Master's degree...am I wrong to be put out?

[graygables]

I graduated this past September with my Master's. I'm the first person in my family to have one and I have accomplished quite a bit in the last 2 years. I sent out announcements in early October. My parents sent me a card/gift and a family I have known since childhood gave me a card/gift card when they were visiting recently. Other than that, I haven't heard a peep from anyone else. Not my brothers, not my aunt, not my grandmothers, not any of the rest of the family friends. I certainly was not expecting gifts, but I guess I was at least expecting a card or email or something. I do know they got the announcements b/c my mother told me there were comments about how nice they were (I made them). I'm trying not to be upset, but it hurts that I worked so hard and no one bothered to acknowledge it.

I'm in the process of sending Christmas cards and it prompted the memory of the last time I used my address book for a mass mailing.

 

[redlight]

I'd be more than a little put out too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Congrats on your hard work!


That being said, I am not a card sender. I guess if I chatted with you all the time via email I would send you a congratulatory email.

Are you chatty in person or in cyberspace with the people you sent out the announcements with?

 

[autumnpalm]

If I completed grad school without my siblings or family saying something, it would upset me. Congratulations, that is a wonderful accomplishment! If you don't mind me asking, what is your Master's in?

Edit: Hannathy makes a good point. Our family is big on celebrating things like graduations, so it would be very unusual for one to go unnoticed. How are graduations generally treated in your family? If people generally make a big deal then I would be hurt it really does depend on the family!

 

[Hannathy]

Graduations aren't that big of a deal in our family. I know we didn't get or send anything to my sister, BIL,SIL, when they got their Masters. We didn't send anything when my nephew graduated, or his wife graduated Law school, or when my other BIL graduated from college.

Now High School I will send a card and something cause they are kids, but Adults I don't do anything for and no one ever did anything for my DH or I when we got our degrees.

Since you are an adult they probably just think it is great but doesn't need a card or gift.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I view that as a personal accomplishment, not something that I need to send something for.

 

[emma'smom]

When I finished my doctorate, I debated "announcing" it....I did write it into a Christmas letter after the fact. My parents and my DH and dd's attended my graduation ceremony and my mom bought an engraved frame for my diploma. Other than that, one aunt sent me a card......

Did it bother me? Not really....I guess I feel like the one's who "earned it with me" (my DH and dd's) knew what an accomplishment it was and that was enough for me.


Take yourself out for dinner to celebrate!

 

[graygables]

If I completed grad school without my siblings or family saying something, it would upset me. Congratulations, that is a wonderful accomplishment! If you don't mind me asking, what is your Master's in?

Edit: Hannathy makes a good point. Our family is big on celebrating things like graduations, so it would be very unusual for one to go unnoticed. How are graduations generally treated in your family? If people generally make a big deal then I would be hurt it really does depend on the family!

Thanks for the congratulations, I'm glad there are people out there who do understand. My master's is in Management/Human Resources. I went back to school for the sole purpose of qualifying for the WDW College Program and Professional Internships, both of which I completed and that transitioned into a management role at WDW. I celebrate my 2nd year (but only my 1st anniversary as school programs don't count) on January 10th. I worked REALLY HARD, working 50-60 hours per week while homeschooling 2 kids and grad school full-time, so some kind of nod from the fam would have been nice.

We are card senders, so that's why I'm so surprised. Not so much gifts, but definitely cards. My grandmothers are what really surprised/hurt me the most. I'm also a scrapbooker and had hoped to have some cards to add to the memories, but I guess I won't bother. I live 1,000 miles away from everyone and opted not to walk as I was online and didn't know anyone at my campus. I decided to take DDs to MNSSHP instead and wore my regalia as my costume. It was great fun and the perfect ending to my college career, I'd have just appreciated a little atta-girl from the people who are supposed to care about me the most.

 

[Hillbeans]

Congrats on your accomplishment! When DH got his Masters Degree I threw a party and yes, i'd be put out if my siblings never congratulated me. While it's not quite in the same category as Births and Weddings, it still deserves some sort of recognition.

It's funny - I married into a family of non-card senders and i've learned over the years not to expect one and it still feels weird sometimes.

 

[luvmy3]

Congrats, but I didn't know people actually sent out an announcement that they graduated with their Master's Degree. I have been with dh thorugh his Master's and his PhD, he never announced it, but family was aware and congratulated him (no gifts). I have also had a number of family and friends with Master Degree's or higher who never officially announced it. I'm sorry, I just find that odd

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm thinking folks do not revere a masters as they would a high school or colleg graduation. Almost like you are talking about a promotion.

When my husband got his masters, he was very excited as it had taken several years, one class at a time.

He sent out a few announcements and well...his father informed him that it was inappropriate. We were very confused. Well, his father's reasoning is that folks commonly send a check as a congratulations and since hemwas older and had already done bachelor's announcements, his masters announcement should not have been sent.


Well, I don't know what etiquette is, but I do believe my husband felt a bit ashamed about it even though he played off his father's words.

Congratulations, btw!

 

[ajk912]

I guess everyone's different. I am an older college student going back to school and I doubt I will even walk in the ceremony. That's not why I am there. I am doing this for my own immediate family and I am not overly concerned about anyone's opinion/thoughts besides those who live under this roof.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I meant to also say that my husband wasn't expecting anything and was upset about the notion that folks would think he expected money when all he was doing was sharing his accomplishment.

