Let's Talk Teens & Curfews

[Tink888]

Summer vacation is almost here. For parents of teens:

How old is your teen?
What time is their summertime curfew?
How late will you allow kids at your house?

DS will soon be 14. I'm thinking 9:30 (dark) and 11:00 if he's at the neighbor's house. Kids are welcome at our place until 11:00.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

My kids are in their 20s and early 30s now, but I didn't do curfews. When they went out at night, we'd talk about where they were going and when they expected to be home, and if that changed, they would call me to let me know they'd be later.

Teresa

 

[powellrj]

My DS is 18 so he really doesn't have a curfew, but when he was younger I always used the city curfew.

DD is 13 and she doesn't have a curfew, its more of a case by case thing. It depends on where she is going and who she is with. Once she gets older and will be in cars, then it will change and she will have a curfew.

 

[luvmy2boyzz]

My DS is 13 we have live in a subdivision he is allowed to stay out until 11pm. He is usually at the house across the street or 1 block over. I am friends with all the parents of his friends and their is usually at least one parent around at the house he is hanging out at. He is also required to have his phone on him at all times and answer when I call.

 

[minkydog]

DD16 doesn't really have a set curfew. It depends on what's going on. If she's next door at a friends house, I might let her stay out until 11pm if we are still up. She doesn't date and she doesn't drive, so we have had to cross that bridge yet. We ask her to go to her room when we turn in, which she does. She might stay up late doing homework or watching a movie, but she is pretty self-regulated.

We just haven't had to monitor DD too closely. She doesn't push the envelope like our first child, Attilla the Hun, did.

 

[suejai]

With our 17 year old it is 10:30 on school nights and 11:30 on weekends. His curfews are much earlier than his friends, but he has never really complained. He will call if he is going to be a little late or if he wants it extended a bit.

Our 14 year old doesn't really have one because he is either sleeping over at a friends house or is at home. In the summer when may be out bike riding or what have you he has to be home at dusk.

 

[Planogirl]

DS (16) doesn't really have a curfew, at least not one imposed by me. Our town has a curfew for teens and he has to follow that.

 

[Justanopinion]

I think the OP is talking about kids who just hang out in the neighborhood.

Years ago when I was in middle and high school, before cell phones, we just sorta did whatever. I only had two real friends in the neighborhood so we only had a limited number of houses we could be at. I guess mom just didn't worry back then.

We also lived on a lake. Mom's only rule to that really was that if we were going down to the water to fish or going out in the boat we had to leave a note and it had to include what time we left. The note was to be left on the toilet...that way she always knew where to find it.
Also, no swimming after dark. We couldn't go down by the water alone and we had to take a life vest for each person(wearing them while in the boat).

Other than that...we didn't really run the streets but we just sat at one person's house or another.

No curfew really. We knew our chores and what had to be done when she got home each day.

 

[mom2travel]

DS (14) doesn't have a set curfew. If he is hanging out with friends in our neighborhood, then he needs to be home before we go to bed. Same if friends are over and not sleeping over - need to be gone by the time we are ready for bed. I'll say that would generally translate into 9-10pm on weeknights (summer only!) and maybe 11pm on weekends. If he is out at a friend's house and we need to pick him up, then the time is usually earlier. We're flexible though for particular requests (like a couple weekends ago he went to a late movie on a Sat night, but one of our neighbors drove them and stayed for the movie, so we were ok with him getting home at midnight). One thing to me more important than curfew is that there needs to be an adult at home if the kids are hanging out at someone's house. I like when they hang out at our house - makes it easier (in some ways). Also a must - he has to keep his cell phone on so I can reach him

 

[diskids2]

DD (18) Senior in HS now Curfew 2 am.

DS (14) 8th grade now No curfew...case by case basis.

I started a curfew with DD when the driving began and there was more of "I'm not sure where we are going and when,etc. and less of "please drop me off at the movies and pick me up at or drop me off at such and such house and pick me up."

