Not teacher bashing! (long)

[packetminnie]

I'm not teacher bashing. DFIL was a high school teacher. I went to curriculum night last night and the same things that happened last year are happening again.

Last year my DS's teacher and I had a long talk at the beginning of the year and we brought in the school counselor cuz ds(8 at the time) was not completing his schoolworkl and I didn't find out till the end of the school year. His 2nd grade teacher said she would keep me informed, she would either email me or talk to me in class after I finished my weekly volunteering. The counselor would stay on top of things. Everything worked out great for a month or so -- we had another meeting with the counselor -- she would not be observing him in class anymore, only if we (the teacher or I) felt it was necessary. Everything appeared to be going well. DS would bring home papers with stickers and stars and smiley faces and nothing was said to me when I came into the classroom every week. DS was saying everything is fine, he has had to stay in a couple of recesses now and then to complete work but not everyday. I think everything is fine. He is only bringing unfinished work home occasionally and he is not staying in at recess to finish work and the work he brings home every Friday has great written on it and when I go in every week the teacher is all smiles. At the end of April I had missed a week due to family problems, and I hadn't been home to talk to DS when he came home from school due to those family problems, so I asked the teacher how things were. She pulls out this huge file folder of work he hasn't completed!!! Some of it dating back to the beginning of the school year! I was livid!! Then she proceeds to tell me how worried she is about DS and we should have a neuro exam done on him immediately. (We did get a neuro exam done on him by a pediatric neurologist but the first apptmnt we could get was in August and DS is fine.) I ran straight to his counselor wanting to know what was going on. The teacher hadn't talked to her either about DS, they had had several meetings about another student so the counselor had no clue why she would not have talked to her about DS. Counselor said she would talk to teacher and contact me later. Counselor did contact me later and all she would tell me was she would select DS's teacher for the next year and told me not to worry my DS was a very intelligent, bright child who needed a lot of classroom stimulation that maybe he wasn't getting. No explanation for the folder of work not done and no explanation of why she waited until almost the end of the school year.

This school year. I contact the counselor before school starts we select a teacher. She explains the positives and negatives of the teachers as she sees them and we agree on a teacher. I meet with the teacher. We discuss last year at length. I stress the problem I had with previous teacher is the lack of communication about DS and his completing school assignments. We agree if something isn't completed that day during class it would be sent home. Everyone agreed to keep in contach. I have had sveral emails from couselor asking how things are. In her last email she said things must be good cuz haven't heard anything from teacher. DS says not staying in at recess and while he isn't completing his morning work in the morning he is staying in or doing during free time in the afternoon.

Went to curriculum night, work not done!! Why wasn't I informed??? Teacher is busy has many students but DS is a joy to have in class. Teacher wants to know how to motivate DS to do his work. I haven't a clue what to tell her I am dumbfounded. I remind her that we had agreed any work not done was to be sent home and she was supposed to contact the counselor if there were problems. She thought DS and she could work them out.


I don't understand. DH doesn't understand, he couldn't be there last night and anytime he was with me the teacher from last year never said a word about DH and work not being completed. If it weren't for all the papers I made DS complete last year I'm not sure he wouldn't think I was blowing this out of proportion.

Any comments??

 

[Christine]

I feel your pain. Honestly, I think this kind of stuff is too much for the teachers to keep up with. I don't think there is any bad intent on the teacher's part. I think they are just probably overworked. But, I agree, there needs to be some way to effectively let you know that the work is not getting done.

 

[Wishing on a star]

First, how long has school been in session? How long have this been going on without any contact from the teacher? I will refrain from commenting on the teachers response, or lack of, until there is a bit more info.

I would be concerned about your son if this seems to be an ongoing problem. I would be more concerned about my son than I would the teacher. Obviously you have good contact with the counselor, so if you have not heard from the teacher, you could probably ask the counselor to check on the work situation for you. I so no problem with you taking a bit of initiiative.

You mentioned that your son had seen a Neurologist and had some kind of evaluation. What kind of evaluation(s) were done? What were they looking for? Aren't possible learning disabilities usually evaluated by Child Psychologist? Hhhhhmmm?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Without teacher bashing I would say become PROACTIVE...

Get your child an assignment book that has to be signed daily by the teachers and yourself. Set up a system of checks and balances.
Make consequences at home for rules regarding homework and getting things signed.
Get your child tested for learning disabilities.
Make sure things are organized at home. Enforce strict rules of your DS getting prepared for school.

 

[Annie68]

My district hands out Assignment journals to every student, which the students fill in daily. If something is late, the teacher highlights that assignment. They encourage parents to check it every evening. If your school doesn't offer this, perhaps the teacher would be willing to participate if you purchased one for your child?

 

[In a hurry]

Without teacher bashing I would say become PROACTIVE...

Get your child an assignment book that has to be signed daily by the teachers and yourself. Set up a system of checks and balances.
Make consequences at home for rules regarding homework and getting things signed.
Get your child tested for learning disabilities.
Make sure things are organized at home. Enforce strict rules of your DS getting prepared for school.

