Non-custodial parent phone calls to children

[LadyShiva]

Where do you see this? I see people asking very educated questions. Personally I've been married for 16 years and with DH since Jr. High. We've never even broken up much less thought of divorce, HOWEVER my son has 2 friends who have had to deal with parents fighting each other and it's PURE AND TOTAL HELL for those kids. The original post and the posts following by the OP sounded just like the kind of things these parents/step parents do. Thats why it struck such a cord with me.

People don't realize the DAMAGE they do to these kids who asked for NONE of it.

Your ENTIRE POST proves my point. It isn't about Boom--it's about what YOU'VE seen, what YOU'VE experienced. YOU must impart unto Boom YOUR horrible experience before he screws up his precious little 6 year old child!

Seriously... Take a look at Boom's facts and remove your emotions from it. Counsel him, versus try to ram your point of view down his throat.

Brandie

 

[boomhauer]

Boom, I think the problem is that you've posted multiple threads about your step son's biological father and it's been very clear in all of them that you cannot stand the guy.

I must be awful at getting my point across, and for that, I guess I owe many an apology. I didn't realize I came off that way. In all honesty, though I think he can be a bit of a putz at times, I honestly have nothing against the guy. Not someone I'd be friends with, but I by no means dislike him.

 

[JadenLayne]

Okay since I saw your post before I said I was done I'll respond,

If he didn't want HONEST opinions from people who HAVE seen the results of things like he is dealing with then why did he post the question to a message board? He asked for opinions and he got them.

As for this quote,

YOU must impart unto Boom YOUR horrible experience before he screws up his precious little 6 year old child!

Your dang straight! I hate seeing children messed up because of the adults in their life. Boom might be an excellent step-dad to the little boy but he also needs his real dad. Now I'm really gone. I do wish all parties good luck and hope they can sit down like adults and work this out without involving the baby.

Oh and I'm not a counselor nor do I play one on T.V. If someone on this board asks for opinions the only ones I can give are my own which are based on what I have seen in my REAL LIFE and my PERSONAL LIFE. If someone needs a real counselor the DIS boards aren't the place to come. If they want real life opinions then it is. Simple as that.

 

[MosMom]

Your ENTIRE POST proves my point. It isn't about Boom--it's about what YOU'VE seen, what YOU'VE experienced. YOU must impart unto Boom YOUR horrible experience before he screws up his precious little 6 year old child!

Seriously... Take a look at Boom's facts and remove your emotions from it. Counsel him, versus try to ram your point of view down his throat.

Brandie

Aren't all of our opinions on life situations formed from life experience?

 

[boomhauer]

Okay since I saw your post before I said I was done I'll respond,

If he didn't want HONEST opinions from people who HAVE seen the results of things like he is dealing with then why did he post the question to a message board? He asked for opinions and he got them.

As for this quote,

Honest opinions I have NO problems with. It's the rude, judgemental ones I can't stand.

You come off like an intelligent person. I truly believe you can see the difference and the ones in which I respond to negatively.

 

[bananiem]

My son's best friend's parents just divorced. The Mom got a new place but decided she'll just use her cell phone and not get a landline to save money. Her son can't call his friends every other week and the friends can't call him. He only has a phone when he's at his Dad's.
If you don't want you wife's phone being called all the time, get the boy a phone of his own or get a landline and tell Dad to call that.

 

[LadyShiva]

Aren't all of our opinions on life situations formed from life experience?

It isn't counselling if you get emotionally involved in the outcome of another's decisions.

Brandie

 

[Kath2003]

You come off like an intelligent person.

So do you, Boom, which is why people can't understand why you're posting this thread when you're already smart enough to know the answer to your own problem.

 

[MosMom]

I'm not emotionally involved. Let the dad talk to the kid when he calls and don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Really. He has cited ONE time when it got out of hand and bio dad called too many times (CPR class) but it is the day to day calling that is really annoying him. Get over it.

 

[cardaway]

I must be awful at getting my point across, and for that, I guess I owe many an apology. I didn't realize I came off that way. In all honesty, though I think he can be a bit of a putz at times, I honestly have nothing against the guy. Not someone I'd be friends with, but I by no means dislike him.

