My husband just left me, should I cancel our trip

MMickey

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jul 27, 2014
Well today is a very sad day and I'm not sure what to do.

This morning my husband left me and our kids for another woman. We have a trip planned for December and I don't know what to do. I've been crying all day and comforting the children. They still want to go to Disney despite it all. I'm so numb I can't even think but I don't want to cancel this expensive trip that we've paid for in full and disappointment my children. However I'm so sad right now I can barely breathe. Things have been very bad between my husband and I and the way he left is the ultimate betrayal. I don't think I'll ever forgive him and I do think it's over. I want my kids to be happy and I don't want to take this trip from them but I'm afraid I'll be thinking of my husband the entire time. What should I do?
 

mistysue

DIS Veteran
Joined
May 26, 2009
Let it sit there while you decide.

If it were me, my reaction would be "screw you, I'm going to Disney."
 

jco_direwolf

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 8, 2007
Well today is a very sad day and I'm not sure what to do.

This morning my husband left me and our kids for another woman. We have a trip planned for December and I don't know what to do. I've been crying all day and comforting the children. They still want to go to Disney despite it all. I'm so numb I can't even think but I don't want to cancel this expensive trip that we've paid for in full and disappointment my children. However I'm so sad right now I can barely breathe. Things have been very bad between my husband and I and the way he left is the ultimate betrayal. I don't think I'll ever forgive him and I do think it's over. I want my kids to be happy and I don't want to take this trip from them but I'm afraid I'll be thinking of my husband the entire time. What should I do?
How long do you have to decide about canceling before you lose money? Are your plane tickets paid for?
 

rymahoney

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 4, 2012
This is easy for me to say because I'm not in this situation. But your kids are gonna be sad enough about there dad leaving. Don't take Disney from them. Go and have a blast! It's also already paid for!!
 

JennyDrake

Darkwing Duck's Biggest Fan
Joined
Aug 8, 2000
DON'T DO ANYTHING. You are raw and emotional and it is going to get worse.

Stay put and put in place for yourself and your kids a solid support network of caring people.

Figure out what is the last day you can cancel and still get refund(s)--then don't do anything until *that* day.

So sorry you are going through this. My BFF faced this April 2012.
 

Melissa8905

Mouseketeer
Joined
Jan 2, 2011
First, I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through right now. No one deserves to be treated this way.

As for your trip in December, I honestly think you should go. Your feelings will be varied and complex for the next year, and you will eventually begin to heal (I promise). This trip will be a bright light for your kids; let them get swept up in the magical childhood innocence that is Disney World, and you may even find yourself smiling and feeling good, too.
 

Disneylover99

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jul 17, 2012
I want my kids to be happy and I don't want to take this trip from them but I'm afraid I'll be thinking of my husband the entire time. What should I do?
So sorry....:hug:

Hang on to the trip. It's time to make some new memories without your husband in December. Are your kids really young? Can you take a good friend or another relative with you?
 
  • lauradis

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 20, 2012
    If you booked directly threw Disney you have up to 45 days before first day of arrival to cancel.

    Do not do anything till then.

    My first order of business would be to call

    1. The biggest shark lawyer ever.
    2. Set up family therapy for you and the kids
    3. answer the question do you really want to keep this man?
    4. take all the money out of all joint accts asap/ take his name off all credit cards.
     

    boundfordisney

    <font color=magenta>I think my finger prints are s
    Joined
    Jul 18, 2008
    Do Disney , hopefully by the time of the trip you will be feeling a little stronger, at the very least don't cancel anything at this point in time as your feelings are very raw, prayers to you and your family stay strong and vent on here whenever you need to, Im sure we would all like to help in any way possible:hug:
     

    Manders77

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 22, 2011
    I'm sorry this is happening to you. My brother went through this many moons ago with his ex-wife. I would "sit " on the vacation as of now, don't do anything drastic. But if your husband was on the ressie, I would remove him at least, so he doesn't decide to cancel it. Not sure he would be vindictive, but my brother's ex was. Process everything and just wait til the last possible minute.
     

    TNS_Tinkerbell

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Mar 1, 2010
    Well today is a very sad day and I'm not sure what to do. This morning my husband left me and our kids for another woman. We have a trip planned for December and I don't know what to do. I've been crying all day and comforting the children. They still want to go to Disney despite it all. I'm so numb I can't even think but I don't want to cancel this expensive trip that we've paid for in full and disappointment my children. However I'm so sad right now I can barely breathe. Things have been very bad between my husband and I and the way he left is the ultimate betrayal. I don't think I'll ever forgive him and I do think it's over. I want my kids to be happy and I don't want to take this trip from them but I'm afraid I'll be thinking of my husband the entire time. What should I do?
    Before you do anything, take a breathe.
    Get a game plan.
    See a lawyer, get your ducks in a row.

    I don't know where you live or what your laws are here for divorce, but here in BC, adultery while married, is a quick divorce with fault on the adulterous.

    Learn your rights, think about your future and your kids.

