LuvLuvLuv's Memories TR Starts Pg 73 - Honeymoon Day 6.1

[tinkerbell 766]

Deena sweetie - Whilst I am not going to use the word hate, I do think that your MIL is being deliberately difficult and selfish. She really can't seem to see beyond what she wants or how she will look. You would think that she would be grateful that her son has found such a sweet girl for her DIL and be grateful that you guys are happy together, but it appears not!!! Maybe she should work for Disney, as she seems to put a great deal of emphasis on 'the show' .
It is good that you and DF are standing by what you want and not bending to her whims. I know that when the pressure is on, it is sometimes easier just to give in than to fight anymore!!! I am so proud of you both for sticking to your guns on this one!!!

I know, sweetie, that you have had some health issues and need to think about your babies sooner rather than later, but please know that I had my last at 38, so 28 is really not cutting it fine at all. Don't allow your MIL to influence your decisions about children. Your children will be the greatest joy to you, and when you have them to protect, you will find the strength to tell her to butt out, believe me!!!

You stay strong, my sweet girl, we are all rooting for you!!!

 

[CherylLynn]

OH. MY. GOD. I had 3 pages of your PJ to catch up on, so some of my comments may be old lol. And full of explatives.

1- WT* is up w/ David's? Seriously? Those b*tches will do anything to make money. Ugh.

2- I hate banks. My DF has had nothing but trouble with them. SunTrust, Bank of America, you name it. I've been with a local credit union since I was born (my parents opened a savings account for me) and have never in my 31 years had a problem. I hate banks. Another Ugh.

3- I really, really want to give you a big hug right now.

4- Your DF sounds faboo, I like him from your posts and stories of the two of you. But, I really wish he'd not leave it to you to stand up to his mom. That's not your job. He should protect you from her.

5- Your FMIL. What a mean, awful, selfish person. I can't believe someone who's supposed to be her daughter is treated so badly! One more great big UGH!!!

6- If your FBIL (future b*tc* in law- sorry, I had to) insists on you having a get together, what if you made it at the holidays (like a Christmas thingie) and killed 2 birds with one stone? That is, if you're always expected to hang out with them for the holiday. If she must, and therefore you must, at least think of the good gifts you'll get. Miserable for 2 hours with them, but lots of fun presents to open when you get home! Or what if you let her throw you a shower? Co-ed? No silly games or frou-frou, just a small cake, finger foods, presents, etc. She can have her glory and you can get the gifts.

7- Please don't go off on your FBIL. I almost did recently with mine, and after talking with my Dad (always the d*mn voice of reason), DF, & friends I came to the conclusion that it would only make life harder for myself & DF. You don't want to start the marriage off with out and out hatred open and in public (my guess is that no matter how right you are she will run & blab 'her' side of the story to anyone & everyone willing to listen, and you will only look like the bad guy). I in no way mean back down, def stand up for yourself. But just don't let out all the deep, dark feelings you really have. Some things can never be mended, and like it or not, she's your soon to be Hubbie's mom. You're stuck with her til one of you croaks. I hope I don't sound all 'telling you what to do' or anything- I just don't want any more drama for you than you already have. I have a friend who told off a family member of her DH & it has done nothing but bite her in the behind. It felt d*mn good at the time, but in the years following it has only proven to make things worse. I would hate to see a sweet girl like you have to go through any more crap because of that beast. You deserve better, but unfortunately, I don't think she'll ever see that.

8- I want to give you another hug.

9- If you want to have kids, have kids. If you're worried about the FBIL, MOVE TO FLORIDA! You'll be far away from her, and closer to Disney!

10- I'm now going to apologize for my two cents. Sometimes I can't keep my mouth shut. But I can't help it! The crap you go through p*sses me off. So now I'm all riled up writing this. I hope I didn't come off too b*tchy. Or bossy.

11- LOVE the shirts! Sooooo cute!!!

12- I'm going to buy the make-up stuff asap! Thanks for the tip!

