Non Disney Loving Spouse Is Ruining My Fun

MkaMouse

Mouseketeer
Joined
Jun 20, 2017
I have a "what would you do?" question:

Here's the story: Husband (not a DH. just an H) and I are going to DLR for a quick 3 night trip in November. Fly in Nov 2, fly home to PHL Nov 5. We are staying at the Grand. I am a huge Disney fan. H is Disney agnostic. He just comes along for the ride.

H wants to fly home on Nov 5 on a 6:30AM flight out of ONT. 6:30AM!!! We would have to leave the hotel around 4AM. Who does that??? No time for a nice breakfast on our last day. No time for anything except getting up at a ridiculously early time to leave a gorgeous hotel.

I really want to suggest to him that we take separate flights home. He can take his super early flight that will get him home by early evening. (He wants to go to work the next day.) And I can take a later flight so I can enjoy my last morning at DLR.

Would anyone else suggest this to their spouse if they were in a similar situation?
 

dez1978

Mouseketeer
Joined
Apr 11, 2019
Im not really any help but I love the just an H lol. We always have to fly home ridiculously early from where ever we go. Usually we have one 3-4 day trip a year with out the kids so we are rushing to get home to pick them up from daycare.
 
  • elaine amj

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 26, 2012
    Lol. I would and have done something similar (although not quite two flights haha!). Totally understandable that he wants to be functioning for work the next day. On the other hand, seems like such a waste after splurging on the Grand. The main complication is how you will get home from the airport late at night.

    BUT - if your DH is the type to feel majorly put out going home by himself early, then I would suggest sucking it up and leaving early. An extra morning in the Grand is not really worth an upset spouse who is already sucking it up to go somewhere expensive he doesn't want to go simply to please you.
     

    RobertaMomof2

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jan 21, 2009
    I would for sure suggest flying at different times, hell I would offer to go alone and not put him out by making him come. :) My husband is also not a huge fan of Disnelyand (or any theme park in general really, he hates crowds), so the kids and I go alone all the time. I offer (of course) if he wants to come, but he knows I am good with going with the kids by myself, so he says nope, gonna stay home. He gets to stay back and go to dinner with friends or movies or whatever (do things he enjoys) while we do stuff we enjoy. Nothing is written you have to be joined at the hip after marriage, it's good to have your own interests and do things apart as well. This is just my opinion though :)
     
  • kikismom

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Jul 15, 2019
    I would for sure suggest flying at different times, hell I would offer to go alone and not put him out by making him come. :) My husband is also not a huge fan of Disnelyand (or any theme park in general really, he hates crowds), so the kids and I go alone all the time. I offer (of course) if he wants to come, but he knows I am good with going with the kids by myself, so he says nope, gonna stay home. He gets to stay back and go to dinner with friends or movies or whatever (do things he enjoys) while we do stuff we enjoy. Nothing is written you have to be joined at the hip after marriage, it's good to have your own interests and do things apart as well. This is just my opinion though :)

    So true. My husband and I take a family vacation each year together but then he goes hunting for a few weeks and hiking for some long weekends with friends as well. I go to Disneyland or on shopping trips with our daughter and friends. That's what works for us because we have different interests. It saved us alot of money when he finally admitted he didn't really like Disneyland and started staying home.

    I have had people be kind of judgy when we've talked about our separate vacations. We figured we don't have to justify anything to the judgers.
     

    StarlitNight05

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 6, 2016
    That's a tough situation for sure. I'd run it by him and see how he reacts. If he really dislikes the Disney trips, perhaps he'd be open to you going solo (or with a friend/family member) in the future (or even for this trip) as other PPs have mentioned.

    On a side note, I always though the "D" before family abbreviations meant "dear." Have I gotten that wrong this whole time? 🤣
     
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    Summer2018

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 29, 2017
    My MIL traveled the world without my FIL. He was a homebody, and she had an itchy heel.

