My daughter has no where to Sleep when she Visits

[bumbershoot]

My daughter lives 1-1/2 hours away and only comes home during Christmas and one night over Thanksgiving. It took me over three years to switch her room to a den. I know of parents that do so after a couple of weeks!

That's kind of what your first post sounded like you did.



If my mom had still lived in the same I grew up in, I would have expected that she keep my room for years.

But she got divorced and remarried, and moved cross-country just after taking me to college, so bye bye house. And yet, the room that would otherwise be the, hmm, it was a weird room. Anyway, it was a room they could use in other ways while I was at college, but when I was home they had a nice big futon couch they got for me. Full sized, and I chose it. Because it was still my home.

And when they moved to VA, they furnished the two other bedrooms so they could function as guest rooms, but my brother and I were able to personalize each as our own, just a bit. Proper beds, bureaus, everything!

 

[N.Bailey]

I have several Coleman air mattresses for camping (like we ever go - LOL). As long as you're not sharing the bed with someone else, I think they are more comfy than sleeping in my bed. If you share it, someone heavier really pushes you up in the air and it's WAY not comfy at all. When I ordered my mattress and box spring when we first got married, hubby and I slept on air mattresses for a couple weeks while we waited for our bed to be delivered. We paid 2K for our bedding and the air mattresses were much more comfy.

I did see someone mention that they can be cold though and I have to agree with that. One time when we went camping (MANY years ago as we're not huge camping types), we just couldn't get warm. They just don't hold the warmth like regular bedding. Perhaps a heating blanket would help? I don't like those types of blankets because they expose the body to electricity for a long period of time (some studies suggest this causes cancer), but since it wouldn't be an everyday thing and your daughter is young, it might be a temporary solution for you?

 

[My sister's princess]

Another vote for the airbed.

I don't think it is odd at all that you changed the room over It's not like she is 12 and went to summer camp, came home and has no place to live.

 

[John VN]

I am in the process of building a queen Murphy Bed for DD's house. She purchased the plans and I purchased the wood yesterday. I just finished cutting the wood about 1/2 hour ago.

She had thought about going the inflatable way but she has many visitors so this way will be better and more comfortable for long stays like when I take care of the 3 grandkids while DD and DSIL are in China picking up #4. I'll also build shelves for both sides for books and such.

Doing this saves $$$$ compared to buying one.

 

[NC State]

I'd feel pushed out as well!!! I wouldn't expect a parent to convert a room until after the child was married, unless they had a small house and needed the space.

And if they needed the space, then I'd buy a futon or a day bed. I would want my child to still think of it as HER HOME too!

I was thinking the samething.

 

[DisneyFan620]

i like air mattresses and cots.

 

[disykat]

Since I plan on allowing my kids to take any of their bedroom furniture with them that they want when they move into apartments, I'll definitely be redoing their rooms. I'm not in any hurry, but as their rooms empty out I'll do as I please with them. Until they're settled into somewhere (after the dorm stage) I'll expect them home to their "own rooms," but once they're into apartments they may well be infrequent visitors.

I find the whole "they're not grown up until they're married" thing some people have going to be insulting. My parents would have to make room in their retirement center I guess since one of my siblings has never married.

 

[bumbershoot]

I did see someone mention that they can be cold though and I have to agree with that. One time when we went camping (MANY years ago as we're not huge camping types), we just couldn't get warm. They just don't hold the warmth like regular bedding.

Yes, you either have to put something that holds heat under the mattress or directly under you. Otherwise the air in the mattress gets COLD, and from experience, it's one step worse than a waterbed when the electricity goes out in the middle of the night.

Since I plan on allowing my kids to take any of their bedroom furniture with them that they want when they move into apartments, I'll definitely be redoing their rooms. I'm not in any hurry, but as their rooms empty out I'll do as I please with them. Until they're settled into somewhere (after the dorm stage) I'll expect them home to their "own rooms," but once they're into apartments they may well be infrequent visitors.

I find the whole "they're not grown up until they're married" thing some people have going to be insulting. My parents would have to make room in their retirement center I guess since one of my siblings has never married.

Not sure anyone here has mentioned marriage?

I moved every college year. Through college I only had as much stuff as I could fit in my car. The bulk of my stuff was at my mom's (since my room wasn't the room I grew up in, it was stored, but it was still there). My mom and stepdad moved to VA just after my brother went to college (never realized that until now), so although he had more of "his" stuff in the room they set aside for him, again, a lot of it was stored, simply because they moved everything and it was easier than creating his old room again.

Even though I was out of the dorm after my freshman year, I was moving too much to get ALL my stuff (nor did anyone have interest in shipping everything from FL to WA). And then senior year I went back to a dorm!

Anyway, it was really nice that I had a place in my mom's house. it would have been so strange to not have a place. But I should also say, that my mom made her craft space elsewhere in the house, stepdad had his space...the only need for those rooms was for us when we visited and/or for guests! So they would be bedrooms no matter what.

 

[DMickey28]

My mom just bought this Aerobed for me to sleep on at Christmas and it was really comfy. When my brother and I both come home for holiday's we don't have enough room so DH slept in bed with DS and I slept on this on the floor in my old room. I put an egg crate on it and the sheets and down comforter. It was super comfortable!!

http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=116359

Dh and I are thinking of getting one to put on top of our queen sized pull out couch for guests. I think it would be more comfy for them.

