My Sister Wants to "Fly By The Seat of Their Pants" on WDW Trip?!

[WaltD4Me]

Ok, so I'm the planner/cooridinator for my family's WDW trip in December. There are 3 families going. 10 people total.

I've been planning, reading and booking airfare, rooms and tickets now for a couple months. Today we are having a Disney trip meeting, just so everyone knows what is going on, where we are going, staying, ect, ect....

I called my sister to make sure my BIL can make it as he might have to work for a little bit today and she said "We really don't need a meeting, we just kinda "fly by the seat of our pants" on trips.

Uh, Ooooooookkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!

I mean this is DISNEY WORLD and I'm not trying to micro-manage the whole trip or anything, but it's a BIG place and there are 3 families involved, we need a LITTLE bit of a plan don't you think?

I made a very loose and general sample intinerary and my sister says they just want to wake up and go "Oh, I think we'll go to Animal Kingdom today."

Guess it's going to be an interesting (and very SHORT) meeting! LOL!


Lisa

 

[zurgswife]

I do a lot of planning with regards to places/airlines/ car rental...maybe a PS or 2...an illuminations cruise....but we also like to just go when we get there....

Really isn't so bad.....

 

[maciec]

I know how frustrated you are. My MIL and FIL wanted to do the same thing until I bought them the Unofficial Guide to WDW and my MIL started reading. She was very thankful in the end because she said they would have missed so much had they not gotten the book.

To each his own, but for those going on their first trip I don't know how wise of a decision it is.

If this is their first trip buy them the book and maybe you could say something along the lines of "since you aren't going to the meeting I think you'll need this". Who knows maybe it'll shock them into their senses!\

 

[ryansmom]

Similar situation here. There 11 of us going. I've been planning (with the help of my DU agent) for a year. No one else has had anything to offer---no suggestions of where to stay, eat or what to do. So last month after most of the planning has been done, we were all together and I showed them our itinerary. NOW they had opinions---"why are we going there, I don't want to try that restaurant, why not Typhoon Lagoon instead of Blizzard Beach, etc, etc." Well too bad! What's done is done! If there is something that they do not end up enjoying TOUGH! I plan on enjoying it all!
Yes, my family drives me crazy, but I still love them!

 

[poohkinandpiglet]

How about suggesting a touring plan for everyone to follow?
Then, all you have to do is set a time for meals, etc...

I love the touring plans in The Passporter since they are on the back of the park maps.

At least, they could wake up, decide which park to go to and have a touring plan ready to go.

Personally, I couldn't function that way but to each his own.

 

[BevS97]

I would suggest places for the entire group to meet up periodically - maybe for dinner each evening, or for a couple of special events throughout the trip, and then let them get on with it - you can have your plan, and let them do it their way, and you can meet for dinner, or a show each day and compare notes.

I like to have a plan, but I know that if I tried to force that on people who don't like one, then we would have conflict - so let everyone do what they will, but make sure they know that YOU will have a plan and you won't be waiting around each morning while they decide what they are going to do.

 

[WaltD4Me]

I'll tell ya, if it was just my sister and her husband, I would just hand them a guidebook and say "good luck," but my two nieces are coming (9 and 5 years) and they are the ones I really want to experience Disney World with. My 5 year old niece is over the moon about Cinderella and I don't want to miss the first time she sees her castle and my 9 year old niece just got into rollercoasters and I can't wait to take her on Rock N' Roll Rollercoaster!

I honestly don't want a plan down to the minute, but I do want a general idea of what park we are going to be at on what day. I have asked for ideas, suggestions, comments, ect all along the way, but everyone seems happy to let me do the planning -- which I really do LOVE too, so I'm not complaining about that, but I don't want to do all the planning and then never see anyone once we get there.

PLUS I want everyone to have a good time and I have learned SO much about the best days and times to go where that I want to take advantage of all the great info.

Lisa

 

[zurgswife]

PLUS I want everyone to have a good time and I have learned SO much about the best days and times to go where that I want to take advantage of all the great info.

I have learned the hard way no matter how much you gentlely try to get people to follow your directions...if they don't want to they won't listen...and it's your feeling that will get hurt....it is for this exact reason... i will no longer travel with friends or family...

I planned a dinner at Chef Mickey's 2 spring breaks ago for about 25 people...we were at AK and I said if you wait until 3pm to leave you will need to go straight to CR as if you go to the BWV you won't make it intime for our 4:30 ressie....guess what 18 to the 25 didn't head my plees and got on a bus for BWV.....they weren't able to get a bus for over 45 mins...they ended up getting 2 taxi vans to be shuttled over and were 30mins late for the ressies.....Which they nicely held for us ...but if it had been much longer I would have lost my deposit as it was a group ressie and we wouldn't have been seated.....I was angry and sad....i said never again...