This is a very good idea. It is easy to deal with for all 3 of you.

Try to be careful about the consequences. Don't take away everything, or all free time. That always seems to backfire with a more stressed kid, etc. (My opinion, of course.)

If you aren't satisfied with the schools testing options or outcomes, find a Psychologist well versed in working with kids and schools.

 

[INDISMOM]

I think the counselor also holds some responsibility. Yes, the teacher was suppose to notify the counselor, but shouldn't the counselor have been checking too? In your post you said the counselor sent you a note that things must be going well because she hadn't heard from the teacher, BUT did the counselor ever ask specifically about your son and his work?


If it were one of my DD's I would probably email, call, or stop by at least weekly (if not more) to check in with the teacher AND the counselor. I am not sure how your school/teacher does things, but on Fridays every teacher by oldest DD had (in 3rd grade now) would send home all of the homework papers and the papers they did in class. If something wasn't done it was marked on the paper (or a master list for one of the teachers).

 

[Christine]

My district hands out Assignment journals to every student, which the students fill in daily. If something is late, the teacher highlights that assignment. They encourage parents to check it every evening. If your school doesn't offer this, perhaps the teacher would be willing to participate if you purchased one for your child?

Our school has this too; however, the assignment journal does not include seatwork that they do during the class. Heck, my son can fill out 6-8 sheets of classwork a day that I am unaware of. It all comes home in his Tuesday folder--big stack of stuff. If he wasn't doing it, the only way I'd know was when it came home on Tuesday with an incomplete on it (which has happened). The assignment journals only include the pages that they were to read that day in each subject and what the homework is.

What I don't understand is why the OP's school is not sending the classwork (seat work) home at least once a week with the incompletes highlighted.

Also, to the OP as a side issue, if your son is having repeated problems (grade after grade) of not completing his class work, there *is* some sort of problem.

Before my son was diagnosed with ADHD this was his big problem. We also saw a neurologist to rule out any physical issues, but the "team" also consisted of a psychiatrist and other tests were administered to see how he completed work that was tasked to him. I think the exam that your son had, may have excluded a large part of testing that looks for learning disabilities.

 

[packetminnie]

School has been in session for 3 weeks. DS has an assignment book that is supposed to be signed by me every night. I found that out last night. I took the assignment book with me last night and I signed it and wrote a note to the teacher that I had made DS complete 3 pages of work last night (took him 15 minutes).

The neuro exam, DS spent 3 hours with a pediatric neurologist from a renowned teaching hospital. Teacher thought DS was having petit mal seizures. Neurologist decided he wasn't and he could find no indications or reasons for further testing.

DH is going to observe him next week at school. I thought I was being proactive.
1. I contacted the counselor to discuss choice of teacher.
2. I met the teacher and discussed my concerns.
3. I thought we had formed a plan.
Not sure how much more proactive I can get. That is why I came on the dis. This is my first thread.

 

[Christine]

Not sure how much more proactive I can get. That is why I came on the dis. This is my first thread.

Basically, PROACTIVE is a nice word for being up their proverbial "back side." Tough I know. I'm not good at stuff like that.

 

[golfgal]

Sounds like my DS14 to a T AND his 3rd grade teacher (who was also his 5th grade and 6th grade teacher-she moved around a lot ). We had discussion after discussion, meetings with principal, etc., etc. etc. It came down to an unorganized 3rd grade boy and an even MORE unorganized teacher. To this day I can tell which teachers are organized and which aren't just by how he does his homework or doesn't do his homework is more like it. At one point DS was 60 pages behind in his cursive workbook--her excuse was "he must have been gone the day I checked it--WHAT???). She had us convinced he had all these learning disabilities, etc. We finally had the principal observe him in class and her opinion of him was that he was a disorganized 3rd grade boy. She set up a procedure for assignment checks for the teacher and us, that lasted a whole day with her.

We did take him in for all kids of testing, nothing found. He is just a lazy kid that doesn't care about doing well in school. We just have to keep on him every single day to get his stuff done. It is a LOT of work but hopefully sooner or later it will sink in that school is important.

 

[CEDmom]

I don't mean to be harsh but knowing your DS's track record I don't think I'd trust him telling the truth about getting his work done. I also wouldn't count on the teacher informing you every time work isn't completed. I think you need to get a system in place such as a planner that your DS has to write down all work and it needs to be initialed by his teacher and you.

My DD's elementary school gives each student a planner and there's a spot for the parent and teacher to initial work has been completed. There's also a spot for comments. I think it's a great tool and really keeps the lines of communication open.

What does your DS say about not getting his work done? At 10 he shares some responsibility for the mess he's gotten himself into. Personally, I'd take the folder and have him do some every night until it's completed. There would also be some consequences for not getting it done and for lying about it.

I definitely think you need a conference with the teacher, the counselor and your DS.

Good luck.

 

[In a hurry]

Basically, PROACTIVE is a nice word for being up their proverbial "back side."

butt in a nice way!

Sorry, couldn't resist. You are being proactive. Sometimes it is just hard to figure out the best way to deal with something.

