My upcoming trip isn't working out as planned.

[disneysnowflake]

I've been planning this trip since early February. It's coming up in like 11 days. I was very excited until recently.

I had planned to meet my penpal in Japan and her family. I usually hear from her via email every day, but lately her emails stopped for almost 2 weeks. On Saturday I got an email that said Miyuki's husband is very angry and isn't allowing them to go to WDW. Every time he gets mad at her he says they aren't going. She also told me her husband doesn't want me to email her for a long time. I know he has a major alcohol problem. We've been penpals since I was in 7th grade. Now I'm going on 40 years old. I was so excited, but I don't know whether she's actually going or not. I think she's not going.

Now my 15 yo son says he doesn't really want to go. He didn't want to go before since another relative asked him to go to Hawaii instead. We told him he had to go with us. Now he says he wants to stay with my mom and dad instead. I told him he has to go. He said that he already asked my parents if he could stay with them, and he'd just go to school every day. There's a Winter dance at the high school that one Friday when we'll be in WDW. There is also some other event going on at school that I didn't find out about until 2 weekends ago. What kid wouldn't want to go to Disney and would rather go to school that week? I don't understand.

My husband says now that he isn't excited at all about going. He says that if we go that's fine, but he's content to just stay at home for the week. He works way too much. The guys at DH's work don't like Disney. They keep telling him things are way overpriced and all you do is stand in line. He thinks that standing in line for 30 minutes to ride a 1-1/2 minute ride is stupid. He also thinks spending $6 on a hotdog and $2.50 on a bottle of water is dumb. Sigh. He has had zero involvement with any of this entire vacation. He doesn't even know which airline we are taking and what resort we're staying at. He refers to POFQ as "some motel".

My younger boy is 11. The dog is being boarded, but the cat is staying at our home. My parents are going to check on her and the house, plus my other sister is going to check on the cat, too. My son is desperately worried that the dog will be abused at the kennel and the cat will be hurt. Last night he told me he thinks some older teenage boys in our town will break into our house and hurt our cat while we're gone. I told him that isn't going to happen. He's also worried that our cat will become sick over our not being home for quite a while. He's upset in not meeting my penpal's son. My son and her son are now penpals. Sigh.

I have planned this entire trip. I paid for the airline tickets myself. I paid for the resort myself. DH bought the park tickets on Valentine's Day, but I paid him back by mid April. I've got all my traveler's checks, money for tips, money for towncar, food money, spending money, etc.

What in the world can I do to get these people to be excited about this trip???

Last night I got out my Travel Channel WDW holiday video and some other videos. I made some popcorn and told everyone to watch it. Who watched it? Me. Only me.

I feel like I'm going to be at WDW with a husband who would rather watch tv in the resort, a teenage son who really doesn't want to be at WDW and a younger son who will probably have a good time after we actually arrive, but will have a hard time leaving the family pets.

Any tips to get my family excited about this upcoming trip? I even got the newest copy of the AAA magazine with holiday WDW in it. Nobody cared.
I'm running out of time!! I'd really like some advice. Thanks.

 

[Lucky4me]

Have you ever thought about going solo?
Or maybe just you and your 11yo?
You could use the other two plane tickets another time as well as the park hoppers.

It sounds like everyone would be happier.

Last year I went wih just my 9yo. We had the greatest time because we both wanted to be there. DH was not into it at all so I suggested he may have a better time at home. I'm not sure what happened, but this year he decided to go and for some reason is very excited about it.

 

[disneysnowflake]

I did think of just DS2 (my 11 yo) and myself going, but I'm not sure about the airline tickets. When I reserved them I had to give the full name of each traveler. If DH and DS don't use their tickets will only DH and DS be able to use them later.. or can DS2 and I use their tickets in say October 2005 for MNSSHP?? DH was already informed that the 2005 construction season is going to be hectic, and that he won't be able to have any vacation time between Feb 05 and Nov 05.

Can you tell I don't travel via air very much? We're more car driving vacation people.

 

[powellrj]

my advise would be to leave the 15 yr old at home with your parents. When my DS was that age he said the samething, but I kept telling him that once he got there he would have a great time. Wrong once we got there he tried to ruin our great time. The next year he made sure to sign-up for summer school so he didn't have to go with us. Once your DH gets there and sees that its not that crowded and the weather is great, he will be fine. If you do get there and your DH wants to stay in the room and watch tv, just let him and you take your son and have a wonderful time.