13- BEAUTIFUL ring! I think it's gorgeous!

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

[color="teal]

Oh and the Monster In Law reference? Lovved it! Literally LOL'ed!

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I dunno where I come up with that stuff sometimes, lol. Thanks for being available for my dramatics--I appreciate you soooooooo much!!

[quote="tinkerbell 766, post: 42307708"]Deena sweetie - Whilst I am not going to use the word hate, I do think that your MIL is being deliberately difficult and selfish. She really can't seem to see beyond what she wants or how she will look. You would think that she would be grateful that her son has found such a sweet girl for her DIL and be grateful that you guys are happy together, but it appears not!!! May be she should work for Disney as she seems to put a great deal of emphasis on 'the show' .
It is good that you and DF are sticking to what you want and not bending to her whims. I know that when the pressure is on, it is sometimes easier just to give in than to fight anymore!!! I am so proud of you both for sticking to your guns on this one!!!

I know, sweetie, that you have had some health issues and need to think about your babies sooner rather than later, but please know that I had my last at 38, so 28 is really not cutting it fine at all. Don't allow your MIL to influence your decisions about children. Your children will be the greatest joy to you, and when you have them to protect, you will find the strength to tell her to butt our, believe me!!!

You stay strong, my sweet girl, we are all rooting for you!!!

Thanks!! Your words always make me smile, and are always taken to heart! Thanks for standing behind me!!

OH. MY. GOD. I had 3 pages of your PJ to catch up on, so some of my comments may be old lol. And full of explatives.

3- I really, really want to give you a big hug right now.

4- Your DF sounds faboo, I like him from your posts and stories of the two of you. But, I really wish he'd not leave it to you to stand up to his mom. That's not your job. He should protect you from her.

5- Your FMIL. What a mean, awful, selfish person. I can't believe someone who's supposed to be her daughter is treated so badly! One more great big UGH!!!

6- If your FBIL (future b*tc* in law- sorry, I had to) insists on you having a get together, what if you made it at the holidays (like a Christmas thingie) and killed 2 birds with one stone? That is, if you're always expected to hang out with them for the holiday. If she must, and therefore you must, at least think of the good gifts you'll get. Miserable for 2 hours with them, but lots of fun presents to open when you get home! Or what if you let her throw you a shower? Co-ed? No silly games or frou-frou, just a small cake, finger foods, presents, etc. She can have her glory and you can get the gifts.

8- I want to give you another hug.

9- If you want to have kids, have kids. If you're worried about the FBIL, MOVE TO FLORIDA! You'll be far away from her, and closer to Disney!

11- LOVE the shirts! Sooooo cute!!!

13- BEAUTIFUL ring! I think it's gorgeous!

I abbreviated your quote, lol. Thanks for all the tips, advice and such!! I'm hugging you back I think he's going to start doing the dealings with her because he knows I'm pretty much checked out. I told him I don't want it to get ugly and cause life long havoc and that's the way it's heading. He agrees to help more--he's been a doll since my meltdown on Wednesday, lol. I personally wanted a co-ed shower, but whatever--that means she would have to pay for it and that won't happen. There really are no gifts--just people wanting free beer and food--another reason I'm not pushing this. In Kentucky things are much different than how I was raised in PA. People show up to weddings and such in jeans or in cargo shorts, they bring $15-20 and get drunk and sloppy. Where I was raised, we bought a cocktail dress, brought $100+ and had a classy/fun time. Whatevs I would love to move to Florida--we've talked about it several times and need to make the decision if we're going to do that or buy into DVC. I'm making more shirts tonight and tomorrow!! So excited!! My ring should be here on Monday--I hope it's as amazing as it is in the picture--I'm so nervous buying something like that online--deep breaths--it'll be fabulous. Thanks for reading!!

