Media giant Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. is quietly preparing for the possibility that CEO Martha Stewart will be found guilty of securities fraud. Obviously, were hoping that Martha gets off with a slap on the wrist from a Republican-appointed judge, said company spokesperson Miranda Livingston. It would be great if she gets sent to a Club Fed with clay tennis courts, a sous chef, and a sophisticated investment club. She could do a series of articles and live feeds on the government spa program. But with all of this prejudice against company officials who cheat millions of people out of their life savings, were concerned that some bleeding-heart liberal judge might throw the book at her.
If Ms. Stewart is sentenced to do hard time in Gotti-Gambino Land, her company will be ready to reflect her new interests. The most noticeable changes will come in the magazine division. Martha Stewart Living will become Martha Stewart Life without Parole and will feature articles on innovative and stylish ways to decorate small spaces.
Even if youre working with a room as small as 8X10, theres still lots you can do, said Ms. Livingston. Martha has all sorts of ideas on how to soften the look of cinderblock, maximize the effectiveness of a single ceiling light bulb, and make the view of the tiers an interesting focal point. Bunk beds in the boudoir go back to colonial days, so shes thinking traditional there. Of course, a lady likes to have a separate powder room, but if you have to do without, you can give still use fabric and something kicky, like calendar art, to define the corner with the can. The revamped publication will include a new section on making your own tools out of everyday objects and articles such as The Let Down of Lockdown, Restoring Sheng Fui After the Screws Toss Your Cell, and Is the Orange Jumpsuit the New Basic Black?
Changes will also be evident in Martha Stewart Everyday Food, which will become Martha Stewart The Same Food Everyday. Recipes will include dishes such as New Fish Soufflé and numerous ways to cook chipped beef. The magazine will also include tips on how to be creative in arranging a place setting consisting of a tin plate and cup, a plastic spoon, and a paper napkin.
Martha Stewart Weddings will retain its name, but change its focus to same-sex nuptials of life partners behind bars. In addition to the usual pieces about decorating the prison chapel with style and verve, the magazine will focus on the problems facing couples in stir, such as dealing with separate parole dates, separation anxiety when your mate gets sent to D-block for shanking a guard, and feelings of jealousy when your life partner is subjected to a full body cavity search during shakedown.
All of the publications will continue the strong emphasis on style that has always been Marthas trademark, said Ms. Livingston. We really dont see any of this as much of a change. After all, Martha will still be living in a big house in a gated community.
If Ms. Stewart is sentenced to do hard time in Gotti-Gambino Land, her company will be ready to reflect her new interests. The most noticeable changes will come in the magazine division. Martha Stewart Living will become Martha Stewart Life without Parole and will feature articles on innovative and stylish ways to decorate small spaces.
Even if youre working with a room as small as 8X10, theres still lots you can do, said Ms. Livingston. Martha has all sorts of ideas on how to soften the look of cinderblock, maximize the effectiveness of a single ceiling light bulb, and make the view of the tiers an interesting focal point. Bunk beds in the boudoir go back to colonial days, so shes thinking traditional there. Of course, a lady likes to have a separate powder room, but if you have to do without, you can give still use fabric and something kicky, like calendar art, to define the corner with the can. The revamped publication will include a new section on making your own tools out of everyday objects and articles such as The Let Down of Lockdown, Restoring Sheng Fui After the Screws Toss Your Cell, and Is the Orange Jumpsuit the New Basic Black?
Changes will also be evident in Martha Stewart Everyday Food, which will become Martha Stewart The Same Food Everyday. Recipes will include dishes such as New Fish Soufflé and numerous ways to cook chipped beef. The magazine will also include tips on how to be creative in arranging a place setting consisting of a tin plate and cup, a plastic spoon, and a paper napkin.
Martha Stewart Weddings will retain its name, but change its focus to same-sex nuptials of life partners behind bars. In addition to the usual pieces about decorating the prison chapel with style and verve, the magazine will focus on the problems facing couples in stir, such as dealing with separate parole dates, separation anxiety when your mate gets sent to D-block for shanking a guard, and feelings of jealousy when your life partner is subjected to a full body cavity search during shakedown.
All of the publications will continue the strong emphasis on style that has always been Marthas trademark, said Ms. Livingston. We really dont see any of this as much of a change. After all, Martha will still be living in a big house in a gated community.
