New little baby in heaven..broken heart on earth...

[Heidi Lou]

You hear about miscarriage all the time but I would NEVER have expected it to be this tough...last Friday life changed for good I think and we had not even heard the heartbeat yet. Does it stop hurting so bad or will it always be thoughts of "the baby would have been this old right now...." I walked through walmart yesterday and had to pass the baby section to get to what I needed and had to leave. It's insane the emotional high you feel then drop to the complete opposite end of the spectrum. How do you cope with this? I truly cant understand how it gets easier...

 

[java]

I'm so sorry. I have had several miscarriages. They do not get easier. But the sadness does lift. But truthfully, some days it still hits me. One I lost at 14 weeks. We had heard the heartbeat. Had seen the baby on Sono. That was very hard.

But I do have 4 children now and wonder how different it might have been.

Hugs to you. And take whatever time you need.

 

[Heidi Lou]

I am so sorry for your losses... this is just unimaginable. and to hear you has several, my heart hurts for you. So glad to hear you have 4 children now but I guess that curiosity of what may have been will always be there.... as much as I wish all this was a bad dream.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

One year ago yesterday we miscarried twins at 12 weeks and I almost lost my life too. It is actually the reason I am planning our first disney vacation. I needed something positive and in the future to fixate on during those first few months. Some days still hit hard but the overwhelming sadness right after is not constant. We have decided to not have any more kids and it seems really hard some days that I feel like I failed my babies and my body failed me. It had been a year long journey and I know it will continue to get "easier" or maybe just less hard? We did name them as they were part of our family from the moment the test showed positive and we knew they were there. I do believe life begins at conception and I will meet them in heaven when it is my time to join them.

 

[alicat8]

I've had 3 and I have to say it gets easier. I feel guilty saying it, but I've learned to think of it in a very biological way and I think "it wasn't a baby that was healthy enough to come." I wish more people talked about it, so I'm glad you posted. It helped me TONS to find support on the internet. Then I started talking to older friends and almost everyone had had one or more losses. My first was before any other pregnancies and it terrified and destroyed me. After my first daughter was born, the next 2 didn't feel so bad. Sending you positive healing vibes!!

 

[verleniahall]

I have had 10 - the sadness will go away, but you will ALWAYS think - they wouel LVOE x or they would be x years old.

We have started getting items off the angel tree at christmas and shopping for them the way we would have shopped for our own children and we always send a letter explaning why they are getting so much.

Prayers that your heart will start to heal

 

[lady_hlh]

I miscarried twins before there was a heartbeat so then with the next pregnancy I had an early ultrasound which looked fine but we also lost that baby by the time that I went for the 12 week visit. I was very sad after both the miscarriages but it did dissipate over time. After quite a few years we finally had our daughter after going through failed infertility treatments. She is the one who will say mom what would it have been like if I had three older siblings. If I had 3 kids or even just twins I don't know if we would have ended up having her so I guess everything ends up the way that fate planned.

 

[Heidi Lou]

One year ago yesterday we miscarried twins at 12 weeks and I almost lost my life too. It is actually the reason I am planning our first disney vacation. I needed something positive and in the future to fixate on during those first few months. Some days still hit hard but the overwhelming sadness right after is not constant. We have decided to not have any more kids and it seems really hard some days that I feel like I failed my babies and my body failed me. It had been a year long journey and I know it will continue to get "easier" or maybe just less hard? We did name them as they were part of our family from the moment the test showed positive and we knew they were there. I do believe life begins at conception and I will meet them in heaven when it is my time to join them.

Awe my goodness I am so sorry... I agree 100%. A baby is a baby and part of the family right from the beginning. I think that is what makes it so tragic. I just hate not even knowing if it was a boy or a girl.... in my heart it was a girl for some reason.
I think the way you put it as "less hard" is probably accurate bc I cant imagine it ever being easy. I read a quote earlier today that said something about how the first thing the baby ever saw when it opened his/her eyes was Jesus and I thought that was so comforting....it never knew fear just love.

Hugs to you. I hope your trip brings many bright spots to your life.

 

[verleniahall]

Awe my goodness I am so sorry... I agree 100%. A baby is a baby and part of the family right from the beginning. I think that is what makes it so tragic. I just hate not even knowing if it was a boy or a girl.... in my heart it was a girl for some reason.
I think the way you put it as "less hard" is probably accurate bc I cant imagine it ever being easy. I read a quote earlier today that said something about how the first thing the baby ever saw when it opened his/her eyes was Jesus and I thought that was so comforting....it never knew fear just love.

Hugs to you. I hope your trip brings many bright spots to your life.

THIS is what gets me though each day - the fact that they didn't know fear, sadness, pain, etc... - they woke up and were with Jesus

And they are with my grandpa Summers, grandma and grandpa O'Connor - and im sure they are ruffians!!

 

[Heidi Lou]

I've had 3 and I have to say it gets easier. I feel guilty saying it, but I've learned to think of it in a very biological way and I think "it wasn't a baby that was healthy enough to come." I wish more people talked about it, so I'm glad you posted. It helped me TONS to find support on the internet. Then I started talking to older friends and almost everyone had had one or more losses. My first was before any other pregnancies and it terrified and destroyed me. After my first daughter was born, the next 2 didn't feel so bad. Sending you positive healing vibes!!

I am sorry for the loss of your 3 angels. Someone actually told me something similar Monday- "God knew the baby wouldn't have been healthy enough so now its in heaven." It is comforting but man is it a tough pill to swallow. It is good to hear it gets easier, Thank you.

 

[Heidi Lou]

I have had 10 - the sadness will go away, but you will ALWAYS think - they wouel LVOE x or they would be x years old.

We have started getting items off the angel tree at christmas and shopping for them the way we would have shopped for our own children and we always send a letter explaning why they are getting so much.

Prayers that your heart will start to heal

What a sweet and amazing idea! and how thoughtful...it helps someone else but seems like it will also help in the healing process as well.

Thank you for the prayers

 

[Heidi Lou]

I miscarried twins before there was a heartbeat so then with the next pregnancy I had an early ultrasound which looked fine but we also lost that baby by the time that I went for the 12 week visit. I was very sad after both the miscarriages but it did dissipate over time. After quite a few years we finally had our daughter after going through failed infertility treatments. She is the one who will say mom what would it have been like if I had three older siblings. If I had 3 kids or even just twins I don't know if we would have ended up having her so I guess everything ends up the way that fate planned.

Reading that just made me tear up about her asking "what it would have been like?" but then gave me goosebumps reading how you may not have ended up having her. That is so true...I guess eventually when it is easier to see the positive aspects, maybe ill understand a bit more why this is the hand that was dealt to us at this time.

Thank you and I am so sorry for your losses.

 

[java]

My favorite line came from my then 5 year old nephew. Shortly after a miscarriage, I was fake smiling. He asked me why I was sad. My SIL quickly said because she lost her baby.

He looks into my eyes and says"Aunt Java you didn't lose your baby, she just went to your heart"

 

[Heidi Lou]

My favorite line came from my then 5 year old nephew. Shortly after a miscarriage, I was fake smiling. He asked me why I was sad. My SIL quickly said because she lost her baby.

He looks into my eyes and says"Aunt Java you didn't lose your baby, she just went to your heart"

How sweet....there is nothing like a child's comfort. That sincerity and innocence is just so touching. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I know I'm a bit late to this thread, but I'm popping in to say that I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby. I hope you are in good health & spirits. God bless.