At age 16....non school nights curfew was midnight
At age 17....non school nights curfew was 1 am



If it's OK with the OP, I'd like to add....what do you do if your child breaks curfew (if there is indeed one)?

If DD breaks curfew she doesn't go out the next time. If she is in a jam and can't make curfew and calls for our assistance....she doesn't get "punished". It worked for us. Now that she is going into college...I'm not sure how I'm going to approach a break of curfew.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Summer vacation is almost here. For parents of teens:

How old is your teen?
What time is their summertime curfew?
How late will you allow kids at your house?

DS will soon be 14. I'm thinking 9:30 (dark) and 11:00 if he's at the neighbor's house. Kids are welcome at our place until 11:00.

With my 18yodd we did city curfews as her time to be home. Now she is 18 she doesn't have a curfew. So we just discuss outings and times as needed. Learning how to text helps.

My friends dd just got a curfew violation from the police. She is 16.

What is your city's curfew?

 

[Longsx3]

DD will be 13 in August, not set time but I imagine most night she will be in by 930 and kids will be gone by 10.

When she gets older it will be on a case by case basis, if grades are kept up...for us that means A's then probably 900 on school nights and mid night on weekends...but nothing is set in stone.

 

[Mandychelle79]

Never had a curfew growing up. It was a case by case basis. When I started driving I had to be in by Midnight or out past 5 as I had a "Cinderella" License and could not drive between those times. Many nights after all night bowling were spent sitting in parking lots waiting for 5 am

 

[MoniqueU]

My DS midnight as that is what his provisional license says.. He has gone past that for a party for a friend but I REALLY need him to drive so that was a one time thing.
He goes to a private highshool and is involved in sports so he doesn't have a ton of free time and doesn't ask to go out all that much. He jas little sisters too so he bareiy invites friends over. He had a 16th birthday party that got totally out of control so I guess he knows not to invite some of these kids over.
I have a DD 11 and a DD 12 Both have friends that are all sisters 3 doors down. I don't care how late they stay there or how late the girls are over at my house. The kids have been known to be swimming at 3 am. They are all good kids and we love them to death. The only thing is if they leave after my DH and I are asleep I want one of my girls to lock the door behind them.

My kids don't just loiter or roam the neithborhood even in the daylight. They have to be at a specific house and have their cells on. Most of the time the kids are at my house becaouse I don't mind the late nights and I let everyone help themselves to the food and we have a pool I don't worry too much about them walking 3 doors down after dark I just don't want them hanging out they need to be in a house.

 

[minkydog]

If DD breaks curfew she doesn't go out the next time. If she is in a jam and can't make curfew and calls for our assistance....she doesn't get "punished". It worked for us. Now that she is going into college...I'm not sure how I'm going to approach a break of curfew.

I think it's a rule somewhere that once kids go to college their curfew days are over.

The only kind of curfew my DS22 has is that he let himself into the house quietly, no friends, no cooking after 11pm, and don't wake his Dad up. We have had to pick him up twice in the middle of the night, once when his truck got "booted" downtown and once when he was pulled over for speeding and suspicion of drunk driving. Needless to say, we picked him up but DS was mortified. He told me he wished the cop had just taken him to jail for a few days, rather than having to face his Dad on the side of the road at 3am with two open containers in the truck.

 

[MrsPete]

My kids are in their 20s and early 30s now, but I didn't do curfews. When they went out at night, we'd talk about where they were going and when they expected to be home, and if that changed, they would call me to let me know they'd be later.

Teresa

That's how we treat our kids. If they want to go out, they ask. We say yes or no, and we agree upon a time to be back -- and they'd better be back on time. Depending upon their plans, my plans, the supervision and transportation available, the time of day, even the weather . . . that time might be early or rather late.

A standard curfew has always struck me as a really bad idea because it implies, "Go anywhere, do anything you like, but be back at 10:00."

 

[Tink888]

With my 18yodd we did city curfews as her time to be home. Now she is 18 she doesn't have a curfew. So we just discuss outings and times as needed. Learning how to text helps.