That's not what you have posted before. Were you lying then or now?

 

[boomhauer]

That's not what you have posted before. Were you lying then or now?

As I said, I obviously don't get my point across veyr well. For that I apologize. You wanna rub it in my face - Do it. Don't know why that would make you feel better, but obviosuly, it does.

 

[Nana Annie]

I know I'll get flamed for asking a simple question, but for those that may have more experience with this, maybe you can answer for me.

My parents were divorced and my dad called me on average, maybe every other night, or every 3 days.

My steps-son's (6) dad just started calling him for the first time about a month ago. At first, it was every other night. Now, he's started calling every night. Honestly, it's become a bit of a nuisance at this point. We're out to dinner - He calls. We're out shopping - He calls. We're at a movie - He calls. If my wife doesn't answer her phone, he sends her an email asking where we our. We feel like we've become prisoners to her phone.

Is this standard practice we should just get used to, or is every night a bit excessive?

I am coming to this thread late, so I apologize if this has been said.

From reading some of your other posts, is it correct to say that you have had some power issues with the dad recently? And I am saying this on both of your parts.

I say this in the kindest of spirit - both of you need to put your macho Dad thing away and do what is best for the boy. He needs to have contact with his father. Every night is not unreasonable. This is his father.

Perhaps you need to get the step-son his own cell phone and allow him unlimited contact with his father. That way, he would not be inconveniencing you or your wife. You could control the contact by having him leave the phone at home when he is at school or when you go out. Then he can check his messages when he gets home and return any calls.

 

[boomhauer]

So do you, Boom, which is why people can't understand why you're posting this thread when you're already smart enough to know the answer to your own problem.

I didn't know the answer. I still don't. I wanted some suggestions as to what was the best way to handle it.

What I should have known is that if I didn't take everyone's advice, my backside would be stretched like an elastic band.

 

[MosMom]

I am coming to this thread late, so I apologize if this has been said.

From reading some of your other posts, is it correct to say that you have had some power issues with the dad recently? And I am saying this on both of your parts.

I say this in the kindest of spirit - both of you need to put your macho Dad thing away and do what is best for the boy. He needs to have contact with his father. Every night is not unreasonable. This is his father.

Perhaps you need to get the step-son his own cell phone and allow him unlimited contact with his father. That way, he would not be inconveniencing you or your wife. You could control the contact by having him leave the phone at home when he is at school or when you go out. Then he can check his messages when he gets home and return any calls.

Nana, that is a very well thought out post with a GREAT suggestion. Unfortuantely, it has been given a few times and shot down with no reason given.

 

[illuminati]

I would ask myself:

What Would Bon Jovi Do? :

 

[bananiem]

If you don't want you wife's phone being called all the time, get the boy a phone of his own or get a landline and tell Dad to call that.

I didn't know the answer. I still don't. I wanted some suggestions as to what was the best way to handle it.

I thought I gave a suggestion. I must be on ignore.

 

[boomhauer]

Nana, that is a very well thought out post with a GREAT suggestion. Unfortuantely, it has been given a few times and shot down with no reason given.

Actually, it was. Post 134.

 

[boomhauer]

I thought I gave a suggestion. I must be on ignore.

And I thank you.

Show of hands - How many DIS members are mind readers? I've lost count.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I didn't know the answer. I still don't. I wanted some suggestions as to what was the best way to handle it.

What I should have known is that if I didn't take everyone's advice, my backside would be stretched like an elastic band.

If that's your belief, then I can see why you've vowed to never post another thread such as this. I can't hardly blame you. I'll happily throw my support behind this decision.

 

[phorsenuf]

I didn't know the answer. I still don't. I wanted some suggestions as to what was the best way to handle it.

What I should have known is that if I didn't take everyone's advice, my backside would be stretched like an elastic band.

There was alot of advice given and truthfully I don't know of any other solutions other than what has been suggested unless you just pain don't want the boy talking with his dad. So why you wouldn't follow or at least explore the options given is beyond me and others.