if you can spare some prayers or good thoughts my way I would appreciate it. My mom went into hospice on Friday and my whole world has been turned upside down. I am an only child and only 32 years old. My dad passed away 8 years ago and I am not sure how I am going to make it through. I do have an amazing support system and know they will be there for my no matter what. Thanks
My heart goes out to you, you are so young to have to go through this. I am an only child as well, so we have that in common. And my dad passed away too, it will be 10 years in January. My Mom passed away this past July so it's still pretty fresh for me, and it was truly the most difficult thing I have ever gone through but go through it I did, and having a good support system helps immensely so I'm glad you have that. My Mom had lived alone since before Dad passed away, he had Alzheimer's and spent the last 6-months of his life in a nursing home. She kept him home with her as long as she could, but when he got violent with her a couple times at night she had to think of her own health and safety so did put him in a nursing home. She did well on her own for several years, but she went into a nursing home in October 2015. She'd been having trouble with her medications, not taking them right (even though I was putting them into daily pill boxes for her), and losing weight, sleeping a lot, losing interest in things which are all signs of depression but she kept saying "I'm not depressed." Finally went on medication for it, and it really hadn't had a chance to kick in yet but then she fell (she had falling issues too, and had a Lifeline Alert necklace) on her back deck and laid, in the rain and cold for an hour before she thought to press the button on the necklace. She had a small stroke, and they weren't sure if she had that first and then fell, or if she fell first and then had the stroke but she spent a week in the hospital and then went from there to a nursing home for rehabilitation and stayed there. It just wasn't safe for her to stay alone anymore. So she spent almost 2 years there before she passed away. She lost so much weight, was down to 62 pounds. Just didn't care about eating anymore, had signed a DNR and refused a feeding tube. All I could do was be supportive and be there for her.
She had been doing much better, the depression medication was really helping and she was involved in many of the activities the nursing home provided (bingo almost daily, going to different restaurants for lunches, to the movies, playing cards, etc.) and had gained most of the weight back that she had lost and was back up to 87 pounds. Then she got a urinary tract infection and it all started going back downhill from there.
Before she got much more ill I was going to see her 2-3 times a week, but when she got bad (and on hospice) I was going daily. Many times she said she was "ready to go." She wanted to be with my Dad. I had to accept that, which was so hard. And the funeral was hard, but I gave her the funeral that she wanted so that made me feel a little better. It's hard to believe it's been over 3 months already, and I know the holidays are going to be hard, and next Mother's Day. But it's something we all go through, if we love our parents.
But as I said, my heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. Rely on your support system, let them help you through this time. Time eases pain, it will get better.