Hello everyone!!
I loved all of your comments a few days ago about my sorta new boyfriend and the drugs issue (does he take them or not/he wont tell me). Well, I had decided that I was going to lay low, not get TOO emotionally attached to him, give him some space, and take it from there. Well, he called last night and we talked for a very long time, laughing and being silly, and we were both in such a good mood I thought it would be okay to ask again, but in a very casual non pressuring way. I said "Mike, hey, I have a question for you.." and he said "Okay, babe, whats up?" and I asked him why he didnt want to tell me (very non accusatory...trying to be very sweet and understanding sounding so as not to over do it.) and after discussing it, he said that he didnt answer because it felt like I was pressuring him and it wierded him out a bit and I told him that i didnt want to pressure him, and he couldnt understand why i thought it was so important, and so i explained to him that its just part of the stuff i like to know about someone before I get involved with them..and i gave him this example--He wouldnt go out with me if he didnt even know my name, that would be silly, and i feel the same way about this drug issue. He was really nice and very understanding sounding and said that he worked so hard for everything he has and it would be down right dumb for him to throw it away on a short amount of "fun time". I felt bad for pressuring him, but in the same breath, I needed to know for my own personal well being about this whole issue. Then he was concerned that I was upset or thought he was mad at me and he was very sweet and soothing saying he wasnt upset at all and its no big deal and I have nothing to worry about.
so, hurray for now! Thank you all so much!!
I loved all of your comments a few days ago about my sorta new boyfriend and the drugs issue (does he take them or not/he wont tell me). Well, I had decided that I was going to lay low, not get TOO emotionally attached to him, give him some space, and take it from there. Well, he called last night and we talked for a very long time, laughing and being silly, and we were both in such a good mood I thought it would be okay to ask again, but in a very casual non pressuring way. I said "Mike, hey, I have a question for you.." and he said "Okay, babe, whats up?" and I asked him why he didnt want to tell me (very non accusatory...trying to be very sweet and understanding sounding so as not to over do it.) and after discussing it, he said that he didnt answer because it felt like I was pressuring him and it wierded him out a bit and I told him that i didnt want to pressure him, and he couldnt understand why i thought it was so important, and so i explained to him that its just part of the stuff i like to know about someone before I get involved with them..and i gave him this example--He wouldnt go out with me if he didnt even know my name, that would be silly, and i feel the same way about this drug issue. He was really nice and very understanding sounding and said that he worked so hard for everything he has and it would be down right dumb for him to throw it away on a short amount of "fun time". I felt bad for pressuring him, but in the same breath, I needed to know for my own personal well being about this whole issue. Then he was concerned that I was upset or thought he was mad at me and he was very sweet and soothing saying he wasnt upset at all and its no big deal and I have nothing to worry about.
so, hurray for now! Thank you all so much!!
