Kids in the bed....

[PatsGirl]

Both my kids were put in their own beds and room right from the start but both kids started with nightmares and middle of the night wakings around the age of 4. I was told way back then that that is a common age for nightmares, when they become more creative and are also subjected to outside influences (tv, preschool, etc).

DS slept with me off and on until he was 8 and my live-in boyfriend at the time made it a deal-breaker and I no longer allowed him to come into my room at night. FWIW, this will remain one of the top 5 things I regret doing to my kids, I still feel it was done wrong but hey hindsight is everything...

DD started coming into my room around age 4 and it got increasingly worse. I tried everything...getting up several times each night for months on end to put her back in her bed, sleeping on the floor next to her bed, making her sleep on the floor next to my bed in a sleeping bag which then transitioned to a cot in my room. I might mention that it was just she and I living in the house so no partner to consider. After a year on the floor next to my bed and then a year on the cot, I finally relented and she and I share a bed to this day. She is 13 Everyone told me she'd eventually want to go back into her own room and bed but she becomes extremely anxious whenever the discussion comes up.

In her defense, we live in a tri-level home. Her brother had the basement room, I have the second floor master bedroom, and she has the bedroom on the first floor adjacent to the living room AND FRONT DOOR. For whatever reason, she is terrified because of the location of both her room and the other "sleepers". She refused to go into the basement away from the front door and thus two levels away from me. I refuse to give up my master bed/bath/office area that I waited so long to build on. Also, so long as there is another person in her room (when friends sleep over, etc.) she is perfectly fine there, she just won't sleep there alone.

So, careful what you do...and don't believe that every child will outgrow it FTR, I don't really mind sharing my bed with her but it has become an issue with family memberrs who know and in particular her Dad who thinks she needs therapy because of it

 

[minkydog]

I was one of those not a mom yets that said I will NEVER let my child sleep with me. You put them down and thats that. I sure learned never to say never.

I know what you mean. I've learned to sweeten that crow before I have to eat it. My darling child was never going to do a lot of things, including sleep with us. Well, that went out the window pretty quick. DS24 was a fussy sleeper and I was so sleep deprived that it started to be a good idea for us to sleep together. Time went on, we had several major life changes, DS became anxious and it seemed not the right time to work on sleeping issues. He slept with us in a queen bed most nights until he turned 5. THen all of a sudden, he was done.

When the next child came along, I did things a little differently. DD was an easiery sleeper, but we had a few times when she wanted to get in the bed with us. This time I did things a little differently. I gave her a pillow and a sleeping bag next to my bed. She was welcome to come to me during the night, but if she wanted to stay in my room she had to sleep in her own space. (Of course, all that went out the window when she was sick.) She didn't need to sleep in our room too often, but when she did she understood and even enjoyed camping out on the carpet.

 

[Feralpeg]

DD never slept in my bed. I would, however, like to figure out how to get the cat to sleep someplace else. I wake up feeling like a pretzel because of her and she gives off so much heat!

 

[pigletgirl]

I was never allowed as a child to sleep in my parents' bed. If we needed to be with them, we got to be on the floor in a sleeping-bag.

I will probably do the same when I have kids.