 

[clovergirl5]

Another vote for the airbed.

I don't think it is odd at all that you changed the room over It's not like she is 12 and went to summer camp, came home and has no place to live.

My dc sleep on the aerobed at my parents house when we go up there. Granted, they are younger, but they never complain about it. I agree with pp about a futon in the den that can double as a couch/sofa. Im sure she will appreciate whatever you have for her.

 

[AshleyW]

I don't recall the OP asking anyone's opinion on her changing her daughter's room into a study..

When I came home from college during holiday breaks, I slept on the couch. I sleep on an air mattress all the time when DFi and I go camping, and I love it. If you get a nice thick mattress topper for it, she should be fine.

 

[disykat]

Not sure anyone here has mentioned marriage?

.

Jodifla said she wouldn't expect a parent to convert a room until their child was married - and several people agreed with her.

I think size of the house is probably key in this "argument." Several people have admitted those rooms weren't "needed" so it's easy to say they wouldn't redo. Everyone that I know that has redone within a few years of their kids left home did so because of space. Leaving an empty room while others are squished is just not realistic. It doesn't mean you don't welcome the child when they do come to visit.

 

[Inigo]

I am in the process of building a queen Murphy Bed for DD's house. She purchased the plans and I purchased the wood yesterday. I just finished cutting the wood about 1/2 hour ago.

I have always wanted a Murphy Bed! I will have one someday.

My kids are both in college, but come home regularly. When they move out to their own places, they'll probably take their current bedroom furniture with them, which will open their rooms up to re-purposing. We bought their current furniture with their future needs in mind, hoping the furniture would help them when they get on their own. The rest of their apartments might be furnished haphazardly, but at least they will have bedroom furniture.

 

[clovergirl5]

I have always wanted a Murphy Bed! I will have one someday.

My kids are both in college, but come home regularly. When they move out to their own places, they'll probably take their current bedroom furniture with them, which will open their rooms up to re-purposing. We bought their current furniture with their future needs in mind, hoping the furniture would help them when they get on their own. The rest of their apartments might be furnished haphazardly, but at least they will have bedroom furniture.

Thats what we did too. The kids are young now, college is way off but, we bought them each their bedroom sets for their rooms intending for them to take them with them when they move out on their own.

 

[3boymthr]

Airbeds can be really comfortable, but there are several problems with them:

1. After a couple of hours the air in the mattress is the same temperature as the air in the room so if the room temperature is 60 degrees you are sleeping on something that is 60 degress - brrrr!
2. The air can compress or expand over time depending upon the temperature of the air in the room - air is cold then the mattress gets soft - air gets hot then the mattress gets harder
3. After several years they can develop a leak and after a few hours sleep you'll discover yourself sleeping on a hard floor
4. People with back problems will often still have problems with the airmattress as it provides no real support - it conforms to your body.
5. When stored for more than a month or two they can get moldy or get dry rot - depending upon the weather conditions (humidity/aridness). We've had both things happen.

With those things in mind I recommend getting either a futon, day bed or if there is not space in the room for either of those a really good cot. We camp all the time and switched to the cots. They pack up just about as compactly as an air mattress and last much much longer and can be had for about the same money. We bought a deluxe Coleman cot which had a three in mattress with a folded size of 3'x3'x5" for $45 and it has lasted for 8 years and still has lots of life left in it.

 

[Planogirl]

I used to make a pallet with sleeping bags and quilts at my mother's house. I was comfortable but had no back troubles.

She certainly didn't have to keep a room ready for me. She had my Dad with his weird hours, my brother, my grandmother and several pets so I just found a quiet place to make up a bed!

 

[C.Ann]

I would look into a day bed or sofa bed if there's enough room.. Also, you might get lucky and find something like what I have at the lake - it's a small loveseat that opens up into a single bed.. Some furniture stores also sell chairs that open into a single bed, but they're pretty pricey.. The loveseat is the perfect size for my very small place up there..

 

[sandramaac]

Wow - If I were the daughter, I would be feeling a little "pushed out of my home."

Even now, (and my sisters and I are in our 40's) there is a place to stay at my parent's house. They moved to a different house about 10 years ago, but they built it so the upstairs can easily accommodate 1 family - a bedroom/bathroom for grandkids, and a bedroom/bathroom for the kids.

I kinda agree. It sounds like a banning from the household, rather than going off to college. Did you change the locks too??

While I want my kids to be independant, the college years should be a time when they can test their wings, and yet still have a home and a place/space of their own to come back to. Now after college, that is another story. Expectations change a bit, and I want them to go out on thier own and find a place that is theirs. But home will alwas be home, and there will always be a place for them.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I agree with C. Ann's idea of a loveseat or oversized chair that pulls out into a bed. The mattresses for those aren't always the most comfortable so I would also have a featherbed or eggcrate to put on top. They can also look nice in the study and be a nice, comfortable spot to sit and read.

I don't see the point in leaving a room empty and unused for someone who is off living their own life (as they should) and only coming home for visits here and there. After college they should be living independently anyway, not returning home to mommy and daddy.

 

[RadioNate]

An air mattress has got to be more comfortable than the couch cushions on the floor.