My Mom Just Passed Away

[FleetLn]

Hi Everybody,

I am so glad we now have this forum. I never thought I would need it, but I do now.

My mom just turned 51 when she passed. She passed away due to septic shock, which in other words is in infection that her body couldnt fight off. The funny thing is, well maybe not soo funny, me my dad and mom were in Disney Sept.30-Oct. 6 and she passed away October 21st. It was fast and not painful. Bare with me if the is a bit choppy lol. I have no brothers or sisters. I want to go back to Disney, but I am afraid. Cause she never made it home, she was short of breath on the plane and the ambulance was on the runway by the time we landed. She wanted this trip more than anything. She verbally sparred with my dad on it lol. Anyways, my parents were married for 34 years. My Dad and me want to go back at some point but we are not sure "when" that time is. Oh by the way the good thing is we did the Leave A Legacy thing and we have a plate with the three of us. Does anybody have an idea of when a good time is, cause sooner or later I will have to come face to face with the reality that she is gone and that we have to move on. Any advice would be great! Thanks in advance.

Dani

 

[Christine]

Dani,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. 51 is VERY young! What the heck happened? Was she suffering with some other illness because it's not normal to just come down with sepsis?

As far as "when" to go a do something, I'm not sure what that answer is. Sometimes, I think as time passes, you will know in your heart when you are ready.

 

[safetymom]

You will know when the right time is. We went for Christmas after my husband died because I couldn't do the holidays with all the family.

Please don't think there is a right and wrong time to go. Go when it feels right for you and your dad.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Dani...I wanted to send you a hug and tell you how sorry I am to hear of your Mom's passing.....I lost my Dad when he was 52 and I remember how hard that was for me...I was 17..

Anyway, I am so glad she got to take the trip with you all and that you will have those memories of you all there. As far as another trip, you and your Dad will know when you feel up to going again....and it will be the right time for you both..

 

[Cherry]

Dani, I am so sorry about your mom. Having just lost my husband, I know how you feel. I am glad you got to have the trip to Disney together. My husband and I had our last trip to Disney last November, and I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. It won't be easy but, as someone said above, you'll know when you're ready to go again.

Keep thinking of all the happy times you had and don't let the sad times overwhelm you. I'll pray for you and your dad.

Hugs!

 

[goofy4tink]

Oh Dani, I'm so very sorry you have lost your mom. How terribly sad to lose her while she was still so young.
I lost my mom just over three years ago. She and I took my dd, then 5, to WDW for my dd's and my first trip there, back in '99. Then, after several trips with my dh, we bought DVC unbeknowst to my mom. We got our final approval papers the day of her funeral! We had been in the process of putting together a trip for the following summer to surprise her with. She died having never known about it. That was in Oct '03. My dd and I were so very sad...my dh finally said to just head for WDW and try to have some good times. So, off we trekked. It was a bittersweet trip, knowing that my mom was supposed to be going with us on the next trip. But it served a purpose for us...we got away from the local area, cried a ton in WDW and worked it out.
You will know when the time is right to go back...what is right for me won't be right for you. Only you can make that call. Take your time, cry and mourn. I still cry and get down, even after 3 years. It may not get better but it will 'scab over' and get different and livable.

 

[TnRobin]

No one can tell you when a good time is. Listen to your heart and decide when you are ready.

In the past I have been to WDW 2 or 3 times a year. This past March, I lost my mom to cancer and I have not been to WDW since. It has just been too difficult to enjoy the things in life that once made me happy. That said, I think I am ready. I will be leaving for WDW on New Years Eve. That is almost 10 months after my mom's death.

I am not sure I would even be going then if it were not the coming holidays. I need something to get me through my first christmas without mom so I turned to the one thing that has always made me happy and relaxed. I have to admit it has been hard to get excited about it. I usually am a tither by now planning, buying tickets, picking out clothes, but I am not. But as the day approaches, there is a little touch of excitement underneath somewhere. So there is hope. And with hope we can accomplish the impossible.

Go when YOU are ready.

 

[CarolynU]

Dani my heart goes out to you. What a shock for you all. There is no right time really. Only a time when you feel that you are ready to try and face visiting a magical place minus a main part of your magic. I lost my husband in August just like Cherry, and we are both going to try to face a visit this Christmas. We'll tell you how we get on, but there is no right or wrong; just brave choices.

 

[JandJ]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom, who was my best friend June 10, 2005, she was 65 and it was just 4 months before my Disney Wedding. No one can tell you when the right time is to do anything. For me, I knew mom wanted me to get married to my wonderful husband as planned, in Disney, but we did cancel our at-home reception, a party was just not right. I couldn't face Christmas with my family without my mom, she held Christmas together for all of us, so DH and I went away for the holiday. It was the best thing I could ever have done for myself! The other great thing I did was start grief counseling. It took several months for me to start, but once I found someone to talk to about the loss of my mom, it really helped.