    Sometimes she travelled alone, but mostly she brought her children and grandchildren on fabulous trips. She took my DH and I to Sweden and England. My BIL went to Italy and Switzerland with her. We all benefited from my FIL’s lack of interest in traveling.

    Enjoy your life. Life is short.
     

    RemainSeatedPlease

    Part of Your World
    Joined
    Nov 22, 2014
    You're lucky he's at least going with you, I have to beg my H to come along on Disney trips!

    I personally would never do a flight that early - I've done that on trips in the past, and screwing up my sleep schedule like that ruined me for days. I get so anxious that I won't wake up in time that I end up hardly sleeping at all the night before. If I were planning to go to work the next day, an early flight the day before is the last thing I'd do. I'd even rather get in at 11 pm the night before and go straight to bed.

    If my husband insisted on an early flight, I'd absolutely tell him he'll be flying by himself.
     
  • StormyCA

    Chief Troublemaker
    Joined
    Sep 22, 2014
    I, too, have an nDH (non-Disney Husband). It can be a pain, can't it? Sigh. What's 'odd' about mine is that he enjoys (really enjoys) WDW, but 'hates' DL!!! He'll go to DL with me and he behaves with very good spirit but I know he'd really rather not be there. He says it's the crowding and that at WDW it just doesn't feel as crowded. At WDW he has a good time and enjoys himself as long as we go by the 'Iron Clad Rule' (ICR).

    The ICR is that we each get to do what we want to do. If he wants to cut out and go back to the hotel (or the RV if we're at WDW) then that's what he does. I stay and shop (yay, no one checking prices!!), ride rides, or do whatever. Sometimes he'll come back after a bit, sometimes he won't. Sometimes I'll stay til closing, sometimes I don't. No problem. If we're relaxing and I want to run back to the parks, that's what I do. The last thing I want (for either of us) is to drag the other around somewhere they don't want to be! That's a buzz kill, even in the Happiest Place on Earth.

    So based on that, let your own nDH leave for his butt-crack of dawn flight! You relax and enjoy yourself and fly out when you're ready. Checkout's 11am (IIRC) so I'd say a 2 or 3 pm flight would be perfect!! And I'd change my return flight to SNA while I was at it!!

    I also have a 'Disney-Sistah', a friend with an nDH that I go to Disneyland with. So DH only has to go if she can't. She & I operate under the ICR, too.

    I think all of us with nDHs need to get together and form a roster! Then when one of us wants to go, we can start checking the roster until we find someone who's up for a trip!!! :grouphug:
     
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    MkaMouse

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 20, 2017
    Lol. I would and have done something similar (although not quite two flights haha!). Totally understandable that he wants to be functioning for work the next day. On the other hand, seems like such a waste after splurging on the Grand. The main complication is how you will get home from the airport late at night.

    BUT - if your DH is the type to feel majorly put out going home by himself early, then I would suggest sucking it up and leaving early. An extra morning in the Grand is not really worth an upset spouse who is already sucking it up to go somewhere expensive he doesn't want to go simply to please you.
    I've already figured out the airport problem. We'd simply take separate cars to PHL.
    What makes this situation a little unusual is that he's not really sucking up anything for this trip. This trip is 100% my treat, paid for with $ from my separate savings.
     

    GeneralTso

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 28, 2009
    One of my favorite things about Disney trips is the last day. You wake up at Disney and go to bed in your own bed and it's kind of trippy.
    We book late flights so we get a final day in the park. It's like a bonus day.

    Unless you can adjust your mindset and make that last day just a travel day, it's gonna bug you. You'll feel like you're missing out. You'll be EXTRA grumpy at that ungodly hour to fly home.

    If you two are good with it, fly separately. A final half day in the park alone can be so fun. No one to consult and schedule with (especially a non-believer) and you get to do what YOU want to do.

    I have a friend who goes to Disney without her husband all the time. She doesn't want to deal with him and his attitude. Even when he's trying she spends too much energy trying to make sure he's OK and not bored or whatever. They have a great agreement. It works.
     