    Right now, the pain hurts so much to focus on what to do, but for your sake, do not let him take advantage of you. Learn from my mistakes, trust me.
    It's hard to think about this, and you likely want to forgive him, but you need to take stock of you and your needs.

    Make sure, if you think he is hiding anything (think money), that you get copies of statements, this trip, who paid for it, is it equal?

    Can you afford to do this trip with your kids, if he turns a rounds and ask for you to pay out his half, if this was split?

    I am sorry that some men lose their way, and hurt the women they say they love.
    I know how much this hurts, and it sounds cliche but one day, you will wake up and hurt less.
    And then one day you will be lighter and feel a able to breathe and one day you will find love again.

    Be strong for yourself, and for your kids.

    It's easy to become overwhelmed.
    Stay close to your adult support system, like friends or family.

    And please seek legal advice, to protect your rights and your assets.

    Hugs, and I wish you good luck.

    And if you do go on this trip, with your kids, enjoy it.
     
  • bibliophile

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Jul 25, 2014
    December is still a long way away and your feelings will be very different then than what they are now.

    I'd wait until November before deciding to cancel. Personally, I'd still go despite it all. You're going to need to build new memories with your children without your husband and there's no better place to do it than Disney.
     

    MMickey

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Jul 27, 2014
    Let it sit there while you decide.

    If it were me, my reaction would be "screw you, I'm going to Disney."
    That was my first reaction as well. I still want to go and we have some time to get over it, if that's even possible.

    How long do you have to decide about canceling before you lose money? Are your plane tickets paid for?
    Plane tickets are paid for, park tickets paid for, I only have $300 more to put down on our room and that's it. I don't have a package. I don't know what to do with his tickets.

    This is easy for me to say because I'm not in this situation. But your kids are gonna be sad enough about there dad leaving. Don't take Disney from them. Go and have a blast! It's also already paid for!!
    Thank you. I might just ahead with it.

    DON'T DO ANYTHING. You are raw and emotional and it is going to get worse.

    Stay put and put in place for yourself and your kids a solid support network of caring people.

    Figure out what is the last day you can cancel and still get refund(s)--then don't do anything until *that* day.

    So sorry you are going through this. My BFF faced this April 2012.
    Thank you. I started deleting him from our dining reservations but I stopped halfway because I was so emotional. I am trying to keep myself together but my whole body hurts right now. How did your BFF deal with it? I feel like I'm in a nightmare.

    First, I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through right now. No one deserves to be treated this way.

    As for your trip in December, I honestly think you should go. Your feelings will be varied and complex for the next year, and you will eventually begin to heal (I promise). This trip will be a bright light for your kids; let them get swept up in the magical childhood innocence that is Disney World, and you may even find yourself smiling and feeling good, too.
    Thank you so much. That's what I think too, maybe I'll feel differently in the next few months. I'm just so used to him being by my side. I don't want to think I can hold it together and then end up bawling on Main Street.
     

    ArwenMarie

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 10, 2013
    I think you should go too, as long as the finances line up ok. I think it will be nice for you and your kids to do this together :grouphug:
     

    jerseygal

    LOVE Vero Deluxe Ocean View Inn Room Sun😎
    Joined
    Jan 1, 2008
    If you are outside the 45 day mark, give this decision time!:sad: Often times
    impulsive decisions are not in the best interest of anyone...

    Hopefully, you will get a chance to think about the trip in more depth after the shock of your personal situation settles in....

    Try to take care of YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN!:grouphug:

    Hopefully, you will have the support of GOOD FAMILY AND FRIENDS as the days move on! :grouphug::flower3: Hopefully, the gifts of strength and perseverance will be with you as you move forward!:)
     

    Toadlover

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Aug 21, 2013
    Well today is a very sad day and I'm not sure what to do.

    This morning my husband left me and our kids for another woman. We have a trip planned for December and I don't know what to do. I've been crying all day and comforting the children. They still want to go to Disney despite it all. I'm so numb I can't even think but I don't want to cancel this expensive trip that we've paid for in full and disappointment my children. However I'm so sad right now I can barely breathe. Things have been very bad between my husband and I and the way he left is the ultimate betrayal. I don't think I'll ever forgive him and I do think it's over. I want my kids to be happy and I don't want to take this trip from them but I'm afraid I'll be thinking of my husband the entire time. What should I do?
    I've been through something similar, though I was the leaver. He went for another woman. Our trip was planned without him for a year later and we still went. That was where my honeymoon was. It was HARD! I even called him several times, I was so out of sorts that he wasn't there without us. Having our kids experience Disney without him was just very unsettling, too. I am glad we went on the trip. I'd say go for the trip. You will be glad you did. Will there be sadness pangs? Yes! You will get through it. It all just takes time. And it will still be fresh-ish in December, I'm here to tell you, but I think your kids and you will still enjoy it. Its paid for: Go. Its your new life together. :) I'm sorry you're hurting. Time does heal.

    ETA: Bring someone else on the other ticket- your mom or sister maybe. :)
     

    mediadiva

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jul 26, 2014
    Well today is a very sad day and I'm not sure what to do.

