Mom in hospice...said my final goodbye..update post 65...shes in Heaven now :(

[hlane]

I'm not sure why I am posting this...I guess I just need to get it out, I am hurting so much.

My Mom has been fighting breast cancer & angiosarcoma for over 12 years now. She was diagnosed when I was 19 years old. Shes fought so hard for her life....I've never seen such a strong person.
She was readmitted to an inpt hospice facility yesterday. Last night about 6:30pm my Dad called for us to come see her & say our goodbyes. She was the most coherent she has been in weeks, maybe months. I got to spend some time alone with her as well.
She said shes tired & doesn't want to hurt anymore, she's ready to go home & see her mom. She said my grandma has been talking to her & they are waiting on her to join them in Heaven.
I told her I understood, shes fought a long, hard battle and it was ok for her to go, I would keep the family together & we would all take care of our Dad.
Once we all said our goodbyes they came in and sedated her, at her request she will remain that way, asleep, until she goes.
They said it was between God & the patient how long that will take but no more that a couple days at most. I left at midnight last night she was sleeping peacefully and still breathing.
I know this isn't the end, that we'll all be together again one day but I am going to miss her terribly until that day comes.
Its so strange, part of me is a basket case but the other part of me feels like I'm on a mission, in the zone, doing what I need to do to get me & the rest of my family through this.
I'm scared to lose her but I don't want to be selfish...if she's at peace with going I am letting her go

 

[clovergirl5]

Im so sorry. May the lord be with you at this sad time. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm so very sorry to hear this, but it's good that you have a peaceful acceptance..

The days and weeks ahead will be tough, so please take care of yourself and take the time to grieve in whatever manner is best for you..

 

[Nette]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I went through the same thing last weekend, and my father passed on Tuesday morning. PM if you need to talk.

 

[chisnpeke]

I'm so very sorry.

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm tearing up just reading what you are going through.

On one hand I'm so glad you were able to spend some time with your Mom, and that she was coherant so you could talk with her. But on the other hand, I'm sure it was so very hard on you, and her as well.

I'm glad you have family to help you get through this, and you will. It will be hard (I lost my Dad almost 2 years ago - Alzheimer's) but hold on to the memories. That is the best part.

 

[disneyfanforever]

Your mom sounds like an incredible lady. I am so sorry.

 

[disneygals]

there are no words...

 

[Kit'smommy]

I am very sorry. Your family with be in my thoughts and prayers...

 

[Robinrs]

I only wish I didn't know your pain but I do... all too well.

Hugs to you, honey.

 

[Briarmom]

I know what you are going through, and I am so very sorry.

 

[luvmy2sams]

 

[DebbieB]

I'm so sorry. I lost my mom to breast cancer 4 years ago. She died at home and unfortunately we didn't have that "goodbye moment" while she was still coherant and I still regret it.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. My experience was like yours, we were in kind of a "zone" during the funeral and were able to get through it. But afterwards is when it really hits you hard. The memories of the end fade and then you really start missing the person they were during the good times.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm so sorry, my thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[Lovely2CU]

I'm so sorry, both my parents are gone so I know how difficult and heartbreaking this time is for you.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Very sorry to read this, hlane. Yours and mom's beliefs will carry you through these tough days. God bless, God speed. Prayers are with you and your family.

And also with you, Nette.

 

[Disneylover79]

 

[JerseyJanice]

 

[Kitty 34]

I am so sorry.

She sounds like a wonderful person.

 

[RitaZ.]

I know what you're going through right now. It's extremely painful to see your loved one, especially your mom, go through so much pain and agony. There is some relief in knowing that their pain is about to cease. It may sound strange to some, but it's what I experienced when my dad was near death.

Stay strong.