My Neighbor Is So Immature - Ignore or Confront? UPDATE POST 43

[Disney Doll]

I wasn't going to mention the fact that our neighbor did put up a fence long enough to seperate the length of our homes so that their teen age son has privacy when he dances naked.

All kidding aside, our back doors face each other, and one time while I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone I as I always do was walking around while talking. I stopped by my open door for no special reason and low and behold there was their teen age son dancing in his birthday suit. Shaking his groove thing. I started laughing, and yelled into the phone to my friend, "OMG! Girl you should see the little winky show going on here"

2 days later the fence was put up.What an eyes sore the fence is, but at least it is better than the other view I had.

It was probably the "little" winky comment that got him.

Most men don't like their manhood referred to as little.

 

[Disney Doll]

If I were you I'd go to Home Depot and buy a spray bottle of RoundUp. Then about 3 in the morning I'd sneak over into their front yard and write "Go back to R.I." right in the middle of the lawn. Then there's always the old "sugar in the gas tank" trick. But my favorite is the anonymous phone call to Crime Stoppers about the meth lab they're running out of their bedroom!

You are an evil genius!!!!!!! Please harness your power and use it for the good of mankind!!!!!!

 

[sorcerormickey]

Ahhh yes, the fun continues!! (Insert HUGE ROLLEYES here!!!)

We had to cut the grass again today and guess who was standing on his porch watching us??? I saw him standing there and I started over-dramatically rubbing my eyes and making baby-crying noises (I know that was bad - I couldn't control myself!!!) and he got embarassed and went in the house. He then sent his wife out to sit in her car in the driveway and stare at us the whole time. What losers. So sad.

 

[sorcerormickey]

Maybe they have a valid gripe? Of course they should have come to you first, but maybe they think you are the freaks for trying to take over their lawn???

So our accidently ONE TIME cutting a one foot wide, 20 foot long strip of their grass means we are trying to take over their yard? No offense but, give me a break! We have only cut the grass oh, 25 times or so since we've lived here and it has never happened before. If they did it to me, I wouldn't expect an apology - it was an accident.

 

[sleepyone]

Why is it the only weird people in the neighborhood have to live next to me?

A little background: Our next-door neighbors are a family of 4: Mom in her 40s, Dad in his 20s, 2 kids probably 4 and 1. We have only talked to them 1 time when they first moved in (trying to be neighborly on our part) and their whole conversation was about how they should have never gotten married, only did it for the kids, yadda, yadda,....oh, they are also "Very rich because they moved here from Rhode Island." We just kind of avoided any conversation after that other than Hello's.

So the other day, my Boyfriend and I are out cutting the lawn - he mows and I edge and trim. Where our 2 lawns meet, my boyfriend accidently mowed 1 strip of their grass. No biggie. So, the next day there is a hedge of shrubs and plants along the property line. We were out in the garage and we hear the neighbors telling some other neighbors that we "are so rude to cut their grass" and they "wanted to put up a fence to keep us on our property but the HOA would not allow it." HOW CRAZY IS THAT???

So now the neighbors are going around telling other neighbors bad things about us that are not even true - my neighbor on the other side of us had heard some doozies going around the block (he knows us and knows none of it is true.) HOW CHILDISH!

So, what to do? It is killing me to hold my tongue whenever I see them outside, but I do not want to make a scene in front of their kids. My boyfriend says to ignore them, and Mom says confrontation of any kind will probably make it worse. What do y'all think??

I just wanted to say that if our neighbor mowed any part of our lawn I'd ask how much I'd owe them and thank them for the help! Edited to add: our neighbor is out there now mowing his lawn. *please do ours, please do ours*.

 

[Lessa of Pern]

I agree, if someone mowed my lawn, I'd thank them...unless they mowed my flowers or something.

If the hedge went up, that should have ended their "concern"...there was no need for them to stare at you while you mowed your lawn.

 

[suevee]

Mean spirited people are mean spirited thinkers, ie they believe everyone is as bad as they are and out to get them. These people sound paranoid. Ignore, karma is a B####!