 

[dreams4disney]

I can totally relate to these posts. DH and I went in July and had a wonderful time. I had it so planned out and everything went perfect. We have a family trip planned For October. There will be six adults and six kids all under nine. My FIL told everyone I would plan the trip for them. At first I said no then DH told me If I didn't we would not enjoy it because they will not plan a thing. Well No matter what I do or ask no one has an opinion and they keep saying it is up to me. How am I supposed to know what my nephew and niece will want to do? They will not give me any input or ideas and I am starting to get stressed about it. I Told DH that if we have to we will worry about our children having a good time and they can go and do there own thing If the want to. I don't want to be rude but this is our first trip with our boy's and I want it to be great. To make things even harder They are not staying on site so I have know idea when we will get together each day because they are just playing it by ear. UGG! I am such a planner and this makes me crazy. I don't want to start something and then have to quit to go find them.
Sorry to go one. This has been a hot spot for me. DH just does not want to upset his family and neither do I But My Childrens fun is going to have to come first. DH said all will be fine but he does not act willing to split up or anything. I am Going to Have Fun with My kids. I will not let anything or anyone ruin our magic. Thanks for letting me go on!

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

If it were me, I would plan my own family's itinerary and tell them, "tomorrow we're going to MK; you are welcome to join us if you like"

As for PS's I would make separate party ressies (2 tables of 4) so if they no show, you still have your family taken care of.

And I would not make any ressies that require a nonrefundable deposit in the event of a no show.

Good luck with your trip

 

[Schmeck]

Hey, how'd you like to be married to one of 'those people" - the ones that do none of the planning, but then come up with stuff they want to do while you're at the park?

I am

Darling husband wanted nothing to do with the planning of this last trip, that is, until we got to the park each morning. then he kept coming up with "well, why don't we..." and "let's just..."

He got me so frustrated one afternoon at MK that I actually said the F word out loud, in front of my kids, on the bridge between the hub and Adventureland. I'm surprised Tinkerbelle didn't come and fry me with her magic wand! Or they should have tied me up with rope and used me in place of the guy that gets dunked in the well at PoC. I was so ashamed of myself afterwards, but hubby realized how frustrating it was for me to have my plans ignored, after I had spent months researching and working on them.

That night, he actually talked with me about what we were going to do the next day, which rides we were going to go on first, which ones we were going to get FP for, what time we were going to return for an afternoon swim, etc... It was nice that my outburst had a positive result, but I still feel I need to do penance for being profane in the sacred kingdom!

Schmeck

 

[KIRSTIN'S MOMMY]

I just got back from a week long trip with 16 family members. I had the exact same problem! They all said "You're the Disney expert, you plan things and just tell us where to go." Well, that was all fine until I started to actually BOOK things, then everyone was complaining about the price, the times, you name it, they complanined about it! I planned one thing per day (with the exception of our MGM day when we had 2 ps's) for all of us to get together. It worked out really well. It's WAY too hard to keep that many people together in a theme park. I know you want to see them enjoy themselves, but really, don't let it be at the expense of you and your kids having a good time. You can read my trip report on the trip reports board if you want, we tried staying together the first day and it was awful! Just go ahead with your planning, give them the itenerary, and let them do with it what they want.

 

[CindyAnn]

I feel your pain! We did this several years ago with DH's family and it just about drove me nuts! Fortunately, we had 4 days to ourselves and then 3 days with the entire family, but nobody had an opinion until faced with reality. Then it was "that's too early", "that's too late", "that's too far" etc, etc. We just ended up saying that this is what we're doing today, and you can join us or not as you please. We did, however, all meet up for dinner every night.

Maybe you need to tell your sister that if she plans to "fly by the seat of her pants" she may very well LAND on the seat of her pants, too! On the other hand, since you seem to have very different styles of planning, maybe they'll be perfectly happy with their approach.

How about planning one day where you'll take your neices with you, and head out for some of your favourite rides. That way you get to enjoy their reactions, and at the same time you become some kind of aunt-superhero! Heck, maybe your DS and DBIL will even want to come along for the fun. Maybe you could also plan some key meals together that you think everyone would enjoy, too.

Good luck, and try not to scream too much.

 

[turnlisa]

Plan something -- you will be glad you did! Do it for your own sake of sanity. We have never done WDW with family but I planned a family vacation this summer for 14 people which included 6 families. No one wanted to plan anything but had tons of opinions and helpful information at the last minute -- ARGHHHH! If I hadn't planned anything, we would have had no place to stay, nothing to eat and my kids would have had a whole vacation of watching adults stand around trying to figure out what to do.

I think flying by the seat of your pants is o.k. for your own family but with that many people -- NO WAY!!! We are going to WDW in November. I have only planned a couple of things and most of the rest of it is unscheduled. There are only 4 of us so it is not a problem. I would at least plan things for those interested in planning and then hand out the itinerary and let everyone else decide if they want to join you.

