Not Rewards, but need advice - I DID IT!

[sweetpeasmom]

Hi Everyone:

This isn't a Rewards question.....please forgive me but I'm not comfortable posting on other boards.

After six years in a wonderfully flexible, professional part-time position, I got a new boss three months ago. In all my time with this company, I have never been paid for time I wasn't there......no such thing as sick/personal/vacation time for part-timers. Well, she told me Tuesday that she will not "allow" flexibility -- the full-timers don't get it and neither should the part-time employee. Flexible would mean taking Halloween off because it was a half-day at school and I wanted to go in to help with the party & parade.

Even though I gave her a month's notice about yesterday, she decided as I was leaving on Tuesday to bring up my "flexibility" and "arrogance" for thinking I was different. So, going to conferences, parties, helping out on writing day and being there before and school are no longer allowed. "You should consider doing what every other working parent does and find alternate care for your daughter."

OK, after my teeth fell out, DH and I spent hours discussing (and venting) we determined I have no choice but to leave a job I used to love. There's a good chance this witch won't last, but I don't want DD remembering first grade as "the year Mommy wasn't there". In the short run, the witch wins, but in both the long AND short runs, my family wins.

Question: Does anybody know how Unemployment Insurance works? I understand that people are not eligible when they resign. However, if the resignation is due to a fundamental restructuring of the position, i.e., work hours, is a person then eligible? Work history is excellent, reviews are excellent, etc. I'll need to have some income while I job hunt. (Fortunately, I can continue doing rewards programs while I do job searches on the net!)

And FYI, I can't go to her boss for advice. He's the BRAND NEW company president and works in another state! She has complete control over the situation.

I'm planning on turning in my resignation tomorrow. Kind thoughts appreciated, as well as advice!

Thanks for listening.

 

[dmslush]

It is VERY hard to get unemployment if you have not been laid off. One example that I can give you is this (true story); Mom was working as a cook in a local nursing home. Someone at the nursing home started scratching up cars, and calling her boss's husband and telling him that his wife was having an affair. Well, after about a month of this, mom's car was the only one that wasn't scratched up so people started to assume that it was her that was doing it. The boss started saying stuff like, "If I find out who is calling my husband, I'm going to make their life hell" and then she would play with mom's schedule. The day that she was supposed to be off, she would call her and tell her that the schedule had changed and she had 20 minutes to be there.. we lived 30 minutes from the place. This went on and on. Mom filed a grievance, but it honestly just made it worse for her. She finally quit, and went to file for unemployment. Of course the boss disputed the unemployment claim (the place of business has to approve you to collect). So, she appealled it and it went to mediation.

It took 4 months before she was approved to collect, by then she had another job. They found the guy that was scratching up the cars, it was someone's jealous husband.


But, a far as money, have you tried selling on ebay? That could probably hold you over until you found another job. When I get in a pinch, I sell clothes that my daughter has outgrown and make pretty good money.

 

[Cinders]

And FYI, I can't go to her boss for advice. He's the BRAND NEW company president and works in another state! She has complete control over the situation.

Even though it looks like she has complete control I would still write a letter to her boss. Its quite possible he's a family man and will take your side in this. Let him know you've been a loyal employee and that you would hate to have to leave a job you like but that your child's occasional school functions come first and that life is too short to not spend some of it with your own child. Let him know you dont expect to get paid for this time off and that you would give plenty of notice so your schedule could be arranged to accomodate the childs school activities. Really butter him up!!! Whats the worse thing that could happen by doing this? Nothing any worse than what you've dealt with already with your immediate boss. You might also remind him a new person to take your place would have to be trained too.

Dont do anything rash........try to work it out first.

 

[rugratsmom66]

I agree with Cinders. Try talking with the president. If you love the job and are good at it, they may want to keep you. In this day, good employees are hard to find and hopefully the president knows that. I'm assuming you are part-time so you don't have to worry about before and after school care. Part-time employees do not cost employers very much other than the salary they are paid since you don't get "benefits". As an employer, I love my part-time people and do everything I can to keep them happy - "flexibility" is why they work part-time. They want to be able to be home when their children need them to be.

I'm pretty sure you won't be able to collect unemployment so try to work it out if you love it. Good luck to you and I hope it works out. Please let us know what happens.

 

[Alison Wonderland]

I don't know anything about the insurance but I understand 100% what you are saying about being there for your child. I work part-time also so I can be there when my 1st grader has a field trip or school function. He is so proud when I am there and it is worth having less material things. I can always have that stuff when he's older. This new woman obviously doesn't have children or if she does she doesn't make them a priority--she would understand what you are trying to do. Not everyone is able to work part-time and make it but if you're able to your boss should cheer you for doing it not try to punish you.

 

[sweetpeasmom]

There really are angels out there. DMslush suggests selling things on Ebay.....and then my good friend calls to say she needs help juggling her internet business with the three kids!

