Looking for some advice from other brides and bridesmaids

[Not so Dumbo]

I thought I'd ask about this in the weddings forum because I'd like to hear what other brides and bridesmaids would do in my situation.

I'm the maid of honnor in my sisters wedding. I'm 30, which makes me 10yrs older than her, a mom of 3 and have been married for 8 years. My DS is the ring bearer, my DH is an usher and the other kids will be there to look cute for family pictures.
She had originially planned for a July wedding but just recently moved it to March because she...well, to put it nicely will be giving me a niece/nephew in 8 months. She told all of the bridesmaids to go ahead and buy their dresses from ebay along as they are from David's bridal, floor length and apple color. I found one and when it came, it turned out that with the material being a iridecent taffeta the color of the dress is not the same as the other bridesmaids dresses. Close, but not a perfect match. The seller had a 100% feedback, so I don't think she was trying to pull one over on me.
I told her that I thought they would look fine, especially with me being the maid of honnor but she wants me to buy a different dress. I told her that if she is set on me not wearing that one in the wedding that she could buy it from me and sell it or whatever and I'd start over looking for a new one. If I tried to resell it on ebay I would loose at least the $15 I paid for shipping plus ebay/paypal fees and that's if it sold for what I paid for it. This was pretty much the last straw for us and now we are almost to the point of not talking to eachother anymore.
Between my dress, shoes, bustier, and the boy's tuxedos I've already spent close to $200 and I still need to buy DD a dress, the jewelry that goes with my dress, my DH shoes that will go with what he's supposed to wear and bridalshower, bachelorette, and wedding gifts for her. I'm going broke and it's not even my wedding. I hate that we're at eachothers throats, I'm I wrong for not wanting to pay for a new dress? How would you guys handle this? Sorry, for having to share my problem. TIA

 

[Sparkles9306]

I think it's an honest mistake with the dress. It's tough to tell colors/specific fabrics online. Your being the MOH, having a different dress would be fine, it's too bad she wouldn't go for it. Can you return the dress to the seller? Saying that it wasn't the correct dress that you needed, and explain the difficulty to tell online?

 

[IrishCinderella]

It's unfortunate that your dress turned out to be a different fabric. However, if your sister did not specify the fabric she wanted before you all started buying dresses, it was bound to happen that someone's dress didn't match. The same color looks completely different depending on the fabric. Normally, I'd say do whatever you can to make her happy (since she's the bride and that in and of itself is stressful), but in this situation I don't think your sister can expect you to pay for another dress outright.

If I were you, as much as a pain in the you-know-what it is, I would try to resell the dress on ebay. If it sells, it will give you a good portion of the money you'd need to get another. If it doesn't, I'd say you and your sister will have to come up with another solution; even if that means she has to give in and let you wear it.

I hope it works out for you both. I have 6 sisters and I know EXACTLY the frustration you are feeling right now. Believe me! May the force be with you. rotfl: )

 

[Miniefan]

I know how easily something small like this seems to blow up in your face but try to look at the big picture, your sister is getting married, this is supposed to be a happy time, so slow down, take a step back and re-evaluate everything. I have been in two weddings and traditionally I think that the MOH should wear something different,I would say I see that in a lot of weddings, I guess to sort of stand out from the other bridesmaids, so let your sis know this is the norm in most weddings.

On the grand scheme of things, understand that your sis is probably under a lot of stress and the things that you have to do and pay for in reference to her wedding are pretty minor, plus add to that the fact of now being pregnant, cut her some slack, you guys can work it out, if not have you ever checked into formal wear rental? Some cities have places like these. Just remember that she is your sis and this is supposed to be a happy time.

Hope everything works out for the best.

Kim

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I thought about contacting the ebay seller when I wasn't sure that it was apple, but she stated that she doesn't accept returns and if I payed to ship it back it would cost $10 (that was the amount on the pkg when it came) plus I wouldn't be refunded the $15 that it cost for the original shipping.

It just has me so upset that I've done everything I can to help her out ( with planning the wedding and with nonwedding related issues) and the first time there's a problem she doesn't want to reasonable. I'm just expected to eat the cost. Where's the love?

You know, I can't tell ya when the last time that I even looked at any of my wedding pictures was I guess after you've been married for a while, that kind of thing just isn't so important. In fact, I'll bet that they are really outdated

 

[smoof]

She needs to suck it up. You are the MOH. You can have a slightly different dress, and look in place.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

thanks for the replies......... you guys have made me feel much better