My friends dd just got a curfew violation from the police. She is 16.

What is your city's curfew?

Not sure if our township has one, if it does I don't think it would go past 11:00.

I think the OP is talking about kids who just hang out in the neighborhood.

Years ago when I was in middle and high school, before cell phones, we just sorta did whatever. I only had two real friends in the neighborhood so we only had a limited number of houses we could be at. I guess mom just didn't worry back then.

Other than that...we didn't really run the streets but we just sat at one person's house or another.

No curfew really. We knew our chores and what had to be done when she got home each day.

That's kind of what I mean except DS isn't allowed to roam the entire neighborhood doing whatever.......more of a short radius of where we live....and just hanging out, playing basketball, riding bikes, etc. He has a cell phone so I always have an idea of where he is, what he's doing, who he's with. But, you know, as he gets older I'm sure he'll want to expand the radius of where he can go. LOL.

Special circumstances like movies, bowling, etc - we do those on a case by case thing.

If it's OK with the OP, I'd like to add....what do you do if your child breaks curfew (if there is indeed one)?

If DD breaks curfew she doesn't go out the next time. If she is in a jam and can't make curfew and calls for our assistance....she doesn't get "punished". It worked for us. Now that she is going into college...I'm not sure how I'm going to approach a break of curfew.

Totally OK . Haven't had that happen to us yet. He's very good about being home when he's supposed to or will call before hand to get permission to be late. But if he did break curfew, he'd get a warning first and then grounded if it happened again (though I'd be calling him real quick to see where he was).

 

[Tink888]

That's how we treat our kids. If they want to go out, they ask. We say yes or no, and we agree upon a time to be back -- and they'd better be back on time. Depending upon their plans, my plans, the supervision and transportation available, the time of day, even the weather . . . that time might be early or rather late.

A standard curfew has always struck me as a really bad idea because it implies, "Go anywhere, do anything you like, but be back at 10:00."

IMHO I guess it depends on how you look at it. In our case, DS will always be expected to tell us where he's going, what he's planning on doing and with who. That's a given in our house.

What I sort of like about setting up a curfew is that there's a base standard set. It'll always be open for discussion depending on what the circumstance it but there's a general time in place and a boundary that's been set and he'll know what it is. KWIM?

Never a case of just setting him loose to do whatever. Not in our house anyway.

 

[MizTink]

My DS midnight as that is what his provisional license says.. He has gone past that for a party for a friend but I REALLY need him to drive so that was a one time thing.
He goes to a private highshool and is involved in sports so he doesn't have a ton of free time and doesn't ask to go out all that much. He jas little sisters too so he bareiy invites friends over. He had a 16th birthday party that got totally out of control so I guess he knows not to invite some of these kids over.
I have a DD 11 and a DD 12 Both have friends that are all sisters 3 doors down. I don't care how late they stay there or how late the girls are over at my house. The kids have been known to be swimming at 3 am. They are all good kids and we love them to death. The only thing is if they leave after my DH and I are asleep I want one of my girls to lock the door behind them.

My kids don't just loiter or roam the neithborhood even in the daylight. They have to be at a specific house and have their cells on. Most of the time the kids are at my house becaouse I don't mind the late nights and I let everyone help themselves to the food and we have a pool I don't worry too much about them walking 3 doors down after dark I just don't want them hanging out they need to be in a house.

sounds like my house. most of the kids hang out at my house because i would rather them be here than out somewhere else. sometimes it is hard to keep up with the food though!!
if ds15 is at a friends, it's usually the boy in another apartment in our same building, so he can usually stay as late as he wants.
the thing that's hard for me is that i try to go to sleep by 10 or 11 because i get up for work at either 2:30 or 4:30, depending on the day. i just can't sleep if everyone isn't in for the night......
if my dds 13 & 10 are outside they have to be in by dark. unless there's a big group out together playing. then i let them stay out a little bit later...and if their brother is out too to keep an eye on them.