 

[bobcat]

Have you been to WDW as a family before? If not then it sounds like your family thinks of it as just another vacation. Teenagers are such social beings that they thing they are going to miss out on something major or their life is going to end if they miss time with their friends. Sounds like younger DS is having pet seperation anxiety. We go through this every trip although I have to nag him to feed and let out his dog while we are at home.

As I see it you have two choices. Tell the family that the trip is paid for and they are all going and they will have a good time. It could be that once you ge there the magic will surround them and you will have a wonderful vacation. Or they could all be miserable and you will wish you took option 2. Only you know your family. Option two is take only your youngest DS. If you have refundable tickets then get vouchers so you can take a second trip. Have fun with your DS and whenyou get home the rest of the family will here all about the great time you had and maybe they will want to go with you next time.

Sorry to hear about your pen pal. Hopefully that works out. I wouldbe disapointed too.

 

[wide awake]

I'd leave DH and older DS at home. Your younger DS won't worry about the pets and you'll both have a great time. Besides, once you tell DH and DS (15) that you don't mind if they stay home, they may just decide that they want to go.

 

[Lucky4me]

Most airlines charge a fee to change-anywhere from $25 to $100 per ticket.
The ticket then can be used by anyone.

I think you'll be able to tell how your husband really feels by just asking him if he'd rather stay home. If he sounds relieved and says thank you, you know he really doesn't want to go. If he gets upset that you'd go without him, then you know he's just being a grump and will most likely have fun once you're there.

My problem is everyone in the family wants to go, but with college and work obligations they can't! I'm dealing with the guilt of that right now.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would also go with only the 11yo! That's an easy one for me, mainly because I'm bringing my 11yo in January.

You 11yo will have a better time because he won't be worried about the animals with your older son and you husband at home. Also, it will be easier to do what you both like--it's easier to please 2 people than 4 (or 6, in my case).

I would NOT bring the 15yo if he does not want to go. Last spring vacation we returned to Universal Studios to use up the tail end of our annual passes (we'd gone spring vacation 2003, also, and had a wonderful time). Our 16yo daughter copped an attitude and was being a major pain in the rear end. She eventually told us (in a very witchy tone of voice) that "nobody asked her what SHE wanted to do for spring break" and that "she'd rather be home with her friends". That didn't go over too well with me. lol

My then 13yo son didn't exactly act pleased to be there, either, which is when we decided that we would not all go to WDW the end of January like we'd planned and I would instead bring only our 11yo (I'm bringing our 4yo for a long trip on Wednesday).

My husband grew up 2 miles from Disneyland and kind of takes the Disney stuff for granted and is not a Disney freak like I am (or as much of a theme park junkie in general like I am) so he didn't mind not going. We did an adult trip a couple of months ago, which he REALLY enjoyed.

Bottom line is that if you and your 11yo would enjoy yourself I would make the airline stuff work out (call the airlines and explain). The worst that will happen is that you will loose the airplane tickets for your DH and DS, but more than likely you'll just have to pay a fee to change them. If they went and were miserable then you'd loose the tickets, anyway.

One more thing, I don't understand the your $, his $. You said that you paid for the trip and that he bought the hopper tickets and you paid him back. Isn't it all your $ since you are married? Maybe I've just been married for too long to remember having my own $, not to mention that I didn't have any $ before we were married and for a couple years after. I've been married for 1/2 my life and I'm turning 44yo on Saturday.

Good luck with your decision!!! Let us know what you decide.

T&B

 

[kilee]

My son looks at Disney as just another trip. He's going to be 12 very soon. We've gone so much in the last few years, that I know he'd prefer to go elsewhere. Same w/ DH. They both humor me. However, on our last trip (9/04) they weren't doing a very good job. I basically really regretted spending the money to be there as they were both pretty miserable. As much as it's killing me, I will not plan another trip to WDW for quite awhile. I am however thinking Disneyland and the beach for 2 weeks-- now this they are excited about. Something different, but still a Disney fix for me.

I say leave DH and older DS at home, you may all have a better time this way. W/ those teenage hormones raging, older DS is bound to be miserable and make you all miserable if forced to go.

