New parents - did you have "help" at home after the birth?

[Pin Wizard]

Not a single soul. I've always done everything!!

 

[jennyf917]

My SO had to leave a week after DS was born (military)for 5 months, so my mom came to stay after he left. I had a very difficult birth and couldn't stand without help nor drive so it was a Godsend. Also, she had experience with nursing which was extremely helpful when I forgot how to latch him on in the middle of the night!! It was nice to have someone there in the early days to share my experiences with and to help guide me through things.

 

[skuttle]

Nope. I had DS on a Wednesday and we went home on a Friday. My mom was all ready to spend the weekend, but I just wanted to be alone with DH and our new baby.

She did come up for a week two weeks later when DH had to go away for the week for his job.

 

[lbgraves]

Well, it depends on your definition of "help." My mother stayed with us for 2 LONG weeks. She sat on her butt quilting & then complained about EVERYTHING to my sister when she came to pick her up. She didn't like the fact that her sheets hadn't been changed. Good grief! I was just happy to be able to be in my bed. It was miserable. DH & I were so upset! With DD noone was with us & it was so much better.

 

[huckster]

no help my mom dies when i was 24 and mil wouldnt even consider it, but all survived now kids are all grown adults.. i still dont sleep lol

 

[Kitty 34]

Nope; just my DH who was a big help when not at work.

 

[Planogirl]

I could have used some help!

I was pretty beat up but it was really just me. DH went back to work and worked over most days. We were living way out in the country too at the time so I was very isolated.

 

[MrsKreamer]

My mil took off of work for a week to help me out. She cooked for me and kept the house clean. She also taught me a lot, I am an only child so I didn't know too much about new borns. She will also be taking a week off of work this time to entertain DS.

 

[MidgeD79]

I had no help. I got married, turned 18, graduated. and gave birth all in one year (1979) in that order. My husband (EX) wouldn't take off work to bring us home from the hospital. My mom worked full-time. It was very overwhelming for an 18 year old! I would have liked someone to explain things to me.

 

[Stacey2grls]

I had no help other than my husband who was only home for the first day after my DD's were born. My mother passed away when I was 19, and my MIL couldn't be bothered. I always fended for myself, so, it wasn't that hard for me to take care of my kids, and house. It would have been nice to have some help, but, looking back it was nice to bond without any interference.

 

[PaulaSue]

Dh was off for 1 week for the first 2 DDs birth. For our last DD he had to work (show season, TG she was late, induced 9 days late) so he was only off for her birth-day and 2 ~1/2 days right after. That was the hardest and I'm glad I won't be doing that again.

He had to bring the girls into the hospital the day after birth for me to watch. Then he picked aall of us up when we (baby and I) were discharged. The next day he stayed home till 11 ish to help get us set up. I ended up take the girls out the 3rd day after birth just to try to keep the older girls into their routine and I had cabin fever.

I took them to the mall and got Ash's pictures done. (I hate the hospital's pictures. I got all the girls done soon after birth all in the same dress my Bf gave me. I even have the dress framed besides the pictures of my prirncesses.) I did pretty good considering, but I forgot to pack my purse and had to call my Dad to come and pay for the pictures.

 

[lizanne]

I had my first child 31 years ago and the fifth (and last) is now 23.

I never had any help when I came home and my husband always took off while I was in the hospital and would go back to work when I came home. I never quite understood this because he didn't stay home with the children, they would go to his parents home. I really think that he just couldn't relax and concentrate on work while I was in the hospital.

I never really had a problem with this except when the 4th child was born. I came home to my 3 other children (ages 5, 4, and 1) and my husband then informed me he had to leave on a business trip. I remember his calling home the next night and telling me what a great trip it was. He was in Boca Roton in a suite overlooking the water. He was so excited that he didn't even ask how we were. When I got off the phone, all I could do was laugh.

 

[Marseeya]

I lived with my parents when my DS was born, so I had live-in help. It was nice because I'd had a c-section and I had never been around babies before in my life -- never fed one, never changed one, never bathed one. I was scared to death.

When DD was born, DH took a couple of days off, but my mother also came over to help. She took care of DS and did some things around the house. It was nice. Until....

MIL came to visit under the guise of help. She'd planned on staying 2 weeks, but only stayed for 1. It was the most stressful experience and she nearly gave me a nervous breakdown. She expected to be entertained and taken care of, she was mean to DS, and she actually tried to make my baby cry (DD never cried as an infant and MIL thought it was unnatural, so she tried to get her to cry). UGH! That was over 10 years ago and it STILL makes me angry.

 

[slo]

My Mom, Grandma, and MIL live really really close to me.

They all helped me in there own way. My mom offered to spend the night, but I didn't need her to do that. I told her that if I was having trouble, she's literally a minute away. So she came over everyday for the first week to do laundry, cook for us, and helped with the baby so I could get some rest during the day.

My MIL would come over at night (because she works during the day) and help out with whatever she could.

My Grandma (my mom's mom) came during the day over and cleaned my house alot.

The three of them were amazing for all their help and I love them dearly for it

 

[powellrj]

nope no help. The worst was DD #3. I had a c-section on Friday, they sent me home on sunday night. DH got up and went to work leaving me with 2 kids that needed to get to school, a newborn with a bili-blanket and a weeks worth of laundry to catch-up on. We camped out on the living room sofa where I would rest between loads of laundry and b-feeding. That was when I discovered the wonderful world of take-out. I could call an order in and have DH pick it up on his way home from work. He whined about the cost, but I told him it was the least he could do after leaving me with the kids and housework!

 

[VSL]

if you didn't need help why did your dh take 2 weeks off ??

I would assume that the father takes some time off work to spend it with his new family and be a dad (not to 'help' the mother in the way that a mom/mil would - but rather to play his part in the child's upbringing).

I don't know, I see a DH taking time off work when a newborn arrives as being quite different from having your mom/mil over to help

 

[rt2dz]

Since I think that the reason for the "help" is to have less stress v. more stress, there is no way that I would want my mother or mil (different reasons) there during that time.

DH takes some paternity leave and then works from home, so he is there to help me. When DS#3 was born, my parents took my older two for a week which was helpful.