My Kids are Moving....

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by disney junky, May 18, 2018.

  1. disney junky

    disney junky BWV

    Dec 16, 2004
    My son in law accepted a transfer from here (central PA) to NC. He, my dd and two grandsons will be heading south. I'm happy for them but sad to see them go. Trying to be positive. Lots of trips back and forth. They have lived just around the corner and the boys are 5 and 3. It's a 6.5 hour drive which isn't a big deal for us.

    I'll accept any positive encouragement the dis might have to offer.
  2. lynxstch

    lynxstch I Love Figment

    Feb 2, 2001
    It will be a new chapter in their lives. Change is good,and you will get to go to NC for vacation to see them. So hang in there and keep looking for the positives!
    disney junky likes this.
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  4. PollyannaMom

    PollyannaMom I was a click-clack champ!!

    May 16, 2006

    I'm sure it is hard to see them go! But you will have great fun traveling, and they're also old enough to enjoy Skyping (or FaceTime, whichever you have) with you often. - You can make it a regular routine.

    Also, find out the websites of their school(s) so you can keep up with things,
    and introduce them to snail mail before it disappears!

    The bright side is that someday, when you want to retire someplace warmer, you won't have to factor leaving them into the decision - you'll likely be going closer to them!
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
  5. Lilacs4Me

    Lilacs4Me DIS Veteran

    Aug 31, 2015
    Visit often!

    My son is moving 5 hours away for college this summer

    He has no plans to come back after he graduates, so this is it. But we will make it work, and so will you. 6.5 hours isn't too bad of a drive, even for a weekend.
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2018
    disney junky likes this.
  6. mjkacmom

    mjkacmom DIS Veteran

    Feb 20, 2006
    We almost moved to NC whe I was pregnant with 4 and 5. Fortunately, my DH managed to get a position in an office here (corporate moved from NYC). It would’ve been great financially, but I’m glad my kids got to grow up with their grandparents in town (they never missed a game, concert, play, awards ceremony...). My mom passed away a couple of years ago, when the youngest were 12. Even though we’ve lived here our entire lives, I would consider moving to be with my kids (although with 5, I doubt they will all end up in the same place).
    disney junky likes this.
  7. Cruisin

    Cruisin If you can't carry it, you don't

    Oct 11, 2003
    I have a son, daughter in law and new grandson also about the same distance away.

    It's not ideal for sure but we do our best to make it work. We try to make the trip every couple of weeks and our grandson is just now getting so that we can at least look at each other and sort of interact on Facebook Messenger.

    You just have to get in to the habit of making those trips right from the beginning so that you get used to it and soon you will find the trip not to be so bad after all.
    disney junky likes this.
  8. amcnj

    amcnj DIS Veteran

    Sep 10, 1999
    It's nice you had the years that you did with them close by, and a chance to form a bond with the grandchildren. Now just keep it up via phone, mail, email, skype/etc and visits. You at least have a good base to work off of, and technology today makes staying in touch easier than ever.
    PollyannaMom and disney junky like this.
  9. cabanafrau

    cabanafrau DIS Veteran

    May 10, 2006
    That has to be a tough one to handle. Makes you wonder, did I really have to give them wings? We just have to remember it means they are strong and be grateful of that.
    tcufrog, disney junky and Antaniasmom like this.
  10. Antaniasmom

    Antaniasmom DISNEY FANATIC !!!

    Jun 3, 2017
    I am on the other side of this...we are those kids who moved away with their only granddaughter12. It has been 6 months since we moved from CT to NC and it's been very hard on my inlaws. We call every week, sometimes do video calling, what's the hardest is the holidays as we did not go back for Christmas ..but we've adjusted. My parents on the other hand are fine as I left MN to move to CT 14 yrs ago. It's easier for them to see us on their way down south for winter. You'll be is a better life here in NC so far, it's more affordable and our daughter is happier here. I'm glad you're happy for them, whatever you do, don't ever make them feel guilty for going and doing what's best for them. You will make it work!!
    PollyannaMom and disney junky like this.
  11. usnuzuloose

    usnuzuloose Loosing Boo Boo

    Sep 20, 2009
    It is hard but our children will have to leave at some point. When they get married they have their own family to start dealing with. Remember you can write, email, share pictures and so forth.:hug:
    macraven and disney junky like this.
  12. luvflorida

    luvflorida DIS Veteran

    Feb 28, 2003
    Sending big :grouphug: to you! I know it must be very hard knowing your sweet grandkids will be further away from you.:sad1: My first thought would be to move to NC with them, however I know that isn't always the right answer, or even possible. On the plus side, they won't be too far away and I'm sure you'll be making a lot of trips to visit them!

