Married Folks: Pooled or Separate Finances?

[dejr_8]

http://lifeinc.todayshow.com/_news/...lywed-dilemma-pool-funds-or-separate-accounts

If you are coupled up, how do you handle your finances? Do you put all your money into one pot and share all your expenses? Do you still keep separate accounts and split expenses down the middle? Or do you use some hybrid system, maybe keeping a personal account on the side so your spouse doesn’t notice when you splurge on a pair of $400 shoes?

 

[mjkacmom]

Since I haven't worked in over 15 years, one fund (or series of funds). As for $400 shoes, I pay the bills, and DH would never have any idea that I spent $400 on shoes. However, I'd know if he did, but he hates to spend money, so it would never be an issue. And I wouldn't spend $400 on shoes unless I knew we had the money for them (and honestly, I'd never spend $400 on shoes).

 

[FINFAN]

pooled..I am actually the kiddie pool while DH is the waterpark of our income.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

We have separate bank accounts, but how we spend is (for the most part) pooled... I do lots and lots of account transferring.
We're this way out of habit, when we married, my DH was paying child support, and his ex had a tendency to be a witch, so we kept separate accounts - at his insistence- so if she ever took him to court for more child support, he planned to show only his accounts. He felt that if my money was apart, our kids would still have the benefit of my income to keep up their lifestyle- sports, vacations, day trips, etc

 

[disneybound2010]

When we first got married, we were both working and kep seperate accounts. We didn't worry about who paid what and everything had to be 50/50, though. We just made sure all bills were paid. If we went out to eat or do somethign fun, we both took money and again, neither of us worried about who paid for what portion of the "date."

After DS came along, I became a SAHM. DH put me on his account, but told me not to close out my account. We use the joint account for everything, but I occassionally put an extra $20 in my personal account just to make sure it stays active. DH has a seperate savings account for his HAM radio hobby. He puts a little in here and there and gets new toys as it builds up. While we have the seperate accounts, however, if we do run short, one of us will pull some money to put towards what is needed.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

One checking account but we each have charge cards that the other spouse technically can use, but doesn't and hasn't set up a user account online to see the charges.

This is for Christmas, birthdays and other special occasions - we can each make our charges without the other person seeing what was bought. It is then paid off at the end of the month.

As for everything else, it's not by plan, but we don't really see all of each other's charges - we each use different reward cards that we pay off weekly. (Mine is Disney, natch.)

 

[lspst8]

I've been married for almost 18 months, and our savings accounts are joint but my DH and I have separate checking accounts where our paychecks are deposited. It's more due to laziness than anything else --- I owned the townhouse we live in before I even met my husband and all the bills are automatically deducted. It just seems like too much hassle to start a new, joint account.

 

[eliza61]

We have pooled house accounts, education and emergency fund. we also have a few joint IRA accounts.
We each have seperate 401K's, seperate credit cards and a seperate savings.

Generally even with personal splurges we tend to talk it over with each other. I think it's more the great feeling on having a second opinion. If I drop 1K on a pocket book, I'll check with dh just to make sure there is not an unexpected bill ready to pop up and when he wanted to buy a luxury car, he asked for my opinion. stuff like that.

 

[simba20]

We have a joint account which is used for bill paying, family life, etc.

And then I have my own account which I use for "fun," butt he balance is always tiny and small due to me being a SAHM for right now.

I have to have a seperate acount, because many years ago, when trying to open a bank account we found that my SSN was in use out in CA. Whatever my SSN is used for, the person has never used it for credit (I check my credit report annually). Anyway, some banks have turned me down for opening accounts. So once I had a bank account opened, I keep it just for that purpose.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I'm in the minority!
My husband and I have different savings and checking accounts. We both, however, have access to each other's accounts. I may have written a check or two in our whole marriage with his checkbook though. I just think it is easier to have and manage our own finances separately.

 

[roscoepc1]

We live paycheck to paycheck....separate funds is a luxury we can't afford.

 

[maslex]

We have separate checking accounts. Three actually. The first one, while it's a joint account, DH has a certain amount directly deposited into it to cover the mortgage and it is an automatic withdrawal each month for the payment.