 

[autumnpalm]

Thanks for the congratulations, I'm glad there are people out there who do understand. My master's is in Management/Human Resources. I went back to school for the sole purpose of qualifying for the WDW College Program and Professional Internships, both of which I completed and that transitioned into a management role at WDW. I celebrate my 2nd year (but only my 1st anniversary as school programs don't count) on January 10th. I worked REALLY HARD, working 50-60 hours per week while homeschooling 2 kids and grad school full-time, so some kind of nod from the fam would have been nice.

We are card senders, so that's why I'm so surprised. Not so much gifts, but definitely cards. My grandmothers are what really surprised/hurt me the most. I'm also a scrapbooker and had hoped to have some cards to add to the memories, but I guess I won't bother. I live 1,000 miles away from everyone and opted not to walk as I was online and didn't know anyone at my campus. I decided to take DDs to MNSSHP instead and wore my regalia as my costume. It was great fun and the perfect ending to my college career, I'd have just appreciated a little atta-girl from the people who are supposed to care about me the most.

I'm glad you found a fun way to celebrate on your own with your immediate family. What a great idea! Although it would be nice to get some congratulations from extended family, it sounds like you were able to celebrate with those most important to you. Enjoy that job at WDW!

 

[pearlieq]

I would also view it as a personal accomplishment. It would never occur to me, especially as an established adult, to send out announcements or expect a fuss from the extended family. That stuff is for the kids.

Did you send a card when your aunt got promoted after years of hard work? Did you send a card when your BIL lost 50 pounds? When grandpa made 20 years sober? When your sister's business stayed open for 2 years? These are all big accomplishments for adults that they work on for a long time, but they're celebrated with immediate family and very close friends.

Good on you for finishing your degree, but I think you need to adjust your expectations.

 

[can84]

I graduated this past September with my Master's. I'm the first person in my family to have one and I have accomplished quite a bit in the last 2 years. I sent out announcements in early October. My parents sent me a card/gift and a family I have known since childhood gave me a card/gift card when they were visiting recently. Other than that, I haven't heard a peep from anyone else. Not my brothers, not my aunt, not my grandmothers, not any of the rest of the family friends. I certainly was not expecting gifts, but I guess I was at least expecting a card or email or something. I do know they got the announcements b/c my mother told me there were comments about how nice they were (I made them). I'm trying not to be upset, but it hurts that I worked so hard and no one bothered to acknowledge it.

I'm in the process of sending Christmas cards and it prompted the memory of the last time I used my address book for a mass mailing.

I finished my MSLIS this year, and all I got was a "congratulations, did you get a job yet" from my family I was really shocked and hurt that I didn't get so much as a card from anyone too.

Well, from one recent grad to another--congratulations, and well done!

 

[Aimeedyan]

When I finished, I didn't send our announcements or anything. My (extended) family knew, but mainly because I had a job offer upon completion and we moved.

I don't think of advanced degrees as something to send out announcements and have parties for. That's mainly for high school and some college graduates, I think. Just for my family/set of friends.

(I didn't even walk for my masters degree - I don't know many who do)

 

[december]

I guess I wouldn't know what to do if I got that announcement, other than say congratulations when I saw you. I completed my masters in school counseling in May, and didn't walk, and didn't even think about sending out cards. I've never received one for that situation either. I don't even remember doing it when I got my BS degree back in 1995. It was, and still is, the norm for high school graduations here, but not for college.

 

[cm8]

I graduated this past September with my Master's. I'm the first person in my family to have one and I have accomplished quite a bit in the last 2 years. I sent out announcements in early October. My parents sent me a card/gift and a family I have known since childhood gave me a card/gift card when they were visiting recently. Other than that, I haven't heard a peep from anyone else. Not my brothers, not my aunt, not my grandmothers, not any of the rest of the family friends. I certainly was not expecting gifts, but I guess I was at least expecting a card or email or something. I do know they got the announcements b/c my mother told me there were comments about how nice they were (I made them). I'm trying not to be upset, but it hurts that I worked so hard and no one bothered to acknowledge it.

I'm in the process of sending Christmas cards and it prompted the memory of the last time I used my address book for a mass mailing.

Congratulations on all your achievements. I'm feeling a little put out since we're your DIS(functional) Family and we didn't get one . Let it go. If you feel compelled to send them cards, do so, if you think you shouldn't then don't. Let it go and have a wonderful time sending out your cards

 

[kirstenb1]

I'm thinking folks do not revere a masters as they would a high school or colleg graduation. Almost like you are talking about a promotion.

When my husband got his masters, he was very excited as it had taken several years, one class at a time.

He sent out a few announcements and well...his father informed him that it was inappropriate. We were very confused. Well, his father's reasoning is that folks commonly send a check as a congratulations and since hemwas older and had already done bachelor's announcements, his masters announcement should not have been sent.


Well, I don't know what etiquette is, but I do believe my husband felt a bit ashamed about it even though he played off his father's words.

Congratulations, btw!

You've described my feelings very well when you said it was "like a promotion". My sister went back for her MBA, and SIL went back for a Masters in OT. Neither sent announcements. I congratulated them in person the next time I saw them. I guess I view it like "professional development" I have a BA in History, and sometimes think about going back to school to teach. I'd need an MA in Education. DH and DD's would probably celebrate with me, but I'd just be doing what needed doing to pursue a career path.

OP, you should be proud of your accomplishment. But try not to judge people who don't congratulate you. I can't explain why, but it does seem different than graduating HS or college with a Bachelors.