Need some prayers and good thoughts update post 31



So sorry. My mom was in hospice last year. She actually lasted 8 months on it, much longer than anyone expected. She was such a fighter but when it is time for her to go, you need to let them know that it's okay and that you will be okay. Just try to spend as much time with her as you can. I spent at least a few minutes, usually much longer, with my mom every day and I was at peace when she went as I knew I had done everything I could have for her. She often told me how proud she was of me for stepping up, and prior to ber getting sick, I always felt like I wasn't living up to her standards as a wife & mother. By the time she passed, I knew how much she loved and appreciated me.

Just try to stay strong, not don't be afraid to lean on others for strength and a good cry when you need it. So sorry you are going through this, it sucks.
 
Many prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family. I am 31 and also an only child and can't imagine what you are going through. My best friend, also 31, lost her mother when we were 18 and her father died this past spring. She has younger siblings so they can all lean on each other, but it really strengthens you to lose both parents so young. Best wishes and prayers for you.
 


Aww I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers for you and your family.
 
if you can spare some prayers or good thoughts my way I would appreciate it. My mom went into hospice on Friday and my whole world has been turned upside down. I am an only child and only 32 years old. My dad passed away 8 years ago and I am not sure how I am going to make it through. I do have an amazing support system and know they will be there for my no matter what. Thanks

My heart goes out to you, you are so young to have to go through this. I am an only child as well, so we have that in common. And my dad passed away too, it will be 10 years in January. My Mom passed away this past July so it's still pretty fresh for me, and it was truly the most difficult thing I have ever gone through but go through it I did, and having a good support system helps immensely so I'm glad you have that. My Mom had lived alone since before Dad passed away, he had Alzheimer's and spent the last 6-months of his life in a nursing home. She kept him home with her as long as she could, but when he got violent with her a couple times at night she had to think of her own health and safety so did put him in a nursing home. She did well on her own for several years, but she went into a nursing home in October 2015. She'd been having trouble with her medications, not taking them right (even though I was putting them into daily pill boxes for her), and losing weight, sleeping a lot, losing interest in things which are all signs of depression but she kept saying "I'm not depressed." Finally went on medication for it, and it really hadn't had a chance to kick in yet but then she fell (she had falling issues too, and had a Lifeline Alert necklace) on her back deck and laid, in the rain and cold for an hour before she thought to press the button on the necklace. She had a small stroke, and they weren't sure if she had that first and then fell, or if she fell first and then had the stroke but she spent a week in the hospital and then went from there to a nursing home for rehabilitation and stayed there. It just wasn't safe for her to stay alone anymore. So she spent almost 2 years there before she passed away. She lost so much weight, was down to 62 pounds. Just didn't care about eating anymore, had signed a DNR and refused a feeding tube. All I could do was be supportive and be there for her.

She had been doing much better, the depression medication was really helping and she was involved in many of the activities the nursing home provided (bingo almost daily, going to different restaurants for lunches, to the movies, playing cards, etc.) and had gained most of the weight back that she had lost and was back up to 87 pounds. Then she got a urinary tract infection and it all started going back downhill from there.

Before she got much more ill I was going to see her 2-3 times a week, but when she got bad (and on hospice) I was going daily. Many times she said she was "ready to go." She wanted to be with my Dad. I had to accept that, which was so hard. And the funeral was hard, but I gave her the funeral that she wanted so that made me feel a little better. It's hard to believe it's been over 3 months already, and I know the holidays are going to be hard, and next Mother's Day. But it's something we all go through, if we love our parents.

But as I said, my heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. Rely on your support system, let them help you through this time. Time eases pain, it will get better.
 
Thanks everyone for all the kind words and stories. It is nice knowing others who have gone through this and have come out on the other side.

With that being said my mom went to be with my dad last night. It is going to be a long hard road but the last few days I had with her were wonderful. She slipped into a coma Sunday but I think she knew I was there. I took her cat, Clay, to see her and we listened to music.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss {{hugs}}. I glad that you were able to spend time with her at the end and I'm sure it eased her passing knowing you were there with her.
 
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope more and more often when you think of your mother it will bring more smiles than tears.
 
I'm so sorry. Are you able to keep Clay? I bet that will help you as you grieve.
 

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