    This morning my husband left me and our kids for another woman. We have a trip planned for December and I don't know what to do. I've been crying all day and comforting the children. They still want to go to Disney despite it all. I'm so numb I can't even think but I don't want to cancel this expensive trip that we've paid for in full and disappointment my children. However I'm so sad right now I can barely breathe. Things have been very bad between my husband and I and the way he left is the ultimate betrayal. I don't think I'll ever forgive him and I do think it's over. I want my kids to be happy and I don't want to take this trip from them but I'm afraid I'll be thinking of my husband the entire time. What should I do?
    I personally would def go. You can't get away from the fact that you will be sad, but your kids will be smiling and distracted so I would say do it for them. Whatever you do though, I don't think you should feel bad about your decision either way. Do what YOU feel most comfortable doing but wait a little bit to make the decision.
     

    patrickpiteo

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 22, 2000
    It's easy for me to tell you to go.. But if you can don't take the joy and fun of a trip to Disney away from the kids. Especially at a time like this. They and you need to look ahead and what new good happy memories you can all make together.. Hang in there things will get better even though they look the darkest now..
     

    kmb584

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 12, 2010
    So sorry. :( As others have said, right now everything is raw and emotions are high, and it's not a good time to decide if you should cancel. If it were me I'd go. The kids are looking forward to it and it'll be nice to escape from the real world for a week. Go, have fun, start making new memories that don't include your husband. Do you have a friend or family member you can bring? Having another adult there will be good for emotional support. His park ticket isn't his (tickets aren't activated until first use) and can be given to a friend instead.
     

    MMickey

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Jul 27, 2014
    So sorry....:hug:

    Hang on to the trip. It's time to make some new memories without your husband in December. Are your kids really young? Can you take a good friend or another relative with you?
    Thank you. Yes, they're both under 10 years old. I've been thinking about taking someone else but right now I'm so embarrassed I don't know what to do. I've only told a close friend so far.

    If you booked directly threw Disney you have up to 45 days before first day of arrival to cancel.

    Do not do anything till then.

    My first order of business would be to call

    1. The biggest shark lawyer ever.
    2. Set up family therapy for you and the kids
    3. answer the question do you really want to keep this man?
    4. take all the money out of all joint accts asap/ take his name off all credit cards.
    I'm going to contact a lawyer today or tomorrow. Yes I will set up some type of therapy especially for my son, he's a wreck. I don't want to keep him. He's gone and he made that very clear. I went to the ATM and withdrew as much as I could. I will make a trip to the bank tomorrow morning.

    Do Disney , hopefully by the time of the trip you will be feeling a little stronger, at the very least don't cancel anything at this point in time as your feelings are very raw, prayers to you and your family stay strong and vent on here whenever you need to, Im sure we would all like to help in any way possible:hug:
    Thank you so much, I appreciate the support.

    I'm sorry this is happening to you. My brother went through this many moons ago with his ex-wife. I would "sit " on the vacation as of now, don't do anything drastic. But if your husband was on the ressie, I would remove him at least, so he doesn't decide to cancel it. Not sure he would be vindictive, but my brother's ex was. Process everything and just wait til the last possible minute.
    My name is on the reservation. I don't even think he knows the reservation number. I will take his name off today. Thank you for the advice.

    Before you do anything, take a breathe.
    Get a game plan.
    See a lawyer, get your ducks in a row.

    I don't know where you live or what your laws are here for divorce, but here in BC, adultery while married, is a quick divorce with fault on the adulterous.

    Learn your rights, think about your future and your kids.

    Right now, the pain hurts so much to focus on what to do, but for your sake, do not let him take advantage of you. Learn from my mistakes, trust me.
    It's hard to think about this, and you likely want to forgive him, but you need to take stock of you and your needs.

    Make sure, if you think he is hiding anything (think money), that you get copies of statements, this trip, who paid for it, is it equal?

    Can you afford to do this trip with your kids, if he turns a rounds and ask for you to pay out his half, if this was split?

    I am sorry that some men lose their way, and hurt the women they say they love.
    I know how much this hurts, and it sounds cliche but one day, you will wake up and hurt less.
    And then one day you will be lighter and feel a able to breathe and one day you will find love again.

    Be strong for yourself, and for your kids.

    It's easy to become overwhelmed.
    Stay close to your adult support system, like friends or family.

    And please seek legal advice, to protect your rights and your assets.

    Hugs, and I wish you good luck.

    And if you do go on this trip, with your kids, enjoy it.
    I paid for most of it from my personal bank account, he did pay for part of the hotel cost and all of the tickets. I don't think he would ask me for the money back, and I wouldn't give it to him anyway. I would be able to afford it without him. I'm definitely going to a lawyer soon. I guess I hadn't thought of all of these things because I'm still in shock.

    December is still a long way away and your feelings will be very different then than what they are now.

    I'd wait until November before deciding to cancel. Personally, I'd still go despite it all. You're going to need to build new memories with your children without your husband and there's no better place to do it than Disney.
    Thank you. :flower3:
     

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