At the halloween parade Wednesday, DD tripped (over her shadow) and fell. I immediately scooped her up and made it "all better"....... last night she told me how glad she was that I was there to help her. Alison, you are so right!

A man I rarely see stopped into my office to discuss the health of his wife. He said, "I'm so glad we took time to enjoy our life together along the way instead of waiting for retirement because you can never get back lost time with family"

Between these incidents and the support of an incredible hubby, I've recieved all the nudging I need. I have written my resignation letter, offering two weeks' notice, to be presented some time during the day. Who knows if she will let me stay more than 10 minutes after submitting it! A copy will go the president. Hopefully, he IS a family man (thank you Rugratsmom66 & Cinders!) and if he wants to take action, that's his choice. My choice is to be there for my family. Somehow, I know it will all work out. Getting from here to there may be a struggle, but we'll do it.

Thank you all for listening. I'm off to have a good cry, get ready for work and Sweetpea off to school.

 

[Maleficent2]

I am so happy that you made your decision.I decided to leave a $30,000 a year job when my DS was born(now 4).I could have gone part time being a dental hygienist but with what I have seen in my life I know that life is too short and you never get that chance again.Although it was a struggle at first we are making it and have not missed the money at all.We would have only spent it on new cars or things we could live without anyway.Our best car is now almost 10 years old we only have 7 years left on our house loan and I could not be happier.We are lucky in that DH works at home so he is always here.


Good Luck to you


Hugs


Mal

 

[kellyla]

I have been a stay at home mom for almost five years now.My oldest son started getting into trouble at school.I was working full time(left my kids when they were 3 years old and 4 months old,had to get a job because my husband had just lost his job) and my kids were spending their after school time at my mom and dad's.I decided that I had to be home when my kids got home from school.Tried to explain this to the powers that be at work but was told that the job came first.I couldn't afford to quit so I basically made them fire me(they didnt want to because it cost them a bit in severence and in profit sharing)It has now been five years and my son hasnt been trouble in school(my boys are 10 and almost 13,I know,they sound a little old for mommy to be home with them)but I wouldnt have it any other way.We dont miss the money,the bills are paid and there is food in their stomachs and a roof over their head.I havent missed a soccer game,I help out at school,I go on school trips and I am there to help with the homework.With part of the severence I got from work I took my kids to WDW for the first time.I wouldnt change being at home for any thing.Enjoy it and your daughter.

 

[sweetpeasmom]

Well, I mustered up all my nerve, went in and submitted my resignation with two week's notice. And my boss' face just went pure white! All she could say was, "Oh. OK." Not another word the rest of the day!

DH met me for lunch -- and tons of moral support. We stopped at the mall, went into Bath and Body Works and picked up an application. I filled it out while eating, went back in, chatted with the manager and got hired! I've not an ounce of retail experience but I have spent a lot of time in that store! Start training this week in the evenings.

My daughter is beyond excited. She actually said, "You mean you won't be working for that lady who doesn't want you to spend time with me??" When I told her I'd be working at B&BW, she just squealed with delight. "YOU'RE GOING TO BE A STORE WORKER????"'

So much for the office with walls plastered with her art work and photos. All she wants is a Mom who works in "THE LOTION STORE!" and who can spend time with her.

I'm relieved but starting to worry about the future. It will all work out, I'm sure. After all, you really do have it all when your kid is proud of you!

Thanks again.

 

[mowsie dreamer]

Sweetpeasmom, I'm happy to hear that everything is turning out well for you. And won't it be nice to work in a place that smells as good as B&BW? I love that store Here's wishing all the best for you in your new position.

 

[kellyla]

Congrats on your new job(you sure didnt waste any time did you?)!Things will work out just fine.Your little girl will have the best smelling mother,hehehe.

 

[Kallison]

The time that they want you there with them in school is so short. At our school by the third grade the teachers no longer ask for parents to come in and help. We only have three parties a year, I can't believe someone would want you to miss your daughter's 1st grade Halloween parade! Just about every parent shows up at our school, even my DH works from home so he can see it. Good for you! You are absolutely doing the right thing.

 

[perfectmatch300]

Congrats on your move, Sweetpeasmom! I know it wasn't an easy thing for you to do, but it sounds like you made a good move to me.

Now here's the thing.....working in a store like Bath & Body Works you just have to be sure you don't spend more than you make!
BTW, I think the manager of that Bath & Bodyworks just hired herself a great employee!

 

[Pumbaa_]

Congratulations! What a hard decision to make, but you are right, kids are little for such a short time. I applaud all of the stay at home Moms, I think your job is harder than those who go to an office. My job ends when I leave, yours is 24/7.

Now, B&BW, my favorite place! Enjoy your work there, the people in my local store are wonderful! I hope you enjoy the new challenges!

 

[tink2dw]

I think it was ,Bath and Body Works, that my friend was telling me about,It was started by a women in much the same fix as you were,she needed money and time with her children.

So,you have picked a Purrrrrrfect Company to work for!! Good Luck in your New Job!!!