 

[jfulcer]

So our accidently ONE TIME cutting a one foot wide, 20 foot long strip of their grass means we are trying to take over their yard? No offense but, give me a break! We have only cut the grass oh, 25 times or so since we've lived here and it has never happened before. If they did it to me, I wouldn't expect an apology - it was an accident.

Well, honestly, yes that's exactly what I think could happen. One time turns to two, that turns to 3, and all of a sudden your yard is bigger. If I hadn't seen it happen before my very eyes, I'd not be playing devils advocate. So I won't go as far as saying you owed them an apology but talking to them about it might have been a good thing. Communication - it goes long way towards solving a problem....

Your comments about the last lawn mowing lend a little more light on the situation. They acted immature, but you turned right around and were just as bad. And you wonder why they sat there and watched?

 

[sorcerormickey]

I'm not even going to respond to your comments, jfulcer. I'll probably get kicked off the DIS for what I have to say.

 

[Skatermom23]

Well, honestly, yes that's exactly what I think could happen. One time turns to two, that turns to 3, and all of a sudden your yard is bigger. If I hadn't seen it happen before my very eyes, I'd not be playing devils advocate. So I won't go as far as saying you owed them an apology but talking to them about it might have been a good thing. Communication - it goes long way towards solving a problem....

Your comments about the last lawn mowing lend a little more light on the situation. They acted immature, but you turned right around and were just as bad. And you wonder why they sat there and watched?

I've seen this happen on our street. If you have neighbors that you are friendly with then there is no need to explain minor situations like this. However if the neighbors are folks you don't really get along with in the first place then explainations are necessary to maintain peace.

 

[Lil_Tink]

Well, honestly, yes that's exactly what I think could happen. One time turns to two, that turns to 3, and all of a sudden your yard is bigger. If I hadn't seen it happen before my very eyes, I'd not be playing devils advocate. So I won't go as far as saying you owed them an apology but talking to them about it might have been a good thing. Communication - it goes long way towards solving a problem....

Your comments about the last lawn mowing lend a little more light on the situation. They acted immature, but you turned right around and were just as bad. And you wonder why they sat there and watched?

God, Its just a yard. Grass. A foot or two that your neighbor mows isnt going to kill you. In my old house, we had a long stretch of grass with no divadors. Basically we mo'ed it for our neighbors over a little and ours sometimes. No mind, less work for all of us. Also on the other side we had a tree fort, half on there property half on ours, My parents didnt care if there kids played in that part of our yard, vis versa.

 

[piratesmate]

I don't know if there's a similar ordinance where you are, but....

A number of years ago my DBIL got into with his neighbor over the grass. DBIL had an 8' redwood around their back yard to keep their Doberman contained. The township would not allow him to put the fence on the property line, so there was a strip of grass on the outside of the fence that DBIL had to mow. The neighbor was a lawn Nazi - (had ChemLawn come & kept the lawn "scalped") and didn't like the way DBIL kept his lawn.

So he started cutting the grass along the fence & had the ChemLawn guys spraying right along the fence too. It got really ugly for a while, but DBIL had to keep after him about it because it seems that if the neighbor had "cared for the lawn" for a certain period of time ownership reverted to him.

Maybe they had someone do this to them where they lived before? Then again, there's no accounting for the nutty behavior of some people.

 

[jfulcer]

I've seen this happen on our street. If you have neighbors that you are friendly with then there is no need to explain minor situations like this. However if the neighbors are folks you don't really get along with in the first place then explainations are necessary to maintain peace.

That's my point. Both the OP and the neighbor have had immature moments. So it's obvious there may have been a little tension to begin with.

There was a period of time where I took care of my neighbor's lawn with my wife's occasional help. One fall day my wife is out raking leaving for our neighbor. Our neighbor has a big tree that straddles the lot line for the next neighbor down so leaves fall on both lawns, even though the trunk of the tree is on my neighbors lawn. The neighbor of my neighbor comes out and berates my wife for not raking HIS leaves too. My wife isn't confrontational so comes in and tells me and I go talk to this neighbor and discuss leaves falling/etc. He's got a huge silver maple too and it drops leaves pretty much over the range of 4-5 houses. I ask him if he wants us to rake the leaves from this small tree when would he be around to rake the leaves that fell from his big tree? He said "oh, I didn't think of it that way" and all was good.

