My Sister's Keeper- wow!

[Sparx]

My biggest problem with the story was that Kate might not have even survived the surgery to transplant the kidney. And after the kidney, they didn't know what she would need next. I wonder if the ending were different, how far would they have kept going? How much would they take from Anna?

 

[eliza61]

Mskanga,
Thank you for sharing your story about your daughter. I'm so glad to hear that your daughter is in remission, and you have my prayers for her continued good health. I cannot begin to imagine what your family has gone through.

All through the movie my dh and I were discussing it, and I kept saying I would totally do what the mom in the movie did. Of course a child with cancer takes priority over everything- everything! I think it is a mother's most primal instinct to fight for her child's life.

So what happens when your other children fall apart? When does destroying one kids life become ok in order to save another? What happens to the "well" child when she realizes that her life means absolutely nothing because she had the misfortune to be born healthy?
Or when the first child dies, do the other kids NOW finally get some love and attention? How horrible to grow up unloved and to know the only reason why you are wanted is to be a last ditch survival for some one else.
I just would not ever want any of my kids to feel that way.

 

[lillygator]

This is something that one never knows until they are in the situation. Can you imagine losing one of your children ? I know I can't imagine that as close as I have come to lose one.

while true.....and I pray I am never faced with it, but to create a human life only to save another....is just horrible. Why the doctor in the story had to skirt around the issue to begin with. And once making the decision to go forward with it.....how do you even knowingly create a new child? Petri dish to ensure the right parts are created?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

while true.....and I pray I am never faced with it, but to create a human life only to save another....is just horrible. Why the doctor in the story had to skirt around the issue to begin with. And once making the decision to go forward with it.....how do you even knowingly create a new child? Petri dish to ensure the right parts are created?

Sitting here on my couch, with my children in good health, I agree 100%. That said, I have no idea how my view of these matters might change if one of my children's lives was hanging in the balance. Here's hoping that we never have to find out.

 

[mtemm]

So what happens when your other children fall apart? When does destroying one kids life become ok in order to save another? What happens to the "well" child when she realizes that her life means absolutely nothing because she had the misfortune to be born healthy?
Or when the first child dies, do the other kids NOW finally get some love and attention? How horrible to grow up unloved and to know the only reason why you are wanted is to be a last ditch survival for some one else.
I just would not ever want any of my kids to feel that way.

oh how sad! I haven't seen the movie or read the book, so the only thing I knew about it was the couple decided to have a baby to help save their daughter. I didn't realize they didn't love their healthy child or that she was treated like she meant nothing. hopefully she realizes (true story, right?) that she does matter, that she does mean something.

that just makes me so sad.

 

[mjkacmom]

So what happens when your other children fall apart? When does destroying one kids life become ok in order to save another? What happens to the "well" child when she realizes that her life means absolutely nothing because she had the misfortune to be born healthy?
Or when the first child dies, do the other kids NOW finally get some love and attention? How horrible to grow up unloved and to know the only reason why you are wanted is to be a last ditch survival for some one else.
I just would not ever want any of my kids to feel that way.

Who says the child is unloved? I would consider having another baby if I were in that situation, and that child would be as loved as the others. I personally think that life is a gift, and I'd rather be born, and help save my sister, than to never have been born at all. And if it turned out that child was not a match, I would still love that child tremendously.

We only planned on 3 children, and yet I love #4 and #5 just as much as those who were part of the originial plan - and maybe a little bit more, since the thought of them not being born makes me so sad!

 

[eliza61]

Who says the child is unloved? I would consider having another baby if I were in that situation, and that child would be as loved as the others. I personally think that life is a gift, and I'd rather be born, and help save my sister, than to never have been born at all. And if it turned out that child was not a match, I would still love that child tremendously.

We only planned on 3 children, and yet I love #4 and #5 just as much as those who were part of the originial plan - and maybe a little bit more, since the thought of them not being born makes me so sad!

I got the impression from the movie ( and I was talking about the movie characters) that the other two kids were emotionally neglected and my take was that they knew it. If the little girl wanted to help her sister why did she take her mom to court to be medically emancipated? My impression was because she was tired of being nothing more than a spare part factory. I remember she kept telling her mom that she wanted the chance to play soccer, to go to the prom and have a "normal" childhood and the mom (Cameron) kept dismissing her concerns like they didn't even matter. The son had just as many emotionally issues.

I guess I'm different then, I see too many children emotionally abused that I do think the parent should never have had them if they were not going to love them. I would never have another kid and I say this without being in those shoes, so maybe instead I should say, I don't think I would have a child simply to save another childs life. Let me reiterate, I am not in that situation so who knows what survival instinct would kick in if faced with that.

I do know adults who's childhood is nothing but horrible memories who have said on occasion that their parents should not have had kids.

 

[TeresaBelle]

When this movie came out, I knew it would be too sad for me to see it! So I didn't! But after it left the regular theater it popped up in the $1 theater in a neighboring town. DD10 (at the time) and I were out shopping and saw it and decided to see it. MG...by the end of it we were both sobbing out loud. It was so embarrassing. I felt like a horrible mother for taking DD to see this, even though she wanted to! She was still crying when we got in the car to leave!

 

[cheermom1]

I got the impression from the movie ( and I was talking about the movie characters) that the other two kids were emotionally neglected and my take was that they knew it. If the little girl wanted to help her sister why did she take her mom to court to be medically emancipated? My impression was because she was tired of being nothing more than a spare part factory. I remember she kept telling her mom that she wanted the chance to play soccer, to go to the prom and have a "normal" childhood and the mom (Cameron) kept dismissing her concerns like they didn't even matter. The son had just as many emotionally issues.