__________________________________________

Flops and Headband have arrived. Flops look fabulous, but havent tried them on yet. Headband was still in packaging and could use some fluffing--but I was too tired to mess with it. Luggage and his ring should be here today. My ring should be here Monday. I ordered him a tuxedo T-shirt for the parks and another Agent P shirt from Amazon today--I felt bad that when I took his 3pr of shorts back, they only had 1 in his size. I felt like he got jipped, lol.

I ordered announcements today--They're from Vistaprint--and they serve the purpose, lol.

2 nights ago I emailed the cake lady a new version of what I want for the cake. I have a pic of my publisher sketch and will add it later with other stuff.

They recieved my LOA Waiting on my copy and the planning pack.

Thinking about making a silk bouquet. The bouquets I'm seeing aren't coming out like the pictures they show you I'm such an OCD flower person the I'm afraid I'll go bridezilla on someone if they look tossed together and cheap. Come on Disney--get it together.

I printed out my packing list and hope to get a few things together this weekend. I have Sunday off and need to get stuff done.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!! Will try to get some pictures up on Sunday!!

 

[BethieTink]

Hey Deena,

Sorry I have been AWOL for so long, but I am all caught up now.

Congrats on getting the Memories wedding you wanted. If it was earlier in the day, I would totally come to the Poly and watch. Excellent choice for a venue. I am sure everything will be lovely. Can't wait to see it all come together.

I am so sorry about your FMIL. It's amazing that she just refuses to understand what you and Dave want in any of this. What a stubborn witch. Sorry you have to deal with her so much.

Hope you have a great weekend! You certainly deserve it!

 

[tinkerbell 766]

Deena sweetie - Are 'Memories' brides allowed to use an outside florist for personal floral, like the brides of the other DFTW packages? If so, that may be an option. I was OCD about my floral too, but I am not a silk flower fan at all, but in the end I was over the moon with my floral. Is it worth looking in to an outside florist for your bouquet?

 

[lilsqueakrr]

Girl, you know I am ALWAYS here for you! =] Exciting that everything is arriving! I wanna see pics once you get them all fluffed and such! haha. What announcements did you order from VistaPrint? I think I'm ordering my Save The Dates today.

Can't wait to see your cake!

And honestly, I would probably do the silk as well. Especially if they've been turning out that crummy. =[ I'd be afraid to chance it on my wedding day.

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

Deena sweetie - Are 'Memories' brides allowed to use an outside florist for personal floral, like the brides of the other DFTW packages? If so, that may be an option. I was OCD about my floral too, but I am not a silk flower fan at all, but in the end I was over the moon with my floral. Is it worth looking in to an outside florist for your bouquet?

Yes, we can use an outside florist! I'm just trying to not add more to the budget and I'm trying to decide if I should settle or just skimp on something else to get flowers. I feel like so much of my package is wasted since I've forfeited the photography to go with Jason--then if I forfeit the flowers.... what did I pay for?? Make sense?? Maybe I will stress to my planner how I expect them to look based upon what I've seen. I'm not big on silks either--but thought if I could make one on the cheap side I could use it as a backup if mine sucked,lol!!

Girl, you know I am ALWAYS here for you! =] Exciting that everything is arriving! I wanna see pics once you get them all fluffed and such! haha. What announcements did you order from VistaPrint? I think I'm ordering my Save The Dates today.

Can't wait to see your cake!

And honestly, I would probably do the silk as well. Especially if they've been turning out that crummy. =[ I'd be afraid to chance it on my wedding day.

I ordered the announcements with the tux and the dress. A little cheesy, but I got 50 announcements, envelopes and labels for $31---so cheesy it is, lol. It's been a crazy weekend. He's still sleeping, and I've already been tanning and took inventory of some travel items (ahem, that are still packed in my suitcase from May ) Yesterday, I talked to my stepmom to go over the FMIL drama and kind of ask for some $$--I never got to the $$ part, lol, but she wants us to go up to PA the Sunday after and have a private dinner with family and family friends. I said that it would have to end by 5 because we have to drive back, we're out of vacation time. Fine, good--she looked into booking. Dave said he wasn't going because his mom couldnt have her party. No. Mom can't have her party because I'm not paying for mom's party. We got into it pretty bad and hung up on each other. He comes into the store later like nothing's wrong and was like... heyyy just came to see you. Bi-polar?? I took him aside, told him how I felt--he agreed to go. I already had my stepmom all upset, lol--I should have just kept my mouth shut--but it's all good.

