just felt that 5 was the perfect age. With that said, 2 is not the perfect age IMO. We have always planned for our youngest to stay with Grandma (which she is more than happy to do) while we take our oldest. That way the trip can really be about our oldest and we won't have to deal with the tantrums and crazy schedule of a 2 year old in WDW in June. As the time gets closer though, my guilt is beginning to grow. We were watching a WDW video earlier and he just kept laughing and smiling everytime a character would come on the screen which was not helping the guilt. So in conclusion, should he stay or should he go? Anyone else only taken some children and left another at home? Any thoughts welcome.

 

[KristaMV]

Mommy guilt is tough.

With that being said, there is no way in the world that I would ever bring a 2yo to Disney, especially if the rest of you and your 5yo want to enjoy yourselves. I know many do bring much younger kids, I just personally wouldn't waste my time or money.

The 2yo will not care whether he's at Disney or playing with a cardboard box at Grandma's. He will not remember any sense of deprivation at not going. He may be upset at first when you leave, especially if he hasn't stayed with Grandma before, but that will pass and he'll have a great time.

It's hard enough to do Disney with 5yo kids. They are great at that age but still present challenges. Having to work around naps and tantrums will create more resentment from your older son not being able to do what he wants to do.

My vote is to stick with your original plan. Get your younger son a beautiful toy/plush/souvenir from Disney World and don't let yourself feel guilty and ruin the trip for yourself.

 

[PrncessA]

PP is right, mommy guilt is the worst. Here is our experience, we took our children when they were 2 & 4, we had a wonderful time and we wouldn't have done it any other way but.... DD (who was 2) took a lot of naps in the park, missed a lot of the characters and parades, and had a few melt downs. And did I mention that although she LOVED photos and videos of the characters, she was terrified of nearly every single one of them. Obviously she didn't get to ride any big attractions either. Now almost 5 years later she doesn't remember the trip at all, although she thinks she does due to the photos. We are going back this year and she will be 7 and old enough to have wonderful memories of this trip!

 

[Fantastic4]

Just curious if you will be taking the now 2 yr old by himself when he turns 5? I personally couldn't take just one unless I had plans of taking the other alone at some point.

 

[SmallWorld71]

I don't think you should feel guilty; you aren't doing anything wrong.

That said, many years ago, I took 5 and 2 year old boys to WDW for their first trip. They both loved it and we have some wonderful memories of that trip. I can't imagine having gone without our two year old; we would have spent so much time saying "oh, Joe would have loved that!" or "Joe would get a kick out of this" etc...

I suppose it depends on the kids, but I have always found 2 year olds easier overall at WDW than 5 year olds. They just nap in the stroller and don't have opinions about what you should do next. 5 years is a GREAT age for WDW, but it's a very demanding one also. They want to meet characters, ride all the rides etc...

Anyway, those boys are now 18 and almost 15 and they still like to hear stories about their first WDW trip. The 18 year old did not care that his brother was there and the 15 year old does not care that he can't remember.

If you are going to spend your whole trip missing your 2 year old, then take him. But, if you think he'd be a disaster to travel with, then don't. Either way, try to get rid of that guilt!

 

[nugov2]

We took our 2yr and it worked out great....because my mom was also there and took him from the parks at about 2 every day. He had no desire to return and was exhausted. We also went in June and it was 105, this made his exhaustion worse. He too loves all things WDW including his favorite, Mickey. He wouldn't go near them(weird b/c he sat on Santa and the Easter Bunny's lap). I had to hold him near every character in the photo. He disliked many of the rides and my poor mother rode Small World 999 times with him. My brother had his 2yr old twins with and they had a similar experience. There kids were done by 2 and never returned for the rest of the day/evening. They did enjoy more rides than my ds and were ok with many of the characters, but again they were just as happy floating in the pool.

Mommy guilt sucks...we all have it. Will you have it if you bring him and his meltdowns impact your 5 yr olds time...probably. It is there all the time no matter what we do. There are many things your 5 yr old will get to experience with just you and many things the 2 yr old will experience with just you. It isn't tit for tat...if you take one alone you must take the other alone or that isn't fair. It just is what it is. Sometimes my 3 yr(now) gets ice cream while the other two are at school...doesn't mean I need to run out and buy the older two ice cream when they get home to be "fair".

We just took a winter trip for a few days with the older and left the 3 yr old with Grandma and Papa. He wouldn't want to ice skate, sled or ski since he isn't a fan of being outside for long. Do I feel bad and miss him, yes...I know that it is the right thing though and that he is still having fun even if it isn't with us. I say go without him and in 3 yrs you will all have a great family trip together

 

[JillyBean1899]

Just curious if you will be taking the now 2 yr old by himself when he turns 5? I personally couldn't take just one unless I had plans of taking the other alone at some point.

