Need some advice about Kindergartener

[budbeerlady]

Hi guys! We just had parent teacher conf tonight. DD 5 has been in school since the first of sept and in enrolled in a nice priv. school in the area. (Excuse the spelling please I am pretty upset.) We picked a priv school as the public schools in our area arent up to par and we had wanted to have some input on her education and to avoid the situation we are now in anyway. Please dont flame us on that, it is just how schools are in our area as we live in a very poor area. DD recieved unsatisfactory marks in Plays well with others, respects the rights of others, respects authority, follows directions, listens with out interupting, works quietly and orderly, does work neatly, listens attentivly to Bible studies, numbers, familar with sounds of letters taught. Then in the comments she poke a kid with her pencil making the child cry, can finally count to 10 (!) amoung other things! Hello!!!! Pick up the phone, send a note home, email is free!!!!! I know there are 21 kids in the class but I had no idea things werent rosy and well. My dd has been in a very structered day care, learning letters and numbers since she was 3. They give timeouts for any negative behaviour, they run a tight and well ship there. I expected more out of a school room! She can count to and id numbers to 30 and when she does her homework it is right (not always the neatest, we are working on that part) and she knows what she is doing. So what is going wrong and how can I fix it! Besides being mad at not being informed I want to know what would you do to fix it and make the best of a situation. I am going to buy extra workbooks but I am not sure that is all the problem. She knows the info but doesnt preform in the class. Do I ask the teacher to get the school counsler involved as a third party to ask DD some questions and do some of the work for her? How can I fix this and not make the teacher mad at the same time? Thanks for any advice. The papers I got from the teacher tonight were 3/20 correct and 4/15 correct which stunned me as the papers we get home always had smiley faces on them or were artwork type things. Thanks!

 

[Mishetta]

Ughh...I feel your pain! Going thru the same thing with my little guy but he's in a special pre-school for "special needs" children. Now he's ADHD on top of all his other issues! His teacher did let me know though daily about his behavior problems.

Anyway, all I wanted to suggest was that you ask the teacher to let you know when there is a behavior issue at school & not just to wait till report card time. Same goes for any grades that are far less than adequate.

Good luck to you!

 

[HeatherH]

I think you need to request a conference with the teacher, ASAP. No one here can answer the questions you have, except the teacher. She needs to give you specific reasons for the marks and comments, and she needs to discuss her specific concerns with you.

I agree that you should have been informed sooner, I would be upset about that too. Use this as a learning opportunity, it sounds like you need to be more proactive with this school (assuming you want to keep your daughter there) and ASK for regular status updates. It doesn't sound like they will let you know outisde of the reporting periods.

And if you are able to volunteer there (and they want the help), I'd be in that classroom at least a couple of days a week to personally observe what is going on.

I wish you the best.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I'm amazed that you didn't have any feedback that there were issues until this far into the school year. If so many things were not up to the class standards (I'm talking more the behavior) then it seems like the teacher would have already called or e-mailed.

My son is less than an angel in his K classroom, but he informs me when he has gotten into trouble of any kind. They have a green/yellow/orange/red color system in his classroom for behavior and every day he tells me what color he was that day.

There are things that I didn't know until I went to his conference a couple weeks ago, mainly that, according to the teacher, he sometimes lies to get out of trouble when he's done something wrong. I was a little surprised to hear that, but I can't say that I was shocked (he doesn't tend to lie at home because I don't give him a chance ). Also, that he tends to be a bit physical, which was not at all surprising (he's always been that way and we're working on it). Other than those things, the other comments were good, or at least they weren't things that I didn't know. IE, he is behind in his small motor skills, but I knew that from volunteering in his class.

If I were you I would suggest that you keep in closer contact with the teacher regarding both the behavior issues and her progress with the school work. The teachers maybe should assume that parents would want to stay in touch, but some parents would rather not be bothered, so make sure that she knows that you are a parent who wants to be involved. Also, ask the teacher what you can do at home to help out. Basically, let her know that you want to work as a team with her.

Try to keep your emotions out of it, which of course is way easier to say than do.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[budbeerlady]

I just cannot imagine that they didnt say anything about anything untill tonight. DD is smart enough to know that if someone is giving her an inch she can usually get close to a mile and I think that is what has happened. She saw there were no real consiquencse and has taken full advantage of it. I said I want her to call me so I can follow up at home. She has found out in the past that it sucks not being able to watch tv when she had gottan timeouts two days in a row. Her teacher doesnt time out but does positive redirection instead. If it isnt negatively affecting dd it doesnt get through to her. So I have deceided after a few tears that I will have to make a point to contact her everyweek to see what is going on and hopefully she will let me know. So we can follow up at home and then work on why she doesnt preform in class. This was supposed to be the easy years, I expected to hear that she talks too much ( I am sure that is a genetic thing). Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[Auggiedaugie]

As a former K teacher I have to say that the teacher here seems to be in the wrong. If she is not new to teaching then she is ready to retire/move on. I can not comment on the marks that your DD received because I do not know how she behaves in class. But you should have been informed long ago about any potential concerns, especially the pencil poking. A conference is definately in order. Address your concerns to the teacher and try to work out a plan for her to inform you of what is going on in class. You have every right to be upset. Also, I would never write comments like your DD received. The comment section is not to inform you about particular "incidents". It is to give you an overall impression of your child's strengths and weaknesses.....and should ALWAYS begin with a positive comment. I hate to advise getting administration involved but if you can not come to a resolution then you must move up the ladder. I applaud you for taking the extra steps to help your DD out! Remember to be calm and level headed....lots of PD to you and DD

 

[Disney_1derland]

We are first time Kindergarten parents too, just wanted to share with you some questions you may want to ask to get a better handle on what is going on.

Ask the teacher to go over the HOW of how she evaluates each child to come up with these unsatisfactory marks. Our dd's teacher does a one-on-one interview with each of them but does it very innocently a little at a time so the child never feels put on the spot. She may ask a child to come to her desk and phrase it to them like "Charles, can you come help Ms. Teacher?" The child is put at ease by the fact that it is the teacher who needs help and not a 'test', they don't clam up. This gives her a better understanding of what they actually do know.

Ask the teacher for a 6 week outline of what they will be covering. Supplement at home and see if you can gauge where your dd's weak spots are ahead of time. This has helped us tremendously and we know what to concentrate more on at home.

Spend some time observing in the classroom. This will give you an idea of how your dd is doing socially. A lot of the things you pointed out seem to be social issues and it seems to me that is a really hard thing to tell from day to day at this age.

As for not knowing anything up until this point, I don't see any excuse for that on her part! I can tell you that I have seen our teacher struggle with parents this year. They are uninterested, uninvolved and genuinely do not care about their child's progress. I think that our teacher reached out to us at the beginning of the year but by now she has figured out who cares and who doesn't. I make it a point to stop by and see her weekly, even if it's just at drop-off, I do try to spend one morning a week in the classroom. I have developed a relationship with her and now I feel confident that she will come to me with any concerns as soon as she has them. Build a relationship with the teacher if you haven't already (I assume that you have, you seem to be a genuinely concerned parent!) the teachers REALLY appreciate the few parents that care.

Hang in there, it's a new experience for you as well as your dd and I know it's not easy, we went through a rough patch for a few weeks and now it's smoothing out. Yours will too!