I guess I'm different then, I see too many children emotionally abused that I do think the parent should never have had them if they were not going to love them. I would never have another kid and I say this without being in those shoes, so maybe instead I should say, I don't think I would have a child simply to save another childs life. Let me reiterate, I am not in that situation so who knows what survival instinct would kick in if faced with that.

I do know adults who's childhood is nothing but horrible memories who have said on occasion that their parents should not have had kids.

I am taking it you really didn't see the movie b/c she didn't take her parents to court for that reason. It was an excuse to get them to stop b/c Kate didn't want to do it anymore and was ready to die and knew her mom wouldn't see it and she didn't. It had nothing to do with thinking she was unloved but to give her sister her last request.

True she was born to give her sister what she needed but she knew she was loved and wanted. Plus when they were in court her mom told her that she knew her too well that something was up and it wasn't about not wanting to donate anymore. To me that is love and knowing your kids.

I loved the movie and didn't know it was a book and really would like to know the ending.

 

[lillygator]

in the book, and even the movie.....that child was not a loved or wanted child, she was wanted to save her elder sister and that is it.

 

[eliza61]

I am taking it you really didn't see the movie b/c she didn't take her parents to court for that reason. It was an excuse to get them to stop b/c Kate didn't want to do it anymore and was ready to die and knew her mom wouldn't see it and she didn't. It had nothing to do with thinking she was unloved but to give her sister her last request.

True she was born to give her sister what she needed but she knew she was loved and wanted. Plus when they were in court her mom told her that she knew her too well that something was up and it wasn't about not wanting to donate anymore. To me that is love and knowing your kids.

I loved the movie and didn't know it was a book and really would like to know the ending.

I saw the movie and read the book and you did not find that out until darn near the end of the movie.

 

[cheermom1]

I saw the movie and read the book and you did not find that out until darn near the end of the movie.

Yes but once you do see it than why would you still think that was what she did? I do agree she was born to save her sister but at the same time you can see how loved she really was. If she wasn't loved she wouldn't have gone through going to court for her sister and not say anything of why and do her best to keep that a secret. Even though she was a child she understood very adult things and what was going on and why. Not saying it was right or wrong but it was what they could do and she knew it.

 

[eliza61]

Yes but once you do see it than why would you still think that was what she did? I do agree she was born to save her sister but at the same time you can see how loved she really was. If she wasn't loved she wouldn't have gone through going to court for her sister and not say anything of why and do her best to keep that a secret. Even though she was a child she understood very adult things and what was going on and why. Not saying it was right or wrong but it was what they could do and she knew it.

I did. It's on HBO again so I'll watch again but all through the movie I thought Camerons character showed nothing but disdain for anne (was that they well one.)
Ok, maybe unloved is harsh but definitely, definitely felt the other kids were totally ignored and treated as an afterthought. I actually felt that that the sick sister was the only one who really cared about her.

 

[mjkacmom]

I did. It's on HBO again so I'll watch again but all through the movie I thought Camerons character showed nothing but disdain for anne (was that they well one.)
Ok, maybe unloved is harsh but definitely, definitely felt the other kids were totally ignored and treated as an afterthought. I actually felt that that the sick sister was the only one who really cared about her.

That's your impression. I felt she was a mother very overwhelmed with saving her child, not that she didn't love her other children (and in the book, there is a whole part about the son being a juvenile delinquent). I see her reacting the way most moms would react if they had a child who was terminally ill. I just read another of Jodi Picoult's book, Handle With Care, about a single mom who's oldest has Aspergers, and it's a similar situation, where she puts all of her physical and emotional energy on her oldest, and her yougest is affected. Maybe if you read the book before the movie, you would see the love.

 

[emer95]

in the book, and even the movie.....that child was not a loved or wanted child, she was wanted to save her elder sister and that is it.

Then you read a different book and watched a different movie than I did. Unloved and unwanted? Not at all.

 

[emer95]

So what happens when your other children fall apart? When does destroying one kids life become ok in order to save another? What happens to the "well" child when she realizes that her life means absolutely nothing because she had the misfortune to be born healthy?
Or when the first child dies, do the other kids NOW finally get some love and attention? How horrible to grow up unloved and to know the only reason why you are wanted is to be a last ditch survival for some one else.
I just would not ever want any of my kids to feel that way.

I completely disagree with everything bolded. I think those are sweeping generalizations and untruths, and none of the things Anna went through even come close to what Kate had to go through.

Thankfully, blessedly, my children are healthy, but my best friend lost her teenage son to A-T three years ago. It was horrendous and I watched her watch him suffer. You'd better believe she would have done everything in her power to save his life. As he came to the end and I literally watched this boy die in front of me, it made me think a lot about my own children, and what I'd do in the same situation. I would do anything possible to save my child's life.

And, for the record, ANY child I'd be blessed enough to have in my life would be loved, wanted, cared for and treasured. To insinuate that they wouldn't really makes me mad.

 

[lillygator]

Then you read a different book and watched a different movie than I did. Unloved and unwanted? Not at all.

nope read the same Jodi Picoult book and saw the same movie with Cameron Diaz....she loved her older sister.....she loved her brother, the kids all loved each other, I believe the dad loved them as well. The mother was only concentrating on keeping her eldest alive, and doing it at ANY cost. When given the lawsuit, she started yelling at her daughter, not even taking a step back and realizing what she has done to that child her entire life - my god, as soon as she was born, the doctors were taking things from her. Horrible.

 

[Mskanga]

It is easy for those who are not in the situation to judge and say what they would or would not do , all I have to say is walk a mile in the parents shoes and then tell me.

No parent would ever want to put any child at risk , and no parent would stop loving any child for any reason.
Ask any parent that has been in that situation and see what they tell you.