 

[WaltD4Me]

Thanks so much for everyone's input!

The meeting last night went ok at first, but by the end no one was really listening (I swear it wasn't a long meeting!) but I made these little informational folders with info in them and hopefully they will read them at some point.

We sorta, kinda, decided to try and at least be at the same parks on the same days and on what night to do Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party, so we did get something accomplished.

For my part, I've decided to take my nieces on the MK Family Magic tour. My sister and BIL don't want to go, so I'll get some time with my nieces at MK and my sister and BIL will get a little time on their own.

We are 90 days out now...or maybe 89 and if I don't get character meal choices with in the next week or so, I'm just going to book them (none that are pre-paay) and then they can come if they like. I LOVE the idea of booking 2 seperate ressies!

I think it's going to be an "interesting" trip.
I did get my feelings a little hurt at the meeting last night about a relatively minor thing, so to avoid bigger issues and more hurt feelings, based on everyone's advice here, I've decided to just make my plans and everyone else can come....or......not come.


Lisa

 

[WeluvDisney2]

Make a list of the parks you will be going to on certain days, along with priority seatings that you want to book etc. and give it to her. Tell her this is what you will be doing and to let you know by Friday (or whatever day) if she wants to be included in any of your reservations, because that is when you will be booking them.
Otherwise, she will know where you will be when, if she wants to meet up with you. Then just go and have fun with your family! Good Luck!

 

[all4fun]

Lisa,
I agree with the pp's about making your own plans and letting them just meet up with you when they want. DH and I made the mistake of thinking we could plan a family trip last May and then were horribly disappointed when our other family members weren't as excited about things (or were downright negative some of the time). To this day, I still don't know what they were expecting! I think making plans actually helps to build the anticipation for the trip, so maybe that's the "missing link" with these family trips that go awry? It sounds like you have figured out something that will work for you. Just don't let those rellie's get you down if they don't "feel the magic" the way you do!

Hope you have a wonderful trip.
Cheryl

 

[KIRSTIN'S MOMMY]

I can totally relate to all4fun's post! That is what I experienced as well. It just seemed like everyone was totally uninterested. I also made folders for everyone (and spent a pretty penny mailing them as well, since there were several family members out of state) and they didn't even look at them! My BiL actually brought his along on the trip and was trying to read it while walking through AK because he was so overwhelmed when he got there. I had also sent them a big box full of things to look over (WDW planning video, our own home videos of things that we wanted them to see like Spectro etc., maps, resort info), they didn't look at that either. So don't be disappointed if they aren't as excited as you are. I had to find that out the hard way. I was so upset during the planning phase of things that they didn't want to talk about the trip, they actually told me to shut up about it! But once they got there they understood the need for it all and were glad for the planning that I did. I'm glad that you're getting some time alone with the kids to show them what you really want them to see. I would HIGHLY recommend the Magical Gatherings Fireworks Voyage. We did that the first night to kind of get everyone in the mood, and it was wonderful. I don't remember if you're staying onsite or not, but you have to be a Disney resort guest to do it. Definately worth every penny! Also, as far as the ps's go, since we had so many people in our party, all of ours had to be held with a credit card. They will charge you $10 per person that doesn't show up if they ask you for a card number. I'm not sure how big your party has to be though for that to happen. We had to book all of our dining through group services. Sorry this is so long, but this is so fresh in my memory, and I felt exactly the same way! Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[mjmcca]

I have been a participant in large group trips. I basically went with the flow. The alst time we went like that was about5 years ago. I stayed at a different hotel then they did and i stayed a few days less. It was easier to only gather for meals and then let everyone break up into groups. We knew where we would be haveing breakfast or dinner that day and then everyone went their own way. It as easy for me because i was alone . I didnt have any kids yet and hubby doesnt like Disney. I went with my aunts and cousins and their kids. The kids who were old enough would go off on their own and the younger kids would go with either their parents or aunts/uncles. I stayed with my aunts I got to push the wheelchair. I had the best time with the "old ladies" as one of my cosuins call them. Sometimes we werent even inthe same park. The only days we knew where everyone was were the days we went to Universal and Seaworld.


They stayed at the Poly I stayed at WL and every moring i would drive over to them and we would leave together.

 

[Teri Zolman]

I totally feel your pain. I am planning a Grand Gathering for about 30 along with a Vow renewal in Orlando. People are driving me nuts with the indecision. It is only about 3 months away and some are not sure if the are going . I said I needed to know in a week or they would not be included in some of the plans because I need to make Priority Seatings. So far only 9 rooms booked and we are staying at Pop Century. I am also planning one PS a day and letting everyone know what park we will be at or whether it is a free day. It is up to them from there. I have made Welcome bags for every room so I need to know how many ppl. I don't think some ppl that have never been to the World know all that there is to do.