Married Folks: Pooled or Separate Finances?

[Minnesota!]

It's all in one big pot, and I handle all the finances. Even our CC's are joint. I handle our finances, from bill paying to tax returns to 401k investments. DH doesn't want to be bothered with it, and I'd rather have the "control" anyway so it all works out quite nicely.

This is us exactly.

All our checks are deposited into our checking. I pay the bills, then transfer the money we save each month into savings.

We run purchases over $20 by each other, and he is knowledgable about investments so when times come to shake up my 401, stocks, etc...I ask him for advice..

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

We are one, so we have one pool of resources to draw from.

 

[JVL1018]

We've always had joint accounts.
Which is good for me, as I didn't have a job for 10 years when I stayed home with my kids.
I work verrrry part time now and I keep all that money as my own spending money, but I would take at least that much out of our joint account for spending anyway.
As for splurges, my husband is not my dad, he can't ground me or take my car away. I am 39- I can't get in trouble, so I would never hide something like that. Not that I would buy $400 shoes..

 

[ols386]

We pool our money together, but I'm the one who basically controls it. DH is fine with it being that way because he really doesn't want to mess with it and have to be the one responsible for taking care of paying all of the bills.

 

[njmom47]

We have completely separate accounts except for savings. We both were established adults when we met and just never felt the need to join our finances. Besides, I don't really understand his way of "balancing his checkbook." He pays the mortgage, insurance, utilities and his credit cards (a couple of months to go in debt mgmt); I pay for groceries, anything for the kids including clothing, drs, school stuff, HOA fees, and my credit card debt. We each have our own 401k, and I have a small savings account through the credit union at my job. We usually deposit our tax refund into our savings account which dwindles as the year goes on. As long as we have food and the mortgage and utilities are paid, I'm ok with things the way they are.

 

[bellebud]

everything is together.

But I can a couple that married a little later when they were both more established financially keeping some things separate.

 

[Principessa1284]

Big pool in our credit union account. I also have a seperate checking account, but we only use that to have the $ for our rent and car payment directly deposited into so we can't accidentally spend it. I do all the accounting, only because DH didn't seem to think silly things like paying bills on time was important. You should have seen all the fees he racked up before we met and didn't even know it! I suppose I could buy $400 shoes and he wouldn't notice, but I'd feel guilty because not telling him because it would take away from our other expenses and we, ya know, wouldn't be able to buy groceries that month. When either of us wants to make a non-crucial purchase over, say, $50, we always check with each other to see if it's cool. Sometimes I'll have to tell him he may want to wait until next week/month to get that new computer doohickey, but we can usually work it out so everyone is happy.

 

[Reddy]

We had one account - it drove me nuts because I felt like everything I bought, I had to explain why I got it. he would say I didn't but looked over the reciepts (he loves to read everything so it was just something new to read to him)
I have a part-time job & just cash my checks - then I don't have to explain anything since he doesn't have to see them

 

[LoraJ]

One joint checking, one joint savings and then we each have our own checking and savings.

 

[Barbossa]

One big pot belonging to my DW. Just kidding. Non-retirement funds are all in joint accounts. I have 401Ks and SEP retirement funds in my name, my DW is the primary beneficiary (I'm worth more dead than alive). I take care of all the finances, I'm a Quicken junkie and I have a record of almost every dime we've spent in the last 12 years. I also do our taxes. My DW is grateful that I'm good for something besides hot sex.

 

[bumbershoot]

If you don't mind my asking, Why?
This is not snark, just genuinely wondering? We keep both names on all accounts, we both have a credit history. What am I missing by not having a personal account? (I freely admit my money management skills were learned on the job so to speak, so I may be missing the obvious here.)

I think the idea is that if someone leaves or dies, you're not stuck in a difficult mess. Also, it supposedly goes towards your credit-getting ability? Also, in case of divorce or death.

Since I haven't worked in over 15 years, one fund (or series of funds). As for $400 shoes, I pay the bills, and DH would never have any idea that I spent $400 on shoes. However, I'd know if he did, but he hates to spend money, so it would never be an issue. And I wouldn't spend $400 on shoes unless I knew we had the money for them (and honestly, I'd never spend $400 on shoes).

That's pretty much what our situation, only fewer years without working outside the home.

 

[tvguy]

1 shared checking account.
1 shared savings account.
1 shared credit card.
IRAs and 401k's are seperate, only because I know of no legal way for spouses to be joint owners.

Been that way for 29 years, we have no secrets except at Christmas time.

 

[ICF]

1 shared checking account.
1 shared savings account.
1 shared credit card.
IRAs and 401k's are seperate, only because I know of no legal way for spouses to be joint owners.

Been that way for 29 years, we have no secrets except at Christmas time.

Same here.....except we've only been at it for 15 years.

 

[Kitzka]

When we first got married, we were both working and kep seperate accounts. We didn't worry about who paid what and everything had to be 50/50, though. We just made sure all bills were paid. If we went out to eat or do somethign fun, we both took money and again, neither of us worried about who paid for what portion of the "date."

After DS came along, I became a SAHM. DH put me on his account, but told me not to close out my account. We use the joint account for everything, but I occassionally put an extra $20 in my personal account just to make sure it stays active. DH has a seperate savings account for his HAM radio hobby. He puts a little in here and there and gets new toys as it builds up. While we have the seperate accounts, however, if we do run short, one of us will pull some money to put towards what is needed.

This is what we do except we both work. We also automatically put $50 into our accts per pay check for 'going out with friends'

Lara

 

[Handbag Lady]

Different everything and we don't have access to each other's accounts.

We married in our 30's and I had no intentions of changing my ways. His first wife wasn't great with money, so he also wanted to keep his own accounts.

It works really great. We make the same amount of money and we split the bills by category. I write him one check a month for half the rent.

I know it sounds silly, but it works so well.

Guess how many times we've had arguments over money?

 

[Colleen27]

Everything is joint here, we're old fashioned that way. The joke is that he makes the money and I spend it, because his involvement with our finances pretty much ends at making the deposits. I'm the one who does the budget, makes sure the bills get paid, does all the shopping, and keeps everything running, and I also run the scheduling/bookeeping/office side of his business just because I'm more organized about it (he's a bit tech-phobic, and keeping software based records is so much easier than wading through a sea of hardcopy paperwork!).

We dicuss any purchases over more than a couple hundred dollars with each other before buying, but I can't think of a time when we've had any significant disagreement about spending. And it has never crossed my mind to buy $400 shoes!