he came home from work this morning wanting to talk--also after several drinks, lol. he was questioning the first night we hung out. he was wondering if i really wanted him to pursue me, etc.... he knew that after softball for about 3 years i hung out with a particular person on our team and that it was extremely awkward when he stepped in between it that night. holy hell--it just started pouring rain out of no where, lol--scared me half to death, lol. anyway. i told him that i wasn't particularly looking for anyone at the time--but was ready for a new adventure and decided I should give it a shot. he wanted me to explain the other guy--and at 5:00am when I was woken out of a dead sleep I couldn't think of a better analogy than this--forgive me if it's TMI.... well... you know how some ladies play cards on monday nights?? well on tuesday nights after games we'd go to the bar (they sponsored us so we were supposed to go after) then.................... i explained, we didn't talk on the phone during the week--we didn't talk during off seasons--we weren't seeing anyone else at the time and we were in our early 20s and bored. It wasn't going anywhere--didn't look like it was going to go anywhere--so why continue if someone who shows true interest comes along?? Maybe this had been eating at him for a while?? Very strange--but if it was bothering him and he needed an answer, I'm glad it came out now and not after the wedding. I was completely honest--there's no reason not to be. So then he asks if we could all meet up at the bar or something one night and just hang out instead of a reception. He said one of the bartenders suggested that so we get gifts. So his friends confirmed they're giving gifts, lol--winning! Well okay--but I have a better idea---lets do it before as a co-ed shower. I'm in retail hell after thanksgiving and the weekend before we're in PA---plus $$ we could use on our trip. We're supposed to have lunch with FMIL today so I guess we'll run this past her. Maybe I'll come down with Scarlet Fever in the next 2 hours and won't have to go.

Oh!! The cake lady got back to me about my design!! She's only charging me $125 for it!!! I'm so freaking excited that it went down $64 that I could do a backflip!! We also decided against the tea room and went with the GFlo Cafe for space purposes. I could very well be ready to eat my arm off by then and need to eat real food. I will probably eat very little before the wedding since I have a nervous stomach and I will need something delish--like their lemon cheesecake

Cake:

I tried to marblize the fondant balls, but I'm not by any means a pro at this stuff, lol.... you get the idea

I'll try to get more pix tonight or tomorrow of my goods--my wedding band should be here tomorrow and i'm freaking out!! I'm going to try and wake him up--there's stuff to be done. Happy Sunday!

 

[lilsqueakrr]

Sounds like you had an interesting night, lol. Why is it guys have all these crazy questions when they're plastered? Me, I just blurt out unneeded information, haha. Woopsie. ;D Ask me anything when I'm drunk and I'll tell you.

I think a Jack/Jill shower would be perfect for you guys! And it would probably shut up the FMIL.

The cake looks SWEET! & yay for saving $64!

So, did Scarlet fever make an appearance or what? haha ;D

 

[tinkerbell 766]

Deena sweetie - Loving the cake!! I think that the GF cafe is an excellent choice. I love that place!!

 

[DoomBuggy0922]

Hi sweetie! Just caught up... your PJ is always an interesting (but sometimes heartbreaking!) read.

So... #1. I can totally relate to you about a strong mother figure. My mom is a perpetual 15 year old girl (she's 46 and still shops in Hollister!!!) and actually told me she wasn't excited for my wedding because DF and me have been together for so long. Like, REALLY?!?!? Thankfully, my bridesmaid and MOH have been supportive!