My deepest condolences on your loss.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Hugs Jen.....I hear you on the grief counseling and will file that in the back of my mind....I do believe it is the right way to go when you have had such a great loss...

 

[safetymom]

I was lucky when my Mom and Husband died to find an online support group. If I was having a moment in the middle of the night where I didn't know if I could go on someone was there to listen.

We all became very close friends. I don't know how I would have made it through if not for that group and my kids.

Being able to talk with others that have experienced a loss like yours is invaluable. They truly understand where most people don't.

 

[CarolAnnC]

My condolensces to you on the loss of your mom. It is wonderful that you spent a last trip to WDW for her. Memories keep us going sometimes...hugs.

 

[Shugardrawers]

My hugs and best wishes to you. I lost my dad when I was 19. He was only 42 and it was a long, drawn out death from liver disease. How shocking to have your mother in good health one minute and gone the next. You must be so numb. I have to agree with everyone else. We all mourn at our own pace. Only you can decide when the time is right.

On a bit of a lighter note, can I just say when my time comes I want to go like your mom. Having just spent a wonderful time with my family in my favorite place on earth. You are all so blessed that her last days were filled with so much joy and fun. Those are the things to remember and keep near and dear to your heart about your mom.

 

[NeedaVacation03]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss Dani. I agree with the others. You will know when the time is right. I wish you the best everyday.
Your journey will not be an easy one, but hold onto the good memories.

 

[DisnyMama]

Dani, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad. You seem to be very strong and you and your dad are lucky to have each other. It is a very tough thing to lose a parent so young. My mother passed when she was 44 in 1983 and I was fortunate to have my grandmother till 2002. My grandmother new how much my DS and I loved WDW so in June of 2002 she gave us a trip to WDW and in late October 2002 she died. Our trip was over Thanksgiving week and we were afraid it would be a sad and not fun trip. Out of the six WDW trips we have taken this was the best one we have ever had. I can't even describe how wonderful it was we just had the greatest time and felt like she was with us. I was sad that I couldn't go home and call her and tell her about it but it was ok. My hope for you is that when you and your dad are ready that you go back to WDW and maybe you try a new resort and maybe go over a holiday and that you are blessed with the same feelings of joy and not sadness. God bless you all.

 

[King Triton]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom passing. My mom past away a few years ago and it's still very hard. Here's what helped me....it's never "a good bye" but "I'll see you later" instead. That really helped me get through this loss. I'm going to Disneyworld in a few days. When I watch the fireworks over the castle, I'll be thinking about my mom and know she's in a better place. God bless you.

 

[JunieJay]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My dad was 50 when he died and my mom 56, so I can certainly sympathize with you. Its so hard to lose someone you love, especially when they are young and its very sudden.

I think you should just play it by ear. When you are ready to go back, you'll know. And I know your Mom's spirit will be right there with you every step of the way.

 

[madaboutMickey]

First, let me say how sorry I am for your lost.
But when I read your post I just fasped. OMG, I couldn't believe how it sounded like me! Here is the short version. Last year Myself, DH and friends went to Disney to attend a wedding. We were there Sept 30 to Oct 6. I wasn't feeling the greatest while there but blamed it on new medication I was taking. Dh even called my dr and he told me to stop taking it and come see him on Oct 10. Well, I never made it to the office. On the 7th I had a fever of 103 and ended up in the ER. I was admitted with a life threatening infection.It was touch and go for a few days . Spent 13 days in the hospital. I barely made it to my daughter's wedding in a wheelchair O Oct 21. IV antibiotics for 8 weeks. Two surgeries. My goal was to go to Back to Disney this past May. It didn't ha[[en but I leave nexr week for a 10 day trip. It has been a rough year but I made it.
You will too. It hust takes time. My prayers are with you

 

[carrie s]

Im sooo sorry for your loss.I will be keeping you in my prayers.

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

Hi Everybody,

I am so glad we now have this forum. I never thought I would need it, but I do now.

My mom just turned 51 when she passed. She passed away due to septic shock, which in other words is in infection that her body couldnt fight off. The funny thing is, well maybe not soo funny, me my dad and mom were in Disney Sept.30-Oct. 6 and she passed away October 21st. It was fast and not painful. Bare with me if the is a bit choppy lol. I have no brothers or sisters. I want to go back to Disney, but I am afraid. Cause she never made it home, she was short of breath on the plane and the ambulance was on the runway by the time we landed. She wanted this trip more than anything. She verbally sparred with my dad on it lol. Anyways, my parents were married for 34 years. My Dad and me want to go back at some point but we are not sure "when" that time is. Oh by the way the good thing is we did the Leave A Legacy thing and we have a plate with the three of us. Does anybody have an idea of when a good time is, cause sooner or later I will have to come face to face with the reality that she is gone and that we have to move on. Any advice would be great! Thanks in advance.

Dani

Dani, I wish I had some advice for you, but I wanted to say how sorry I am that you lost your mom. I will keep you and your dad in my thoughts and prayers.