I was thinking the same thing, just flipped. Because imagine your older child's reaction when he's told that he won't be going to Disney when he's what, 7, 8? He'll actually remember having to stay home for it, where the 2 year old really won't.

Maybe that's just cause I see things from the point of the older child's view, since I had a sister that was 2 years and 5 days younger than me (and yes, that meant we had *ALL* birthday parties as joint ones ... even when I turned 16).

 

[LuvGoofy6]

I went through the same decision a long time ago. My daughter was 5 and going on her second trip. My son was a year old and we decided to leave him with Grandma and Grandpa. I worried that he wouldn't have fun and it would be too hot (we went in June). We missed him terribly and wished we had taken him. I saw other little ones doing fine in strollers, taking naps, etc. My daughter missed him and kept pointing out things she felt he would have liked. Missing him did affect our visit some. Now 12 years later he looks at pictures and asks why we didn't take him. Everyone has to make their own decision based on their own family but if I had to do it over again, I would take him.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Leaving him would not be a choice we could make. There will be tons of toddlers at WDW and if you are feeling guilty now, it will be worst then. Besides....he's free now and how will you enjoy those family pictures of WDW without him in them. I vote to take him.

 

[Spunky946]

Yes two year olds nap but they are also free. I personally could not go with one and not take the other.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I would take the two year old. Mine have been going since they were two and I never had any issues. Plus, he can get in for free!, i couldn't leave one of that age at home. Leaving a newborn or just a little older is a different story because that's a lot of work, but a two year old can eat table food and nap in the stroller with ease so I would do it. We still get laughs from the pictures of my kids when they were that age at Disney. They are priceless!!

 

[Lindaland]

A nice compromise might be to take them both, but make sure you have special activities just for the 5 year old. Maybe even have outings with just one parent or the other so he still feels special but you wont be missing your little one either.

 

[DisneyDad728]

You should do what works for your family. Personally, I don't think I could leave a child at home. This comes from someone who only has one child, a 3 year old, who has been to WDW 4 times now. We took her at 9 mo, 21 months, 27 months, and 34 mo. She had a great time on each trip. At the same time, if you want to focus on your older child, that may be difficult with a 2 year old in tow. There were be attractions you 5 year old can experience that the 2 year old can't. With child swap, your 5 year old could ride twice but the whole family couldn't go together.

 

[tourguide81]

Yea, there's no way I'd go on a family trip like that w/o one of our family members. But, taking a 2 year old to Disney, or anywhere else, doesn't phase me. I've taken 2 year olds to Paris, London & Ireland - Disney is a breeze comparatively.

That said, I know you want to make it special for the 5 year old and there are plenty of things you or your spouse can do 1 on 1 w/ him. You could also hire childcare one day or night to do a few things w/ the 5 year old alone.

 

[Junebugwv]

Your plan sounds fine for your family. The younger one is blessed to have a grandma who wants to be with him.

 

[Junebugwv]

Your plan sounds fine for your family. The younger one is blessed to have a grandma who wants to be with him.

 

[BigAlsGal]

We took a vacation one year without our twin girls. They were way to little to enjoy disney or the beach and it would have stressed us all out attempting to. We left them with my mother at our house. My girls had a great time with my mother. Yes we missed them but it was nice giving our oldest some undivided attention. Try not to feel guilty.

 

[disneywalkers]

My now 2 year old has been 3 times already in her short life and talks about going again. I think it's an understatement to think a trip like WDW wouldn't be impactful for a 2 year old. We have 6 kids and although it's a lot of work and they vary in ages, I can't imagine leaving anyone out.

 

[kmb584]

By the time my DD turned 2 she had been to WDW 3 times and her 4th trip was just one month after her 3rd birthday. Personally, I wouldn't hesitate in taking your 2-year-old; it's such a magical age where Disney is concerned. Almost everything ilicits big smiles, giggles, and just an overall happiness. Some of my fondest memories are of DD toddling up to her favorite characters, talking to them in her toddler gibberish, etc. I wouldn't worry about naps as I think you may find your 5-year-old wanting one too. DD no longer naps at home but by mid-afternoon in the World, she's out cold in her stroller. To make the trip special for your 5-year-old I'd simply schedule special things - mommy/daddy and son afternoon, maybe the Pirates & Pals fireworks cruise, etc.

 

[ashleymrush]

Just curious if you will be taking the now 2 yr old by himself when he turns 5? I personally couldn't take just one unless I had plans of taking the other alone at some point.

We haven't decided yet. I've given thought to taking him alone but it will be a lot harder to tell an 8 year old that he's not going than a two year old that won't know the difference. Whenn we go when DS2 turns 5 we will probably go for our first full family trip. We'll just have to wait and see though. The thought has crossed my mind for both options.