 

[emmabelle]

Disneysnowflake,

I'm dealing with the same thing, a 14 yr old son who could care less if we go or not and a 12 yr old daughter who's freaking out about our cat. The cat is staying at home while my parents come in to feed her each day. In July my daughter cried all the way to the airport over the cat. It was painful. I just tell her the cat has no concept of time and really doesn't understand how long we've been gone. I read all these posts that say how some peoples families can't wait to go and I get so jealous, I want my family to be that excited. (whining smilie)

I'd let the 15 yr old stay home, I think he'd probably be a stick in the mud and that would just add stress to the whole trip. Disney isn't typically a relaxing vacation, so I'd keep it as stress free as possible. I've changed airline tickets before, Delta charges $25, plus the difference between the old flight and the new flight if the new flight is more expensive. Good luck!

 

[crazy4dizney]

Well my feelings are a little different,I have two teens dd14 ds13 they have been going to Disney almost every year since they were two years old,some times when Im planning our vacation I dont get the warm fuzzys from the oldest ones. That's o.k because when they get there they do have a great time.Try to point out that Disney is not just for little kids.My kids love Test Track in Epcot,MGM has rocking roller coaster with Areo Smith,and Tower of Terror,plus alot more.Bring the whole family because,years from now they will look back and remember the times they shared with ther family,good or bad!My kids also dont like missing school events and social time is important to them,how about letting your son have a friend get together before or after your trip? Just a thought.Good Luck! If all eles fails just say "WHERE GOING ,AND WERE GOING TO HAVE FUN! WHETHER YOU LIKE OR NOT!

 

[disneysnowflake]

Thanks for the advice.
I telephoned my parents to ask them about DS (age 15) staying with them. They said he asked them twice so far about his staying with them.
I spoke to DS after I spoke with my parents. I told me he honestly didn't want to go.

DH is at work, so after work I'll have a talk with him about DS. I'll also ask him if he would rather stay home or go with us.

As for why I paid for everything. I was going stir crazy being stuck at home in January. I asked DH about going to Disney this December 2004. He said it's fine, so I made it my goal to pay for everything myself.
I work part time (very few hours) as a weekend pharmacy tech at a major store's pharmacy. I get paid not much over minimum wage, but I chose to do this to be home with my children. As a rule all money that comes into the home is family money. There isn't any his only money or her only money.
I just wanted to pay for this entire trip myself. I had a yard sale to earn extra money. I also sold quite a few things on eBay to pay for things. DH offered to pay for the park tickets for us as a Valentine's present, but I wanted to pay him back. It honestly made me feel REALLY good to be able to pay for this entire trip all by myself.

 

[robinb]

disneysnowflake

{{hugs}} I'm sorry your family and friends are crapping out on you at the last minute.

I would tell my family that everything is paid for and that they are going. Period. They have never been to WDW, so they really don't know if they will like it or not. They should give it a fair shake because it is important to you. As for your family ... you and your younger son will have a blast. This may be one of the last vacations with the older son as he'll want to stay home from the next vacation if you allow it this time. Your DH will just have to suck it up and take a break. My DH is also a workaholic and I understand about forcing people like that to take a vacation. They need it and you need to have some family time with them.

Make sure that you get a copy of Bob Sehlinger's Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World. That is the best resource I know to "commando" though WDW and not stand in line. The people who end up standing in line are those who are not prepared.

 

[luvsTink]

When we went last year my dd-16 was a big time eye roller over the whole thing. She is now a believer.

You of course need to make up your mind, but if it was me this is what I would do. I would write a note/letter to Dh and DS, something like this:

Dear loves of my life,
I know that you are not very excited about this vacation, but it is important to me. It is also important to me that you go. I am asking, as a gift to me, that you come along and give it a try. I promise that there is something that you will like. I can't make you go, but I am asking that you do it for me.
Love,
xoxoxo

But, this might not work for you. Regardless YOU should go and YOU will have a magnificent time!
Anne

 

[Chicago526]

If you'd like your DH and older DS to come along, maybe you can offer them an extra special "treat". Some out-of-the-ordinary activity that they'd really like to do. Parasailing, fishing, Disney Quest (for your older DS, though DH's have been known to enjoy DQ! ).