So instead of getting into a huge arguement with him over it, we communicated and problem solved. I could have gone and continued to rake leaves for my wife and stuck my toungue out at this neighbor, but we know how well that works, don't we?

I'm not even going to respond to your comments, jfulcer. I'll probably get kicked off the DIS for what I have to say.

This tells me even more. If you and I - total strangers thousands of miles apart - can't have different opinions about the same situation without you suddenly feeling the need to be vulgar, I think there is a LOT more to this neighbor battle than what meets the eye.

 

[disneyaggie]

Ignore. What goes around comes around. Eventually they will look like the idiots. Though when the amps are blaring I might make an anonymous call to Child Welfare out of concern for the children.

Absolutely!

I was thinking the same thing. I would be on that phone so fast to CPS, they wouldn't have time to think about their grass! If they are damaging her hearing, what else are they doing that they don't consider for her well being?

 

[poohandwendy]

Ahhh yes, the fun continues!! (Insert HUGE ROLLEYES here!!!)

We had to cut the grass again today and guess who was standing on his porch watching us??? I saw him standing there and I started over-dramatically rubbing my eyes and making baby-crying noises (I know that was bad - I couldn't control myself!!!) and he got embarassed and went in the house. He then sent his wife out to sit in her car in the driveway and stare at us the whole time. What losers. So sad.

I dunno, you asked what we thought and pretty much everyone said 'ignore it, leave it alone'. I just don't see this type of behavior as productive. If you are going to act childish too...well, that just will make matters worse.

So, don't be surprised when this escalates into a bigger feud...

 

[Lewski709]

I'd suggest getting a small fence from the dollar store. Most people buy them to put around small trees to keep the wild animals out. They are about a buck for two. They just stick in the ground and are considered lawn deco. No HOA violations, at least I wouldn't think so. Put them on your side about 2 ft in from the line and wa la. Leave the rest of the yard for them to mow. No worries. Don't add fuel to the fire. Some people are just NUTS about their lawns. I too would welcome someone cutting our grass.

 

[agnes!]

OMG, I think we have the same neighbors. Only our neighbor's are complaining because my kids balls go into there grass....so, they planted 3 bushes and 2 pine trees
where our yards meet. Then, while we were in FL last month, they added a little fence to protect the bushes. She's such an idiot. (the wife wears the pants!) And, to top it off, they called the police on us a couple weeks ago because apparently my boys killed one of her $10 bushes.
I had one big confrontation with her last year when she came to my door and now we just ignore them.

I saw a "Best of Saturday Night Live" Saturday & now I know where your Tag Line(?) comes from! Long live Blue Oyster Cult & Christopher Walken !

agnes!

 

[daisy_77]

Ahhh yes, the fun continues!! (Insert HUGE ROLLEYES here!!!)

We had to cut the grass again today and guess who was standing on his porch watching us??? I saw him standing there and I started over-dramatically rubbing my eyes and making baby-crying noises (I know that was bad - I couldn't control myself!!!) and he got embarassed and went in the house. He then sent his wife out to sit in her car in the driveway and stare at us the whole time. What losers. So sad.

 

[Skatermom23]

This thread and the opinions of most here have me really shocked! We have a really uneven property line on both sides of our house. My 14 year old DS has started cutting the grass and on occasion has gone over the property line. Since I see most of the neighbors on a regular basis, I generally will offer some sort of apology that DS has not kept to the correct line. Now, these are people we all get along with, but the explanation goes a long way to smooth things over. The point is, that is isn't a big deal, but common courtesy says a brief explanation is just NICE!

 

[Michie]

I dunno, you asked what we thought and pretty much everyone said 'ignore it, leave it alone'. I just don't see this type of behavior as productive. If you are going to act childish too...well, that just will make matters worse.

So, don't be surprised when this escalates into a bigger feud...

It is alot easier to like your neighbors than not to.