Married friends but no longer in love

[questioner]

So many married couples I know no longer LOVE each other. Any passion and love they once had is gone. Though they stay married and are good friends. Many get along just great and are good mothers, fathers and providers.

Other couples I know are deeply in love but really do not like each other. They are lovers but are not friends. Sex is great but conversation is not.

Ideally a couple would be great lovers and friends. But is it advisable to have a marriage when the love is gone but the friendship remains?

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Have you EVER posted anything about Disney?

 

[WDWHound]

Have you EVER posted anything about Disney?

Why would he do that? Its not like this is a Disney board or anything...oh, wait, yes it is.

Never mind

 

[momof3disneyholics]

I'm just curious why someone would come here to a Disney Board and never ask a single question about Disney? It just doesn't make any sense. What's the appeal to be here then?

 

[Mouseteacher]

This is a community board and, I guess, you can post all things not just Disney. JMHO

 

[questioner]

From the OP:

98% of the postings on this board have nothing to do with Disney. Disney just supports the board. And with a few exceptions the posters are quite interested in writing about other great topics.

Now back to my question.

 

[Duckfan]

Interesting question but I think that depends on the couple more than the world in general. What makes it great friendship vs love?

 

[Mouseteacher]

Answer to question: it works if both in the marriage are agreeable to the circumstances and accept the way things are. Each marriage is unique unto the couple in it. There is no set formula for a success, IMHO.

 

[Patty3]

All marriages have their peaks and valleys. It is something that you work on every day. You do not leave a marriage because the passion is gone, you work on getting it back. Marriage is a solemn sacred vow in my book and one that I do not take lightly.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

I understand the community board thing, heck I post hardly anything about Disney on this board, but Disney is what most people are drawn to when they join this forum. They start out somewhere on the trip planning forums, then migrate over to the community board. Most people don't start out asking questions on the community board. I just have a hard time understanding why someone would join this forum and Never say a word about Disney.

 

[Kitty 34]

I'd say it's up to the couple. What works for them.

 

[Twinkles6892]

From the OP:

98% of the postings on this board have nothing to do with Disney. Disney just supports the board. And with a few exceptions the posters are quite interested in writing about other great topics.

Now back to my question.

Disney doesn't like the DISboards, ya know. They save people money. The DIS is no way endorsed by them.

 

[disneymom3]

From the OP:

98% of the postings on this board have nothing to do with Disney. Disney just supports the board. And with a few exceptions the posters are quite interested in writing about other great topics.

Now back to my question.

Umm, just to set the record straight, Disney doesn't support this board at all. It is completely independent of Disney. And I think the vast majority of us also post on the other boards that are related to the DIS so that is why it is odd that you never post any Disney stuff.

Now, back to my answer. Love is a choice. If you choose to act toward someone in a loving manner, you will feel loving toward them. However, if the people are happy together, why should I care?

 

[hugsquared]

I understand the community board thing, heck I post hardly anything about Disney on this board, but Disney is what most people are drawn to when they join this forum. They start out somewhere on the trip planning forums, then migrate over to the community board. Most people don't start out asking questions on the community board. I just have a hard time understanding why someone would join this forum and Never say a word about Disney.

My guess is because he/she has been a member of the Dis Boards for a long time, just under a different name. They either have more than 1 identity, or have been banned under a different name and came back under this one. Just my guess.
I mean, you can be whomever you want to be by making up a name, making up a location and then talk about whatever you wish and no one would be the wiser.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

My answer is that love and passion (sex) are not the same thing. I think many people who have been married for decades will tell you that it is not uncommon for passion to ebb and flow in a marriage. Having great sex with somebody isn't all that hard -- I've just started watching Sex in the City, I just never knew how many people you could have great sex with.


If remaining best friends with your spouse over a long period of time, especially when you share a bathroom, isn't a foundation for a good marriage -- then I don't know what is.

 

[Tracey1974]

Have you EVER posted anything about Disney?

I wonder about that too......

 

[MOMTOCUTESTDOGEVER]

I understand the community board thing, heck I post hardly anything about Disney on this board, but Disney is what most people are drawn to when they join this forum. They start out somewhere on the trip planning forums, then migrate over to the community board. Most people don't start out asking questions on the community board. I just have a hard time understanding why someone would join this forum and Never say a word about Disney.

If it bothers you that much, put him/her on your ignore list. Problem solved.

 

[bettyann29]

Just wondering why anyone cares that OP doesnt post about Disney.. Most of the posts on the community board have nothing to do with Disney.. Maybe op reads the info on disney from others posts and chooses to post about other topics.. who cares..

 

[DVC Jen]

I totally agree that marriages go through highs and lows.. some tremendous highs and really low lows.

DH and I have been married for nearly 19 years. We have had some awesomely close years and some when we wondered if we would make it another week let alone another year. The thing that got us through was the fact that we always loved each other. We have also hated each other.. but the love was still there.

I think that as long as two people are friends and remain respectful chances are there is a deep strong love that is just not that "in your face" love of a relationships early years.

This deep strong love is what keeps people together for 30, 40, 50+ years.