#2. I'm so proud of you for getting your life figured out. I really am. You're so hardworking--- it's so admirable. <3

#3. You broke my heart a little about the baby! DON'T let FMIL stop you from having a baby! Move. I moved 1,000 miles away from my family (although you did too-- you're from PA!) and it was the best thing DF and I ever did. Can't recommend it enough.

#4. That was a random breakdown from DF... but it sounds like it had to happen! And I'm glad you got everything figured out and together.

#5. I thought of you twice while I was in Disney! Randy took pictures of us at Luau Cove, and my DF wore his Perry shirt not once... oh, but twice. And SO many people commented on it!

 

[chipmunkfan]

Hi Deena,

Love your cake, the colors go together great. Also, like the new price

Hope your lunch with FMIL went okay yesterday. I love the idea of a co-ed shower, the gifts will be used by both of you anyway so why not have everyone there to celebrate.

I can't wait to see a pic of the ring!

Also, the baby topic: I agree with everyone else, please don't wait just because of FMIL. Now that your dr. has figured out some of the issues, you should start trying again. It only gets harder as you get older. I went through alot of infertility issues and several IVF's. It takes time and finally you will get rewarded. I would say go for it when you are ready!

 

[librarygeek]

What an adorable cake!

Your FMIL is being completely ridiculous. I'm glad you have a little private dinner planned with your family - a small dinner is COMPLETELY different than throwing a huge party, and you could tell her that you'll gladly do a dinner with her as well. I get your feeling about not wanting a party, it seems like it will just turn into a huge, stressful event that you don't need.

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

Sounds like you had an interesting night, lol. Why is it guys have all these crazy questions when they're plastered? Me, I just blurt out unneeded information, haha. Woopsie. ;D Ask me anything when I'm drunk and I'll tell you.

I think a Jack/Jill shower would be perfect for you guys! And it would probably shut up the FMIL.

The cake looks SWEET! & yay for saving $64!

So, did Scarlet fever make an appearance or what? haha ;D

I dunno what it is about him when he drinks--but it's hilarious. I feel like that was something we should have covered (and very possibly did) within the first month of dating, lol--43 months later he wants to revisit, lol.

I think the shower is a good idea--he told me to email his mom about it--i told him.... how about you. he said he would!!!! i about fell off my chair. the scar/fev never showed, but she never called to go--so WINNING!

Deena sweetie - Loving the cake!! I think that the GF cafe is an excellent choice. I love that place!!

I think so too!! They have a great staff and it's sooooo pretty in there!!!

Hi sweetie! Just caught up... your PJ is always an interesting (but sometimes heartbreaking!) read.

So... #1. I can totally relate to you about a strong mother figure. My mom is a perpetual 15 year old girl (she's 46 and still shops in Hollister!!!) and actually told me she wasn't excited for my wedding because DF and me have been together for so long. Like, REALLY?!?!? Thankfully, my bridesmaid and MOH have been supportive!

#2. I'm so proud of you for getting your life figured out. I really am. You're so hardworking--- it's so admirable. <3

#3. You broke my heart a little about the baby! DON'T let FMIL stop you from having a baby! Move. I moved 1,000 miles away from my family (although you did too-- you're from PA!) and it was the best thing DF and I ever did. Can't recommend it enough.

#4. That was a random breakdown from DF... but it sounds like it had to happen! And I'm glad you got everything figured out and together.

#5. I thought of you twice while I was in Disney! Randy took pictures of us at Luau Cove, and my DF wore his Perry shirt not once... oh, but twice. And SO many people commented on it!

I just got him more perry shirts, lol--he's obsessed. Thanks for being around for me I do the best I can and hopefully it all pays off!! I can't wait to see your pix!!!

Hi Deena,

Love your cake, the colors go together great. Also, like the new price

Hope your lunch with FMIL went okay yesterday. I love the idea of a co-ed shower, the gifts will be used by both of you anyway so why not have everyone there to celebrate.

I can't wait to see a pic of the ring!

