I am flying to Hawaii for my sisters wedding this weekend.
One of the ways to cut costs is they are getting a condo instead of regular hotel room. Since it is hard to cut room costs in your situation, perhaps spending a little more on a condo perhaps would save money on the meal budget. Anybody you can bunk with in a 2 bedroom condo--not as romantic, but it can ease the budget.
Hey, I'm sharing the condo with the bride and groom (they offered, I'm not crashing

)--though hubby did share some of our hilton honors points so they can have their own room at the Hilton Hawaiian village

. They would have gotten their own wedding night, but since I don't have to pay hotel, hubby wanted to do something nice.
We have had a Hilton Honors AMEX since 9/11 (we were supposed to get an airline card, but after 9/11 decided for a hotel card instead)--and it has taken us 3 years to amass 170,000 points....Hilton Hawaiian and DTD listed in my sig were 40,000 points a piece for just one night and we stayed at a Hampton Inn in Michigan for maybe 20,000 or 15,000. It takes a long time to accrue points, but depending on your spending habits and ability to repay responsibily each month, you could possibily earn 1 or maybe even 2 nights from using your credit card for regular expenses. Just wanted to give you an idea of the lenght of time it took us to accrue our points.
Just a thought! Good luck in your planning!