    We are very blessed and fortunate to live fifteen minutes away from our four grandchildren and we see them all the time.:lovestruc My heart hurts just thinking about not being near them, but I know life can change and who knows what tomorrow will bring for anyone. I also think about what will happen if and when our other two adult children start families. We're in Phoenix, our son is in Nevada, and our younger daughter is in Denver. Right now, I don't see that happening, as our son isn't the least bit interested in married life and our younger daughter is not ready to start a family, either. I know nothing stays the same in life, so who knows down the road.:confused3

    I told all of our kids that they need to construct grandparent pods in their backyards. My husband and I will sell our house and we'll spend four months in Colorado, four months in Nevada and four months in Phoenix every year!:thumbsup2
    trip, PollyannaMom and disney junky like this.
  13. Jennasis

    Jennasis DIS life goes on

    Jun 11, 2000

    I moved to NC from NY 15 years ago and it almost killed my mom. Everyone in my family lives within 20 minutes of each other in NY. She was heart broken....but Facetime has helped. I do a live chat with them every night and we visit a lot. It will be a big change but it will be okay!
    disney junky likes this.
  14. Mickeypooh99

    Mickeypooh99 DIS Veteran

    Jul 3, 2008
    I completely understand the happy/sad feeling. My son will be moving away for college in September. We live in Michigan, and he's going to college in California! I'm so proud of him. He worked really hard to get into a top college, but at the same time I'm devastated! He's 17 turning 18 in December. I'm afraid he will love California, and want to stay out there after he graduates. He's already talking about not coming home for the summer. We are a small town family with all our relatives close by. My niece moved to Texas last fall. I was pretty upset about that. We do text a lot, and facetime. Its not the same, but it does help. I'm glad we have these technologies.
    disney junky likes this.
  15. firefly_ris

    firefly_ris DIS Veteran

    Nov 25, 2015
    I'm on the other side, I moved out of state 12 years ago, and now have 3 children. It's a 6 hour drive. We see each other as regularly as we can and my parents have good relationships with my kids. I do feel bad when they have things like Grandparents Day events at school that my parents obviously can't attend.... but we make everything else work. My hope is that they eventually decide to downsize because they live in a very large house that they don't really need, and get 2 smaller places, one down south for wintering and something small up by us (or even ask us to build on an in-law apartment onto our house).

    [eta] I wanted to say that the 6 hours isn't bad... we are all used to it now. We often do weekend trips -- head down on Friday afternoon and leave Sunday morning. It's not bad, my kids know the route by heart and all of our regular stopping/potty/food stops, lol.
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
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  16. wgeo

    wgeo DIS Veteran

    May 2, 2011
    6.5 hours in a car is totally doable. And I will say that now you have the joy of visits, which is different then living next door. With visits you get to see them for a longer stretch at a time and you get to see a different side of life. AND as has been mentioned on another thread - you can open up your very own summer camp - Camp Grandma and have the grandkids come stay with you, which will be awesome for you and for them.

    Also FWIW - I've never lived anywhere near my mother because of husband's job. We talk on the phone alllll the time and I send her texts of whatever the kids are up to, she is very close to them, and they are very close to her - thanks to plenty of long visits whenever we can manage it. As a matter of fact they are flying up to stay with her for a week, on their own :) and they are very excited.
  17. Lynn CC

    Lynn CC <font color=blue>DIS Veteran who is a veteran DISe

    Aug 25, 1999
    My son moved 3 years ago now when my grandson was 2, from California to Austin for a promotion. So sad to see them go. Since then he's had 2 more boys.
    We vacation together 2 times a year.... lots of FaceTime.

    We will all be in Disneyworld for a week this summer... I can't wait to spoil my 3 grandsons & hug them & giggle. They always say the best part of vacations is Nana & Opa!

    I cry every time I leave them ( my son & husband just wAit for it, & my oldest grandson is the same way).....but I enjoy every minute I get to spend with them.
    You just have to treasure the moments you'll have with them!
    My Daughter in law sends videos of their daily life all the time too which helps.
    Sending you a big hug
    PollyannaMom and disney junky like this.
  18. disykat

    disykat DIS Veteran

    Jun 5, 2000
    Are people talking about 6.5 hours each way or combined? I'm really surprised people act like it's no big deal.

    I currently make a 7+ hour (each way) trip several times a month to help my elderly parents and everyone I know oohs and awws over the distance. It's certainly drivable and doable regularly because I do it all the time. I'm just surprised people act like it's no big deal and you'll just be hopping down on weekends.

    OP, the distance is definitely doable, but having done it many times for a weekend - I wouldn't recommend it! Make room in your schedule for extended weekends - we really find 5 days to be the preferred amount of time for that distance. I can do it rarely, but too many trips down for shorter weekends wear me out!
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
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  19. Kitty 34

    Kitty 34 Hums in her sleep

    Feb 16, 2000
    We've never had the luxury of having our grands close by but believe me if I did and then they up'd and moved away, I would be a mess. When they come to visit, it's sooooo exciting but when they leave I hate it. Sorry I wish I could be more encouraging Disneyjunkie. You will get used to it and you will be proud but just across the miles. Here's a special :hug: for you.
    Micca and disney junky like this.
  20. minniecarousel

    minniecarousel Chris Isaak fan

    Jul 13, 2000
    Hmph...NC is taking our kids! Our younger son & daughter-in-law moved to NY from California to be closer to her family. When their son was 2, they decided it wasn’t where they wanted to raise children & probably couldn't buy a home there either. Because of the COL in California, they didn’t move back here but instead moved to NC. They love it & have bought a home, so I don’t think they’ll ever come back to California. We have visited them & also met them in WDW.
    We have another son who lives across town with his wife, son & his soon-to-arrive daughter. I’m sad that I don’t have the same relationship with the NC sons boys like I do with the local grandson.
  21. scrhsa

    scrhsa DIS Veteran

    Apr 14, 2014
    I hear ya! My oldest moved last year-ish to Kansas City and they have just moved to Clearwater Fla. At bare minimum, a two day drive. AND she is having her first baby. It's so hard. NC is beautiful and so much to do. My Mom lives just outside of Charlotte. Love to go visit.

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