Also, the baby topic: I agree with everyone else, please don't wait just because of FMIL. Now that your dr. has figured out some of the issues, you should start trying again. It only gets harder as you get older. I went through alot of infertility issues and several IVF's. It takes time and finally you will get rewarded. I would say go for it when you are ready!

Thanks!! Those were our original colors back from when we were going to use the Gazebo!! Kind of weird how things like that work out!! Luckily we didn't go to lunch--it was just a day for us to hang out--so nice!! About the little one--I think we'll revisit the whole thing in a year or two. Maybe after we get some house work done, after we're done with our debt consolidations it will open up $1025 a month and we will be about to care for a child much better with that available. I'm done with mine in March of 2013 and I think he's done with his in the beginning of 2014. I think I'll feel better about it then--plus if he gets the promotion he wants, and I'm paid off--then maybe I can be a SAHM My dream!!

What an adorable cake!

Your FMIL is being completely ridiculous. I'm glad you have a little private dinner planned with your family - a small dinner is COMPLETELY different than throwing a huge party, and you could tell her that you'll gladly do a dinner with her as well. I get your feeling about not wanting a party, it seems like it will just turn into a huge, stressful event that you don't need.

Yeah--my thoughts exactly. We're going to run this shower thing by her and if it's a no--then that was up to her. I would prefer she just give me the money and I'll do it--but I have a feeling that won't fly.

_____________________

I can't focus today. I have work to do and all I can think about is that my ring is being delivered today and I'm so nervous. It wasn't there yet at lunch--went home and checked. I hope it sparkles, and fits, and goes well with my e-ring. I'm kicking myself for ordering something so important online--but hopefully I'll feel better and it will be fabulous.

I can't believe I'm getting so close. Everyday it's a little more surreal. Our current to-do list includes getting his suit altered, finding him a white shirt for it, finding out how to rent our clubhouse, and paying off hotel stays.

I'm typing all this and all I can think about is that dumb ring lol. Sorry. I can see myself driving home like a maniac to get it. I just know.

I've tried to keep my mind off things by looking at appliances and furniture and everything that adds up to $10000 to renovate our condo. I've also skimmed the DVC re-sales and have my eye on one, lol. I looked at catering for a shower, made invites for it--whenever/if-ever it might be. Looked at favors, thought about decor. Despite all this, I keep looking down at my ring wondering what the band is going to look like

I'm going to try and do some actual work for now and see if that helps, lol. Probably not. I may go surf the restaurant and resort board and see if I have anything to say

If you don't hear from me by 5:40pm.... then something's wrong, lol--call a search party. Will update as soon as I open up the box!!

 

[DisneyShamrock]

I can't focus today. I have work to do and all I can think about is that my ring is being delivered today and I'm so nervous. It wasn't there yet at lunch--went home and checked. I hope it sparkles, and fits, and goes well with my e-ring. I'm kicking myself for ordering something so important online--but hopefully I'll feel better and it will be fabulous.

I did the same thing. I bought my ring online last winter during a jewelry sale. I hemmed and hawed over it for a few days before I finally just took a deep breath and clicked the Order button. I am so glad I did. It was perfect.

Your gut usually knows what's right. I think when you get it, it will be exactly what you were hoping for.

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

It's Here!

So... it's a little big compared to the e-ring... and it doesnt lay right up against it, but it's beautiful. But it doesn't lay right up against it.

Because the diamonds come further around... it's a weird feeling--will have to get used to it. It fits perfect.

Is it that bad??? Is it too much??? Thoughts?? These were all phone pix on my pant leg, lol..... I just got this thing like 2 minutes ago!!

 

[elleinad16]

It's gorgeous AND perfect. It looks great with your e-ring. I think it's a great match without being too crazy. Love, love, love it!

 

[DisneyShamrock]

I think they look PERFECT together! It actually looks like it was made to go with it.

 

[donald&daisy]

Oh, I really like it!! I think they go very well together...

 

[princesswendy720]

I think it looks perfect with it!

 

[CherylLynn]

I think it looks fantabulous! You did so good!!!!