 

[golfgal]

First, how long has school been in session? How long have this been going on without any contact from the teacher? I will refrain from commenting on the teachers response, or lack of, until there is a bit more info.

I would be concerned about your son if this seems to be an ongoing problem. I would be more concerned about my son than I would the teacher. Obviously you have good contact with the counselor, so if you have not heard from the teacher, you could probably ask the counselor to check on the work situation for you. I so no problem with you taking a bit of initiiative.

You mentioned that your son had seen a Neurologist and had some kind of evaluation. What kind of evaluation(s) were done? What were they looking for? Aren't possible learning disabilities usually evaluated by Child Psychologist? Hhhhhmmm?

Why do you have to be so nasty to everyone? A pediatric neurologist also does testing for various types of learning disabilities.

 

[Annie68]

What I don't understand is why the OP's school is not sending the classwork (seat work) home at least once a week with the incompletes highlighted.

Yes, good point. I just assumed she meant homework, as the teacher usually sends the entire week of "seat work" home at the end of the week here. They call it the "Friday folder", which we have to sign also.

 

[Christine]

Yes, good point. I just assumed she meant homework, as the teacher usually sends the entire week of "seat work" home at the end of the week here. They call it the "Friday folder", which we have to sign also.

I took her post to mean that he was not completing his in-school work (along with some homework probably). So, I was wondering how you would be able to handle that when they don't write that stuff in a planner. The only way you would know is when the teacher sent that stuff home. If the teacher doesn't even do that, then I think that's wrong.

We have the "Tuesday" folder.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Not sure how much more proactive I can get. That is why I came on the dis. This is my first thread.

Refer to my thread.
When you know the school drops the ball you have to be the quarterback and make sure the ball gets to the End Zone....

 

[packetminnie]

Our school has this too; however, the assignment journal does not include seatwork that they do during the class. Heck, my son can fill out 6-8 sheets of classwork a day that I am unaware of. It all comes home in his Tuesday folder--big stack of stuff. If he wasn't doing it, the only way I'd know was when it came home on Tuesday with an incomplete on it (which has happened). The assignment journals only include the pages that they were to read that day in each subject and what the homework is.

What I don't understand is why the OP's school is not sending the classwork (seat work) home at least once a week with the incompletes highlighted.

Also, to the OP as a side issue, if your son is having repeated problems (grade after grade) of not completing his class work, there *is* some sort of problem.

.

DS is being treated for ADHD and has been since the 1st grade. We are on our 3rd psychiatrist for one reason or another. They all agree DS doesn't have learning disabilities other than ADHD. He is on the Daytrana patch and (at home) it seems to be working better than adderall or focalin. He was having problems with competing work in 1st grade that is why we had him evaluated for ADHD.
DS has brought home 2 folders of work. Nothing in the folder was incomplete. Last year DS did bring home incomplete work occasionally but his teacher also kept quite a bit of it and put it in this file folder and gave it to me 3 1/2 weeks before school ended. I made DS complete the work before school ended.

I think we have pretty strict rules around the house during the school year --
1. no PS2 during the week.
2. No cartoons during the week
3. absolutely no television until homework is done.
He has about 30 minutes of normal homework a night currently -- 15 minutes reading and 15 minutes of something else I can come up with per the teacher at meet your teacher night (currently I am having him do math) or something she has assigned.

I will be volunteering in school at least 1 day/week either in the classroom or the library or both but they have to have certification meetings and all volunteers have to be certified. That will happen sometime in the next 2 weeks.

 

[Annie68]

I took her post to mean that he was not completing his in-school work (along with some homework probably). So, I was wondering how you would be able to handle that when they don't write that stuff in a planner. The only way you would know is when the teacher sent that stuff home. If the teacher doesn't even do that, then I think that's wrong.

We have the "Tuesday" folder.

Definitely a communication problem with the OP & teacher it sounds like. Why did the teacher have the unfinished assignments and not the OP's child? Sounds like the teacher isn't sending home the unfinished things, which is odd.

If my kids had homework in their Friday folder that was incomplete, it would have a yellow sticker to alert me. If they didn't send it back completed, the teacher would write a note in their homeowrk journal sometime during the following week asking about it, seat work or regular homework.

 

[packetminnie]

Without teacher bashing I would say become PROACTIVE...

Get your child an assignment book that has to be signed daily by the teachers and yourself. Set up a system of checks and balances.

That was taken care of last night.


[/QUOTE]
Make consequences at home for rules regarding homework and getting things signed.[/QUOTE]

He does have consequences. I can't enforce those if I am unaware of the problem.

[/QUOTE]
Get your child tested for learning disabilities.[/QUOTE]

None of his psychiatrists or his teachers or the counselor beleive he has learning disabilities. I don't think he does either. If I thought he did I would fight for the testing but I don't see any evidence of it when we are working on his work together and all of the professionals are telling me he doesnt have any symptoms.


[/QUOTE]
Make sure things are organized at home. Enforce strict rules of your DS getting prepared for school.[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure what you mean by getting prepared for school.