The second checking account is the primary account that most bills are paid from. DH is the only person who makes any deposits into this account and is the only one who actually uses it (writes checks or debit card usage) All house hold bills, insurances, taxes, his gas for his truck, etc are paid out of this account. The only time I use it (it is a joint account and I do hold a debit card for it) is if he decides that he wants to get take out for dinner. LOL He'll tell me...."I'll buy if you fly"

Then I have a checking account with my name only (I've had this account even before we got together and I've just never closed it) I am the only one who deposits money into it. I use this account for grocery shopping, my loan payment, my gas, the boys school lunches and any spending money (school clothes, Christmas/birthday gifts, take out, etc)

It may sound strange to some on how we manage our accounts but it is what works for us. Matter of fact, out of all our family and friends, I don't believe anyone manages the same way as others do. I believe that everyone does what works for them even if it doesn't seem "normal" to other people.

 

[Becky2005]

Since I haven't worked in over 15 years, one fund (or series of funds). As for $400 shoes, I pay the bills, and DH would never have any idea that I spent $400 on shoes. However, I'd know if he did, but he hates to spend money, so it would never be an issue. And I wouldn't spend $400 on shoes unless I knew we had the money for them (and honestly, I'd never spend $400 on shoes).

That's pretty much how we have worked it but we are also all over the map now with things.

He has a seperate account that he puts his extra stuff in. I would have no idea what money goes OUT of it but I know what goes IN since I'm constantly the one that takes his deposits to the bank. The tellers I think got to recognize my car in the drive-up window.

Then I got very frustrated with our original bank, so I opened up a new account at "his" bank with the concept of changing over fully...problem is I haven't changed everything over so now we have accounts at both of them. His paycheck direct deposited into one bank and mine into the other I still do all the bills though so it doesn't really matter.

 

[indimom]

Joint everything. I am in charge of all the bookkeeping/billpaying for our family and this keeps the job managable.

 

[Acklander]

For the most part we pool the finances, but we each have a discretionary fund so I guess if I wanted to buy $400 shoes he'd never know what I paid for them. We both make around the same amount - some years I'm a bit more, some years he's a bit more and we've both contributed about the same amount of assets to the marriage over the years, so for the most part money is a non issue.

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Not married, but been together for 10 years. We have seperate accounts for pretty much everything (as you should if you're not married, and you should still have some of your own accounts when you are married) except a few investment accounts that we share.

 

[U2_rocks!]

When we first got married 20 years ago we wanted to stick with the banks who knew us and our history, so that loans would be easier etc. So Dh and I each had a bank account at a different bank. We divided the bills up according to what was easier for each of us to pay (back then there was no online bill payment). We tried to make the approx total as fair as possible in comparison to the income that was going into each account so that we both had some "fun/hobby" money.

About 10 - 12 years ago my bank went through some changes and I wasn't as happy as I was with them. The house mortgage was at my bank, and we approached DH's bank to see what they would offer for us to switch. It was worth doing so we switched, and at the same time we decided to stop paying 2 sets of bank fees and just keep all of our money in one place. So now we use the same account and all bills get paid from there. I bring in more salary than DH does, but DH does odd jobs for people (servicing of boats and fishing tackle) to support his more expensive hobby (deep-sea fishing), so it works out. I don't have an expensive hobby, nor do I spend a ton on clothes, shoes and beauty treatments.

 

[SC Minnie]

Ours is a hybrid.

We have a joint account that he manages and I have my personal account. My paycheck is direct deposited into my account then I transfer funds to the joint account to pay the household bills. I don't keep too much money in my personal account-- just enough for Target or grocery trips, etc.

I do have a credit card in my name only that I mainly use for business trips and birthday/Christmas purchases.

 

[bettymae1121]

It's all in one big pot, and I handle all the finances. Even our CC's are joint. I handle our finances, from bill paying to tax returns to 401k investments. DH doesn't want to be bothered with it, and I'd rather have the "control" anyway so it all works out quite nicely.

 

[gillep]

Seperate

we each have seperate checking accounts that our direct deposits go into and we each have our own savings accounts and 401Ks. We have seperate credit cards and we do not have access to the other person's accounts.

We split our bills 60/40 because DH brings in more money than I do. He pays for the mortgage health insurance and cell phone bill along with his discretionary spending I pay for everything else i.e. food, electric, dog expenses, daily household expenses, HOA fees etc. He pays for car insurance but I give him my half each year. We trust the other person 100% and neither one of us ever carries a balance on our cards unless it is an emergency (like needing new tires due to a puncture) and then it is paid off ASAP. We are allowed to spend our own money as we choose but in reality we make our decisions together or the other person is present when the money is spent.

We also have one joint savings account for long term savings goals that we both put money into monthly.