My Child invited on a Family trip , who pays for what?

[Luv Bunnies]

My DS was invited on a trip to Disneyland with his best friend's family about three years ago. They were driving down so there was no airfare. The family members had season passes, so they only asked that DS provide his own 3-day parkhopper. They were staying at a decent hotel and had reservations for several group meals at the parks. They didn't ask for any money, but I gave the mom $300 before they left. I figured that would cover a portion of the hotel, gas and the meals they paid for. She seemed appreciative, although she never directly asked for any money. I also gave DS some money to pay for meals and whatever else he wanted to buy.

 

[tzolkin]

If your child is going to be responsible for paying for their own food, I don't see how you would know how much to send. That's hard enough for most adults to budget and you don't know where they will be eating. They could go somewhere expensive and most of your child's food/spending money could be gone in one meal.

Whether it's a small-spend or a large-spend, if you invite, you pay. If you can't afford to pay, don't invite.

While I understand where you're coming from, I can imagine scenarios where this rule would not be absolute.

Perhaps I have tons of money, but am unable to fly/travel long distances. If a friend or relative with more limited financial means was traveling and able to give my child the opportunity to visit somewhere that I could not bring them, I would see nothing "wrong" with them offering to take my child even though they could not afford to pay for it.

Or perhaps I have a very busy schedule and limited time off work, but my retired parents would love to take my children places with them. I would have no issue with paying.

I think the mentality of "you invite, you must pay" leads to many people just not inviting people anywhere and many missed opportunities. I know many people who don't invite anyone over to their homes because they can't afford to cover the cost of the food and drinks. I would rather split a pizza and bring beer for everyone than not hang out at all. I also know many moms who have loads of time and enjoy taking kids out to do things, but they don't ask because they don't have enough money to pay for the extra people. I think many parents who are busy would be thrilled to pay a few bucks for someone to take their kids out to do something fun rather than having them sit at home all summer doing nothing.

 

[mom2rtk]

Who pays for what? Each party pays for what they agreed to. There is no rule. It stinks that the other party changed their minds on what they needed, but that doesn't mean it's always the responsibility of the inviter to pay the whole way or even a certain portion of the total.

 

[amberpi]

I grew up going on trips with my cousin. My folks would give me plenty of spending money but I don’t think my uncle ever let me spend it. My dad was the same when we brought the same cousin. Even souvenirs (which were never egregious) were covered. Our kids are too small yet to invite friends but we will and we’ll cover all of it. I can’t imagine buying wands at ollivanders and making a little kid pay for his, or the chocolate frog or the pic as Spider-Man or the pick a pearl. I’m not going to fuss over a few hundred bucks. Ya know?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I grew up going on trips with my cousin. My folks would give me plenty of spending money but I don’t think my uncle ever let me spend it. My dad was the same when we brought the same cousin. Even souvenirs (which were never egregious) were covered. Our kids are too small yet to invite friends but we will and we’ll cover all of it. I can’t imagine buying wands at ollivanders and making a little kid pay for his, or the chocolate frog or the pic as Spider-Man or the pick a pearl. I’m not going to fuss over a few hundred bucks. Ya know?

I don't think fussing over it is what happens typically speaking. Truly affordability is a real thing and not everyone can afford things A hundred bucks to my mom (talking after the divorce and all when I was 6) when I was growing up was a crap-ton of money. And if that was simply just souvenir money no way would my mom have been able to give me that much. I just wouldn't be buying that much souvenirs is all (which I would have been ok with).

Also I do think some things are age dependent. Your kids are quite young now. People may feel differently if a 13 year old is coming along or a 16 year old is coming along vs a 6 or 7 year old to just use an example.

As for your example I count family members as different than your child's friends.

 

[Magical2017]

I was an only child and we often took my best friend with us on road trips, starting in middle school. My mom usually paid for everything but she brought her own spending money. Trips with friends were usually a beach destination at a moderately priced hotel, not Disney, a cruise, or Europe. For pricier destinations, I would expect the family of the guest to pay at least their own airfare unless otherwise stated.