For instance, I'm giving my BF the Rookie Experiance at the Richard Petty Driving Experiance. 8 laps around the WDW Speedway in a NASCAR stock car. It costs a fortune but it is also doubleing as his Christmas present. BF has never been to WDW, and knowing him I think he'll have a great time, but just in case, I know that this will make his trip, even if he hates everything else about WDW (unlikely, but you never know!).

Now of course you may not want/be able to do something that expensive, but I just wanted to give you an example.

If they still would rather not go, then I'd just take your younger DS. If DH is staying home to look after the pets, his fears will be relieved and he'll have a great time! Call the airline and find out the exact restrictions on the tickets. Most airlines are $100 per ticket to change and must be used by the person named on the ticket, name changes are not usually permitted. The un-used ticket is good for one year from the date of purchase, but only has to be exchanged for a new ticket within one year, you don't have to travel within that year, you can travel later as long as the new ticket is booked. But each airline has it's own policy, and may not be as restrictive so call and find out. The worst thing that could happen is that you lose 2 airline tickets, and since that is money already spent that you won't get back anyway, it's not that big a loss.

I really hope things work out for you. I really really hope that things are okay with your pen-pal. Hopefully her husband will cool off and let her travel (the idea of anyone 'letting' anyone else do something makes me mad, but Asian cultures are differant than ours and men often have total control over their familes. Doesn't make it right but what can you do?)

Let us know what happens!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

That makes sense concerning the his money/my money. I do after school daycare and have sometimes earmarked that money to pay for certain things (my trip last Feb to WDW, for instance). It wasn't that it was "really" just my money, but I somehow felt better knowing my trip wasn't draining from the family budget. For my upcoming trips I gave up on that concept. .

Whichever way this turns out will be for the best and you will have a wonderful trip regardless!

T&B

 

[chesirekate]

In all honesty I'd probably just go by myself. A week alone at POFQ would be fantastic! Who needs a bunch of stick-in-the-muds along to drag you down and make your vacation unhappy? Life is too short to waste trying to make people do things they don't want to do. Even if nobody else wants to come, go yourself and have a great time Take lots of pics, tell your family what a great time you had, and maybe they'll change their minds next time and want to come.

I once made the mistake of talking my sister into going to WDW with us. She was a total downer. She actually wanted to skip going to 'that zoo' AK and hang out at the pool on my daughter's birthday. Yeah, she might come to the dinner at Chef Mickey's if she feels like it. Never again will I ever go on a vacation with her. Like I said, life's too short.

 

[Mortlives]

I would take DH and younger DS, and let older DS stay in school. He may be concerned about his grades, and his girlfriend finding someone else at the dance. At that age, if he's not into it, he probably won't get into it. I would, however, tell him he has to check on the pets every day. I would also slap down the relative who offered Hawaii without consulting you.

Once your DH gets to WDW, and sees the look on you and your DS's faces, he'll start to have a good time in spite of himself. My DH is "Disney neutral", but he's the one who thought we might manage a side trip last March break. We didn't, but it's the thought that counts.

I'm sorry about your penpal. It sounds like her husband is afraid you'll suggest she leave him.

Kungaloosh!
Morticia.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

I would definitely take DS2. Leave the other two at home. I think you'll have a great time and once you come back home. You both will have created wonderful memories and will talk about it forever. DS1 and DH might get a little jealous and wished they had gone then. My DH on our first trip complained the whole time we were there. He did not understand that wdw was more than one park, he thought it was one big park and not a lot of walking. Well, it was hot, a lot of walking and a lot of standing in line. When we got home, I told him I was planning another trip, he continued to complain. Well, I told him that I had spent too much money on the trip to bring someone who was going to complain. He proceeded to tell me that now that he understood all there was to, ie long lines, heat, and multiple parks, he would be okay for it now. He hasn't complained since and he's even helped plan some of the trips. We also bought DVC last year, so I guess he likes it. Now he's a believer!

 

[jkjjhuddle]

I am so sorry everything is not working out as planned. I do think I would get DH and young DS to go. DH can sit in the room and rest, but I bet once he gets there he will be game for anything.

Leaving Older DS at home might be the best. I would hate it too, but you do not need to deal with him being a stick in the mud. Have fun and let us know how it goes.

I will be staying at POFQ in May so let me know what it is like.

Kristy