    MkaMouse

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 20, 2017
    Sure, why not?

    I give you credit for feeling comfortable enough to fly alone. I would absolutely do it. In fact, if you don’t have to be back home right away, why not stay another night?

    Enjoy.
    I fly alone for work all the time. It actually seems a little strange when I'm flying with a companion.
     

    MkaMouse

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 20, 2017
    One of my favorite things about Disney trips is the last day. You wake up at Disney and go to bed in your own bed and it's kind of trippy.
    We book late flights so we get a final day in the park. It's like a bonus day.

    Unless you can adjust your mindset and make that last day just a travel day, it's gonna bug you. You'll feel like you're missing out. You'll be EXTRA grumpy at that ungodly hour to fly home.

    If you two are good with it, fly separately. A final half day in the park alone can be so fun. No one to consult and schedule with (especially a non-believer) and you get to do what YOU want to do.

    I have a friend who goes to Disney without her husband all the time. She doesn't want to deal with him and his attitude. Even when he's trying she spends too much energy trying to make sure he's OK and not bored or whatever. They have a great agreement. It works.
    Yes! It's a bonus day!
     

    Barnabus Collins

    Prefer the Dark
    Joined
    Apr 17, 2019
    I would tell my wife to do what makes her happy. I have found the best way for me to be happy is to make sure she is happy!

    Actually, neither one of us has issues with the other doing their own thing. I have given up on getting her to go see horror movies with me, and have no shortage of fun going by myself.

    On the same note, I bow out of most musicals she goes to, so win win all around.
     

    Geemo

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 23, 2012
    I have a "what would you do?" question:

    Here's the story: Husband (not a DH. just an H) and I are going to DLR for a quick 3 night trip in November. Fly in Nov 2, fly home to PHL Nov 5. We are staying at the Grand. I am a huge Disney fan. H is Disney agnostic. He just comes along for the ride.

    H wants to fly home on Nov 5 on a 6:30AM flight out of ONT. 6:30AM!!! We would have to leave the hotel around 4AM. Who does that??? No time for a nice breakfast on our last day. No time for anything except getting up at a ridiculously early time to leave a gorgeous hotel.

    I really want to suggest to him that we take separate flights home. He can take his super early flight that will get him home by early evening. (He wants to go to work the next day.) And I can take a later flight so I can enjoy my last morning at DLR.

    Would anyone else suggest this to their spouse if they were in a similar situation?
    Oh My.... I know what you are Dealing With... I am married to an "H" also, going on 46years now.
    My "H" is not a real fan of Disneyland and doesn't like to fly. So he is okay with staying home when a DLR trip is in the works.
    He use to go when the kids and grandkids were young. Although he hasn't been in probably 10+ years.

    The ONLY time I would even consider a 6:30am flight anywhere, is GOING to Disneyland!! Not Home....

    My conversation with "H" would go something like this....

    There is a later flight I'd rather take so I could enjoy a full morning the last day.
    I understand a 6:30am flight would get you home early so you'll be refreshed for work the next day.
    But it would be so nice to have some extra time the last morning for a few last minute Disney treats.
    The later flight gets me into PHL at ......
    Is there anything I can pack or get to make your early flight home more comfortable for you?



    The last few years as the grandkids (DGS-25, DGD-23, DGD-22, DGS-17 & DGD-15) have grown and unable to go with me as often, I have begun taking solo trips. I post my itinerary on the frig so "H" know my flights and hotel location. I also send him messages through out each day.

    I am fortunate my non-DH is okay with me going as often as I do. Whether it is with the grandkids or solo.
    I will be going solo for 3 days the end of October. With two more trips before the end of the year. Each of those will be with a couple of grandkids each trip. While I do enjoy my solo trips, trips with the grandkids are memory makers for sure.

    Good luck and enjoy Dapper Days in the parks during your trip.

    Geemo
     


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