Kids or no kids???? that is the question

[bourgie]

Okay, I am already married, been for 15 years...However this board is where all the experts are regarding weddings.

My DH and I were invited to a wedding and the invite says to Mr. & Mrs. Blahblah....no "and family etc: on invite.

I assume it to mean just that, just me and my husband are invited.

My husband is unsure.

We really don't want to call and ask because the FOB is such a nice guy and may think they offended us by not inviting our children (2 girls 11 and 8) and I don't want him to think he has to.

I totally and 100% respect the bride and grooms wishes, whether it for personal, financial or whatever.........

.I was in the same place 15 years ago and when we started planning our wedding we decided no kids, and then after sending all the invites back a group of people (VERY CLOSE RELATIVES TO THE FAMILY) decided they would stage a "coo" (not sure of spelling) and would not RSVP unless the kids were invited so we bascially were "bullied" into inviting 5 children to our wedding.

So i sent the invite back that Mr.&Mrs. BlahBlah. would be attending........

I am not offended if my children are not invited at all. They are not close to this person at all and frankly neither are we...........

So long story even longer, I am setting up a sitter for my kids where they will probably have a better time.

OPINIONS PLEASE!!

 

[DisneyFairy19]

YOU ARE SO SWEET. i have people complaining that they cant bring their kids..

I am putting adults only on the invite and just the couples names on the envelope. I know if I wanted the kids to go it would say Mr. & Mrs. blah blah and family..

When its regarding to Mr. & Mrs... that means just the two...

 

[lpizzuro123]

I completely agree.

Linda

 

[ElleBren]

We just went though the same thing. Well similar. If it doesn't say & family/kids they are not invited. I wish we could have set up a sitter but since we had to travel for the wedding I ended up not going to the reception and watching our daughter.

The only thing that really bothered me was as I was leaving to go find something to eat, since I was missing the reception, I saw some small children going to the reception. I totally understand not wanting any kids there, but it really does hurt that my daughter was singled out. She is such a good girl too.

Anywho I would just go with no kids especially since it doesn't seem to be a problem anyway.

 

[bourgie]

DisneyFairy19- I saw your invites ( i have been reading your journal and LOVE it!!) You take pics like I do. I was telling my DH about it last night when you drove to Orlando and took a pic of the clock when you left and then when you arrived!!!!!!

Your invites are beautiful!! That is what sparked my thread....

I really think it is up to the bride and groom i really really do........

 

[bourgie]

one of the worst parts was that at my wedding my cousin had his 2 kids (they were not involved in the coo it was the other side) and my mom tried to get them to come to teh wedding, they had no sitter, so they just came to the church...they had to travel a bit too.........

 

[Lynn5700]

I'm positive that it would have said and family if they were inviting kids...that's what I did for our at home reception.

Yeah I say you two go and have a nice time without the kiddies

 

[lpizzuro123]

Inviting some kids and not all kids is hard but we are having two kids at our wedding reception and no others. They are my DF's nieces kids and one is our ringbearer.

It is hard when some kids are invited and some are not but I feel it is up to the bride and groom and the only kids we are inviting are family (no friends kids).

Linda

 

[bourgie]

another funny thing is the bride is one of the 5 kids we had to invite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[mla1977]

I agree with everyone else. No Kids. At least your invite is clear. The mailing envelope was addressed only to me and the inside envelope said NOTHING. Didn't know if DBF was invited or not. Turns out that only spouses (maybe fiances if there were any) were invited. Significant others of 6 years were not (more reason for him to just propose already!).

 

[PrincessBride010103]

another funny thing is the bride is one of the 5 kids we had to invite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I'm sorry I couldn't help but crack up at that! oh the irony!

 

[alissa2008]

I saw some small children going to the reception. I totally understand not wanting any kids there, but it really does hurt that my daughter was singled out. She is such a good girl too.

I wouldn't take it personally -- I've been to weddings where people assumed their children were invited and they weren't... which makes other family members feel bad that they didn't bring their kids -- it was probably a faux-pas on the part of the kids parents, and not that you were being singled out... I'm sure of it! OR, as we toyed with the idea of having kids invited to our at home reception, we thought to invite only immediate families children and not friends' or colleagues'...then we decided we wanted everyone to share in the fun (especially with the disney theme) so kids are welcome! (Plus we got the caterer to make a special discounted kids meal, and bottomless fountain drinks -- since they obviously wouldn't be drinking liquor)

I'm positive that it would have said and family if they were inviting kids...that's what I did for our at home reception.

Yeah I say you two go and have a nice time without the kiddies

I agree with Lynn on this one -- if the invitation singled out Mr. & Mrs. that was their way at hinting sans kiddies... but like, for ours, we're going to put everyones name specifically -- or "Jones Family" on the invites...so people know for sure...


On a side note: I actually had a couple request I not invite their kids (the woman just finished having her 3rd!) and she wanted a "grown up" moment... she said (very nicely) ... "would it be ok if we didn't bring the kids? I just kind of want to enjoy the evening without worrying about babysitting the munchkins" ... which I can COMPLETELY appreciate as well.

 

[faeriegrl]

It sounds as though it is adults only.

and family would indicate you were all invited.

Brittany

 

[newyearsbride]

I agree as well, but only because I'm only inviting those who I put on the invitation to my wedding. However, if I wasn't in the middle of planning a wedding, I would say the opposite. I would have assumed that if it didn't clearly state "adults only" or "no children" I would be able to bring my kids, so I see your confusion.

 

[alissa2008]

It sounds as though it is adults only.

and family would indicate you were all invited.

Brittany

OMG Brittany -- Figment was at your wedding?? I didn't realize you could choose him!!

 

[SandrA9810]

Since you seem alright with the kids staying at home, let them stay at home, nothing says you have to bring them either. And especially if you don't know that family very well, your kids might end up miserable by themselves. I always hated going to adult things where there were a few kids, but they had all been friends for a long time and I felt like an outcast.
Plus what kid doesn't like a night without the parents??

 

[chepic]

I concur....no kids....get the sitter and dance the night away. My only thought is this a destination wedding, and if so, then are you taking the sitter with you on the trip? If so, that becomes a very expensive sitter.

 

[bourgie]

I concur....no kids....get the sitter and dance the night away. My only thought is this a destination wedding, and if so, then are you taking the sitter with you on the trip? If so, that becomes a very expensive sitter.

no, not a destination wedding It is all of 5 minutes from our home

It will be a good time for sure!! I sent my RSVP back with only my DH and myself listed as going and the bride has not called asking about DD and DD, so as i assumed, it is just for me and DH. That is fine w/me!!